I need a mentor

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited October 2009

    Welcome to our heart-to-heart conversation Indomitable.

    We are so glad to have you join us. We may not be one of the most active threads, but are hearts are big -- our faith sincere -- and our willingness to "listen" dependable.

    Held, just want you to know that I'm thinking of you.

    We're going to Saint's home tomorrow. OH HAPPY DAY.

    We will consider all of the issues of our little thread & laugh much.

    Hugs all around.

    EWB. Thinking of you..... I have been looking & looking & looking & looking for a license plate to photograph -- of your initials. I can't believe how long it's taking me to find one. I've found dozens of EBW's and I always get excited for a heartbeat. LOLOL.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited November 2009

    Faith- you are a sweetie! Please pass on a hug or two to Saint for me.

    Held- been thinking of you, hope all is well.

    Indie - I see by your tag line that this is pretty new for you, are you doing ok?

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  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited November 2009

    Hugs EWB----doing a bit better today!

    Held---let us know what's up pleez.....

    Be well & stay strong 

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited November 2009

    Yeah for Saint!

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  • mejustme09
    mejustme09 Member Posts: 57
    edited November 2009

     The Bible tells us:

    James 1:13

    13 When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.  

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  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited November 2009

    so VERY true kim.........

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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited November 2009

    So, are you guys going to stick up for me when they try to fire me for spending an hour reading this thread instead of working?  How awesome it is to see smart, brave women discuss such intimate and deep issues.  I would love to be a part of it!  I just had my first year anniversary, and am feeling good, but last year was horrible.  I had such a hard time reaching out to God, but He got me through.  I sometimes worry that I would not be able to stand it if, for example, something happened to one of my children or my grandchildren.  Would I still turn to God?  I am not sure.  Just thinking out loud.  in sisterhood, xo

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Love, welcome to our little thread.... Held will be so tickled when she gets back & sees all this activity!! Yes we will give your boss a note -- why we need your presence here.



    Kimberly.... I'm on my phone, hurtling thru IN. Welcome...or welcome back. Which ever is accurate. LOL!! I think the verse you shared will bring our founder some peace.



    Saint.... So glad the steroids have given you a boost. The shooting star this morning was such a glorious gift. It was meant for your assurance.



    Elaine. Still no luck on the license plate....so silly, but I think of you while I search.



    I totally believe our Creator wishes us wellness & whleness... And gives us as gifts to one another, in the midst of our earthly challenges.



    Held. We're having a party!!!



    Hugs mentors one and all!

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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009

    Hmmmmmm  where to begin..... LOL!!!  I am going to get so confused!  I have to bounce back and forth to figure out who I am talking to!!!

    I am amazed at how well I survived my anniversary.  No major mental meltdowns.... Spent time with the girls, kept busy...

    Now on to real business - welcome to everyone - thanks for joining us! Smile

    Love - sit down, read a while - I am right there with ya! Excuse notes written as needed!

    mejustme - very intersting... especially since all those well meaning people say stuff like "God is testing your faith by giving you cancer (or letting a drunk driver kill your sister or whatever)" that makes my head want to explode.  Why have I not heard that before?  Perhaps I was not listening. 

    Saint  - I am totally lost - Steroids? Forgive me.

    EWB - Where in NJ do you live?

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  • Pepperhargrove
    Pepperhargrove Member Posts: 20
    edited November 2009

    Malachi 4:2

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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009

    I really, really, really don't want to hurt your feelings pepper, but that really frustrates me.  I did look up the verse, and I read it several times.   I read it and thought:  "I DO fear the Lord, why was I NOT healed?????"

    Then I happen to notice a "study guide" version that stated the verse was in relation to God's grace healing the church.  If I could manage my cut and paste, I would do that.....my computer skills aside, I think if I had not noticed that study guide note, I would have been really aggitated. 

    Mentors - do you understand what I am saying?

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  • Indomitable1
    Indomitable1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2009

    I'm not a mentor, but I get it. I attended a church that had a membership that complained when a preacher "auditioning" for the Pastor position taught I Corinthians 4:13 . Instead of using the I can do all things as I can do all things that I want to do, want to get, and want to accomplish for me, he focused on the both to be abased and abound in ANY state we're in and gave the example of his daughter's serious illness and death. He concentrated on how God thru His grace and mercy, provided his family with the strength, patience (tried but patient), and peace to get thru the ordeal in His faithfulness.

