Starting Chemo February 2009?
Comments
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what?? no morning post from Kerry??? how will I start my day???
Hope everyone is doing well. Helen~ Congrats on making it through! Judy~ Hope Julia is feeling better. I really like the idea of a j-tube. The more of the GI tract that they can keep working, the better off she'll be!
I have a breast MRI today and am dreading it... Not because I'm worried, but because I'm sick, sick, sick of tests.
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good luck Michele.. Hopefully Kerry is doing something FUN.
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Hi
I'm off work today. Still in bed. My brain tells me all the things I should be doing, but all I want to do is lay in bed.I probably need to change my expectations for myself-set daily goals that are achieveable. Somehow get back into a routine that is realistic, balanced.maybe I'm dapressed. (Sigh) Any words of wisdom? -
no Cheryl... I don't have any. I tend to be an "all or nothing" kind of gal. Unfortunately, I end up frustrated with myself all too often. Whenever I feel really down (like lately
), I try to exercise MORE. That sometimes helps. {{hugs}} -
Hi, Hi - yep, forgot to post this morning. I had the School run (usually Angus takes her, but he had an early meeting) so I was rushed! The Puppy takes up so much time - she is more work than a baby. Minus 4 this morning....sunny and a balmy 6 right now....
Michele - hope it is done with and over with and you don't have to wait all weekend for results! It would do my head in being scanned this often.
Cheryl - no words of wisdom from me either. Maybe get a puppy?? Seriously though, do you think you might be depressed? Are you on a anti-depressent? May not hurt to try. Or therapy. You have come through too much to be wasting time not feeling yourself.
Anyhow, hope everyones weekend is wonderful!
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Cheryl I have been in the dumps also and I am considering getting my effexor rx filled. I know I am a better person when I am on them but weaning off of them is horrible. I have thrown myself into work lately but I am not so sure how long that will last.
My right side is fluid filled again
and I know that it is going to hurt to be drained...I am becoming a wimp.... -
Hello everyone.
Jaimie and Cheryl: I find it interesting that we are all feeling like this....my energy level, my motivation, and my mood swings have been in a downward spiral lately. I assume these feelings are somewhat normal, I mean we've been through alot. I thought maybe depression, but I don't think that's my problem....just lots of stress, and that feeling that I'm just waiting for something to happen....My biggest problem physically right now is fatigue, I am soooo tired all the time.
Michele: Hope your MRI went well, and that your results are fast and good! You have had a lot of tests, I'm sure you are sick of them....will this be it for a while?
I worked today for the first time since last month, when the dizziness began. I figured we need the money, and I am not dizzy anymore, so back I went. I subbed for 1st grade. I was really tired by the end of the day. 22 five/six year olds can really wear you out!
My onc wants to test my thyroid, I was supposed to get my blood test today, but didn't since I worked. She is trying to figure out why I had the dizziness....not sure how the thyroid figures in...
Has anyone gotten the swine flu vaccine (or is it even available yet)? I'm thinking Julia should get one for sure... they gave her the flu shot last week, but didn't mention the swine flu one, which makes me think they aren't available yet. In her condition, it seems she should really get one.
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The MRI today was a pre-op one for my mastectomy. If there's nothing *going on* then I can opt out of the SNB. It didn't get done till late (long story about my horrid veins... culminating in having to get a cath put in under ultrasound...) so it won't be read till Monday. I'm following Kerry's lead in that I don't have to worry if it hasn't been read! My *regular* brain MRI and PET scan isn't till Dec (those are every 12 weeks). And, yes, all of this scanning is messing with my head but I don't want give them up!
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Jaimie, you are not a wimp! Seromas are the pits. When will you get it drained again??
