Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

smithlme

www.cafepress.com has some great t-shirts, too...

benisse

That's hilarious that there's a study to see if women would like to be knocked out for their annuals.  Duh!!!  That would save me loads on drinks before the exam.  Just kidding although I do always schedule it for after lunch and have someone drive me so I can have a drinky.  I'm googling Brazilian Butt Lift now.  Although I'm not having any procedures below the belt until I find out the cause of the bleeding.  I called the onc and she is referring me to a GI doctor.  She said it will probably take a while to get in...a couple of weeks maybe.  In the meanwhile, she said try not to worry b/c it is most likely a fissure or hemehroid issue and to take colace every night.  Just like Rachel said.  Leggy - did you really?  There was pretty constant blood on the tp for me throughout chemo but on Sun am it was dripping into the bowl...looked like a lot.  I thought I had started my period which I haven't had since I started chemo.  I know this is way too much info. 

Mary22

I have a funny colonoscopy story to add. My uncle had to go for his, he did all the pre test stuff and pooped his brains out, well they could not do the test, because he was still full of it. Now we had all kinds of jokes about the fact that we alwyas knew he was full of sh^t. LOL.

I have yet to have that fun test.

Yes Rachel, on Saturday I pull an overnight job in home healthcare. It is fairly easy, I work with an elderly woman with Parkinson's. She needs someone w/ her 24/7. Of course I still work way way less than when I was working retail!!!!

Glad all the No Cal girls had a nice time. What city did you meet in. I still want to try to get out to visit my sister while she is still living out there. Her dh was booted out of the Air Force, for medical issues, caused by the Air Force. At least he had his 20 years in so he starts his pension right away. My sister has been looking for a job for about a year now. She has not worked a "real" job in almost 20 years. She has done alot of volunteer work, organizing and managing her son's pony league baseball.  She is hoping for a job at the BX on Travis AFB.

Well that was way off topic, sorry!!!!!! She is a nervous wreck about paying her bills.

You ladies are a very busy bunch, one day three pages. It is hard to keep up with everything.

I too asked for lipo w/ my ooph. I will try again if I have to have a mx, new boobs, new tummy, they can take fat from my gut and butt and then I will finally have DD. LOL

Rachel_BC

Just a selfish post- I just got the news from the judge.  I lost.  I don't even get a chance to go to court, I lost the chance to go to court, I lost the case, all my legal costs, all the years, my home is still a toxic nightmare and I have to do all the work to restore it- with the building continuing to stall my work- and I have to pay their legal fees.

It does make me sick.  But... I was praying for no cancer and got cancer, was praying for DCIS and got IDC, was praying for no chemo and I got that, was praying for clean margins and I got that, I didn't even know what to pray for for my cancer stats, and I got in just under the limit on OncotypeDX and you can see I was lucky with all the other cancer shit, my Tamoxiride is looking easy.  If I had to choose between these good SFBC stats and winning my suit, I'd sure have taken the good stats.  And my kid is healthy, and I have you guys, and I can appeal this court decision, and even then, if I lose the appeal as well, I won't starve and I'll still have the good-ish cancer stats and my healthy kid.

Life goes on.  For me.  I stand by my commitment in my sig line.  For those whose life doesn't get to go on, I promise to appreciate and be grateful for my good fortune.

but I think I am going to hit the Xanax tonight. 

smithlme

Rachel,

May I offer a big THAT's BS and your judge sucks A$$.

Yep, stay connected to the "good" cancer crap and continue to love your healthy kid. They grow up fast and before you know it...poof...they're married and have kids of their own. I adore my grand-babies, yet I yearn for the days when my 4 were small and life was about Play-doh, Sesame Street, Lego's and Winnie-the-Pooh.

My dad had a biopsy last week on a growth on his neck and we are all waiting for the results. He's had colon cancer and kidney cancer and he's the one who passed the BRCA 2 crap to us. I hate this merry-go-round my family is on and I want it to stop...

Linda

kfinnigan

sorry Rach but you have a great attitude, take the xanax fo sho! LInda is right, that judge sucks ass!

Leggy I hope you enjoyed your stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You be da bomb!!

Linda, hope your dad's biopsy comes out ok 

Anonymous

Are judges elected in NY or appointed?  

Has the building owner made any major campaign contributions?

covertanjou

Rachel!  How awful.

You do have a great attitude.  Take the Xanax, watch a sitcom or funny movie with your son, and enjoy his giggles.  

