Starting Chemo May 2008

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  • LeggyJ
    LeggyJ Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2009

    My last rad treatment was on Nov.17th, and this weekend I really started, to finally feel, like my old self, again.  I've been working, since late Oct. but I was just tired, all the time, and getting frustrated about my slow recovery.  Chemo. took a toll on me.  I lost 35lbs, and I'm not sorry about that, since I needed to lose some weight, but it weakened me. 

    My hair, didn't start growing until, after rads, so it's just now starting to fill in, a little.  Wow, talk about salt and pepper...I haven't seen my own color in 35 years, what a shock! 

  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited January 2009

    Hi Everyone,

    Is anyone else still itching from rads? I still have one itchy spot on my back--- of course, it gives me a great excuse to get Larry or the kids to put lotion on me and Im sure it is getting better since I used to itch all over all the time....but it seems like 2 months post rads is still a long time to be itching.

    Took DD to Southlake (near Dallas) for a softball team tryout today- treated the two kids with me to lunch at Cheesecake Factory (we split one totlally decadent piece of cheesecake after lunch) and then almost froze to popsicle form at the ballpark for 2 hours0 but she had a great tryout and they offered her a spot. She is also talking to 2 or 3 other teams so she postponed making a decision- blaming it on my surgery this week LOL. All in all, a great weekend with near normal energy levels.

    Im reading the Twilight series at the request of my daughters- they wanted me to read it during chemo but reading novels did not jive with my 5 minute attention span during chemo- so Im supposed to read it during surgery recuperation in the next few weeks.

    Hysterectomy is Thursday so I might be offline for a few days- hospital only has dial up so I probably wont deal with taking the laptop with me to the hospital.

    Bought myself a new covered muffin pan and Williams -Sonoma today- if I was wealthy I could spend a fortune at that store-LOVE IT!!!!

    Hope everyone is having fun during reentry to the normal world- I like the short hair for ease of doing but on cold days, I really miss my old really thick hair LOL.

    Kristy

  • Jeano77
    Jeano77 Member Posts: 237
    edited January 2009

    I had been reading the posts over the weekend, but kept having to leave the computer to get a tissue!  Karin, beautiful posts and great to see you here so much.  Noelle, the blog was beautiful!  I read it to my sister and neither of us had dry eyes.  Also, loved the verse from the song. 

    Jan - I felt a little relief reading that you finished rads on the 17th and are just now feeling better.  I finished on the 14th of November and had my first decent day yesterday. 

    Kristy - I have the dry itchy skin as well, but blame it on the cold, dry MN winters.  I still lather up twice a day and that does the trick. 

    Otter - Cannot believe that you were in Red Wing!  I should have driven down just to give you a big hug and say hello.  The U of M St. Paul campus is roughly 7 miles from my house, that is where I go to the farmer's market every week in the summer.  Although it was cold here, I hope you had a nice visit. 

    RanD - thinking of you . . . praying for you.

    Jean

  • Jeano77
    Jeano77 Member Posts: 237
    edited January 2009

    Jan - Is that a yorkie??

  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited January 2009

    Kristy - I still itch and still get nerve-ending twinges, too, from the SNB scar.  I'm trying to lotion up twice a day like Jean, but don't always make the evening one as I'm often dog.ass.tired. still.  I finished rads on Dec. 3.

  • Gracie713
    Gracie713 Member Posts: 302
    edited January 2009

    Morning Ladies!

    This makes the 3rd time I have tried to post-sometimes, I really don't like this laptop-hit the backspace button and I went back to my homepage--what's up with that?

    Not much happening here in my neck of the woods-my main rant is my oldest DD.  She filed for a divorce back in Oct, from her abusive husband (mostly verbal, but vicious).  Now, this girl is no angel and there are still times she can make you mad enough to want to slap her, but I am so tired of my granddaughter being bounced around here & there and from school to school.  I hadn't talked to her since Christmas and when she finally called me this weekend, I just told her...if you think that this is the right thing to do, then why did you feel that you had to hide it?  They have seperated several times in the past and she keeps going back to put up with the same crap.  When will they learn??????

