please help

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2009

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Nettie }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Cathi }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited December 2009

    Cathi - just remember what is most important, remember to have fun, this season is really about family, being together,  and not about stuff and what is under the tree.  Please don't overdo and really run yourself down more than you have ... you have given so many gifts already with all the help and time you have spent with the kids and kidlets, the gift of you! 

    Netti - hugs, higs, hugs

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited December 2009

    Nettie, when my husband was 'under employed' several years ago we just wanted to give up on Christmas. We were struggling to make ends meet, we lost a car (voluntary reposessed), and didn't know where we were going to get money for gifts. That year I made most gifts that we gave out and didn't even give gifts to each other. We would hear the song by Paul McCartney 'simply having a wonderful Christmas time' and we would sing it with a very sarcastic emphasis on the wonderful. We made it through the rough times, he has worked at a job (truck driving) for the past 4 years, has 3 yrs safety driving with the company, and has more than doubled his income from his previous employer, every year gets a little bit better. It will get better and if you don't feel like celebrating Christmas with your usual gusto this year, so be it, just do what you physically and mentally can do. Every once in a while you can have a sarcastic 'wonderful' Christmas and it is OK.

    Sheila

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited December 2009

    right now we are in the middle of a major winter snow event for our area and I am not coming back to work after lunch and I am taking next week off for Christmas, so if I don't get to post next week, I just want to wish all my cyberfriends a very Merry Christmas!

    Sheila

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    Nettie, it's just like the story when the Grinch stole Christmas. He took everything associated with Christmas, but it came anyway and it was good. That's what mine will be this year, too. We have to take care of ourselves and allow Christmas to come to us for a change instead of trying to create it. Courage, my friend!

    Jane, what's going on that you need a D&C? Everything okay? None of my business, of course, but I care.

    I'm plugging along with repairing my system. I'm just not in the mood for it. I've had to take out a drive, put in a temporary one, install Windows on it, try to recover all the files and settings from the old ones and transfer them to an external drive, then will put the old drive back in, erase it, install Windows on it, install all my programs, retrieve files and settings from the backup..................help!!!

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Merry Christmas Shelia to you and your wonderful family. WOW Judie you are busy,  I have no clue how to do any of that stuff, what Ed can't do and he does alot W/Computer we get a Geek. 

    Elaine you are so right,  but this year the "Blues" are setting in again. My first Christmas after DX I was so sure it was to be my last,  I cried and cried and cried,   the past couple that fear had subsided some,  not completely but mostly,  now I find myself again Wondering is this it,  will I have more holidays, I look at Ella this past week and wonder will she know me,  will the others SMILE when they think of me,  Dam Bootface,  I don't want to allow it to rob me of time, but it is again kinda hard to keep those thoughts at bay.  I put on my Brave face for the family haven't shared a whole lot with them, maybe they know more than I give them credit for,  I don't know, but right now the subject for me with all of them is taboo. 

    So I am the Christmas downer her with all of you.  SORRY - 

    XOXOXOXOXOXO

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited December 2009

    (((((((((((Cathi))))))))))) - please know that I think of you often and pray for you and your family. I hope and pray that you have many years left with your loved ones.

    ((((((((((Nettie)))))))))))  - I'm thinking and praying for you too and I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. Please come and rant here as much as you like. It's always good to hear from you.

     Happpy Christmas Sheila!! I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Made a snowman for me!

    Judie and  Meg, thanks for asking. The D&C went well yesterday. I had a great all woman team - a lovely gyno (I can imagine her singing sultry jazz ballads - she's gorgeous), an equally nice anaesthetist and sweet nurse. Everything went well. My gyn said that I had a thickening in my uterus that shouldn't be there and a fibroid. She mentioned the slight possibility of something sinister but I'm sure it's all fine. These minor things are very common at my age. I hope to get the path report before Christmas but I'm not at all worried.

    It's going to be a busy week as I make up for lost time. So much to do - so much food to prepare. I've always had quite simple Christmases but this year it's going to be a large gathering and I hope I can do it moderately well. The pressure is on! I do so want everyone to enjoy themselves.

    Love to everyone

    Jane xoxox

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Jane - xoxoxoxoxo - I know your path report will be just fine,  in my prayers. 

