Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

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  • pclarky
    pclarky Member Posts: 37
    edited November 2009

    Rachel, I'm seconding, thirding etc. all those who send you affection and gratitude and support.  So sorry you are having a SF week.  You deserve better! And that goes for the rest of you too!

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited November 2009

    I watched the memorial service at Fort Hood yesterday with such a heavy heart. I cried my way through it and sent prayers to all those families.

    15 years ago I went through a huge life changing time and I needed help. I spent 2 1/2 years in therapy and on Paxil. I thank my therapist for my sanity and helping me get through a rather long situational depression. I came out of the other side wiser, more mature and more sane than I had been before. There were friends and family who didn't agree with my treatment but I trusted my gut and shrink and I am thrilled with the outcome. We have to take care of ourselves and use the correct tools to do it. It's not a sign of weakness to ask and receive help, it's a sign of strength.

    I saw this saying on this message board over a year ago and had a tattoo done on my forearm. The picture is of a weary Guardian Angel sitting on two BC ribbons. The saying is, "A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong."

    I am not a strong woman, I am a woman of strength. I am not a survivor, I am a Cancer A$$ Kicker...CAK for short!

    Linda

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited November 2009

    http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7lSliucgygc

    the title of this should have been "chemobrain" 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    quickies- 'cause everything is moving so fast!

    THANK YOU (more on that later)

    crazy UPS story (more on that later)

    got  my kid his first haircut (more on that later- FUN!) 

    More of what cancer sucks that we all deal with... not only needing to accept help, which most of us totally suck at, but the dealing with not being able to do for others what we want to do.  It would sound to most people as a non-problem, but is a serious mutterfooking set of problems. 

    You hit the nail on the head with what you mentioned, how Ft. Hood, mommies at war on Christmas, so many things that are worse than what most of us on this thread have to deal with- probably why none of the Stage IV gals took me up on my invite here- how that makes me feel like a wimp for bitching about my lawsuit or curbs on my language... and so another thing that has been bugging me since DX is how I have  had to reduce not only the caring I give to my friends, but also to the troops.  I haven't been in contact with my contacts really AT ALL.  My email to my Ft Hood pal in Iraq was like 3 sentences. You all know the drill, I dont have the time to do all the personal letters and getting to know them - which is really important and a gift!!!!! So I do the best I can, what HAS to be done and leave the niceties for I hope later.  Like the cookies are getting out.  kari and PattyB and the cookiecart kids are writing the cards that I would have- and that's actually BETTER because the troops will get more love from more people.

    Which brings me to veteran's day... I didn't even know today would be veteran's day.  I got nothing to do or show for veterans, didn't even think to stop by the firehouses, lots of vets there.  Didn't think to prepare anything to send ot the troops on my list, things I used to do.

    And then I got this email.   I have been waiting over a year for this email.  Bummer that its a mess... see, this is the sister of one of the firefighters we lost on 9/11. I heard her speak at the firefighter's 9/11 Mass on 9/11 a year or maybe 2 years ago.  She was amazing.  She said soemthing about how she was going to go ahead and live life because "evil hates that".  I asked her to give me the speech to send to the troops.  She meant to and she's the one who came up to me at this last 9/11 and thanked me for what we're doing for the troops in the name of the firefighters.  She's also really pretty.  She introduced me to her father and family and I felt good because I put a smile on their face that one day for one moment on 9/11.

    So now I am going to post her email, even though its a mess, because I know you will get the point she is trying to make, although I am editing out the word that the moderator asked me to, and I asked her again to make an exception for us, to let us police ourselves on this thread, because sometimes ...9/11... war... cancer... calls for some foul language.  

    I will also of course send it to the troops.

    So, for Veteran's day, for Andrew Brunn FDNY, for the troops and the firefighters, here's her message, unedited save for the expletive:

    Dear Soldiers,

     

      My name is Christina Brunn. I am ONLY a sister of a fallen firefighter on September 11, 2001. My brother was my world, he was who I came to model myself after. He was my older brother only by 2 years.  I was 25 when Sept 11th happened, when they murdered such good souls and when soon after the soldiers were to take the fight and avenge this. I was raised to know that the soldiers of the U.S are the “upper classmen” of this society. Without you and without the veterans I would not have the life I have. I love and admire each one of you.