    Finally have my appetite back and I'm not sure that is a good thing, although I can taste most foods now.  Still can't taste salt though.   I have noticed more swelling in my hands & feet, maybe because I am doing more.  Went Friday to have my port flushed and my chemo nurse thought that my face looked a little "puffy".  Med. onc said to just keep an eye on it and let my rad onc know if it gets worse.  

    Better get this posted before it disappears too, time to jump into the shower and get ready for the daily rads trip!  A little kitten has found it's way to my front porch and now our little psycho dog won't go outside-talk about a wuss!

    Hope that everyone has a great day!

  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    Morning all!

    I think of you all the time! 

    This week I might get your xmas cards out finally! 

    If I write them on epiphany it is still Christmas! 

    ... walks away humming ... on the 12th day of Christmas I tried to write some cards!  ....

    xoN

  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    morning ladies! First day of school of the new year for the kiddo. Man was it hard to get up this morning. Even on the days I went to work I slept in a bit. I am such a nite person...

    Kristy~ good luck this thursday! We'll be with you in surgery daulink!

    Not much to report that's interesting. I'm trying to work out the swelling I get from each herceptin treatment, yet again. I swell up pretty good each time and it goes down a bit each day. This time around I swelled good enough that my scar from the nodes was hurting pretty good. Looks like I had a bit of hair growth spurt, longer but still not filling in all the way. I'm tempted to slap some mousse on it to make it lay down at least. Standing straight up. I did go thru and start digging out all my fancy hair products that have been in the back of the closet for months. I'm a hair product junkie to say the least. Fingernails are looking better each day. They have about 1/8 of an inch to look completely normal. Think I might be able to start going without polish now and not be so self aware. OH, I went nekkid at red lobster for hub's bday! I wore my hat in but once we sat down I took it off..... its a start. :O)

    hugs and slobbers!

  • LeggyJ
    LeggyJ Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2009

    Wolfie is a black mini schnauzer, but he's a big mini.

    Jean, I'm glad your feeling better, and it's good to know, I'm not alone.  Two weeks ago, I went to my GP doctor, because my oncologist nurse, said I should have been, better by than.  My GP, seemed to think, it was all in my head.  But, I wasn't depressed, just frustrated, and tired of being tired. It feels so good, to feel normal again!!!!

  • angelsaboveus
    angelsaboveus Member Posts: 298
    edited January 2009

    Morning everyone,

    I am so done with snow already. Just got in from shovelling out again ! Another 6 inches expected today then it's supposed to warm up and rain by the end of the week so should be a real big mess.

    Happy New year to everyone, sounds like everyone is ready to move on and leave all that yukky stuff behind us.   I've been feeling real anxious lately and don't know why....kinda the way i felt when this all started. Maybe it's the just because before there were appts with docs telling me what to do and what would happen next now i have to navigate myself and leave the safety net.  Dont' get me wrong i am happy to be done with it all !!! .   Maybe its just the winter blues.

    My boys have gone home ...house is quiet. Took the tree down yesterday and have to finish up putting away the other decorations today 

    We have booked a trip to Disneyland at the beginnning of March during spring break. ..love Disneyland even with the crowds and lineups it's so much fun !  It's nice to have something to look forward too!

    Hair is growing ever so slowly, and i've got this weird hairline thing happening , kinda like a dracula haircut but in the back. Not liking that, hopefully it all catches up and i end up with something straighter. I shouldn't complain at least i have hair. 

    Enough of my whining....hope everyone has a great day ! Thanks for being here ladies your the greatest!  Innocent

  • LeggyJ
    LeggyJ Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2009

    Dear Angelsaboveus,

     I read a book, a few weeks ago, called After Breast Cancer, by Musa Mayer, and she writes about, the anxious feelings, after treatments are over, and you hit the nail, on the head. We don't have anyone, telling us what to do now...It's normal.  My doctor, set up three shrink appointments, so that I could have someone to talk to, about this, since I live a good distance, from the group meetings, and it's a dark mountain road.  I don't know if it will help, but I'll give it a try.  I think, I'll read the book again...