    Well God has a strange way sometimes of slapping us in the face and saying wake up and enjoy NOW,  dear friends of ours who always share holidays and every other function are trying to cancell Christmas eve with us,  he lost his job today so  they have decided to Cancell Christmas,  they have no children,  just the two of them both in mid 50's may have mentioned them before Tom has been friends with Ed sence they were about 5,  anyway I gave them a pep talk  - I used your Grinch Story Judie,  while I was reminding them what it really is all about,  A big hand from above slapped me in the face - LOL.  Soooooooooooooo this evening his Ed's Christmas dinner for his guys and vendors and what all, I wasn't at all looking forward to going,  but now-  It's time to celebrate - LOL I plan on eating a whole lot and having 3  to many Cosmo's and perhaps a party after the party - LOL  All the other scary crap in life can just go in the closet until 2010.

    MERRY HO-HO ALL.

    I love you,  off to put on something sexy.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    Cathi!

    We'll make it with what we have!

    Here's to your sexy dress at Ella's wedding...you'll be there!  

    Thanks for sharing Jane. Please let us know the results. 

    Love y'all! Send me a geek for Christmas, will you? I'm so tired of this!

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited December 2009

    Cathi - I so understand wondering if I will be here next year, if I will see graduations, marriages, grandchildren...I really do understand (I guess most here do). But I also know that I have no control over that, no control over how long my treatment will work and whether something else will help, whether my disease will progress more, and and and. Does that scare me? You bet!! But I also know that I need to be aware of whatever is going on - good or bad - I, we, need to live/experience our lives TODAY and not get so caught up in all the maybe's that are such a part of our lives now. I don't want to miss today because I am so worried about the unknowns of tomorrow.

    So put on that sexy dress, have 4 too many Cosmos and soak in the love from Alexis, Brandon, Langdon and Ella, just do all the great everyday Grandma stuff (they will remember), know that Ed loves you no matter what and you are rich beyond words because of them.... that is what Christmas is about. Hugs hugs hugs, you are in my heart and thoughts dear one.

    Hugs to everyone; Jane - I am sure everything will be fine but here are hugs for you hugs, hugs, hugs. Nettie, Towhee my thoughts are with you.

    To everyone - Merry Christmas, best wishes for the holidays you celebrate !!!

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited December 2009

    Well, the den is FINALLY being carpeted as I write. They're trying to get it done before the snow starts. It's an ugly honey-brown color (looks like poop) and it's cheap, but I had no say and washed my hands of it weeks ago. When that's done, we can move the furniture back in that's been sitting in the living room, and then hopefully, get some Christmas decorations up.

    Speaking of the snow storm, who all has been affected by it? It's 1:30 PM and no flakes yet in NY, but they're predicting 12" by tomorrow. I had one holiday party I was looking forward to that was to be tonight, but it's just been canceled, darn it. It's only a couple of miles away for me, but others were coming much further and they backed out. So the hostess decided the safest thing was to postpone the gathering until January. Stuffed mushrooms, anyone?  I've got a pan of them waiting to go in the oven. I guess I'll have the for dinner, lol.    

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Elaine thank you your words mean so very much right now,  as all of you mean so much.  XOXOXOXOXO.  Last evening was good,  however for the first time ever I had to drive hoome,  we got to the restaurant and Ed orderd a Martini,  before it was gone I just knew he was feeling it,  I had a cosmo, and for dinner her another Martini,  WOW -  myself and a co-car guy that has known him for 30 years said in all that time he had never seen Ed "slurr his words"  This AM he said those were the strongest Martin's he ever had in his life,  and he loves Martini's. 

    Today  Alexcis and Ella are here,  and we are loving it.  Amanda wanted to take Landen to see Santa and spend some one-on-one time, she didn't ask but I "SUGGESTED" it might be nice. I think she is having a little PP Depression right now, not much sleep lately,  of coarse 2 little ones never sleep at the same time.  So we are baking watching Christmas movies,  Alexcis loves Christmas Story,  and its cool here today.  So Elaine I am taking your words and going to live in THE MOMENT, 

    XOXOXOXOXOXO

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited December 2009

    And this moment sounds WONERFUL. It's special because Alexis is baking with you, Ella is (hopefully) napping nearby. Alexis will talk about this yrs from now "remember the time you and I baked cookies with Ella?" she'll say. BTW how were the cosmos? and how was Ed this morning?

