please help

Thanks for all the good advice ladies.  To answer Barb's questions...I really doubt his kids are telling him to slow down.  They will some day get an inheritance..but it's from their wealthy mother. He is in between jobs. He has his internet business, but it has really slowed down, and he had a great job, but the company moved in April. So, when we met, he said he has about a 6 month window. Meaning that he is looking for a job, and if things went really well with us...he would look in my area vs his.  I am 3 hours West of him, with I might add...MUCH MORE job opportunities than his small community.  Anyhow..he was all excited about it, and if at the time, I said YES...he would have probably moved here.  Then he must have started thinking about it, and he is AFRAID of the change.  So...that is where we stand. I told him, I don't need anything permanent right now in my life...so time to get to know each other better and dating from a distance was fine with me.  He seemed almost relieved by my comments. That was Sunday night...never heard a word or text or email yesterday??? So far nothing today...and it's afternoon.  During the first few weeks...he called me all the time, text me, sent me sweet emails...etc. 

I talked to my g/f Kim.  Now I see why she doesn't want to even date.  It's sometimes so much easier not having anybody in my life.  But then I get lonely.  Well...like my wise daughter Danni said...don't rush anything......let it all happen MOM when it is supposed too.

Sue...glad you are feeling better about everything!

Sending some sunshine to Jane and Val...it's been beautiful here!

Leaving for Orlando and 89degree weather on Thursday!! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO

xoxo

Lisa

Ah, Lisa the kids can sometimes get in the act. Like Barb said, they may be acting out of selfishness.

When my mother died, my father waited about a year and then started "testing the waters" by having dinner with a few widows he knew. Eventually, he found a deep and lasting friendship with one. She was the widow of an old work friend of his...was the same age as my mom.   She was financially comfortable. They "dated" for over 15 years, until my father died last month.

We once asked him if he had any plans to marry Eileen, but he laughed and said, no, they couldn't afford it. He had seven children and she had eight. And with all the spouses and grandchildren, the reception would be more than they could afford.  And what with all the different kids moving back home for a bit, they'd never be able to get a big enough house. LOL.  

But, in all honesty, I will always wonder why they never did marry. Fifteen years is more than some real marriages last. My father said they liked their "separateness". They saw each other on the weekends, and in-between they had their own things to do and didn't have to worry about  making allowances for the other person in their life. It worked for them. 

Yes, Nancy...maybe that is what I will end up with some day, a relationship like your dad had.  But, no...I can tell you right now..I met 2 of Tony's children. They were very nice...and in fact his youngest Nicole....told me she really liked me..and told her dad to hang on to me!  They just want him to be happy.  I think he is struggling with himself more than anything right now.

Hi all you wonderful gals!  I am still worried about the calcifications, why oh why did that nitwit have to even mention it?

Sue, I bet the Tarot reader meant you would be VISITING in hospitals, not IN one.  Your dad, he is not that well, so that could well be what she saw, not you as a patient, but you as a visitor.

Otherwise I am just lonely, a lot.  I miss working, I miss my babies, I miss my mom.  Shoot, sounds like old fashioned depression to me! hahaha, oh well.

Love and hugs to all you lovies, Shirlann

Oh, Shirlann.  Here are some more hugs for you, hon!  ((((((((Shirlann))))))))

Love you!

Hugs,

Karen

(((((((((Shirlann)))))))))) - I hate that you have these worries and that you have to wait months to get the all-clear. I understand about missing your sons. I miss mine too!

Barbe - hugs to you too. How are you feeling? I miss you when you don't post.

Lisa - Tony has me stumped. I hope he comes to his senses.I know Danni is right but it's hard to endure this limbo he has caused.

Sue - how is your sore back? I hope you are able to relax and have some joyous moments during your time off.

EWB - I always appreciate your gentle wisdom.

Love to you all - and all the newbys as well.

Jane xoxox

Judie - sounds like a huge task you are involved in. What a bitter sweet labour it is.