    Jan

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Kristy - Will be thinking of you Thursday, and praying.

    Jackie - I know DD troubles have to be making you ache for her. When mine were younger they use to work on my nerves, now that they're older they seem to work on my heart.

    Jen - Love the hugs and slobbers. My last chemo was July 30th. I just trimmed the last cracked chemo nail ridge off during the holidays. I finally have my great looking nails back.

    Greetings to everyone else and still praying for ranD

  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    WOOOHOOO my new foob came today! This is my 3rd one actually. I bought a foam one at the very beginning and then I got the expensive one about 4 months ago. The foam one turned out to be much more comfy to wear around daily. Unfortunately it kinda went flat on me so I ordered a new one from TLC this time. Got that and a medical alert bracelet they carry as well.

    No matter what you get in the mail, its always exciting lol.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Jen,

    Are you saying bills are exciting? Well they do fall under no matter what, LOL

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Jan, I had the anxiety thing too. I was so happy to be done (apart from annoying bladder biz and more follow-ups) that I thought NOTHING could get me down. The anxiety would start small, get bigger and stay like that for hours at a time. I don't know what my hub thought of it all..I really feel for people who have a partner with a mental illness. It seems to have subsided in the last month or so. Maybe it's because I am on holidays and maybe it's because I exercise every day without fail. I haven't been anxious about cancer; it's more an overwhelming feeling of being anxious for anxiety's sake! I imagine the feeling precedes a full on panic attack..thankfully I never went that far. Gracie, I can't remember where you are at with treatment. Is the swelling a post-chemo thing? I look at pics of me toward the end of chemo and I was VERY puffy..to the point of serious discomfort in the abdomen, but my face and hands/feet were swollen too. I was quite worried about it. (Heart???Kidneys???) Somewhere else on here I read that it subsides over a period of weeks and that is what has happened, although I still get the slightly swollen 'little old lady' feet. I still can't wear my wedding bands and I hate that. And good on you for challenging your daughter. As a teacher/chaplain I experience the fallout from this kind of lifestyle every day. It breaks my heart to see how kids struggle with instability and how brave they are. Old girls like us need to call a spade a shovel at every opportunity! Kristy, I'll be thinking of you on Thursday..hopefully this op actually belongs in The Year of One More Fecking Thing: 2008!  2009 is our Year Of Full Steam Ahead. I hope you have a staff of caring people to wait on you hand and foot when you get home. When I was about 18 my aunt told me she had to have a hysterectomy. I asked her what one was (!) She laughed and said it was where they took away the playpen and left the playground. I had no idea what she was talking about, and when it dawned on me ten years later I was horrified that my aunt would make such a joke. Boy, my standards have shifted.......Laughinglove and strength for the day and always.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    As you may remember I too suffered from the anxiety thing. In September after school started and it still did not subside my onco put me on 10 mg of Lexapro. I do believe the anxiety is gone but I'm still taking it; cut myself back to only 5 mg. I don't want to go totally off of it because I am also certain it is the reason Femera is not giving me hot flashes. I suffered them and night sweats to the extreme end during menopause and do not want a repeat occurrence.

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 1,224
    edited January 2009

    I got the anxiety thing when I was diagnosed...or really, I guess you could say I have an anxious brain.  Lots of years as an air traffic controller thinking of and trying to provide for the "what-if's" are a contributing factor, I  think.  Anyway, my GP put me on Zoloft between biopsy and biopsy results, and I've been on it ever since.  I am doing really well on it, it helps with the hot flashes from the Tamoxifen, and I'm not anxious.  I'd even say I feel happier than I have in a long time, but I don't  know if that's the Zoloft or getting cancer and realizing what is important and how blessed I am.

    Karin, so glad to see you posting again. And you too, Cris.

    Love you guys, still.