      I wrote myself a letter on August 31st of this year, 2009, just a few months ago. Today I re-read it and decided to send what I wrote to you. It may be that this letter will be read by family members whose loved one was killed in this war or a soldier who is suffering now.  I am a very private person, but Rachel has asked me to write a letter to the soldiers and this is what I want to share with you…

    My life did not go on, but I am stronger now.  I am a completely different person, a very good person.  My soul has never let me settle and my brother Andrew forces me to be better than I was on September 10, 2001.  I promise you that I, Christina, (you don’t know me but I know the soldiers), I owe the soldiers for protecting me and avenging my brother’s murder. So read what I wrote and if some is too over the top for you just remember I’m hoping something reaches your heart. Know that I and my father stop any soldier we see, and talk to these soldiers with the highest regard.  My point of view comes from true suffering. 

    Thank you for protecting us. There has not been another event like  September 11th, I always fear that for others.  My brother Andrew Brunn was in the Air National Guard, a police officer, then Sergeant in NYPD, Communications NYPD, FIREMAN FOR  8WEEKS, all that in his only 28 years..

     

     What I wrote  8/31/09: 

     

     I am at work right now, I am a trader in New York City.  It’s funny, the job found me. I used to be math teacher, anyway I can feel everyone’s presence around me, and this is where I am going to begin my story and no idea what I will find in my soul as I do. I am very lonely and deeply sad today, it is Aug 31, 2009. I have been like this for almost 2 weeks. I am awaiting the memorial of September 11, 2001 when my brother Andrew Brunn was murdered. He was a fireman, Ladder 5 Engine 24.  I have walked through hell many times because of this.  I believe a human can't - or I can’t-  possibly feel all the pain of such an act.  It is too disturbing to my soul.  So I feel this pain in dosages... it’s like taking a needle of poison it goes thru your veins and you slowly feel the darkness, the raw evil, the loss of breath, you just want it to stop, but it does not. Here is where I get messed up.  I sit and the pain destroys part of me, it feels as though it is destroying me but that is illusion. What happens is my soul is getting burnt, with God’s permission if I trust the pain goes for a certain amount of time.  I kick and scream and eventually I turn into the person GOD NEEDS ME TO BE.  But lol (laugh out loud) it’s not so easy to be that person, when I feel the pain start to enter my skin. It has to just hit the surface a lot of times I panic and say ,"NO" not this time, NO I Don’t want to feel it, NO I DONT  want to be sad, depressed, lonely, I JUST WANT out....  I pull away and try to run.  I try the gym.  I just keep replaying things in my head,,,, but I don’t trust that I can be totally spiritual and let God fight what the evil is doing. I eat too much, some of us drink, take drugs, do something to escape our fears of feeling the pain this world has caused.  So how do I do it? How do I feel all this and walk through the fire, let the needle enter me and not become totally broken?

     

    Well #1 I will fail a lot, maybe you won’t but I did and do. Every day is a new day.  I will talk of the days I just can’t put things into perspective or trust and the days I do.

     

     WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRULY BE SUCCESSFUL?

     

     I know I am  33 and I know what people think is successful.  I  notice this world tends to make things that are right and good seem wrong and the things that are incorrect seem ok.  For example,  a person who does a job for A CALLING, a soldier or teacher,–although people think the job with the most money or least amount of work are the best job. Society will never show how a soldier or person of service is above the regular jobs.  Is society right?   No way..  Society’s role models are sports guys, and women who seem to look good and society gets lots of gossip. That is what society does and likes- but that does not mean that is correct..

     

    I say, to be a successful person is to truly know your soul and work to do the next right thing.

     

    People work on their looks, finances, health, sexual needs  but never work on their soul.