    Nancy - good  luck with the carpet, maybe it won't look so bad after the furniture is put back in ?

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited December 2009

    My word guys!

    Thank you , thank you, thank you x a million!

    I had an infection, checked my temp, was 38.5, was violently sick for 2 days (still can't take solid food) and am feeling much better, even though the skin under my boob has broke down! Got gel and dressings from the fabulous nurse at the cancer unit. Not painful, but some bloody (and smelly) discharge. I feel so much better now. Temp is still a bit high 37.5 ish, but I'm so OK my dear friends. Can't believe how much better I am. Wrapped my presents today and under the tree now looks great. I make a production of present wrapping so they are colour co-ordinated and beautiful and I finally feel CHRISTMASSY!!! Did some housework too, bit restricted as the nails are coming off - still getting the s/e of chemo, and did a bit of last minute shopping yesterday after rads ON MY OWN. I felt empowered.

    Cathi, you are indestructable, and an inspiration, as always. Hope 2010 bring an end to you hip pain. Pain is commanding. So glad you had a great night out. You are lucky you have Ed. He sounds like the most wonderful man. And wee Ella is safe into this world.

    Thank you everyone for you kind words and shared experiences. I look forward to the day - soon - when I can reassure the frightened that these things too shall pass. When I had the bowel issue I was convinced the damage was permanent as it lasted the whole of the chemo, and beyond. And TAX can cause peripheral neuropathy of the bowel. So painful and you feel constantly sick too. Then lo and behold, as the days went on after chemo normality returned!!! Still need the op to repair the damage but that will be when all of this is over, and will be done under general, not local, anesthetic as the area was too traumatised. Then that will be another box ticked. Think the lesson I have learned is that we might just be poorly, and nothing to do with the therapies!!

    Jane, Judie, Shiela and everyone. I love and admire you all and cannot emphasis enough how much I appreciate your support. We have a fabulous group here, all local to the West coast of Scotland, young women with bc and we email, chat and meet very regularly - but we are going through this at the moment - at various stages. Some are nearing the end of rads, some going through chemo still, so we are kind of like the fighting the war together (that's exactly what it feels like) You guys are wise survivors who are a source of hope and wisdom.

    Going for lunch tomorrow (still have no appetite alas) and to get very late shopping. Hopefully I won't fall. We have had blizzards here in Scotland too. Looks great but icy underfoot!!

    Oh - finishing rads on 5th Jan (4 of which are boosters) and then Herceptrin for the rest of the year. I have been gettign Herceptrin with Taxoter since August, and getting concurren tly with rads for the last month. No bloody wonder I am tired and run down eh? Seeing the breast surgeon on 8th Jan who'll advise me of next step - if any. Also options on the lumptectomy, I think.

    Must get to grips with getting photos uploaded to you guys, when I am a wee bit better.

    Love and lollipops

    Nettie xxxxxx

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited December 2009

    Nettie - gentle hugs, you are almost there!! Just remember to rest and take good care of yourself.

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  • md_mouse
    md_mouse Member Posts: 99
    edited December 2009

    NancyD,

    Here in Maryland we have gotten about 17 inches of snow.  It is now starting to stop.  It looks soooo beautiful. 

    Cathi, Sheila, Karen, Nettie and everyone else HUGS to you all.

    Where is Sue?

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Well we didn't get to the cookies,  but we did make 5 loafs of bread and 2 applesauce cakes,  YUMMY. Alexcis ate about 25 mints,  she Lovessssssss the. A great day,  WOW mouse thats a lot of snow,  I sure don't miss that, it is quite chilly and VERY windy here today,  Ella was a dream all day,  soooooooooooo tiny.  Elaine the one Cosmo I had was great I knwe I was gonna have to drive ,  so I only had one,  Ed felt great today, I sure would not have,  the guys called him and were teasing a bit,  noone has seen him like that ever me included,  he was fine and it was deserved. 

    Nettie keep on keeping on - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  I think the rads will help my hip from what I am told and read here at BC.ORG,  of coarse when things calm some that will most likely ease it up too. 

    Well off to bed. Alexcis is spending the night she crashed watching Frosty @ 8PM, so she will rise early I am sure.

    SLEEP WELL ALL - XOXOXOXOXO

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    Nettie, you are beginning to sound like your old self! I'm thrilled. You must be well by spring because my young son is spending a semester abroad at University College London and plans to visit Scotland while he is there!