Linda, I hope you dad is ok.

Mary #2 

smithlme

Thanks for the good wishes. I come from a family of cancer A$$ kickers who live long lives, but I hate the thought that this genetic crap might be passed on to my kids and grand-kids. Only one of my kids wants to be tested, so far...

All I can say is SFBC...ah, H@ll...SFAC - Sh@t F@ck All Cancer!

Linda

Rachel_BC

Dear Judge,

My friends and I have come to a decision of our own.  You suck ass.  This would be much more useful if you could also do colonoscopies, but seeing as you can only suck ass in an unproductive effort, I find you a complete waste of my time.  And btw, you suck ass.  Have a nice day.

Yes, much more interested and concerned about Linda's Dad's biopsies, chelev's infected boobie, my cousin's dad's sarcoma (arm, amputated, re-excision last week), my friend's Stage IV tonsil cancer, and my son's health.

And I am pretty sure we're going to appeal, and maybe that will set things right.

THANK YOU for kind words gals.  But I say now, I ain't asking for prayers for this one, save it for the important stuff.  We'll be OK regardless of the idiots in my building and the judge who sucks ass.

More stuff I shouldn't say, but hey, I blame Xanax.  I had stocks and I sold them in 2007 when the Dow hit 14K.  So inasmuch as no one can have enough money at this moment in the economy, and all the dollars may be worth pennies soon, that said, this loss will not send my family into the street.  We may never get back in my home, but we'll be fine across the street where we have lived since 2005.

Oh and I LOVE the NED Dancers.  That was a cool convo- and a cool topic.  Bears repeating.  I think we might not have Stage IV posters on this thead- despite my invites, and I understand why they might not want to hang out here, but hell yes, I'm just dancing doing the NED Dance.  As long as I can.  I get to wake up and cuddle with my kid and my cat curled up together on my bed in the morning, I get to tumble around with him on the grass in the afternoon, and work out with him on my back at night, then watch him sleep in the video monitor all night.  The suck ass judge can't take that away from me.

I'm bound to be a little weird about this... but I swear to you it's NOTHING compared to the cancer shit.  Nada.  Poop.  

Fuck it. 

Rachel_BC

I am also surprised that you gals who did chemo (Leggy, benisse) didn't tell your ONCs about the bleeding.  I know I was wondering how i was going to tell my ONC about sexual issues, vaginal discharges and that sort of thing, but that's because his wife was my piano teacher since I was like 7 years old and he's a friend of the family... but I think I would tell him anyway- why suffer?  Doesn't help the ONC if you suffer needlessly.  I meant to say that I'd see an ass doc about the ass problems, I don't expect the ONC to have that expertise, but I'd send the ONC the report (should save you from having to tell the Dane about it Leggy).  I am just floored that while you're going through the hell of chemo, they know the whole story, but you were trapped in the politeness and privacy issues while you were suffering?

Well hell, you know if you'd known me then I would have pushed you to report it to your ONC and request help.

At some point in my research I did some that SOME breast cancers are related to colon cancers- no I don't have that link.  But then, there were some links to skin cancers too, and I only got that from my favorite SFBC books, it was never brought up by any of my ONCs or cancer docs, and it was completely dismissed by the idiot dermatologists I consulted.

You just HAVE to be your own advocate! 

LeggyJ

Allie, Lisa, Kari and Mary your all such beautiful women, and it was so much fun meeting you. We could have talked for hours more, without a break... Wish now you could have all stayed with me last night, but my friend Barbara showed up at about 6 and we ordered room service, burger/ fries, and pizza yummy...

LeggyJ

Benisse, yeah there was bright red blood in the toilet...sorry girls to be so graphic but shit happens.  So Benisse what else did the doctor tell you, and what is colace?  Rachel, I wish I had known you during chemo.  I had acid reflex and constipation so bad, during chemo..I was sleeping sitting up, for fear I'd vomit in my sleep.  When I went in for my next treatment I told the chemo. pharmacist, and he gave me a prescription called Raglan, but I started taking something off the counter, after that...For the flow.  But I never told them about the severe constipation, nor was I well enough to be on this website.  If only I had...

Rachel_BC

yeah it does occur to me that once in chemo its too much to be logging on here.   that's just completely fucked up.

