Starting Chemo May 2008

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Making and taking the time to say Happy New Year to All. May this year be a much healthier year for all of us.

    I may not post that often anymore and when I do they are not as personable as before but you are all very special to me and thought of everyday.

    I most admit that a year ago I did not think I would live to see this day. I had discovered my lump a few weeks before the Holidays but because of the holidays and fear I put off doing anything about it. I remember having a picture taken of me and my grandson Christmas day and thinking to myself I wanted a picture of us together incase I didn't make it to next Christmas I could be with him in the photo.

    Well thanks be to God and all your help to get me through, here I am. I love my family and know they love me but they just didn't understand what I was going through. It was YOU that got me to where I am today. For this I THANK YOU. You helped to give me a positive attitude and kept me from falling into a deep depression. You gave me a reason to laugh when I wanted to cry.

    I don't ever want to loose touch with any of you. You have become to mean much more to me then some of my closest friends. We have built a close bond that no one else could possibly ever understand because a lot of cyber friends hide behind the internet. In our case we bared our heart and soul to each other. I trust each and every one of you more then friends I have known through the years.

    Not to get religious on you but I must share this scripture with you.

    Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) Thank you all for picking me up.

    Sorry this got so long but I had to let you know. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Hint to prevent lost posts.

    My last post almost got lost in cyber space. If I hadn't had done it the way I usually do it would have got lost. I always type it first in my word. Then copy and paste. It's a good thing I did because when trying to post to you the site lost it and I had to do it again.

  • familyroks
    familyroks Member Posts: 575
    edited January 2009

    That was a beautiful post Karin.  I think its safe to say that most of us feel the same way.

    Happy New Year to everyone.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Adrienne,

    Ditto on "I think it's safe to say that most of us feel the same way." I'm sure the others do too. Since I don't find the time to post that often I just had to let everyone know that even though I might be absent from the discussion board that you where all not absent from my mind and heart. I worry about ranD. I pray for her everyday.

  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    I wrote you all a letter.. I put it on my blog, for I want the world to see what you mean to me.

    I have not been posting much, I am just too tired to talk much. 

    http://noellesbloggybits.blogspot.com/2009/01/open-letter-to-my-cancer-support-group.html 

    Otter, the thought of you and your husband waking up just enough to say Happy New Year to each other made me cry. I love it, a precious memory.

     I thought of all of you last night as I cried when Auld Lang Syne came on (more about that on my blog too) BF asked me about the meaning of the song, both to me and the translation (my mother was born and raised in Scotland, I understand most of the traditional wording) but in looking it up today there is a verse I did not know about. It goes like this...

    We twa hae paidl'd i' the burn,
    Frae mornin' sun till dine;
    But seas between us braid hae roar'd
    Sin auld lang syne

    and it translates to this...

    We two have paddled in the stream,
    From morning sun till noon;
    But seas between us broad have roared
    Since old long past.

    To us dear ladies, that verse is for us. We have paddled in the stream together, and despite the distances between us... we will stay together forever. 

     Love you all... Happy New Year!

    Noelle 

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Noelle,

    You should have posted a warning before reading your blog. Caution read only with Tissue in hand. Love you girl. Happy New Year!

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Otter,

    Sounds like you brought in the New Year similar to the way Curt and I did. We also went to bed early. We woke up at 11:45. Turned on Dick Clarks "Rockin New Years Eve", not going to give TMI, then switched to Philadelphia's fire works. All I will say is it was nice to bring the New Year in with just the two of us for a change.

    P.S. I love MS Word. This is another post that also got lost in cyber space.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Every Day

    Can you tell were having a relaxing day at home? LOL

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Rock,animal,farm,ice,pig,skating

    Read your blog. Would love to go skating with you Sunday. Sent you a PM. Get back to me.

  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Noelle~ I have no words.... just love. thank you! <squish>

  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    Noelle,

    You are truly an amazing person. What a lovely gift you are to all of us.

    Happy New Years to all, or as Noelle states a super 2000 and fine! 

