Stupid things people have said since I was told I have cancer!

Nope moody, you aren't being overly sensitive about your hair.  They don't understand and what comes out of their mouths sounds insensitive.  People mean well but sheesh......enough already!  I got so tired of hearing how good I looked when I was bald.  I kept thinking.......did I look that awful with hair?  Now that I have hair albeit thinning thx to Arimidex, all I hear is "no, your hair isn't thin".  Do people think I am blind?  Keep spiking it girl.  You'll be going for a trim before you know it.  S.

Wow, in reading this great thread, I am blown away by some of the awful stuff people can say

My experience definitely pales in comparison with most everyone's here, but I will never forget it.  Because I had a fairly "easy" time with chemo, I continued to work through my treatments.  My job involves computerized school bus routing and I deal with all levels of people from school administrators to school bus drivers (my favorites!).  Other than this one incident that I am about to describe, I had lots of support, love, and help from my co-workers and administrators.  One day, the lady in charge of our exceptional children/special education program came into my office for some bus stop information.  She knew of my bc and after a quick and insincere "how are you?", she asked "so, when will your hair grow back?"  I calmy told her "I'm not worried about my hair growing back as long as the cancer doesn't" and she quickly exited my office. And to think she is in charge of our exceptional children's education and welfare...

Good grief moody.........that's a pretty bad one.  I hope you told her where sympathy lies in the dictionary.  People never cease to amaze me, but also in good ways.  Just not this time I guess.

Hugs.

These posts are crazy!  I dont really have a story but everyone I see says to me at one point in conversation "you look good" or "you look better than last time I saw you".. HUH?  I thought I looked the same, I never really got all pale and sick looking through treatment so when people say that, it makes me think that they are expecting me to look "sick"..

I also got a double masectomy w/out reconstruction and you wouldnt believe all the "jokes" people has made like this one girl said to me one day, "at least you dont have to fool with putting a bra on everyday".. UGH.. Like that is such a hard chore to do!

Mine is a funny one: A friend was asking me about going into Dana Farber in Boston for chemo, specifically about the traffic and parking (a problem in that area for sure.) When I told her that Dana Farber had a parking garage for patients, so I didn't have to worry about trying to find parking, and that it was actually cheap (by Boston standards) her response was, "Lucky!"

Um, I guess that's one way of looking at it...

So today at church a guy came up to me and said "Hey!  Your hair is really coming in now!  Good for you, that is great!" 

This actually made me feel better than any other hair comment I have had!  I felt like it was more genuine than the usual "oh, your hair is adorable"........

But if any of you reading this board is anything like me, what bothers me one day, I could care less about the next day.  My poor husband gave up trying to say anything to make me feel better, cause some days EVERYTHING makes me mad.

Sharon, that is exaclty what I was thinking.  His obsevation that my hair was growing was perfect, and left NO room for me to second guess what he meant. 

My mood is like a rollercoaster on nitrous! 

I was thinking about making a shirt that says "I survived chemo......but my hair didn't" 

Ok, mine is a funny one.  My step MIL had come to visit and help during my chemo.  She and FIL had flown from several states away....it was the first time she had ever been on a plane..that is how much she loved me and wanted to help. 

After making several trips up and down the stairs (which she was not used to), she was about to go somewhere with DH (at the time..LOL).  She asked me if I had a hair brush in my purse.  Sitting on the couch, bald as a baby's butt, I just cracked up laughing and managed to say, 'do I look like I would have a hair brush in my purse?'.  She was horrified that she asked that....we still laugh about it today.

Hope to make someone smile today,

Bethie

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A Good Friend who pretty much forgot about me since my dx.

Anyway its time for her to schedule her Mammo & she said this year she will be xtra terrified now that reality has hit.  (im not sure what her Reality is-unless it is not talking to me)

I told her Reality is when they tell you 'You Have Breast Cancer'.

Pam

I've had a friend say "I understand, my daughter had a breast reduction and it was rough".  I have heard that a reduction can be brutal, but really don't know.  My husband even said "if you want to talk to someone, talk to my sister because she had a breast reduction".   Did they lose one or both breasts?  NO.  I just can't understand how someone can compare it to having breast cancer and losing both breasts.... I really can't.

I, of course, said nothing.

2NewBoobs, you said this:

"I've had a friend say 'I understand, my daughter had a breast reduction and it was rough'. ... My husband even said 'if you want to talk to someone, talk to my sister because she had a breast reduction'. 

Wow.  Like you, I have some questions to ask those people who think a breast reduction (a cosmetic procedure!) is comparable to a diagnosis of breast cancer.  1) Were the surgical margins adequate, or did they have to go back for one or more re-excisions or maybe even a full mastectomy?  2) Did they take out any lymph nodes during her surgery, which would put her at risk of developing lymphedema?  3) Did she have to have radiation treatments, or was the surgical procedure enough?  4) How did she handle chemo?...Oh, that's right--she didn't need chemotherapy.  5) Is she lying awake at night, worrying that the tissue they removed from her breast(s) will grow back--perhaps in her bones, or her liver, or her brain?

Sheesh.

otter