I remember them telling me when they thought I would be doing chemo how they were going to monitor me and take care of my needs and all that during... what a load of shit.  One ONC I interviewed who told me all this was big time pregnant at the time.  When I got home it occurred to me that she'd be out delivering her baby while I as right in the shit of chemo.  She hadn't made any arrangements with another ONC, they hadn't gotten to know me at all previous.  I knew they'd change their whole attitude once I was out of street clothes and in treatment.  It took a lot of standing up for myself to ask for another Oncologist and they gave me a rash of shit, tried to make me feel bad for the poor oncologist! Meanwhile, the day my Oncotype and FISH tests came back she was the ONC listed for the results. When I called her office to  get the results her bitch phone answerin creature answered my call with "We have your results but you can't have them until 2 weeks from now because that's the first time the covering oncologist has time to talk to you- the oncologist I had seen was in the emergency room with a problem with her baby's delivery."  I asked if the baby was OK and the bitch wouldn't say.  Luckily, I had already put another oncologist's contact info on my release form, and got the results from him in the next call.  These oncologists are out of their fuckin minds.   

pkb143

Rachel, Rachel!!  that BITES in a major way. I'm so sorry the judgement didn't go your way. I do have to say, though, that SFBC seems to have made things "relative" for you, as in, compared to having cancer, how bad is this?  As in, things are bad but they could be so much worse. As in, I now know what's worth stewing about and what's not worth heating up the kitchen over. (The letter was a nice touch, though).

Girlfriends, tell your doctor EVERYTHING!! He needs to know what's going on with your body. If it's bothering you, it should be bothering him. My ONC is not someone I'm terribly comfortable with (have only seen him once before I started the Tamoxifen), but if there's something I can't tell him, I can sure give my GYN or GP an earful. 

LeggyJ

Your right, I should have said something, I even saw the GYN, after treatments, and didn't say anything, when he asked me if I was having problems with bowel movements.  I just thought well, not today....shit.

Rachel_BC

just a quick note to say NO I DID NOT LEARN THIS FROM SFBC! When my home burned, people asked why I wasn't more upset.  No one was hurt, it was just stuff, and although I think i had my priorities straight before 9/11, I sure as fuck had them right after.  I don't credit 9/11 with any epiphany either.  It's just stuff, its not my health.  With my health I can do anything, without it, nothing else matters.

I give SFBC no credit whatsoever, I am not one of those who got any new appreciation for my life from cancer.  And as my fave book says, (Five Lessons I Didn't Learn from Breast Cancer), she polled all her SFBC friends, who she adores I am sure as much as I adore all of you... and everyone of them, given the choice of not knowing these great people and not getting SFBC, all agreed they'd give up the friends.

But... as long as I have to have SFBC, well, at least I got you guys  Not bad considering! 

Rachel_BC

oh and compared to the screwing Mary just described happening to her brother in law, still feel like I am lucky!  MIne was only 6 years, I just lost money and that much time being betrayed by my neighbors, he spent 20 risking his life and suffering medically being betrayed by the military he served.

I am sorry about that Mary. ARGH! 

pkb143

Rachel, well, OK, then!!  

Leggy, hindsight (pun intended) is 20/20.  

Brendatrue

Rach--Sorry to hear about the court case; glad you have found a way to "keep it in perspective," but it still is very disappointing, I'm sure. By the way, I loved the t-shirt you posted. And Linda--Your sense of humor is amazing! Thanks for the laughs! And I hope your dad will get good results. I understand about the family merry-go-round....  Kari--Thanks for the pics of your get-together. I'm sure that Ainm and I will be even more envious now. Benisse--I hope you get some answers and peace of mind--soon. Good night to all.

AllieM22

Oh Rachel--so sorry. Sounds like you can appeal but what the #$%!!!    

Yeah, I always got a bad feeling from "oh I have to thank cancer for XYZ." I guess if one was a total sh*t of a human being before BC and Mother Teresa afterwards that that might be an exception....

Yes ladies--pls tell your drs everything!! There are some connections that you may not know about. If they don't like your choices, then deal with that but it always scares me when people say they stopped taking their meds and didn't tell their drs, etc....yikes.

Leggy, sorry about your bum. 

j414

Rachel, I'm sorry about the apartment - NYC Coop and Condo boards are notoriously moronic. You got it right - your health, your son's health - that's what's important and with that you will always be happy. Everything else is negotiable.    

Women with BRCA mutations may be at an increased risk for colon cancer. http://health.yahoo.com/breastcancer-diagnosis/breast-cancer-brca-gene-test/healthwise--tu6462.html  

Smithlme, I hope your dad is okay. Colon and kidney cancer - damn, he needs a break.  