    Until then, I, too had counted on the the 'grant my wish' God  and worshipped His might and power and riches. I thought if I followed the formula/precepts, He would bless me in the way I wanted to be blessed. I was often frustrated. I have since grown to a point that I believe that it is not about me. God has a plan for each of us which is bigger than any one life.  I still want to be fully healed without recurrence, but I know that God is my strength and source no matter what. Even Jesus asked if the cup could be taken from Him. When it wasn't, he was equipped and able to endure to fulfill the prophecies and become our Saviour.  So, when I find myself wondering why the cup couldn't be taken from Stephanie, I am consoled in knowing that she knew that God is able and ask Him to help my unbelief.  

     We must look at the verses in context and realize that His ways are not always fathomable to us. But we must trust.

     Does that make sense?

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  • Indomitable1
    Indomitable1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2009

    I'm not a mentor, but I get it. I attended a church that had a membership that complained when a preacher "auditioning" for the Pastor position taught I Corinthians 4:13 . Instead of using the I can do all things as I can do all things that I want to do, want to get, and want to accomplish for me, he focused on the both to be abased and abound in ANY state we're in and gave the example of his daughter's serious illness and death. He concentrated on how God thru His grace and mercy, provided his family with the strength, patience (tried but patient), and peace to get thru the ordeal in His faithfulness.

    Until then, I, too had counted on the the 'grant my wish' God  and worshipped His might and power and riches. I thought if I followed the formula/precepts, He would bless me in the way I wanted to be blessed. I was often frustrated. I have since grown to a point that I believe that it is not about me. God has a plan for each of us which is bigger than any one life.  I still want to be fully healed without recurrence, but I know that God is my strength and source no matter what. Even Jesus asked if the cup could be taken from Him. When it wasn't, he was equipped and able to endure to fulfill the prophecies and become our Saviour.  So, when I find myself wondering why the cup couldn't be taken from Stephanie, I am consoled in knowing that she knew that God is able and ask Him to help my unbelief.  

     We must look at the verses in context and realize that His ways are not always fathomable to us. But we must trust.

     Does that make sense?

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  • Indomitable1
    Indomitable1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2009

    I'm not a mentor, but I get it. I attended a church that had a membership that complained when a preacher "auditioning" for the Pastor position taught I Corinthians 4:13 . Instead of using the I can do all things as I can do all things that I want to do, want to get, and want to accomplish for me, he focused on the both to be abased and abound in ANY state we're in and gave the example of his daughter's serious illness and death. He concentrated on how God thru His grace and mercy, provided his family with the strength, patience (tried but patient), and peace to get thru the ordeal in His faithfulness.

    Until then, I, too had counted on the the 'grant my wish' God  and worshipped His might and power and riches. I thought if I followed the formula/precepts, He would bless me in the way I wanted to be blessed. I was often frustrated. I have since grown to a point that I believe that it is not about me. God has a plan for each of us which is bigger than any one life.  I still want to be fully healed without recurrence, but I know that God is my strength and source no matter what. Even Jesus asked if the cup could be taken from Him. When it wasn't, he was equipped and able to endure to fulfill the prophecies and become our Saviour.  So, when I find myself wondering why the cup couldn't be taken from Stephanie, I am consoled in knowing that she knew that God is able and ask Him to help my unbelief.  

     We must look at the verses in context and realize that His ways are not always fathomable to us. But we must trust.

     Does that make sense?

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  • Indomitable1
    Indomitable1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2009

    As I said, I'm not a mentor-Correcting above referenced scripture verse to Phillipians 4:13!

    Not sure if it was being up past my bedtime (I wake up at 4:30 am everyday), chemobrain or the pretreatment steroids prior to my LAST round of chemo today! (YEA!!)  Forgive me. 

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Indie. You are soooooooo gonna fit right into our little thread. Your lovely response above qualifies you as a bona-fide mentor & your t-shirt will be arriving in the mail shortly.

    I remember being a camp counselor at church camp and our pastor-of-the-week challenged us not to be "Santa Claus Christians" expecting our prayers to be answered in the manner of inserting a shiny coin into a gumball machine.

    It is when the chips are down that our relationship to our Creator is put to the real test.

    Those who have gumball relationships, have their worlds rocked to the core.... not only are they going thru hell-on-earth, but how could this happen to them???

    Another very dear pastor always used as his sign-off: "We know not what the future holds, but we know who holds the future." His wife died of cancer. All the prayers of a devout congregation did not change that outcome. I believe that the prayers 'changed' the process of her dying.

    Welcome aboard. Congrats on your last round of chemo today. Big hugs.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    I am off to the hospital this morning to visit my actual, real-life mentor. She was in a serious car accident a week ago. She is a movement & dance specialist and has not been out of bed in this first week. She travels the world sharing her joy & experiences. All of that came screetching to a halt when she was broadsided by a truck on her way home.