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Michele - Ohh, I just read on Facebook what happened with your veins. Ouch. They always have trouble finding one on me after Chemo, but they always get in. That sounds just awful - going through that then having to get the jolly MRI....no fun. So, I am assuming it was a breast MRI?? Relax about the results - if mine was clean after the amount of s**t they cut out of me, yours will be spotless! When is your Surgery date again?? Are you getting nervous, or are you feeling more relieved? I asked my Surgeon about getting my other boob off - she said my biggest worry was the cancer I already had, rather than a new one, and my ooph and Arimidex should theoretically lower the risk of a new primary. I am still thinking about it though, haven't ruled it out......
OK - my Mental Health advice of the day - if you are feeling depressed, take something!! If you had a headache, you would take Tylenol. Really. Life is too short to waste time feeling down.
Jaimie - ohhh, sorry about the draining...you are a juicy girl! And, no, not a wimp....
Judy - Sounds like a busy day! I am helping out in Jacks kindergarten class twice a week now, just afternoons, and I am so busy! Seriously, I never stop, they always need help with something. No wonder you are exhausted. Also with the thyroid - I have read a lot of BC patients have thyroid problems, possibly your Onc is just ruling that out...?
Anyhow, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Think we are going to decorate the house for Halloween today. I can't believe how cold it is....
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Kerry, I am getting nervous about the mastectomy. But, since my 1st primary was ER- and there was a 2nd primary in that breast... there's no telling what this breast will do. I just need to have it pff for piece of mind. However, I'd be lying if I said that the idea of being breastless wasn't bugging me. ESPECIALLY with the issues you and I talked about before. I've been feeling really sad lately and my self-esteem is cruddy. Been going to my therapist more and calling in sick to work when possible. (Staying home with Maggie always lifts my spirits!!!) xxoo
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i think people always deflate a little in the fall.. the sun fades, the color dissappears, we are faced with the cold of winter. i don't know about everyone else's locale, but around here, we've had 3 wks of clouds.. 20 degrees below normal.
praying of course for you all. i am busy as can be. enjoying my strength coming back, particularly in the piano/organ arena.. i'm getting really good with my feet.. at least i can play all the notes now, without mistakes.
i have a new director.. i am totally in love with this kid. he's an extraordinary genius.. a super organist.. he is studying with one of the 'masters' in this country and will definitely be at the top of his heap. we kind of look alike with our hairstyles and quick, lithe movements. i get free organ lessons to boot.
i have a doc app't coming up at the beginning of Nov. Of course, every little ache and pain is assumed to be cancer. shudder. i feel good tho... i have been enjoying strong green tea during the day. it seems to give me so much energy.
my kids are pretty fun .. i think they had the swine flu (or else one kickass type A flu).. i didn't get sick at all.
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Michele~ Did you have 2 primaries ?? I had DCIS
with my IDC. Apple~ Thrilled that you are feeling so great.
I have to say you ladies are right being breastless isn't so bad. I do not want to do it for the next 50+ years but it isn't the worst thing.
I am still dizzy.....well I wouldn't call it dizzy it's like I have taken a painpill on and off. My doctor's say my ears are fine but I have sinus fluid causing the pressure and odd feeling
Did I mention I hate BC....makes my mind wander.Oh an other new if you have HER2 breast cancer they are starting a new trial. Info. about it in the HER2 thread on breastcancer.org Not sure if I am going to look into it but what's another year...hehe..
I deleted what I did about my niece because it didn't come out right. I am only sad because it's one more thing to worry about. I know she is going to be a great Mom
Now stay put baby boy.....aka~ Noname -
I'm feeling ratty and depressed, too. I'm still having trouble with vertigo along with aches and pains that are from physical therapy (and age, haha!), but of course every twinge makes me wonder if The Beast is back.
Husband and Son want to go to a family gathering in December, and I don't. They act all offended that I don't want to go, but dang, just thinking of all the possible problems during the trip makes me want to hide under the bed for about a year.
I love you ladies!!
Artemis -
Good morning!
Artemis - I am always happy to see your posts! My gut feeling with the trip is if you don't want to go, you have earned the right not to. Can they go without you? I am not a big fan of family gatherings either, especially as it is always In-laws for me!