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Hey gals! Happy New Year to all of you!!!!XXXX I don't know where to start in the 'catch up'. Was Christmas/Hanukkah more special this year than ever before? I wasn't imagining things, was I? I cannot explain how 'connected' I felt every time I walked the 2 kms through the hot dry bush between my bros' homes. I thought of each of you and prayed for you and could not wait for the tick of midnight for the new year. It's over. Whatever happens this year will be nowt compared to what we have been through. Noelle..what can I say? Perfect...that's what! Despite the bf hand and foot pains from the femara and the oxygen thief (not sure what causing the theft), I feel fantastic. I feel as though there is a blazing light lighting our way and all kinds of interesting stuff yet to be revealed. I've got a kind of new alertness going on. We had a great Christmas..WAY too much food and WAY too much alcohol and HUGE laughs until we cried. I have a very funny family (and friends) so I have arrived home today (to Tasmania) with this peaceful, peaceful satisfaction washing over me, which comes from being very happy. I opened the gate to the happiest dog and cat in the world..how cool is my life. I pray so hard for RanD..I worry so much about the Fecking Fifteen...Love you, girlXXX Re recon: yep, I'm a starter..probably May for the new boob and December for the reduction. The only thing that worries me is capsular contraction. That would take the gloss off things a bit......Otter, get out of there while your blood is still flowing! And what is a cardinal?? Love y'all. I'm off to fall into bed like one of those happy, happy worn out kids with new flannelette pyjamas. XXX PS Let's have a talk about hair soon. I'm beside myself about that as well. MINE GREW BACK!!! 

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Kerry,

    A cardinal is a beautiful red bird. Males are the red ones. Females not as colorful.

    Male                              Female

     

  • Gracie713
    Gracie713 Member Posts: 302
    edited January 2009

    Noelle-WOW-You put everything so eloquently!  Thank you so much.

    Kerry-I have a little bit of patchy hair-DH suggested that I shave what I have so that it can all grow in evenly.  Don't know how that is possible, since some hasn't started to grow!  Besides, I as proud of what little hair I have.  The other day, my FIL had to rub my head for luck and said that maybe now it would start growing faster.  

    I too, have been thinking about RanD, hoping that she will check in soon.

    Happy 2000 and fine!  May it be our best year ever!

  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited January 2009

    Happy New Years Everyone!

    I started the new year with a tummy virus so Ive been a little low key for a couple of days!

    Kristy

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited January 2009

    Karin, it's so good to see you again, even if it's just for the holidays (i.e., when school is out!).  Your pics add so much color to this thread.

    Kristy, I thought I was getting a tummy virus, too--I had indigestion for 3 days straight.  Then I discovered it was from eating too many pieces of fudge and pralines and chocolate-covered pretzels etc.  Rather than cut back on the Christmas snacks, I think I'll go to WalMart and get some Pepcid.  :)

    Gracie, I thought about trimming my hair to even it out, but I chickened out and decided to let it do it's thing.  After all, that's what I did during chemo--I just let it come out.  Mine is really wavy now.  Still not very long, but it's an interesting blend of colors.  My dh tells me it looks like I've spent hundreds of dollars to tint it and curl it to make it look this way on purpose.  He's so sweet...

    Kerry, how's the new house?  Peaceful, I hope--now you can settle in after traveling and celebrating elsewhere.  Whenever I look outside and see all the snow and cold, I have to keep reminding myself that you're in the middle of summer.  Just thinking about it makes me feel warmer.

    Noelle, that was such a wonderful letter.  It is all so true.  My life this past year would have been so much more lonely and scary, if I hadn't discovered this wonderful group of May 2008 women.

    rock, I'm glad to hear Pam got those teeth for Christmas.  Are you and your sister having fun?  Did you go all-out for New Year's Eve (like the impression the rest of us get from watching TV), or are you more likely to party with a small group of friends, or even just stay home?  Small group of friends, I would think...

    Hi also to Jean, Linda, Sable/Jen, Roxi, Adrienne, Sue, angels, eddie, Cristine, RanD (((hug))), plus Lauren and "crazydaisy" and roberta and all our other adoptees.