     

    I am angry at this time... due to let’s say my inability to make direct revenge against the radical Islamist’s that murdered my brother. Why do these other people think they are so great in this world??? I mean the vanity in friends, acquaintences, everyday life people????  I guess in my head I say why was a good man like my brother murdered and insignificant souls just running free near me and never sympathize or do much.  I get angry with the B.S of this world... America will always be in debt to my dad, me, and my sister in law for my brother’s service just like I am in debt to all the soldiers and veterans in America- all  of them.   How the hell can a spiritual person live with all this anger?

     

    ok I will break it down:::

     

    My role models are my dad and my brother, when I was younger my high school math teacher (a nun) and a woman named Linda Kramps, a mother of 5 who volunteered for other people who needed help.  My father is a godly man , my brother was a product of my father.

     

    I don’t know actors , models and sport pros. I do love movies and sports but that is just their job ,I don’t know what is in their souls.  I only know what they show to the world. So for me I can take them or leave them. I am searching for something I take to the end, something that is so profound that people who never help others only a few minutes before their death will they understand what it is I am speaking of... they will reach their maker and I am sure they will regret it all.... That is what we all should fear, not if we don’t look perfect or the other B.S. this world seems to find so damn important.  I am so sure on this.  I know how strong my soul is.  I suffer and battle my demons but I know my soul on its worst day could emotionally destroy what an evil person has, like a radical Islam, or a child abuser. I believe certain good souls are felt and people who know that they are not as strong will never admit to this. They will build up their earthly things, for that is all they can do.

     

    so when is their justice:::

     

      ahhhh NOT SURE but I am one pissed off person.  Sometimes I think these assholes that do the wrong things in life think we/good people are [farkin] weak.. well I will break this down,   god vs evil

     

      Evil is strong I do not underestimate its power, it can make me immobilized, destroy myself respect, rape my world. Evil has nothing to lose, it is fearless. Evil has nothing to worry about, it has one purpose: to destroy.  Good has everything to lose yet it still has the balls to walk into a fire, go to battle while their family is at home knowing they may never return. God wins he can destroy evil, it is about 10 times stronger.

     

       That is the end of my personal diary entry I wrote that day on 8/31/09.  I have met soldiers, ones who did not lose anyone on September 11, 2001 and still have sacrificed  themselves, I have met soldiers who had a family member killed and they joined the service. I admire YOU, and by YOU, YOU represent a soldier, you are above me. To have role models and to have people that you aim to be like is amazing. I have met all types of soldiers, sent packages to them in Iraq and Afghanistan, met delta force men, and I am totally humble in your presence.  I feel the power of your service to this great country. I pray for you and know I am always in debt to you all.

     

    Love Always,

     

     Christina Brunn… only the sister of Andrew Brunn (28yrsold)

    GOD Bless You… 

    (edited version of her letter) 

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  • covertanjou
    covertanjou Member Posts: 569
    edited November 2009

    Allie, Kookie, Patty: thank you for your kind wishes.  My DD is doing much better.  She slept most of the day yesterday, and by last night was almost back to normal.  She did not want to go to the dr, so I have made an appointment for her to see a gyne.  I think it may be tied to her ovulation.  We will see.

    Kookie, I hope your biopsy goes well!

    Meg ((((Hugs))).

    Linda, I love your saying!  

    kmmd, I laughed so loud watching the video.  

    Rachel, I have not known you long, but everyday I look forward  to coming to this thread that you started.  I look forward to your posts, and the stories you tell--I want more Rolling Stones stories!!-- and the women who come here. Take the AD.  You have been through a lot, and the AD will help you deal with everything.  

    Rachel, thank you for sharing Christina's message with us.  It is heartbreaking to reading about her brother.  I am at a loss for words.  

    Mary #2  

    Edited: I added the thanks to Rachel and Christina.  I was writing the first part of my post and didn't see Racel's post until after I posted mine. 

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited November 2009

    Rachel,

    All I can say is WOW. My heart still breaks for the devastation that occurred on September 11. My son was a senior in high school on that day and was signed up in the delayed entry program of the Marine Corps. His recruiter called him that day to see how he was reacting to it all. My son was told that if he was needed, as soon as he was 18, he'd be called to duty. My son was ready to go on September 11.