    She will teach me much about her faith as we visit.

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009
    Psalms 55:22 ' Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.'

    I just checked my email & our own Footie had sent this verse to me...... seems like it fits in here.
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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009
    Ouch Faith that hurt!  "Those who have gumball relationships, have their worlds rocked to the core.... not only are they going thru hell-on-earth, but how could this happen to them???"........... that last part sure sound like me - is the first part how you see me?
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  • mejustme09
    mejustme09 Member Posts: 57
    edited November 2009
    Psalms 34:17 They cried out, and GOD himself heard,And out of all their distresses he delivered them.18 GOD is near to those that are broken at heart;
    And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.     1 John 4:8 (abbreviated) God is love. A loving GOD would never give us diseases or kill us or do anything to hurt us. HE IS LOVE! PURE LOVE!  
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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Oh golly goodness, No NO no NO No Held......

    I wasn't in any way commenting on you at all. Not even in the remote slightest. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I was posting in response to Indomitable's brilliant post above. I was attempting to concur and agree with what she had posted -- or what I understood her to say. 

    My reflection was based on my own faith journey. At some point when life doesn't give you all the great goodies ya want, you have to come to grips with all the questions we've talked about over the past year. 

    How could a loving God allow my mentor to be crushed by this truck? 

    I too believe in the verses mejustme has posted above. I believe our Creator walks with us thru the sorrow, but I don't believe he throws us "tests" to see if we are devout. 

    So sorry my post hurt in any way. That was certainly not my intention. Not in the slightest. Couldn't be further from my heart or what I meant. Sorry I haven't explained myself well. 

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Now I just reread my post above and hope I haven't made a bigger mess of things.

    When I say 'you' in the above post -- I'm not talking about you/Held, but any person who must reconcile how bad things happen in their daily life. 

    There are people who do not receive the answer they desire from prayer -- and then the test is how they/we/us/you/people respond. 

    I'm not in any way trying to point a finger. None what so ever. 

    I have just posted for Saint. She is in a very difficult place. She has now developed a cold with a wretched cough. We could only speak for a few minutes. Everytime she attempted to talk she had a coughing fit. 

    I am very concerned for her -- if she is going to be cut off from phone support. 

    Held, I am attempting to reconcile her outright suffering. It is heart breaking. I believe that our Heavenly Father cares deeply about her present condition. I believe that He feels compassion. 

    I am working to figure out how to 'pray' meaningful prayers. 

    Again, I am so sorry that I have hurt you. That brings me to tears, to think that I have been so inadequate in my expression. 

    I am so sorry. 

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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009

    Faith,

    Please do not worry about me.  I must have been having a bit of a pitty party.  We did promise to be totally open, so at that moment, that is how I saw things.  I did not mean to make you cry.  I am very very sorry!  Please forgive me.

    Please update us on Saint and your friend.

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Oh sweet Held. There is no forgiveness needed from me. You have done nothing wrong.

    I am on the verge of tears at any given moment..... particularly now that Saint has this blasted cold -- on top of everything else. The telephone has been one of her major sources of support thru all of this, and I just can't stand that she can't talk comfortably.

    And my real-life mentor has had the hospital declare a 'no-visitors status'. I'm sure she was engulfed with so many visitors & so much love that it was exhausting. She would want to be the ones offering encouragement to others.

    My day yesterday was about feeling helpless. Then to think that what I had typed had upset you, was just the icing on the day.  

    I thought about deleating my post above that caused you the pain. Then this morning I thought that perhaps our interaction could serve as an example. An example of many things.

    Not the least of which, how difficult it is to make yourself be understood, in this format. Particularly when addressing matters of significance. Faith. Beliefs. If we were talking over muffins I would have realized how my words were so far off the mark and worked to clarify, immediately.

    What I wanted to express is that when my teen-ager ears heard those remarks from a pastor, I was confused. My life had been relatively train-wreck free at that point. So his thoughts were abrasive. It wasn't till years later, when my life went off the rails that I had a glimmer of what he was talking about.

    Bad things do indeed happen to good people. How do we respond? What role does faith play in our lives when the chips are down? What happens to our life of prayer when we do not get the outcome of our hopes.

    I have had more than a few opportunities to contemplate all of the above. Perhaps I have become more 'spiritual' and less 'religious' in the process. I know that I have become more tolerant.

    I left up the original post in the hopes that years from now, someone might stumble upon our interaction and realize that there is room for misinterpretation and forgiveness all around can follow. I only wish you well, Held, as you grapple with the important & significant questions. I wish you well.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009

    I hope I am not reading too much into your last 2 sentences.  You will be back, right?!?!?!?!?

