Starting Chemo May 2008
Comments
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I saw the photos on facebook of Noelle and Rock - they will make you smile. Rock, wishing you safe travels. Hoping things will settle for you and that you can pop in to say hello.
Laughing at Jen's use of the Schmick-Shite Continuum - brilliant scale Kerry!
Kristy - Hugs to you, hope you are feeling better soon!
I worked most of the day today since I was out on Friday. DAT and headed to bed. Thinking of all of you!
Jean
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So, here we are!
On Tuesday night my flight was crazy delayed as many of you know.
I packed and I had Herceptin, and on my way to the airport was told my flight was cancelled and got onto a later flight. I got into JFK at 11ish and took a cab( at jeanne's insistence) and met her at a bar near where she lives and where I was staying... we talked from midnight until 3 am... despite her apologies about the bar being smelly and her fave bartender not being there to give us cheap drinks we had a lot of fun. It really was like a live episode of The Road to Hell thread.. and anyone without BC would have been bored out of their minds... but we bitched and moaned and compared notes about everything from diagnosis nightmares( Happy Anniversary everyone!) ( don't forget, I was not on this thread from the beginning so I did not know about Rock's diagnosis mess) to hot flashes to sore fingers. It was very cathartic, but we were catatonic with exhaustion and finally did the grown up thing and went home at 3am. I bought groceries( my friend's apartment is always clean and has no food!) and went home and read my self to sleep.
I slept most of Wednesday and hung out with my best friend and had a late dinner with other friends. Rock had her dentist appt and found out about the need for the crown. That is when we realised trying to both be available to be with Karin on Thursday was not going to work. We were bummed.
On Thursday we planned to try and get together, but it took until Midnight for both of us to be free again. We met at another bar, talked until that place shut down and then moved to another. This time we talked more about family and how our years unfolded with regards to cancer. We cried together when Rock thanked me for coming and how great it was to be with someone who has been through this whole mess. My foob was hurting my scar, and realised I could just reach into my bra and take the damn thing out! If I could not do that in front of you all then who else??We talked until 4 am and decided since we both has full days on Friday we better stop.
Miss Jeanne is amazing to watch.She has the most hilarious rubber face! Every joke, every story has a mood and an expression that shoots out of her... she really talks like she writes to us on here! She is warm and beautiful and we are each very lucky to have her here. You may not realise, but it is because of her writing on the Road to hell thread that made me pop in to the May thread to see what was up with you guys.... and without her I would not have found many of you.
I am so glad I decided to make the last minute trip to New York and I wish i could have brought all of you with me. Karin, I have loved chatting with you this week, and am truly sorry we could not work things out.
Soon ladies... soon.
Love to all. Kristy glad u are home and ok... RanD, we talked about u in New York... we wonder and we worry..
xoxN
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Noelle - Thanks for sharing that. I really felt as if I was there with you both.
Rock - Take care, my friend. Please post when you can!
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Good morning, everyone! Kristy, I hope you're taking it very easy and letting others baby you. No baking, you hear??
I'm loving the hair in our avatars and other pix. (Don't know what's up with Otter's - will have to check out the other thread.) I think it's cool that we all have the same basic hair at this point - same noncolor, same "style." (Though just to be contrary, my usually wavy hair is still pretty straight. I thought it was just too short and fine to wave, until I saw Karin's.)
Hugs!!!
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Hi Everyone,
I am doing well and thankful for wireless internet. I am mobile independently but still pretty uncomfortable and moving VERY slowly. Kids are in school, college girl went back to Arkansas yesterday so it is quiet here- my Mom is coming over around 1 for a while- I actually wanted some alone time instead of wanting someone here all day long. I am thankful for Milk of Magnesia- thats what my doc ordered instead of metamucil Kerry! Still on a fairly soft diet- moving toward regular food very slowly and cautiously since those air bubbles in the bowel are VERY painful. All in all doing better than I expected to be at this point- going for post op appointment in the morning!
Kristy
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<----- LOOK!
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Kristy-so gald that you are doing better than you expected! Those nasty air bubbles can really be painful-moving around helps!
Karin-You look beautiful!
Noelle-Thanks for letting us in on your visit! Like Cris said, it is almost like being there!
Thinking of everyone!
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Karin, your Grandson is a CUTIE FACE. AN ENORMOUS CUTIE FACE!
