So Now What???

Anonymous

That's what I've been wondering the last few days.  I finished rads today and had my last treatment.  My rad treatment team presented me with a "graduation diploma" signed by everyone for me to frame  I wish I could be happy about this but I'm left feeling fearful now that treatment is over.  I've been on this whirlwind of Dr. appts for tests, surgeries, consultations, chemo rads, and I felt safe and taken care of during this nightmare.  Now I'm left with the fear of what if none if it "took" and that beast is seething somewhere inside ready to rear it's ugly cancer face.  My next appt is a follow up with my onc after next week, and I have to start taking Arimidex.  And I will see my rad onc in 6 weeks. But now I'm done.  I should be joyful especially with the holidays coming, but I'm scared sh%t.  This whole breast cancer journey has been so all consuming and overwhelming, and yet I have embraced the whole experience.  The what happens next is in my mind. And how can I deal with friends and family members who will see it as "well now your cured so get on with life"  I don't feel cured. I feel as if there is a little seed somewhere waiting to sprout either in my bones or liver , lung or brain.  I don't trust this breast cancer beast at all, and right now I am so very tired and warn out from all the treatment.  I don't feel like the person I was before it all.  I don't look like that person anymore.  Has anyone else gone

apple

you're done for now..

they'll still take care of you... my docs sure do.  it is their job to check and scan and make sure that everything is ok..

there are some excellent books out there to read that will help you move forward.  . so many perspectives and wells of advice. 

congratulations.. i hope you have some hair..

Anonymous

Awww thanks apple.  Yeah I do have hair.  It's gotten pretty thick.  I'm not used to the look though.  Just a little bit seems like alot after being bald for so long.

Anonymous

Awww thanks apple.  Yeah I do have hair.  It's gotten pretty thick.  I'm not used to the look though.  Just a little bit seems like alot after being bald for so long.