    I hope this year is looking brighter and more promising than the one we just finished a few days ago.

    Big hugs to all...

    otter 

  • ewesterman
    ewesterman Member Posts: 417
    edited January 2009

    Noelle, Lovely words on your blog. Thank you so much. My blog for New Year's Eve was a good-bye to 2000 hate but written by Dara Horn. It would resonate with most of you....google Eddie Westerman and you'll find it if you wish. Your words are eloquent.

    Jen, Santa is running late but probably bringing a telescope instead of binoculars. Hold on to it for next year if you think that is more appropriate.

    Karin, What a pleasure to see your words, thoughts, pics, etc.

    We stayed up to midnight playing lots of games. Hey, all, here are my movie pick in order of favorites

    Slumdog Millionaire (intense and violent but worth it -- very worth it.... it's a great story with a great ending)

    Milk (Sean Penn is brilliant)

    Benjamin Button -- if you ever read The Confessions of Max Tivoli, this is a similar story. Well acted. Well done.

    Bolt -- okay, my kids were "too cool" to go see this because they are into the adult movies, but Marty and I went and thought it was adorable. Happy 2009 to all of you.

    I do not miss my ovaries at all. My hair is starting to wave but it is subtle so I will have to wait to see if it really does wave. Herceptin on Monday. A new year.....a fresh year. 

    Take care.

  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Am I the only one that their hair came back in straight? I normally have very curly hair and this is just weird! And I have a ton more grey too dang it! Asked my gf today if she thought it would be ok yet for me to go without a hat  (she is brutally honest) . She told me she can't believe I am still wearing it and told me to ditch it. It is still so thin looking to me in the front. What happened to the promise of thicker hair damn it!

    No time to chat much, being on a cleaning binge of all things this week. Tossed out 5 trash bags out of my teeny closet yesterday. Man it felt good! Cleaning must be replacing baking this week ROFL!

    All my love!

  • ewesterman
    ewesterman Member Posts: 417
    edited January 2009

    My usually very wavy hair seems somewhat straight too my herceptin sister....but I detect a wave. We were late on our chemo starts and both are dealing with herceptin...perhaps that is an issue? I will try to update a hair photo soon. Sleep well dear women.

  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited January 2009

    Jen,

    My hair is straight! It was also straight before chemo- a lot of body and no curl was how my hairdresser described it- I was hoping for curls but no sign of them yet!

    Kristy

  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    Mine seems straight as well. Maybe it is the herceptin? Muga Monday. Company holiday party tonight. I thought about trying to find a [pair of those cute ear things attached to a hand band to wear. My daughter suggested a hand band like a baby wears. I tried to spike it up but its still too short. Have a great weekend all, seems like a Sunday to me. Taking down the tree tomorrow. I hate to move past the holidays since they were so extra special to me this year. 

    Mary 

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    rock,

    When I was planning on making it up there to go skating with you I assumed it would be earlier in the day and planned on leaving the city around the time you are meeting for pizza. Guess I'll catch you when you get back from S.A.

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    When my hair first started growing in it was straight for about a month and a half. It is now curly in spots and wavy in others. I have cowlicks that I never had before. I keep trying different ways to control it but haven't found anything I like yet. I'm just thankful I have hair. Will try and post some pics of my wild hair this weekend.

    Editted to say I now understand the meaning of BED HEAD. And I thought helmet head was bad.

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 1,224
    edited January 2009

    My hair is straight, and I'm not doing herceptin.....it was straight before.  Seems too be coming in the same color as before too...weird.  BUT I'LL TAKE IT!!! I have ditched the hats andlove the feeling

    Ms>Karin, good to hear from you.