(Have 2 more pages to read.)
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Noelle -- it was wonderful to see you on about 93 different levels. I wanna apologize for the late nights except that would be disingenous because to be honest, I liked the fact that I could see you in an open-ended way, without having to "gotta run! dentist's appointment at 3pm!" "must dash; need to pick up my keys and drop off a check!" cutting our conversation short.
(Dentist put on a temp crown since there wasn't time for a more permanent fix.)
sorry to be so spotty in my posting. just know that i've been channeling you guys for the last 5-7 days as i push push push myself. it's 1 am here in the UK. and i've gotta be up at 6:30.
much love.
Today is 1 year since I found my lump.
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Jackie - Glad you found some peace of mind.
Noelle - Thanks for posting the pics. Love um. Thanks to the pics and details you posted I almost feel like I was there with you anyway.
Kristy - Glad you are feeling better then you expected. Hope those air bubbles disappear soon and that you do find some alone time.
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Rock
Sorry I missed you. You snuck in before I posted. Glad you made it safely over there.
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Rock and Noelle, what a wonderful experience you both had. I wish we could have all been there with you but just reading about your time together and seeing the great pictures will have to do. One day, we will all meet. Rock, glad your first hop of your travels is going smoothly. When will they fix your tooth? I sure hope it last for you.
Karin, your hair looks great, like mine, straight, not wavy like I had before.
Kristy, glad your better pretty good. What's the standard recovery? 2-3 weeks?
Hi to everyone else. Thinking about you.
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Mary mine is curly and wavy. With the dark background on the picture I guess you can't see it. I will have to take another one with a lighter background. Believe me the curls and waves are there.
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Karin, I'm looking again at that adorable picture of your grandson, and then at your new avatar - and I swear, you both have the same beautiful eyes.
Linda
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Well what I have dreaded for a long time now has finally occrued. They stopped production at the sand plant my husband works at back in October. They let most go then but kept some on. Today he came home and said he is now cut back to 8 hours a day. That is cutting back on half of our income. Most of it came from his overtime. He has a few months left there but unless a position opens up in another plant he will then get laid off.
At 57 years old it is hard to find a job when all you've ever done is be a truck driver and a scale master. 57 in itself makes it hard to find a job and in this economy, well don't even want to think about it.
As for the cut back we ourselves now have a lot of cutting back to do. I have already been doing that knowing this might happen. Now its do I get rid of the cable, cell phones, internet access etc. Some things got to go because now we can't afford them.
What scares me the most is now I must seek out a full time job. I love my job and don't want to leave but there are NO full time positions available. I have been trying to get one since I got back into the school system. I've always said God will open the door when I need one. Please God I need one now.
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Karin~ Love the new av! My hair is still coming in straight which is bizarre for me. I normally have very curly hair. I wonder if it has anything to do with the herceptin. And I totally understand about the job situation. My job is running out of work fast and so is my hubby's. Best we can do is hold on tight and pray hard.
Rock~ I hope you have a very safe and wonderful trip!
Not much to report here lately. Eyebrows are starting to thin out .... Hopefully they won't all fall out at once like the last time. Have treatment on thursday.... is it september yet?
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Jen my eybrows too have thinned out once again. Have been that way for a few weeks now. The first time I never did lose them all. First the inner eye went thin then filled back in then the outter eye same thing. This time the whole eybrow thinned.
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Noelle, I need to resurrect your advice about curly hair, I think. I know if I blow mine dry and brush it, it ends up nothing but FUZZ. So I don't do that--I blot it dry and "comb" it with my fingers. Can you post those links about curly hair again?
Karin, you look terrific! I am so sorry to hear about your dh's job situation. I hope everybody can hang on until the economy comes back out of this ditch it's in. In the meantime, though, it must be tough. If you have to give up your internet connection, does that mean you'll have to give up the BCO boards, too? Oh, noooooo!!!
Rock, where'd you get that accent? Good to hear from you! That was fun to hear from Noelle about your NYC adventures. How long will you be in England, before you move on to your destination?
Linda, Sable, Roxi--isn't it interesting, how our hair all looks similar at that early stage of growth? Same color, same waves, ... I was really down about mine yesterday, but my dh has been trying to cheer me up about it. After all, it is growing, so it will be different next month, too.