    Sue

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    I've got a HUGE favor to ask of you.

    I am in the process of taking down my Christmas decorations. I do not want to take down my garland holding all of your cards. Seeing them everyday brings me closer to you. It's like I can reach out and touch you. To replace the cards I would like to have a 4x6 of each of you to put in a photo collage that I have. Please, please, please. If you're interested in helping me out send me a PM and I will give you my email to send me a current or chemo day's photo of you. You have become a part of my life and I would love to see you every day. I was thinking of using the May Group photo but would like individual photos of your choosing. After all the chemo days are behind us, and we're all sporting our new shorter hair styles.

  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited January 2009

    a quickie. I HOPE I see nicole tomorrow night! i am working my a** off packing... it would be great to see her/you.

    Let me throw some random stuff out there:  Cris -- I also get the weird Scar Pang.  Very disconcerting. And Gracie, I have the ankles of the librarian in my hometown -- they look like I'm transporting donuts.

    My big sis was here, was VERY VERY helpful. She left this morning. We had a good time and boy, is she a worker.  But I think my favorite part of her visit was that at night we would crawl into my bed with chocolate covered cranberries, 3-4 kinds of cheeses, slices of apples, dried apricots, and crackers & salmon spread, not to mention full-bodied red wine that we watered down with cherry seltzer water (because we're classy that way) and watch this DVD that my little sister had sent us, the BBC's Planet Earth.  

    Ummmm, can I propose that we consider introducing something like that experience at our inevitable reunion?  Just a suggestion.

     Sorry I haven't been able to post.  But you know I was thinking aboutcha, right?

  • Gracie713
    Gracie713 Member Posts: 302
    edited January 2009

    Rock-I think that is a great idea!  So glad that you had a wonderful time with your sister.  Wasn't Blue Planet just awesome?

    Kerry-I believe that my swelling is a residual effect of the taxotere.  Plus I have had a little more energy, so I am a little more active. 

    Anxiety-story of my life.  I have had a panic/anxiety disorder for years and have had numerous, major panic attacks.  After trying several different meds, I was finally put on Xanax and it has worked well.  Doesn't do squat for the hot flashes, but helps with the mood swings.  I have always been, as my Mother once said when I was little, a bit "high strung".  I have learned over the years to know my warning signals and am able to stay fairly calm, sometimes, too calm.  

    Karin-I will be glad to send you a pic.  I don't have a new hairdo to show off--I am beginning to wonder if my hair is ever going to grow back to a somewhat normal state!  (I know that it will, I'm just getting impatient.) 

    Love you all!

  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    No anxiety here.. not in the way most people get it. Or maybe I called it something else. I have always called my post cancer feelings PTS (post traumatic stress). I gave my fave cancer book back to the cancer centre, but if you scroll back to July and August posts by me I mentioned it a few times.

    You all knew Rock was talking about me when she said she would see "Nicole" tomorrow night... right? It's ok Rocko, I get called that all the time.

    I got a last minute chance to fly to New York this week to see friends and force Rock to take some extra help packing before she leaves on the weekend.

     Karin, PM me if you think you can steal across the river! I will get you a pic soon! what a great idea!

      love, N

  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited January 2009

    Okay, so here I thought I was becoming too dependent on my Xanax!  GP prescribed it for me right after the diagnosis and I have been taking it every night since.  It helps prevent me from waking up with racing thoughts and I did take it every so often during the day (like on the first day of chemo, as encouraged by one of the RN's).  I was starting to feel guilty for feeling like I still needed it, but not anymore!  That is one of the best things about being with you all - my experience isn't just mine and my feelings/thoughts about what's going on get put in perspective.  Love that!!

    Gracie - Be aware of the swelling that comes with rads, too.  I think I'm still battling it, although it is getting better. 

    Karin - Can I send you a picture even though you don't have my card...yet?  (Although Jen secretly PM'd the list, so I'm planning on sending everyone cards - soon.)

    Sue - Thanks!

    Rock - I PM'd you.  Love the sister thang!