Karen - your latest house pics show great progress. It will be so exciting to eventually move in!

Mel - praying for you and your ex SO. I hope he recovers soon. You are such an angel.

Hugs to Bill and Val. How long do you have to wait to get results back? Praying that all will be well.

Oh, Shirlann, how well I know lonely. I miss so very much and feel so alone. BUT, I have my cuddly, adorable irascible Jasper who takes the edge off everything. Snuggle up with some furkids when you get lonely. Not perfect, but it helps.

Jane, did anything get accomplished when your boys were there to "help"?

My baby boy has been accepted at University College London spring term! I'm terrified. I'm not ready for this. HELP!!! Sue, you need to take a holiday and spy on him!

Lisa, listen to your wise daughter. The right person is out there and will probably sneak up on you!

HaHaHa........oh Cathi, I do LOVE you!!! Bikini....NOT!! But thanks!! haha. I will bring my tankini! Looking forward to the hot weather and esp..to spend time with Olivia and Bre and Bre's mom Kaedra (she is flying with me) we all get along great..so it will be fun! And sharing the BC walk together along with some co-workers from Orlando!



Ok...about Tony....Barbe...his internett business has diminshed, because when he started it years ago..it's a DIAL -UP one. So..that is going by the wayside. I know he is struggling with many things and thoughts..and I am not in his shoes...so I sympathise.

The not calling, was because he went on a car trip with his friend...they drove some family members of his friend who are from Italy to the Newark airport yesterday. He called me last night..and said, sorry about not calling Monday night, but I thought you may have been in bed early (cause he thought I was starting early on Tues too). So...we talked...nothing serious...but it seemed like old chatter! So..all the wondering for nothing. Taking things the way I should have from the beinning...............SLOWLY! Thanks girls..you always give me good advice and make me feel better.



Cathi...I keep thinking about that mom and her 3 children. It makes me so sad. I really would like to do something special. If your daughter could get some information from the mom...does she do stockings for the kids??? If not...or if she feels she can't this year....I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT. I am cutting back on Christmas for my girls this year, 2 reasons..money and they are too old. I know they would love to be part of putting together 3 wonderful stockings for these children. Please let me know what you can find out. Likes of the kids etc. I really want to do this. Thanks sweetie!!

xoxo

Lisa

Oh man!!!!  I LOVE Coldwater Creek!  Lisa, I want to come with you!!!!

Dear Sueps,

I know what you are going through. I too felt like I had to have my cancer out immediately. I had to wait three months for my surgery, so I got chemo right away (two weeks later). You being shell shocked is something we can relate to as well. It is a stunner for sure. Take a deep breath. Use this time to get things together at home, at the job, and ready for the hospital. I too lost my mother, both sisters, my aunt who was my mom's twin, her daugher and my grandmother to breast and ovarian cancer. The one good thing in your corner right now is that chemo is better now, radiation is better, surgery is better. Do not think this is a death sentence for you. DO NOT commit suicide, but in truth, I thought of that too.
You are going to get through this. You are going to be alright.Believe in your power to heal. Also, look into getting your ovaries out too. I had a total hysterectomy, because I am BRCA 1 positive.
I doubt your surgeon is going to take out all your lymph glands. They take out a lot, but I have not heard all of them being taken out. Ask about that again and get clarification on this. Also, can you get a second opinion? You may like another doctor's approach better.
We are here for you. What happened to your family members does not mean it will happen to you too. I had to fight to keep all those demons away from my mind in order to heal.

Hugs and hugs.

Kimberly, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Praying that you don't have the gene. Many of us felt numb and in a fog at this time. I was in denial for weeks. Once you know all the facts and have a definite plan, it will get easier. As hrf said, there is alwasy lots of support and empathy here.

Kimberly, I did the double mastectomy but only for my sanity. It doesn't help anything else usually. The other breast was fine. But it meant no radiation therapy, which was very nice. You are in the vortex time. Everything is confusing, distorted, incomprehensible. Let us steady you for a while.

Judie