I need to go. Someone reported one of my posts, and I can't figure out why. I don't even know which post it was. And, my dh is getting grumpy because I am still here on my laptop (it's only 10:10, for pete's sake!) and he's in bed already.
G'night, everybody!
otter
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Evening ladies! This is a quick post because I am D.A.T. from the excitement of the Nick Cave concert. Impossible to describe, save to say when it was over I felt as though I had run 5 miles. It was just insane. Anyway, Karin et al: don't lose hope. It is true, there are shite times ahead but we have been through so much and now we just have to be very alert to new opportunities, even if the future seems unclear. I cannot bear the thought of ANY of you having to go without a cracker. Simplifying is good; going without is not. Not now. I'll be praying myself silly for solutions for all of you. XXX More tomorrow when I revive!
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Morning Ladies!
Otter-I can't imagine why anyone would want to report any of your posts! You have been so helpful to so many, myself included.
I know all too much about the cutting back on the budget. Just finished filling out the application for the Patient Advocate Program to help with all the co-pays that have been building up. DH hasn't worked in a couple of years (trying to get him to apply for his disability-he's slow about it), so my income in our only income right now. I get just under $1200.00 a month from my long term disability and $750 of that goes to COBRA. What savings we had sustained us, barely, until last month Doesn't leave much to pay bills and buy food/gas/meds with. Luckily, I live in an old farm house, rent is cheap and landlord is very understanding-we pay as we can. (Been here for almost 13 years) Applied for food stamps, but my medical expenses could not be counted because I get my disability from a private insurance co. and not the government--so we qualified for a whopping $14 a month! Thank goodness for Angelfood Ministries, (and my MIL, who helps out as she can) Sorry this turned out so long, but it feels good to get finally share. Hopefully, I will be back to work full time by the end of Feb/first of March, then life will get somewhat back (financially) to normal.
Don't think that I could ever give up my internet connection, because then I would loose all of you and then I'd be.....lost. You all are now a part of my family and I truly appreciate each and every one of you. OK, enough sappy, teary eyed talk-I have to get off my butt and get ready to go to rads. Today is "see the doc" day.
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Good Morning,
Karin - sorry to hear about the job situation. My company had 5 layoffs last year - I survived but we have cut back too just in case it happens.
I am heading off to my post-op appointment- I dont know if the staples come out this morning or not (I didnt ask)- anyway, doing better, going a little longer between those Darvocets- so that is a good sign,
Rock- have a great trip.
I dont remember how long Rock will be gone- anyone know?
Kristy
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Karin and Gracie - my thoughts are with you both. I can certainly relate and hope that things turn around for you quickly. This truly sucks. It makes me think of a quote I saw just this morning
"Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jen and Karin - My eyelashes and eyebrows are also thinning. I figured since they didn't at 3 months, like others had experienced, that it wouldn't happen to me. NOT. More like 4 1/2 months - 5 months. I'm hoping they don't completely go....it is what it is.
Rock - very good to see you post. Know that we are all thinking of you as you start your journey.
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Otter -- Someone reported YOU? Oh bloody hell. It had to be a mistake.
Job/income loss: People, I wish I could offer more than my sympathy. Oddly, cancer helped me out financially because I was supposed to be living on half-salary this year but since I was on medical leave, I got a whole salary. The last time I lived on half salary, it was tricky because I had so few "luxuries" to cut. I could sell the belt, but I couldn't tighten it.
Must go to sleep. Need to be up in an hour. xoxoxo (I fly to England on Friday and arrive Saturday morning.)
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Morning girls,
Karin it made me sad to read your post and what you have to deal with your dh losing his job.Haven't you been thru enough! Hope you don't have to scarafice the internet as we would miss you...this economy sucks right now! It's finds a way to affect everyone no matter who you are. We have the misfortune of being in the new car industry and it's sucking wind right now might have to rethink our long term plan! Karin just send us your internet bill and we'll find a way to keep you up and running! Gracie i hope things get easier for you in the New Year and it's not such a struggle!
How come some of you are having your eyebrows thin out...is this from the herceptin ? My eyebrows are having a real struggle with returning from the chemo, eyelashes had no problem though.My eyes are still bugging me though they seem to have a hard time focusing some days.....and of course it couldn't be the time on the computer messing them up ....?
Rock have a safe flight to England....go to one of those english pubs and have a mug for us!
Otter I can't imagine why you would be reported...thats crazy ! Let us know how that plays out.
