How About A Stage 4 Gallows Humor Thread?

ParakeetsRule

Every time I hear or see someone say "that can cause cancer" I think to myself "been there done that, not worried!" 😆

Nkb

So nice to get that worry out of the way!

amontro

I've seen some movies with the same theme:

The Stage 4 person is about to light a cigarette, and the friend says "You'll get cancer", and the guy says "Too Late".

ParakeetsRule

My grandfather apparently smoked throughout his cancer diagnosis and treatment, until his death. It drove my grandma nuts but his doctors were like "well, if it helps him feel a little better..."

amontro

I heard this one years ago:

"I'm so sorry you have cancer! You have to be positive."

"Yes. I'm positive I have cancer."

ParakeetsRule

Haha!

I had a funny (to me) thought recently. With my now significantly reduced life expectancy, I feel like I've joined the Elder Members cohort of the family and skipped the whole middle age part. I'm gonna be joining grandma and dad for the post-dinner naps at family gatherings and working on wills and advanced directives....

Nkb

Parakeets- haha- yes

In my neighborhood- the new people who buy houses are young and when I run into people who have been here forever we talk for awhile and I realize it is "old people talk"-

seeing a derm recently he said "you have bigger fish to fry". doesn't everyone have bigger fish to fry than a pre-cancerous skin lesion? I doubt he says that to his other patients. Cancer is always such an outlier!

ParakeetsRule

I read a hilarious article today! It's written by a woman with Stage 4 lung cancer but her experience is similar to having breast cancer. "Not everyone in my life found it hilarious that I had 'Not dead, just resting' piped onto my birthday cake." 😆

"The end of my life was killing me": https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2022/03/11/lung-can...

Sunshine99

I guess my post didn't go through. Good one, parakeetsrule, is what I said. Thanks for sharing it.

Carol

amontro

I've just unearthed another old tee shirt that says:

"I'm not doing s**t today"

x"Mission accomplished"

Sadiesservant

Love this thread. I had to chuckle over the discussion of things that cause cancer. I've mentioned this before on another thread but several years ago I met with a pharmacist at the cancer agency prior to starting an oral chemo. We were running through the possible side effects and considerations and when she got to the section on alcohol consumption she noted that it would not impact the treatment, paused and then said... but there is a considerable body of evidence indicating that alcohol consumption increases your risk of developing breast cancer. I just looked at her and said "Well, that ship has sailed." Cheers!

exbrnxgrl

Not a gallows humor story but amusing. I was recently pm’ing with another member. We were catching up on our personal lives and I mentioned that I had adopted a dog several months ago. I was walking said dog, Pumpkin, when I wondered why I said I adopted a dog. Well of course I adopted a dog because I sure as heck didn’t give birth to one 😂.

nopink2019

Sunshine99

nopink2019, I can't see the image you posted.

nopink2019

Surgeon speaking to patient in bed. "It's just a simple little operation, but we want you to pay now."

Struck me as funny as I'm having a scope next week to see why one kidney isn't working well and what the new image is that appeared on last CT.

Sunshine99

Haha! That's a good one, nopink2019!

Anonymous

I watched "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on a flight yesterday (I don' t have HBO so don't get to watch it often). Season 11 episode 3 called "The mini bar" has an arc of the episode where at a dinner party, "Stage IV wisdom" is discussed. All at the dinner are in agreement that anyone with stage IV cancer assumes an oracle-like ability and any advice they bestow MUST be followed. It was hysterical to me. Now, I don't know if a non stage IV person recommended it to me if I would still find it so funny but who knows? They also agree that earlier stage cancer patients do NOT have the same oracle abilities....eh stage 3? Maybe 20% of their advice is worthy (according to Larry David and friends).

nopink2019

I've decided the remake of this site might be gallows humor! Hardly a place to get advice or support anymore as so many have given up on it...probably found support elsewhere.

exbrnxgrl

nopink,

Good one

Spookiesmom

hope the “ powers that be” see that. Totally agree.

Elderberry

Will this do? Laminate it. There is even a little one for your key chain

edge_of_no_return

aprilgirl1 haha darnit i wish i had HBO as well because Larry David just cracks me up to no end. would love to see that episode

Kikomoon

Aprilgirl,that is too funny! I often find myself giving more unsolicited advice now with Stage IV, after all, I do have all the answers now :

cowgal

Elderberry- I love the cancer card! I told my sister that had a different type of cancer that she needed to play the Cancer Card the other day. Now I can send this to her so she can get it laminated.

Kikomoon

elderberry - I need that! I’m thinking of playing it at the airport tonight.

Elderberry

I think I actually card on the BCO Forum back in 2019. I loved it. I kept it

Anonymous

Elderberry, I LOVE THAT! Need to print and laminate. We have earned it.

When I had my first bout of breast cancer (stage 1 ) my younger sister who lives 2 states away from me eventually told me she used my cancer to get out of a speeding ticket, request from the PTA to be a "room mom" and to get out of a social event. GEEZ! I didn't use it at all.

Kikomoon - I find myself being more direct about my opinion now. Might be my age or it might be the cancer. Who knows?

The week or weeks with BC.org down was awful. It is better now although still not the same speed as prior to the upgrade. It also logs me out if I am idle which makes me think a lot of the "upgrade" was for security reasons but I dont really know.

amontro

That's the card I have in my wallet. I wrote a few posts ago what it said, but I didn't know how to capture it, so I wrote all the words lol. I bought mine online, they sent quite a few and I gave one to my cousin - she's ok now.

I didn't want this thread to fall through the cracks, so the only addition I can make is that I tell people: "I put the "fun" in funeral."

nopink2019

Tina2