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    Oh yeah.

    Not even my DH can get me to cut my addiction here. LOL.

    "God willing & the creek don't rise."

    (What my daddy always used to say.)

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  • Held
    Held Member Posts: 506
    edited November 2009

    LOL!  I love you!

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited November 2009

    The feeling's mutual.

    Love ya, girlfriend.

    Now I must at least 'pretend' to do some work.

    More LOL

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  • arnie2two
    arnie2two Member Posts: 1,215
    edited November 2009

    Can I join this group????  I haven't read all 25 pages but have read enough to know that I'd love to join in the ponderings...

    Held and others... I am 56 years of age.  My children are grown and even though they still love to make me feel "''needed"", I know they could make it on their own without me.  Why do I say that?  My cancer came at a time of life when yes, it would hurt my loved ones if I were to go, but I've pretty much done my job with my children....yes, I still counsel them when they ask, but they are walking their own roads now.  I'm soooooooooo compassionate towards the young women diagnosed with this disease with small children.  That has to be alot harder emotionally.  We're mother bears and we want to rear our children!!!  Anyway, I just wanted to let you brave, courageous young women to know I admire you!!!

    I also was mature in my faith when this dreaded disease came upon me.   I sometimes wonder how I would have reacted when I was younger with my walk with Christ.  I don't know.  A few years ago I had heart surgery to close a large hole in my heart.  I remember while being prepped the nurse said, "You are the calmest person I've ever prepped for this procedure"  My response was the I had pretty decent odds... I would either be able to continue on with a family and friends that I loved deeply, or I would be going to a Heavenly Father that I love deeply.  She just looked at me as if I were a nut case!!!  lol  But, I meant those words... there are sooooo many things in this life that are out of our hands... ans what better hands to put them in then our Heavenly Father's?

    The anniversary of my sweet sister's death is coming up in a couple of weeks.  Last year was tough, we went through hospice with three of the dearest people in our lives, all who were taken by different forms of cancer.   My father-in-law in March 2008, my brother-in-law in April 2008 and my dear sweet sister in November 2008.  They were all three such great examples to me!!!  Even though I miss them all daily, I can keep my joy and hope, because I will see them again.  My sis, on her deathbed said, "Janet, don't loose your joy!!!!"  I haven't.   I was diagnosed less than a month and a half after my sister's death.  On of my first thoughts was, "Though you slay me still shall I praise you".  Sooooooooo while they were prepping me for surgery the surgeon stuck his head in the door and said, "Janet it is cancer".  I looked into my dh and sister's eyes and saw their tears, and layed my head back on the bed and said, "Praise you Father".  They both looked at me and I shared with them how during my prayers and struggles with the Lord I had promised Him that I'd praise Him either way.  So I did.  Latter someone shared with me that they think praise is sweeter to His ears when we're in our darkest hour.  I liked that.  

    I have soooooo many favorite chapters and verses in the bible.  But, the one I chose as my "life" verse about 10 years back is;

    1 Thessalonians 5 16-18  (RSB) Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

    There are many nights when I go to bed saying, "Boy, Father I could have handled that situation better, you must be disappointed with me, I'm sorry"  Then it comes to me that is grace and mercy are new every morning and I have another opportunity to not mess up...lol

    I looking forward to reading all of your posts and putting my two cents in there once in awhile. 

    xoxox janet

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited November 2009

    I read a prayer (St Francis de Sales ?) once that went something like this:

    Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow. The same Everlasting God who cares for you today, will take care of you tomorrow and everyday. Either God will shield you from suffering or God will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imagings.

    Over the yrs, esp the past 3 yrs, I think this really explains it all to me, although it took me a while to "get it" and really understand the 3rd sentence. 

    So nice to see new faces, hi Arnie.

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  • Indomitable1
    Indomitable1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2009

    FaithandFifty & Held: Thanks for the ongoing, open, discourse. Faith, I understood your sentiments and intentions and appreciate the encourgament. I see now that I posted twice-most definitely the steroids! Held, I understood your original point. But, I also loved the "Santa Claus Christian" reference. Been there, done with that! Hoping to show my children about the deeper relationship referenced by everyone (faith, Held, arnie, mejustme09, and EWB).

    Yes, it is so true that these HUGE challenges bring out our faith walk and deepen our understanding, but I find it most challenging to let His light shine in the little irritations that pop up in my day to day walk.

    EWB-your prayer reminds me of Matthew 6:34
    Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. --with a much more positive spin!

    May God bless and comfort each of us as well as Saint and FaithandFifty's mentor.

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