    Sue

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Lovely day here, girls. Warm, breezy (well...windy, probably). I'm drinking tea and eating those exquisite Belgian biscuits that people give you when they drop by over Christmas. I walked Fibber on a new track today, and the walk is a bit challenging and over 30 mins long. Perfect workout for me, but I am still concerned about the oxygen thief. Any theories, girls?  I am loving my hair, although I am becoming a bit alarmed by how thick it is on top. I might have to become an Eraser Head, or develop the full Stray Cats duck-tail hair do. Not a good look for a 50 yo gal. My favorite part of the hair is the major whorl at the back near the top of my skull. It is so cool, but is disappearing in the thickness now. I also have a big Lick in the front, which might explain why I have never had one bit of control over my fringe! Whatever happens though, I am going to redefine 'chemo-curl'. When I get out of the shower I feel my hair is laughing at me behind it's hand: it's all over place and it's only about an inch long!! Oh the irony if we all start complaining about our hair!! Are we all going 'topless' now? Love to you all. XX

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 1,224
    edited January 2009

    Hello,  been reading but noot posting this week.  Don't really know why.  I miss Rock, and Karin (your message made me cry) Noelle (ditto on your blog)...I miss having the time to post--only 87 days until I retire (not that I'm countingLaughing)

    Love you all and miss the daily cameraderie

     Sue

  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Sue,

    You said "I miss having the time to post" I know exactly what you're saying. I sometimes feel guilty when I let too much time pass before taking the time to check in. Otter hit it right on the head when she knew I was on more this week because of the Holidays and me being off from school.

    In a way it is a good thing that we don't have as much time to come here. It means our lives are getting back to normal. During chemo we had way too much time to be home and getting online gave us something to do that didn't require that much energy. More importantly we needed each other during those times so we took the time and put other things on hold.

    Wants and Needs. You all use to fall under the needs category. I needed you to get through. Since moving forward in this journey you have now fallen into the wants category. I want to continue a friendship through the bond we have made.

    Doing these rough economic times I have been putting needs ahead of wants. I think for the New Year I will treat myself and make this want a priority. I will make the time to check in with my girls. Love ya!

  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited January 2009

    Wow...every time I check in, I am reminded of why I am still checking in, even if it is not every day (or two or three times a day!) like a few weeks ago. 

    Karin - It is good to see you again and thanks for the lovely sentiment!!  And that was a great way to put it - Needs and Wants.  I, too, needed, sometimes desperately, to be here every day.  I have mixed feelings about losing that need.  But it sounds like we are all on the same "page" still. 

    Noelle - What a beautiful way to sum up our time together.  And did I see something on your blog about "writing a book on Wii etiquette"?  I'm right with you on that one...sheesh...

    My family probably has no idea how much you all saved my sanity during those months!  Like many others have said, but I need to say it also, every one of you on this thread has been a godsend.  I feel your personalities come out through your writings and coming in here is like going home - it's warm, comfortable and inviting.  Thank you all for making it that way.  I don't do this often on here, but {{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}} to everyone!

  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    I agree, life is full of wants and needs and bc has changed my whole perspective on life.  I have less wants than ever before. Thanks Karin for your enlightenment. 

    I'm about to sit down and go over my medical expenses for tax purposes. This should be interesting... 

  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Funny how we are all part of the same ebb and flow! I am feeling particularly cruisy at the moment, although less so today because the weather is COLD! (Not like USA cold, though..) I remember during chemo being awake and crazy for two or three nights/days at a time and writing heaps on here. For months I felt as though this forum was the only effective lifeline I had. The chemo days were such a blur..and now I can't quite believe it happened at all. Anyone else feel like that? There's a reason we all 'met' and I'm really looking forward to the revelations.As Cristine said: a godsend. Godsent.  Sue...RETIREMENT!! It's just..there! I used to count the days (perhaps not quite as accurately as you!) but now I imagine working for another decade.  (Did I really just say that out loud???) Perhaps it's part of the warrior-princess thang. I'm still posting normally because I'm on holidays, but I do feel busier. Maybe it confirms my own dogma that cancer is an interruption, nothing more, and now we are back in the mill!  Roxi, how motivated are you to do that! I wouldn't know where to look for the papers..and I can't blame a house-move for that!! I might get myself into Medicare for a couple of claims today, though, to keep crackers in the pantry. Since we got back from my family visit I haven't had much interest in food. Unsurprisingly, my a$$ shows little evidence of that lack of interest.....XXX 

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