    Shane has been to Iraq, twice. Twice to a country where people wanted him dead, because he is an American. Twice, he took my heart and soul with him. More than twice, I waited for a knock at my door to be told my son was dead. I would stay away from my house some days, because I figured if "they" couldn't find me, they couldn't tell me.

    I am proud of my son and the thousands of men and women who fight to keep our country safe. My great-grandfather was in the Army, my father and grand-father were in the Navy, my niece, her husband and nephew were in the Air Force and my brother and brother-in-law are former Marines. I come from a long line of military "family."

    I sent many, many boxes to my son while he was overseas and to total strangers. I've packed boxes with Operation:MOM and Blue Star Moms. I use to fill Christmas stockings, send them to my son and tell him to give them to those who received nothing. He got to play Santa and make someone feel loved. Christmas cookie baking is a yearly occasion with my kids. While Shane was overseas, we baked him his favorite shaped cookies. I wrapped them individually, along with canned icing, sprinkles and tubes of icing to decorate with. The stories he tells of he and his fellow Marines, decorating Christmas cookies, such a simple thing we all take for granted, makes me cry every time.

    No act of kindness is too small. Think with your heart and be thankful for all of your blessings, large and not-so-large.  We all have our own personal H@llto live through, but we don't have to do it alone. Through this total B@tch we know as cancer we are all connected...

    Linda

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  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 779
    edited November 2009

    Hello to all.

    It is sooo hard to keep up with everyone! Such busy thread! Glad all sound pretty good.

    Rachel, do not forget about seasonal depression too. It is getting dark earlier, not as much sunshine!!!!!! But girl you are entitled to a bit of depression.  It is awesome that things seem to be working out for the cookies for the troops! YOU ROCK GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!

    Happy Veteran's Day, now evryone go out and thank a Vet!!! Support Applebees, because they are offer free dinner for all vets and active duty military, how cool is that! If only I lived closer to an Applebees both are an hour away! Oh Well, I can find a way to thank my vet later!!!HE HE HE!!!!

    Meg glad to see you post hope all is going well.

    Happy Hump Day, only two more days in the work week!!!!!!!!!

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited November 2009

    I have been trying to keep up with everything...my laptop is still in the shop.  :)

    Rachel, hang in there with the lawsuits, but don't let it make you crazy.  My dh has gone through two lawsuits - one employment related, the other estate related.  Difficult times... sometimes it is better to cut your loses and not pursue it, other times it is worth it.  Get the best information you can to make your decisions.

    Mary, not only is it Hump Day, but I got the day off!  I just got back from a hike and am going to get an early dinner, then go to a lumphedema support group meeting.   

    Ciao 

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  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited November 2009

    Before I forget, PattyB here is the link to the crab cake recipe (very good, served at many parties):

    http://www.crabcakeguy.com/queer-eye-for-the-straight-guy-crab-cakes/

    Meg and Rachel, glad you are riding in style together and understand what each other is going through.  You both ROCK in my opinion, I have a great amount of respect for both of you and I hope you find relief!!

    Gotta run, as I am supposed to be working!  but love you all!! 

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  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited November 2009

    Oh, crikey, no cursing??/  :)

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  • j414
    j414 Member Posts: 321
    edited November 2009

    I have a little post rad lymphodema and my oncologist told me to massage by breast counterclockwise for five minutes every day.   I also noticed that when I eat less salt (which isn't very often) the swelling goes down.

    Christina's letter is heartbreaking.

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    and now a little of the lighter side of stress- and a good commercial for Xanax...

    UPS today, I wanted to send an airbill so CookieCart could send back the cards.

    Logged in and tried to create the airbill, web site redesign, all the places to click had changed, my account was no longer stored blah blah, finally get all the information in and it says I didn't put my name in the spot.

    But I did.

    In fact it autofilled from my logging in to my account. 

    Round and round it goes to no avail.

    Call UPS.

