So Now What???

That's what I've been wondering the last few days.  I finished rads today and had my last treatment.  My rad treatment team presented me with a "graduation diploma" signed by everyone for me to frame  I wish I could be happy about this but I'm left feeling fearful now that treatment is over.  I've been on this whirlwind of Dr. appts for tests, surgeries, consultations, chemo rads, and I felt safe and taken care of during this nightmare.  Now I'm left with the fear of what if none if it "took" and that beast is seething somewhere inside ready to rear it's ugly cancer face.  My next appt is a follow up with my onc after next week, and I have to start taking Arimidex.  And I will see my rad onc in 6 weeks. But now I'm done.  I should be joyful especially with the holidays coming, but I'm scared sh%t.  This whole breast cancer journey has been so all consuming and overwhelming, and yet I have embraced the whole experience.  The what happens next is in my mind. And how can I deal with friends and family members who will see it as "well now your cured so get on with life"  I don't feel cured. I feel as if there is a little seed somewhere waiting to sprout either in my bones or liver , lung or brain.  I don't trust this breast cancer beast at all, and right now I am so very tired and warn out from all the treatment.  I don't feel like the person I was before it all.  I don't look like that person anymore.  Has anyone else gone