    Today marks one year since my elder son left us. The family gathered at the Laser Dome for the Laser Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon show. My son felt that this was one of the finest pieces of music ever done. He loved all music from classical to alternative, but this album defined him best. During "Great Gig in the Sky" and again after the encore, "Wish You Were Here", this was projected on the dome as part of the show. I felt very close to him. It was meaningful for all of us. His nickname on the internet for years was Vector-X or Vex for short.

    Be at peace, my son.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2009

    Judie, you gave me goosebumps! God Bless you and hold you and smile down upon you.

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited December 2009

    Hi lassies

    Just a quick note. Still feeling good. Getting herceptrin tomorrow morning (looking forward to seeing the oncies and the other Herceptrin girls. Great atmosphere) then a dash across Glasgow to the Beatson for rads as it is the specialist cancer care centre. Then I'll get dropped off to buy in the food/drink (well we are Sottish!!) for Christmas. Just a small dinner Christmas day, but I have all the family round on Boxing day. Hopefully if I get non perishables tomorrow I can miss the mad last minute rush. Want to get as much done as poss when I feel this good.

    Judie, I LOVE Pink Floyd, have everything they have ever done, including their solo projects and saw "The Wall" in Earls Court in London years ago. Like Barbe (Hi ya Barbe, by the way!) your post brought tears to my eyes. What a tribute to him. You should be proud of him and yourselves.

    I might not be on for the next few days as I have rads (BOO) and trying to get the rest of the preperations done (Yay!!) so can I take this oppurtunity to wish you all the best Christmas ever.

    God bless, and thank you all for being there.

    Nets xxx

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    JUDIE - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX I can't even begin to imagine the emotions you hae had to endure this past year.  Much love my friend. 

    So heres a new pic of Ella for all her Cyber G'Mas. Taken Saturday she was napping as Alexcis and I baked

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Alexcis Baking  - NOT LICKING BEATERS.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Love this one -  Alexcis after her shower in my big comy snuggly robe & Margo too.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    OK I PROMISE THE LAST ONE -  TODAY- LOL

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2009
    Cathi they're GREAT !! Keep them coming! I am living as a ME-MA vicariously through you...Laughing
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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited December 2009

    Barbe your day will come,  it is truly wonderful,  very tireing at times,  but the best ever!!!!!!!!

    So this is how crazy Ed and I are,  both DD's are struggling with $$$$$$ this year as everyone is, not that we are not on a tighter budget but of coarse lder and wiser wirh our finances.  Ed thought and I concured we should have Santa come her for everyone this year,  everyone is staying over Christmas Eve,  we are gonna do our big dinner then,  and have a light breakfast Christmas AM W/Gifts.  I think it s a good thing - but Ed is like tickled pink -  maybe those Martinis are still hiting him.  LOL

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited December 2009

    I snuck on my son's computer when he went to the store. I ended up with 10 inches of Snow Friday night into Saturday morning. My car hasn't left the driveway since I parked Friday afternoon. I have a drive up slope to my house and I usually get stuck half way up. My son is driving me around this weekend. Fortunately I am off next week and don't have to get up early and go to work. I went this afternoon with my sister and helped her finish her shopping and I picked up a few things as well. John already picked up a camera and tri-pod I said I would pay some on so I didn't have to buy him anything. Donald is hard to figure out, but I did find a plug-n-play hand held game system with 50 different games on for his truck and a video of a British tv series we saw on PBS a couple of years ago he loved, I am going to surprise him with the video for his birthday next month.  We are not very extravagant just get things we need.

    Sheila

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited December 2009

    Coming by this thread to wish you all a Happy Holiday. If anyone is in personal communication with dear Sue, would you be so kind to tell her I never haver her far from my thoughts. She's not posted in such a long time, and I miss her so and hope she is healing well.

     Thank you,

    Tender

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited December 2009

    Judie, I think it's great that your family celebrated his life that way.  I have goosebumps too!

    Cathi, the pictures are great!  Ella is more precious every time you post pics, and so is Alexcis!

    Hugs,

    Karen

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited December 2009

    Sue posts a lot on Facebook, Tender.  Do you have an account?  She's up and walking again, but slipped and fell again either yesterday or today.  Silly girl!!!

    Have a wonderful holiday!

    Hugs,

    Karen

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