    Spoke to brandon and told him the whole story

    Brandon transfers me to Michael and I tell him the whole story

    Michael transfers me to gloria i tell her the whole story

    gloria tells me that my account has been canceled, no idea why,  gives me the number for receivables.

    barbara in receivables tells me my account is canceled,  she does not offer more, and I continue, and the whole conversation goes this way so I will shorten it to the exchnge of information

    I discover that my account was canceled in July when a package I sent for $5.35 was delivered but for some reason my credit card company told ups there was a "no pay" or some such two word odd notation

    UPS did not tell me that this happened, they just delivered the package and canceled my account.

    She says I should call my bank and ask them about it.

    I can't imagine where I would start to ask about a $5.35 charge in July that didn't actually happen and I never saw any notice of it from either UPS or my bank card.

    I said gee would you like me to give you the $5.35 for the package you delivered?

    She said well we can make a one time courtesy charge to your credit card but you still couldn't use your account until tomorrow.

    Lemme get this straight, as a courtesy, you will let me pay you?

    Yes, and you only get one of those in your lifetime.

    Really?

    And I still can't send a package today on this account?

    Right.

    Do you have a supervisor?

    I am the supervisor.

    Really.

    So as a once in a life time courtesy you would let me pay you $5.35 today, and for that you will let me send a package tomorrow?

    And then i realized, if they don't want their $5.35, who am I to force them to take it?

    I hung up, opened a new account on UPS.com and created the airbill and sent it off to Cookiecart.

    Oh and btw, the account name "UPSSucks" is taken.  My new account name is similar.

    It took me at least an hour of phone calls!

    Just thought I'd share... ;) 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2009

    Hi, everyone.  Just want to scream . .. MY MOTHER F***N BOOB IS HURTING LIKE HELL!!!  I am finished with antibiotics and it is screaming with pain.  Still feels warm to touch and still having discharge.  Cannot wait to see doc on Friday - can't move it up to tomorrow, already tried.  What the hell is going on with this thing????  DH just brought me a warm compress and a HUGE glass of pinot noir (he's very well trained) to try and take the edge off.  Couldn't work out tonight - really bummed because I started back with my tae bo after 4 years and did really well the other night, want to keep it up.  Crap!!!!

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Chelev- I say, they're going to end up giving you stronger antibiotics.  Damn it sucks royal you can't get in earlier.  My RADs boob is still hot.  They couldn't give you any palliative care instructions to help until Friday?  Damn.

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  • AllieM22
    AllieM22 Member Posts: 464
    edited November 2009

    Ugh Chelev!!!! So sorry--that sounds miserable but at least your DH sounds like he is on the ball. Hope you get thru tomorrow ok and get good answers (and some more drugs) on Fri.

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    chelev, how does your boob skin look?  not for me- but take a photo for later comparison.

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  • Brendatrue
    Brendatrue Member Posts: 1,830
    edited November 2009

    Meg & Rachel--I am grateful that you are being open and real about your experiences with depression. I hope that your sharing and the support you receive will help you both as you cope with this challenging time in your lives. And to all the others who keep showing up here, I also am grateful for honesty, openness, and tolerance for each of our differences. When I am cranky and feel slighted by some comment or perceived judgment, I try to focus on the aspects of others that I have in common so that I can resist being crankier and more judgmental!

    And taking a bit of a risk here in being open and honest myself, I do find that at times I feel somewhat cranky and frustrated, and on occasion just downright angry, when others make really insensitive comments about people with advanced breast cancer. Sometimes these comments come from other women who are living beyond a breast cancer diagnosis, which is especially difficult to tolerate. (I want to emphasize right now that I am not directing my comments to anyone on this thread!) I was diagnosed with mets earlier this year, and I am fortunate enough to have NED status right now. I have been advised that my case is quite unusual, in part because I do not fit into easy categories (like those on this site--which makes choosing where to post downright confusing at times), which in itself makes my prognosis more unpredictable but also perhaps improved in comparison to others with mets. I am frequently reminded by my health providers that I will likely have signs of mets again, because they feel an obligation to remind me, although I should quickly add that my med onc is generally supportive and hopeful that aggressive treatment will extend my NED status for quite some time (whatever that means).