Hope everyone else has a great day.
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What Rock is not saying is that in order to go and keep her place in NYC she has to pay at least some of the rent because she took a subletter that could not pay the whole amount... but she trusts her. What Rock has to pay per month to be in another country is higher than my mortgage payment. What a long and hard year it has been, and to have a recession hitting many of you/us immediately after is yucky. I guess, if we did not know b4 cancer how to count our blessings we do now. Maybe Cancer and then recession is the right order to have it go in if we have to have both. My BF wondered the other day if all the peeps who have lived in the lap of luxury with SUV's and McMansions what will happen to them... does anyone know how to darn socks anymore? When was the last time you saw a kid with a patch on his jeans? I hope that each and every one of you stays healthy and happy this year with a roof over your head and food on your table. I pray that both our respective new governments allow all these buy outs for the right reasons and make available roofs and food for everyone who needs it. Karin, I am in to keep your internet access on too. How much do yo pay per month?
In the next few days you should all get my Xmas greeting. It will show up, you will know it is from me, but it was put together by my assistant while I was in NY. You will understand when you see it. Feel free to email me ellenoire@ellenoire.com if u have questions.
xoN
P.S more on curly hair later
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Otter - Did you find anything out about the reported post?
Kerry - Don't worry I haven't lost hope. I'm just taking it one day at a time.
Gracie - Thank God for MILs. My MIL got us through the rough winter months when we were just starting out as a family. One winter he got laid off and she helped us out. During the spring when we were back on our feet we tried to pay her back but she wouldn't take it. We got her though. For Mother's day we bought her a really nice recliner that she had been wanting. She didn't refuse that, lol.
Kristy - How did your post-op appointment go? Did they take out the staples?
Adrienne - Hopefully you will just experience thinning and not total loss.
Rock - I don't think I can sell the belt. DH will need to tighten it to hold his pants up because he will lose weight. Buying junk food and snacks have already gotten cut back, LOL
Angel/Noelle - Thanks but internet would be last to go and if so I do have friends with connections. Would just have to visit more so I could use their computer.
Now for my biggest challenge, waking up during the work week with another person to fit into our morning routine. In 29 years of marriage I have always woke up without him (except on weekends). He has always left during the wee hours of the morning. This is going to take some getting use to. We ran into a bathroom problem this morning. Uuhhhmmm? Am I supposed to wake up a bit earlier and be the dutiful wife and make DH breakfast before he leaves?
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Karin, that is true! I leave first in the mornings (aim for 7am) so I don't have to deal with the Hell Mornings. It's easier now we have another bathroom (and most importantly a seperate toilet!) but my hub is 6'3" and 110kg. It's hard to get around him wherever he is. We spent all our time together when we went to my family at Christmas, and to tell you the truth, I was glad to see him go back to work so I could have space and slow cups of tea in the morning! Noelle, you are right about the order of things. BC has changed me, especially in terms of 'things'..not that I ever hankered after them, but I had my weaknesses (eg really shabby old furniture). Now I am actually giving things away. I thought it would kill me but..guess what! It exhilarates me! Mind you, bills have to be paid with folding stuff, so old furniture wouldn't do the trick there. I would never give up my net connection. I would do a lot more car-pooling, track down cheaper food from farms I drive past, get myself a rabbit-supplier etc. I am already on a mission to halve our power bill. The boys are horrified..I have become the Kilowatt Police. I'm afraid they have lived the McMansion life (in their imaginations, at least!) for too long. We (and Drew's family) were very, very poor so I know how to stretch thangs! Rock, HOW DO YOU FEEL ?? It is just awesome to think that after this baptism of fire and rads and dental-work and a whole lot else that you are literally on your way. I am so excited..it's almost like I'M the one going! If anyone ever deserved this, it's you.XXXX Kristy, staples???How bloody uncivilised. How are the bowels, my girl?? OMG don't they become important at a time like this???? I'm going to have peaceful, freeform few days now. I might even put a book or two on the bookeshelf, and un-schmick it a bit. Drew is taking the boys to camp at the beach with his best mate. Drew, Charlie and Alex (the 15yo) have a swimming comp out to a certain buoy and back, and a run to finish off. Drew usually wins, but is very unfit this year. Fortunately, for the men at least!, a shark bit a girl on the leg last week so there will be no swimming out to the buoy this year! The 15yo would have won, and there is NOTHING more unbearable than a bragging 15yo male...except maybe his bragging father. Love y'all, and Otter...a mistake. XXX
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Lots going on here!!! I started a post last night but it went "poof" into cyber-wherever and I was just too dog.ass.tired. to try again. Otter, I can''t imagine anyone reporting a post of yours, it's gotta be in error. Adrienne, I noticed you abbreviated dog.ass.tired. as DAT. That's an old air traffic control expression--it means "dead ass tie."