Apple - you sound so happy and content. I'm so happy for you! I wish we could all fly down to Kansas and listen to you play.
Jaimie - Hope the dizziness goes away soon. Yep, the whole breastless thing isn't as bad as you would think., I actually forget that it has gone until i go to bed, and take off my bra. There could be worse things chopped off...
Went to a friends house yesterday afternoon for her birthday, I had two glasses of wine and we were home by 8:30 - this morning I feel like I had a night on the town last night! LOL - my new reality!
Hope a good weekend is being had by all!
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i don't mind being breastless and actually have one dinky one. (what the husband sees in it i do not know)
it's kind of funny.. we have a big church event coming up, an auction party and my husband said 'why don't you buy a big bra and stuff them both?" "there's nothing like a little woman with big breasts".
heh
i'm glad he can speak freely with me. i wonder if he knows that that is that last thing i'd ever do in my life.
It reminds me of when i went to my 20th high school reunion. My first son had just been born 3 weeks before the event. I wore my old prom dress.. hemmed it up and i was definitely a B when i left the house. By later that evening I was definitely a D cup... the guys would come up to me .. look straight at my chest.. and say "Oh my gosh, Mary, you look fantastic." i forget how very important boobs are to dudes. I've never thought much about them, one way or another, yet sympathize totally with women who miss them or will miss them.
just thinking outloud.
Diagnosis: 5/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIc, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER+
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Kerry ~ *hugs* Thank you, thank you, thank you! Mr. Artemis and I talked while ago. I told him my concerns, and it turns out that he's been thinking that it's best for me to stay home. He and Son will go, and I feel so relieved. He's really ok with it. He admitted that at first he was a bit upset that I thought I shouldn't go, but thinking about it for a few days has changed his mind. Yay!!!
Jamie ~ It truly isn't horrible to be breastless. I was certain that I'd lose my mind; I wept and wailed and carried on for weeks before my surgery ("The only decent part of my body WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"), but once it was done, that was it. I'm not saying that I haven't shed a tear or two, and sometimes I forget for a second that they're not there. But, overall, I'm dealing a gazillion times better than I thought I would.
Whew, Kerry! Two glasses of wine and staying out til 8:30! My my, you do live on the edge, don't you?
apple ~ that's hilarious about your expanding boobage at your reunion. Thanks so much for your funny stories.Hugs to all,
Artemis -
Ok, I am officially depressed now.....none of my work pants from last year fit me, and I have to work tomorrow.....I can't believe this, I've never strayed from a constant weight before chemo, and now I can't lose the weight I've gained since chemo. Of course, I lost a lot of weight when Julia got sick a couple of years ago, down to a weight I haven't seen since I was a teen. So it's not that I'm overweight for my height, just for my clothes, lol.
So far I've only worked on Fridays, which are jean days. *sigh* I can't afford a new wardrobe right now. This sucks. Time to lose 5lbs, wish me luck
I have to run right now, but will be back later to catch up on posts.
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Apple: that's funny....same thing happened to me, it was my 5 year reunion, I had just had Julia....I was so engorged and leaky by the end of the night!
Artemis & Jaimie: isn't it weird that we all have problems with dizziness/vertigo? Mine did calm down quite a bit. Just lightheaded here and there now. I wonder what it is that causes it?
Kerry: I'm with ya on the drinking....I just feel like crap the next day, it's not worth it right now. Maybe next year when I have more energy (fingers crossed on that one)
I took another subbing job with 1st graders for tomorrow....at least now I will be aware of my mistakes from Friday, and it won't happen again. (my chemo brain wasn't working, they were doing a craft project, and long story short, they were late getting out) Hopefully no parents complain to the principal. I was racing the poor little things out the door, lol
Hugs to everyone.
Judy
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Judy - hope it goes well today. I've got an extra couple of pounds around my middle too - not many - I can still fit all my clothes, but I certainly have more of a "tummy" than I used to. Think it is menopause....Yep, it is certainly hard getting a class full of little ones tidied up and organised! Jacks teacher always gets them all cleaned up about 1/2 hour before finish, then they have Circle and Stories before home time. I don't even know how she does it in winter with all the snowsuits. I cannot imagine anyone complaining about you - I bet you are a fantastic teacher!