     I mention this in part because others will often say to me that they should not complain about this or that because they don't have it "as bad" as I do. (And Rachel, your recent comments have caused me to think about this a little more lately.) Well, I must say, each one of us has our own life to live and our own problems, stressors, hardships, etc., with which we struggle. Yes, it's often helpful to "keep things in perspective," and to be sensitive to others who have significant challenges, and it certainly helps us to cope with whatever challenges we face as well. I also will admit that at times I find myself (as mentioned above) cranky in response to another's concerns, which may seem trivial to me. That's when I try to remind myself of what I said above, which is that the concern is likely not trivial to them. I also have times when I minimize my own concerns because my disease is not as advanced as someone else's, and I try to recognize that particular slice of guilt and just send it away.

    For those of you still reading (and I apologize if it feels like rambling, and of course, I will blame it on chemobrain....), thanks for caring enough to do so. I also think one of the reasons that people challenged by more advanced breast cancer don't show up on certain threads is that we don't want to scare the hell out of others.  I'm sure that if I reread this later, I might be mortified--not by my honesty, but perhaps my difficulty sharing what I would like most to convey. But at least I tried, and I hope you all will understand. And that's one of the reasons that I keep showing up here: to be heard, understood, respected. I will do my best to hear, understand, and respect others as well. 

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  • kookiesmom
    kookiesmom Member Posts: 143
    edited November 2009

    Chelev - so sorry you are in pain!  Maybe go to ER if it gets worse - maybe they can start you on a different antibiotic fast. Sounds infected to me. Hope it calms down and you can sleep tonight.

    Rachel - Sounds like you had a great time trying to ship your stuff (NOT) with UPS - made me laugh though!  Sorry you are feeling so stressed out.  Take some of your Mothers Little Helpers - like the Stones said in one of their songs which I used to know but shucks I can't remember doodoo tonight. 

    I had my endometrail biospy today at 5:30.  Golly that hurt so bad!!!!!  It only lasted less than a minute but I will confess to anything if anyone ever suggests that test again. Who the heck (so lady like I know) ever decided that test could be done w/o any novacaine or at least a dag-gum valium & percocet should be shot!  Had to be a man I tell ya!  Now I wait up to 2 weeks for results but I am not worried about it.  I think my hormones just went apepoopy when I stopped the tamoxifen.

    Then I got home & talked to my brother who just got the call tonight that he has an aggressive melanoma on his back.  Gee That really stinks I told him (not really but ya know trying to keep it clean here).  He had prostate cancer 2 years ago and now this.   It is early stage melanoma so I am keeping positive vibes going. 

    What a crappy time we all seem to be having here this week.  Tomorrow is going to be better for us all - I think I'll take a mothers little helper tonight too.  Can someone please tell me the song that came from?  Remember lifes a bitch (girl dog) and then it has puppies or so it seems lately.  Gee whiz who needs swear words.  Golly I feel much better now thanks!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2009

    Mother's Little Helper is the title.

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Hey Brenda- as long as you want us, we're here for ya.  Your mets as as much fair game as benisse's asshole, and chelev's pus-y tit (Oh man its not easy trying to stay clean of speech when saying anything about SFBC!)  Feel free. Farking Cancer. I guess you know if I said anything that ever caused you one extra nanosecond of grief I am as sorry as sorry can be.  Just please feel welcome here. :)  Thank you for your beautiful post, I  hope you wont edit it!

    kookiesmom- that UPS thing was just for fun- its one of those times that you know I was so concerned with much more important things and was just not going to "go there"... and I think I'd be a little more liberal with Mother's Little's Helper (that IS the name of the song ;) ) if I had heard back from the ONC that he was sending along a new Rx... made it through today on a half of a pill, but really wanted to go to bed since 630pm.