Gotta go eat a wonderful-smelling dinner that my hubby made--more later or tomorrow--love you all!
Sue
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Hi Everyone,
I am staple free- didnt hurt at all. Afterward I went to another doc office to get allergy shot, deposited some money in the bank and went to Sams. (My mom was the driver). Got what I needed at Sams but it wore me out- went home to take a nap. I did manage to cook dinner tonight with help- I cook and stir but cant lift anything- anyway was a vegetable (mushrooms, tomatoes and broccoli) with chicken and garlic herb sauce. Premade garlic bread and everyone ate in a single bowl.
I have 2 weeks before I see the doc again= gotta keep the incision dry (he said it looked great today) and try to take it easy.
I will pitch in on internet bills too.\
Noelle, I am counting the days until I can take a bath again- I miss my bath bombs!
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Kristy, with the way you cook, I think I'll be over for dinner tomorrow night. I'll pick up some groceries on the way.
How many of you had staples holding your incision together? I just can't imagine what that would look like. (No thanks, don't send me any pics or post any web links. I really don't want to know.) My mast incision was a nice, straight line all covered with a tight row of little steri-strips. The sutures were all buried (subcuticular, I think they're called), and they dissolved over time. But, STAPLES???
The reporting of my post yesterday appears to have been some kind of strategy to get the moderators' attention. One of the newer BCO members wanted to ask the mods about something but couldn't get them to respond ... so she reported one of my posts. She figured they would contact her to find out why she had reported the post, and then she could ask them the question she had been wondering about. Apparently, her question had nothing to do with my post. This was kind of like calling the police and saying that your neighbor's kid broke your window when he really didn't do it; but you wanted to talk to the cops about something else and this was a good way to get them to come out to your house. <sigh> I can't quite follow the logic, but apparently it was no big deal after all.
Angels, I'm not getting Herceptin but my brows keep thinning every few months. At least they're not falling out all at once anymore. But, they are patchy and have very little color; so I'm keeping up with the brow pencil and powder when I decide to care. It's working out okay.
I took my car to the mechanic today for a 90,000 mile maintence checkup. There was nothing wrong, but it cost me $610.00 anyway, just to do all the little stuff--like replace the antifreeze and the air filter, and change the oil and the brake fluid, and check the tires and the windshield wipers, etc. Normally, my dh does most of those things; but another shop had messed some things up last spring, so we decided to have it all done "professionally" this time. The labor component of that bill was $389. They had the car for 4 hours, counting the lunch hour. Somebody seems to be doing okay in this failing economy.... (My apologies to any mechanics in the audience.)
Oh, and as if the day wasn't stinky enough already, I got stopped by the police on the way home for almost running a red light (it was yellow, but the timing was too close). You aren't gonna believe this, but that was the first time I've ever been pulled over or stopped by the police for anything. Ever. No tickets, no warnings, not even any driver's license checks. So, when I saw the blue lights flashing, I assumed they were on an emergency call and would go around me. But when I pulled over, the police car pulled over too. (Curse words spoken under my breath, as I dig around for my license and insurance card...)
It was a lady cop, and she was matter-of-fact but nice enough. She asked why I had run the light, so I explained that I couldn't even see it until I got right up to the intersection because of some tall trucks ahead of me; and by then it had turned yellow. I figured if I stopped too suddenly, I would probably get rear-ended, especially during rush hour (which it was). She gave me a "verbal warning" to be more careful because the traffic on that highway was really dangerous. (No kidding!)
It wasn't until I was driving away that I realized the picture she was looking at on my driver's license was not me. I have very short, very curly, mixed brown/gray hair and no eyebrows. That person in the DL photo has straight, chin-length, medium-brown hair and definitely has eyebrows and eyelashes. But, the police lady never asked.
My dh fixed me a whisky 'n seven when I got home. I haven't had one of those in about 30 years. It tasted very good, under the circumstances.
otter
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