Artemis - so happy you and hubby managed to talk it out. I am very aware now of not doing things I feel obligated to do, that I really don't want to do.
Had a lovely aftrnoon at our local park yesterday, the Fall colours are just beautiful! Think the week is going to be a bit warmer, but wet....just hoping Halloween isn't too cold.
Anyhow, have a great day all.
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Hurray - my family is at school and working. Everyone was sick last week.. they hung around in squalor - making messes and groaning.
I am looking forward to some power cleaning. Have a nice day all.
i think the pounds come from a sluggish digestive system.. which i try to remedy with lots of fiber, and bottle of prune juice weekly and occasionally Activia. (i don't really like Activia, but some women swear by it that I know).
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I fell of the treadmill the other day because of dizziness/vertigo. I think that the taxol messed up stuff in my head/ears.
Have fun today, Judy!!
Michele
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Judy~ As a Mom I wouldn't complain a bit. I would just be happy that they were occupied.
Apple~ When you are done.......
Michele~ I hope you are okay. That sounds scary...
Okay last night I took a xanax and it really seemed to help with the dizziness. I am beginning to think that my worrying is not doing a bit of good. I am supposed to be cleaning up now but geez do I hate cleaning....
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I was blaming Herceptin for my dizzines, but Michele and Judy don't get that while Jamie and I do. Hmmm. Maybe it's something else. Who the heck knows what all the junk we've been through (and are still going through!) has done to us. I'm sure hoping it gets better eventually.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling slightly woozy sitting here, so I'm going to wobble into the other room and take an Antivert.
Hope everyone has a good afternoon! I'm planning to go to my nephew's cross country meet ~ Go Bullpups!
Love to all of you,
Artemis -
do i get dizzy? i think i do.
i think it's my pain pills
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Apple~ Are you still having to take them everyday? How is your pain? Getting any better?
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Hi all, I have been away for a while, but it is wonderful to see how everyone is doing. I am nearly finished with radiation, only four more boosts left. Yippeeeeee! I have some bad burns under my arm but continuing with the Aloe. We are going to the U.S. for a short visit in three weeks and I am so excited to see my family. I have 2 boxes of bras, prosthesis and scarves that have been donated to bring back with me, so I am really excited about that. It is so fun to take the things to the hospital. There has been so much I could not do with our ministry here in the last year, so this makes me feel useful and blessed. You ladies have gotten me through this last year with your encouragement and so much good information. Being so far from my family has been made much easier with all of you on my side. Thank you so very much and God Bless, Kathy
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Michele - i usually take 2 to 4 a day.. always start the morning with 2.. and then maybe one and then another.
they work - i get so much done if i'm not stiff as a brick.
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I have stiffness too, although not too much pain. It goes away once I start moving, it is worse when i have been sitting still. Can put up with it OK though.
Gosh, we are a dizzy lot! Souinds no fun.
Kathy - Yah you! Finish line is in sight.
Hope everyone has a lovely day!
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I didn't take any pain pills yesterday after 1 pm. Actually, that is not unusual. The pain certainly was much worse. I find that if I move I am best served. The days when I drive all day, or sit at the computer are awful.
Playing the organ and concentrating on the pedalling has been really good. It's quite difficult to retain a posture that allows me to not fall off the bench. my stomach muscles are are like Joe Sixpack's. I told my husband that playing and practicing really helped and he kindly insisted I take at least 2 hours a day to play.. (like that will work out).
I have a ton of silk scarves.. Frankly, i think i better keep them. I'd like to think that the cancer will never 'come back' but that is unlikely and the scarves are beautiful.
my friend the director is having surgery in 7 days. poor baby (if you can call this 6 foot tall nordic, blond, queen a baby).
have a nice day
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