    I truly got a boost from venting here- when I got to that part that cheered me up.  I let it.

    wtf is the deal with the painful endometrial biopsies?  I mean really, wtf?  Why do they feel this need to deprive us of simple appropriate anesthetics? Yes, we know it's lifesaving, that's why we're doing it, but that doesn't mean we have to be "fully present" for the experience?  Who does that help?  Man i am sorry. And its only ME the moderator asked nicely not to use ONE particular word, I didn't mean to make anyone else feel inhibited.  I shouldn't have said anything. It was just about that being the thing that I felt tipped me over the edge into the blues.  Could have been anything.   Everyone else is already doing everything correctly, don't change!  Just moi.

    Oy, "Gee Whiz"?  Like Betty and Veronica are going to show up? :P

    I gotta say- I did have some great fun today.  I took the kid for his first haircut- it was a HOOT and he looks great and everyone said how remarkably well behaved he is :):):)

    You know the deal, one foot after the other, forward.

    And whoever it was who's eating 85% Lindt Chocolate- I am doing the same  YEAH 

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  • Mom_of_boys
    Mom_of_boys Member Posts: 556
    edited November 2009
    Rachel... Your little ole Texas friend here.  Question for ya.  I know that Joseph Mullen is on some kind of religious hiatus.  Does he still take phone calls at the salon?  I'm going to see my own hairstylist this Friday.  He had said that he would give her the formula that he used on me.  Can you PM me his phone number, if so?
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  • kookiesmom
    kookiesmom Member Posts: 143
    edited November 2009

    Oh....of course that IS the name of the song.  Duuuh did I mention I am blonde?

    Hope you saved some of your boy's curls Rachel.  I still have both of my boys curls saved so I can have an awwww moment now & then.

    Smithlme -Your son is awesome.  So brave.  You must be so proud of him.

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    mary- good tip about applebees LOVE IT

    smithle- like kookie said your son and your bravery is awesome. You missed the part about my troop thing he he he... you will like it :)

    kookie- I got the curls in an envelope, is there some cool way to preserve them for him? 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    momofboys- no problem contacting Joseph, he'll be happy to hear from you by email, phone, whatever.  It's just a church class experiment, but business is excluded.  his web site JosephMullenColor.com

    he's just not supposed to be hanging out online socializing or watching TV. 

    I was there yesterday for my color and today for my kid's haircut. 

    Oh so exciting, your hair is growing so fast you have roots already, YAY!!!!!  

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  • Mom_of_boys
    Mom_of_boys Member Posts: 556
    edited November 2009

    Oh wow... your son got his hair cut at their salon?  Lucky, lucky boy! 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    pics coming.. maybe I go get it now out of the camera... hmmmm

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  • j414
    j414 Member Posts: 321
    edited November 2009

    Yes, Brenda - thank you for your beautiful post.  Early onset BC runs in my family and I saw all stages, one through four, up close and at a very young age. And stage IV is not the same disease as stages i-iii.  I'm astounded by the amount of misinformation and simple lack of understanding of this disease and generally convinced that most people just aren't bright enough to understand that BC is not a one-size-fits all disease.

    On a brighter note, my cousin sent me a video a while ago from a conference at MD Anderson (I think, I will look for it) and the woman speaking was diagnosed in the 1970s when she was 37 or 38, mets in her forties and NED for almost 20 years on tamox. Tamox is a powerful weapon and may it work as well for you for many, many years.

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited November 2009

    Rachel, news about your legal problems sucks real bad ....so sorry....(((hugs)))...don't give up. You can win this

    Chelev, sorry you are still in pain. Sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find the right antibiotic

    Today I went back to the naturopath. I do traditional medicine but figure it can't hurt to get a little more help. I just don't think I can do the totally organic vegan stuff - maybe a little but not all. It's too difficult and I'm too old to change that much. But I'll definitely try some of the suggestions.

    All this talk about T & A on this thread ... either they feel good or they try to kill us..........

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    kmmd that video is HILARIOUS!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7lSliucgygc 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    hrf- now there's a t-shirt that says it all: T&A either they feel good or they try to kill us

    perfect. 

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