Loved the pictures from the NorCal party! 

Leggy, you are lucky to live in Napa - it's so beautiful! My friend spent some time there a couple of years back and he fell in love with winemaking and all that it entails. He recently quit his "corporate" job to become a sommelier at a trendy NYC restaurant - he has dreams of being the next Jess Jackson (of kendall jackson).

I went to my oncologist today (I really like him) and took tumormarkers and the CYP2D6 test.  Granted, I am a child when it comes to taking a blood test, but shouldn't the phlebotomist know how to find a vein??? I have only one small vein in the crook of my arm - i'm otherwise hand and arm veinless.  This gal did not go for the crook, she stuck me in my arm in (what she called) a "tiny vein". It took about 5 minutes to get 3 tubes and it really hurt. During my utter discomfort she confided that her sister passed in the WTC attack, so then I couldn't yell and had to pretend I wasn't in pain.  

Have a great night everyone, sleep well!

hrf

Rachel, sorry about all the legal and financial issues. It's true that shit happens again and again and again.

smithlme

Sucks Ass and douche bag are my new favs this week. Next week, who knows? Depends who pisses me off!

Our specific gene mutation, R2520X (7786C>Y), it even has an f-ing name, is also linked to ovarian, throat, skin, pancreatic, male breast and prostrate cancers. I read an article last week that liked colon cancer to BRCA2 and quickly sent a panicky email to my geneticist. She reassured me that originally it was thought to be linked to colon cancer but not any more. Well then....where did my dad's colon cancer come from, I asked. Perhaps our poor diets or environmental issues. Gee...thanks.

It's bad enough to wait for my test results and it really sucks to wait for someone else's...

Linda

BooBee

My sweet, sweet Rachel....I'm so sorry.  That's a lot of time and hard work over these past few years.  I'm sure that was a big disappointment.  You have an amazing attitude.

I've seen you help so many people in the 6 months I've gotten to know you.  Even though you didn't do chemo you were there helping when you could, even with our hair regrowth.  I've often spotted you floating around random sites handing out your large reserve of resources. 

And then there are the cookies and the t-shirts for our troops.....and......I could go on and on.

You are so loved as you can see from your following on this thread.   I wish I was close enough to take you out for a big glass of wine or three.

BooBee

Does anyone remember seeing an anti consipation schedule of meds to take prior to chemo and surgeries?  It was more for pre chemo but I have "issues" when I have surgeries so I'd like to prepare prior to my recon. I've searched high and low on this site and I can't find it.

It went something like this.  Three days prior take ?.  Two days prior take ?.  You get the idea.  It may have come from the cancer centers nutritionist.

I discovered it on my sixth and final chemo and it made a huge difference. 

benisse

I'm sorry too Rachel.  Love your judge letter.  I think if we pray for anyone it should be him.  Good luck on an appeal.  I bet you always did have your priorities straight.  Your kid is SO cute.

I told my onc about the bleeding the first time it happened...right after starting chemo.  She put me on an antibiotic for 7 days, told me to take miralax or colace and said to let her know if it ever got worse.  But, I was WAY too shy, polite with her on the whole.  I regret that.

Leggy - Colace is a stool softener.  Senakot-S (not Senakot) is a laxative and stool softener.  That's what I took tonight.  I have had some dark stools lately too, so she said it may be an ulcer but is most likely a fissure (tear) or hemohroids (sp???).  I take caltrate (calcium supplement) because I'm on high doses of two thyroid meds which deplete calcium.  She thought that might be causing stomach problems.  I'm going to read about that now.  She said to take a stool softener every night and the GI would call me soon to schedule me for an appt and would likely want to do some tests.  The bleeding has stopped now though. 

BooBee

Did anyone see the new heading for Stage IV threads.  I think it's a great idea.  It'll hopefully prevent some hurt feelings.

Rachel_BC

Yeah I saw that and thought it was great

GramE

Hey everyone.  Hugs and sorry for PITA (pain in the Ass), both people and in the body.   Rachel, right is right - -  and you were wronged.  Good luck with the appeal.  

My first grand baby is a girl, due in March. And I think the name Olivia is at the top of the list for now.   I had only one son, so this will be a new experience with dolls, hair barrettes, and all the girl things - nail polish, etc.   But I am jumping ahead.   

Hugs,  Nancy