    By the way, everyone be careful.  I managed to bruise my ribs just jumping with the girls on their new trampoline last week.  And, no, I did NOT fall down!  This was just regular jumping but I think the bruising came from falling on my butt and bouncing back up (didn't know I could do that!) a few times.  So just be careful because I remember reading something about the chemo/rads weakening our bones (Otter - help?!)

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Rock, I laughed out loud...at both visuals: the movie my mind played of you and your sister, and the Librarian ankles!! WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS SHITE!!??? They told me about a whole load of SEs but SWOLLEN ANKLES??? N-o-o-o-o! So now all my cute little strappy pointy flats have these...things....squeezing through the gaps. For feck's sake! Is there no end to the humiliation accompanying this disease??? And my New Year resolution was to end the profanity and become a more....appropriate chaplain.....sigh.......I spent the afternoon assembling 2 metres of bookshelves (complete with glass doors) from Ikea. What an experience from whoa to go! I would like to know how many marriages have foundered in the storage section, only to be repaired a bit in the utensils section, then fail at the checkout and then kick-start due to one invention: THE PORTABLE DRILL!! Oh, how much do I love a power-tool (albeit battery-operated). I happily joined up the bits while hub happily watched the cricket. I was so pleased I took The Fibber on the longer, harder walk and OMG how much did I curse femara on the long, slow walk back.  Karin, I would love to send a pic! I promise it will be real, and not imaginary like my Christmas card! BTW, I AM working on the cards, girls! And I got misty at the thought of Rock getting a hand from Noelle. What a group we are...I would help too, Rock if I was there. But there would be not enough packing and a little too much of that classy drink-mixing if I was!Kiss XXXX

  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited January 2009

    Noelle, please call me "Elaine" as punishment.  (For what it's worth, my best friend's name is "Nicola.")  I will have a pic taken of me in Cape Town, Karin. (Wow. This whole trip is really going to happen, isn't it?)

  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    on my way to herceptin and then the airport to NYC to meet Rock!

     u guys can PM me here or email ellenoire@ellenoire.com or FB me if you happen to be nearby or anything. 

     Lauren I will get hair prod info for you when I am there. 

     Cheers, N

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Rock - About the reunion, your idea sounds wonderful. Can we hire some cabana boys to wait on us? LOL

    Noelle - Why couldn't this be last week when I was off from work. I would love to steal across the river but no way can I miss work this week. Took off Monday the week of the beginning of the holidays for my colonoscopy. Guess it's up to you to work extra hard packing to cover my extra hands that can't make it. On second thought don't work too hard. ENJOY the get together and give rock a hug from me.

    Rock - Give Noelle a hug from me.

    I'm sorry I'm being selfish. Will you two just do a long tight hug and make it a group hug from and for all of us.

    To All - I am so excited to get the photos. Can't wait to see you every day hanging on my wall. Once it's up I'll have to post or send you a pic of the collage frame hanging on the wall.

  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Rock/noelle... there had better be pics! :O)

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Rock/Noelle - This is just too dang tempting. Two for the price of one. It would be worth the 6 hour round trip for just an hour or so of visit time. If I left right from work I could be in the city between 3 - 4. Not sure what day Rock is leaving but can do any day but Friday, volunteer for PAL. Is Thursday good? Tomorrow would be alright if we could hook up communications tonight. If you're leaving Saturday I could meet you at the airport for a von-voyage.

    Rock it's really on you I know you have a ton of last minute things before you leave and don't want to make myself something else to have to worry about.  You have my number I will PM Noelle with it so between the 2 of you, you can let me know.

    Anyone else if you would like my phone number just PM me. Don't want to post because Of rock's experience we know others visit here.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    After thought what does FB me mean? Face Book? If so I don't have a page there yet.

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 1,224
    edited January 2009

    WAAAH!  I wanna come!!!

    Seriously,  Elaine and Nicole, hug each other for all of us.  Rock, it's really going to happen.....and so is the reunion!!

    Sue

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