Starting Chemo May 2008

Ok saw my onc yesterday - told him about my butt and mouth - had to do some tests - looking for maybe paratste.  Got 3 different kinds of mouth wash - yeah!

Things will get better! Only two more treatments! 

Roxi - Can't believe they told you to quit your multi-vitamins - ours told us to get on one!

Sue - keeping fingers crossed - nice to see all of us worried for you!

Sue P

Red Deer

Randie -- Friends bringing food? YES. That is the spirit.  When we're wiped out, it makes sense to conserve our energy for the stuff that only we can do (e.g., bedtime stories). If folks are willing to cook (or restaurants are willing to deliver!), what a good thing to let 'em do.

I hope Sr. Dolor leaves you alone in another day or two.  Saturday was un-fun but today? All's well.

Gracie and Mary -- I'm hustling out the door but want to wish you CHEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tomorrow.  (Mary, last one? WOO-HOO!)

(Am gonna download these songs, btw. Welcome suggestions.)

Hi, all--

Roxi, Noelle, et al., I don't remember exactly what was said to me about vitamins during chemo.  I think the message was that a typical "one-a-day" vitamin was OK, but "supplements" were not.  So, extra stuff beyond the daily requirements were a bad idea during chemo.  Note that the same holds true during rads, for the same reason.

The reason is, as rock said, the effect the anti-oxidants have on the mechanism of the chemo.  Some chemo drugs work by creating oxidants that damage the tumor cells.  When you take a drug that is an anti-oxidant, the effectiveness of the chemo is reduced.  That's the theory, anyway.  I do recall reading a journal article about it, and apparently the whole issue is still somewhat controversial; but I was worried enough that I didn't even take my one-a-day tablets on the days of my chemo infusions +/- a couple of days.  I continued to take Citracal and Vitamin D during chemo, but I think I skipped those on the peri-chemo days, too.

Randi, you said, "They have no clue that they need to think about dinner in the morning so there is something at night."  Do what???  We're supposed to think about dinner 12 hours ahead of time?  At our house, the strategy (mine, anyway) is to keep enough stuff on hand so that menu decisions can be made on the spur of the moment.  Some of our friends who live in town go grocery shopping every day.  I couldn't deal with the hassle.  My dh and I take turns fixing supper.  Most days, I don't even remember whose turn it is until around 5 o'clock (or when he reminds me). 

Rock, I also had an abnormal PAP and colposcopy a few years ago.  (Colposcopy--is that how it's spelled?  Isn't that a term that deserves a funny euphemism?)  Maybe it was 10 years ago.  I don't remember.  Who cares... 

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I heard somewhere about chemo messing up tissues enough so that a PAP can come back abnormal if you have it done during chemo.  I don't know how long after chemo we should wait.  I'm exactly a year overdue for mine, but my onco told me a couple of months ago not to sweat it--she said to wait; there's no hurry.

OTOH, there was a wet-behind-the-ears 4th-yr med student working with my onco surgeon at my 6-month recheck exam yesterday.  When I told him it had been 2 years since my last PAP, he said (very sternly), "Well, I would strongly recommend that you get it done!"  Pissant.  Just to get even, I made him explain the mechanism of action of aromatase inhibitors in post-menopausal women.  Ha.

A few minutes after he managed to muddle through that assignment, he made me get up on the exam table.  As I was climibing up, he said, "So you used to be a college professor?"  Then he asked me to untie the top of my gown; and he told me to raise my arms up in the air (nekkid from the waist up, of course).  I guess that was to see if my right boob was symmetrical with the mast scar on my left chest wall?  Does that mean he won?  (I wasn't offended, 'cause my onco surgeon asks me to do exactly the same thing as a part of her exam at each visit; and she repeated everything he did when she came in the room.)  (BTW, I knew my dh was there on the other side of the curtain, in case things got weird.)

ChemoooooOOOOooooo to everybody who's up this week!

otter 

(more about the results of the 6-month followup exam later...) 

Sue: YES....I am so glad for ya. If I stressed this much over your scan I most certainly will need to be sedated for the entire duration form mine when they come up. Hope the cat bite doesn't interfere with you wearing your CFM pumps. HunkyD

YAY Sue!!  Its a good day, indeed!

CHEMOOOOooooOOOO!!!

Noelle,

Shalom rav al yisrael amcha tasim le'olam (2x)

Ki atah hu melech adon.....trust me, Noelle, I have known this song longer than I remember and I lead it at our temple every other week on guitar...bet you all didn't know I lead services on guitar...feels funky on my mastectomy. And we will sing it together when we meet someday.

Okay, Sue, glad we're all waiting...hoping the news is good.

Adrienne, beautiful poem.

Jen/Sable, my eyebrows and eyelashes are falling out all at once as well. I feel like an alien but my hair is definitely growing in on the rest of my head.

I, too, am pathalogically open (in case you haven't noticed). Still, all day today I kept thinking of Rock....wondering what I could say or do to make her feel this space was safe and sacred. Hmmmm. I'll keep thinking. 

ranD, so sorry about se...they suck. I am bracing for Thursday's third taxol. First two were rough but I am not sure they were extra rough second time because it was also first herceptin. Who knows? This week I have them together so I'll not be able to sort which is which. Still, I think back to those pounding A/C headaches I used to have...I think back to shingles and that unbelieveable chronic wrist pain and I'm thinking we are all moving forward and soon, these will all be memories. BUT NOT SOON ENOUGH, EH? 

On vitamins, I never took any...now I take a B6 (because of you all); glutamine by the zillions (oncologist requested) and a fish oil every day (stage 4 cancer bully requested).  

No rash. Wrist pain subsided with no meds helping. No headaches. Only food tastes a little funky. Counting the days until I can say, one more chemo then no more. Working hard on that pole dance photo and outfit....will I still be beautiful without my eyebrows and eyelashes? Sigh. What about that fat hanging off of my butt; I mean my thighs; I mean my tummy;  Talk to you soon. 

Friends on their way over. This'll be quick with more to follow. Okay, first -- Noelle.  Her son died in his sleep? My God.  How is your friend doing? How are you? I'm glad she has you, I really am.

Otter, that pissant? Bless his heart.  (Did I say that right?!) Is it wrong to laugh out loud at your description of having to put your hands in the air in the presence of the Pissant? I just imagined breaking otu in that "hip" song "Put your hands in the air like you just don't care...Whoop!whoop!whoop!"

They've decided to let my weird Pap result go because -- I love the casualness with which they inform me of these things -- they will do a D&C when they remove my ovaries anyway and will test the tissue then to see if cancer's involved.  "Oh! Okay then!"

Sable -- a raise? Put your hands in the air, whoopwhoopwhoop! cuz that is fantastic.  Congrats to you.

Eddie -- you play guitar? That's it. We're all descending on your front steps this fall.  I kind of play guitar but not well.  I just noodle along to whatever anyone else is doing... (I don't know many chords; I just know the scales.) What do the words mean, btw?

Everybody: You are the best. I am no longer freaked out. You have restored me to the "tree of trust."  I wish I could say something really private and personal so that you would know that for sure but I am coming up short.  Oddly, I'm kind of glad it happened because it made me realize that I was taking your support and compassion for granted. So grateful to you.

Friends here. must go. CHEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

xoxox 

Sue, so happy that it is just granola. May good news keep coming your way. FOREVER. 

eddie~ you have hair coming in?!?!?! girlfriend I am so jealous (I'm jealous alot in here lately LOL) I keep staring in the mirror multiple times a day looking for signs of life. So far nada. I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever come back or will I be bald forever? I told hubs the moment that you can tell I have hair again I am showing the world, whether they care or not.

Ran~ I'll be right there for the hotdogs! lol

Sable - love the new av!

Noelle - Terrible about your friend's son.  Tell her we are channeling hugs her way.

Otter - I love it.  Only you would (and could!) think to make someone explain the "mechanism of action of aromatase inhibitors in post-menopausal women" just to get even.  You crack me up!!  And I was told the same re: the multivitamin - only a "regular" one a day with no "extras".  Which is rather hard to find nowadays, might I add. 

Rock - I have also heard the same as Otter about having a Pap done during chemo - throws them off.  I wouldn't worry too much about it right now.  O.K., just read your other post - "they will do a D&C when they remove my ovaries anyway and will test the tissue then to see if cancer's involved" - "Thanks it's not like I'm worried or anything!"  WTH?!  (Shaking my head...)  I am so glad you still feel safe here, btw.

Sue - Wheeeeeeee!!!!!  (Running at you and giving you a great, big hug!)

Randie - Call the church anyway.  Get the help.  You deserve it.  My church friends have carried me through most of the chemo weekends.  It is a HUGE relief not to have to worry about dinner on those days. 

Jean - Good news about your mom!

Roxi and Gracie - Chemoooooooo!!!!  Waiting for pictures, Roxi/Mary!

I am trying to watch the beam event finals, but damn Brian Williams!  He announced who won on the evening news tonight before the broadcast!!  WTH, people!?  We're still watching here!  Moving on...I have also found my replacement for Xanax - KAHLUA!!  Dh brought home a bottle the other night and I haven't had it in years.  I am not a beer or wine person, but this!!!  Yikes.  I will have to pace myself...

Noelle - So sorry about your friend's son.  I am glad that you are there for your friend.  Hugs to both of you.  Jean

WTF, no candy corn, CANCER YOU ARE TOO CRUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! running out to buy some now....will check my jelly belly labels tooo..

what a totally f+++cked up world if we have to give up candy!!!!

randie

Hope this is okay to post, one of my friends sent this to cheer me up today!  This attittude can be found in some onco docs as well, huh?

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing!!, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer' or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Oh, that's a good one!  Does the peel-off label really say that?  Sounds like the moron in their marketing department must have trained with the people who wrote that silly booklet all the girls were given in my 5th grade class.

Speaking of one of the good things about menopause...  I had severe cramps and other mildly awful PMS symptoms every month for about .... (shhhh!  otter is counting on her toes) .... 35 years.  Then, with the onset of menopause, all those symptoms vanished.  There were obvious benefits that I don't need to point out here.  One that I really appreciate is the fact that the people in the world around me are no longer taking "stupid pills" every 3 or 4 weeks.

Sable what IS that creature in your avatar? 

Kahlua works for me.  My favorite configuration is a scoop of vanilla ice cream, half a jigger of rum, and half a jigger of Kahlua--blend until creamy.  Say, Kahlua doesn't count as alcohol, does it?

otter 

that's the back of my head with a postit happy fave stuck on.... I was having a "moment" last nite ROFL