How About A Stage 4 Gallows Humor Thread?

ParakeetsRule

I sent that meme to my older sister the other day and she responded with:

7. Winter

ParakeetsRule

This made me cackle out loud today.

SeeQ

Kikomoon- I love it! I'm not quite there, but close!

Sadiesservant

That is priceless Parakeets! Brings to mind so many managers I have known in my career…

Can totally relate to the driving/leaving the house thing as well. I thought it was just me but lunches seem so much more civilized and manageable than the thoughts of an evening out. 😱

SeeQ

Oops!! Sorry, Parakeetsrule! I gave credit to the wrong person!

amontro

kikomoon -

Ditto!!!

Kikomoon

I just had a funny incident I thought I would share. I’ve had a lot energy lately thank goodness, but I pushed it too hard today. I walked 1.5 miles and decided to jog 1/2 a block after NOT jogging in I don’t know, maybe in a year or more..Did some cleaning, dishes, boiled some tortellini for DH, *almost* finished a leek soup, made a sardine salad, I know, I know, gross, but I’m trying to eat so so healthy.

Well then I just stopped. Like I could not do anything - the fatigue came on like a ton of bricks. Y’all know what I’m talkin bout. I went to the couch and started crying that I just couldn’t finish what I started, just done, so frustrated that my body couldn’t keep up.

DH said what’s wrong?? I say, sobbing, “I can’t move anymore and I don’t wanna eat sardines” He says what? Why do you have to eat sardines? I say because I’m trying to eat healthy and now …nowI have nothing, sobbing. Then I ask, still sobbing, if he could spare a few of his tortellini, maybe 5?….He says of course! What else? I said, blubbering, “m…m…m…maybe a cup of soup and a p..p…piece of bread?” at which point we just both started laughing hysterically. What is wrong with me!

Sunshine99

Oh, kikomoon, I'm laughing as I read your post. It's so sad but so funny. I would totally be on the couch crying about not wanting to eat sardines, and I can just hear my DH saying, "Huh???"

ParakeetsRule

Sardines?! Ew! 😂

amontro

Kikomoon -

I thoroughly understand. Some mornings I am hell on wheels and cook and bake up a storm. Every now and then I will tackle a new and challenging recipe and, all of a sudden, I'll ask myself "Why am I doing this?" I'll feel worn out and realize that I don't like what I'm making. And guess who has to clean up the mess, and store the food?

I haven't made anything from scratch in about 2 weeks, but I have a freezer full of healthy food that I'm uninterested to eat.

illimae

Kikomoon, there are so many healthy things to eat without subjecting yourself to sardines. I literally gagged a bit when I read your post, bleh… But, I totally get, I’ve been there. The way you describe asking for bread though, sort of pitiful but hilarious, lol, been there too.

Sunshine99

Sardines for my DH used to be camping food. He liked the kind in mustard sauce. I think we had a can in our garage pantry for about 20+ years. I finally tossed them. Maybe I should've kept them. Oh well, too late now.

Spookiesmom

As a teen I worked at a pizza joint. Sardine could be added, but if they were, we had to use a different cutter and wash it after use. Nasty things.

Sadiesservant

Laughing at the conversation about healthy food. I agree... sardines? Ewwwww. It made me think about a conversation that I participated in online with a leading oncologist. He was discussing bone mets but someone asked him if he had any recommendations for "healthy foods" that we should consider eating. He responded... I want you to eat crap!!! His point was that for many of us, maintaining weight is an issue and he wanted us to eat whatever appealed to us rather than limiting our intake to things we thought would be healthy and help us fight the cancer. It was very funny at the time. :-)

Kikomoon

lol. I know sardines have a reputation.I just couldn't handle ANYTHING last night, including those little suckers, all at once, and the situation was so sopitiful it ended up hilarious with DH cracking up and me cry-laughing hysterically.

I agree with eating crap too, have to keep the weight on! I only just recently got up the energy/desire to eat many veggies and healthy grains. I just pushed it too far yesterday with the damn sardines, or “feesh", as I Ike to say!!! :-D

Anonymous

sardines are very nutritious and I actually used to love them on pumpernickel bread with mustard. But now, I cant eat them anymore. Don’t torture yourself!

I am careful about what I eat because I need to maintain my weight downward, not upward. But moderation is key! And its hard to stick to doing something you hate

Dancemom

sardines!!! Throw them this way and I'll hand them over to DH!! Actually, he sometimes fries the fresh ones if he can get good ones. Those I can eat. (Frying makes everything tasty)

In 9th grade, we all rode over to pizza hut (?) And ordered a few pizzas- one kid wanted 1/2 with anchovies. He had his 2 slices, and then we had to pick the rest of the anchovies off. Somehow a large coke became their swimming pool and it got sillier from there. We didn't get kicked out though, like I was afraid.

Anchovies. What a fraught subject!

SF-Cakes

Oh my, Kikomoon, thank you for your Sardines Post (I think it will become infamous here)! I'm glad you and your husband could ultimately laugh hysterically. I can definitely relate to that feeling of frustration, hitting a wall, sorrow, exhaustion, not being able to do what I used to...ugh.

Also, tortellini is basically health food. 😄

exbrnxgrl

I actually like sardines but I rarely eat them as I never actually crave them. They are define part of my emergency food supply. I’m a moderation proponent. I ate quite a healthy diet before bc but I have no problem with enjoying anything I want just in moderation if it’s something like sweets. I am not a vegetarian or vegan but don’t eat much meat however if I crave a steak or hamburger I thoroughly enjoy them. I know that stricter diets work for some but food has always been a pleasure and I am not very good at following restrictive food plans but I know that for others it is comforting to feel that they are actively doing something.

amontro

Back to Gallows Humor -

This morning I took my adult daughter to the vet with her cat who was limping.

On the way out of the examining room and into the waiting room, people were shouting at me to "Lookout, there's a puddle!"

I immediately thought my pants legs were wet because I had just used the restroom and dripped or was leaking! It turns out that someone's pet had an accident", so it wasn't me (not this time).

Cat is ok; it just had a sprained ankle.

terri-c

Sunshine99

terri, that's a good one! I read something about taking the bouquet off the casket at a funeral, and throwing it into the crowd. Whoever catches it is next!

cowgal

I had to renew my driver's license today and had the choice of a 4 year or a 8 year renewal. I had to think about it for a little while and finally thought that I would go for the 8 year and have a contest with my new driver's license to see who will expire last!

Sadiesservant

OMG Cowgal. Mine is up for renewal as well but I don't have a choice. Five years seems like a good contest. 🤪 Ha!

Edited to correct your screen name.

Kikomoon

Lol amontro! Yeah I would wonder if I was leaking too! When first diagnosed, my friend brought me pee pads and diapers leftover from her mom’s treatment. She had a poo incidence once and that was enough. Luckily I have been able to make it to the toilet in time throughout this shit show.

That’s funnyTerri c and and sunshine! Sounds like a good contest/challenge Cowgal and Sadies. Hell, I just hope to makes it through this year :-/

Typing with left hand only, I may have sprain my right thumb. We got home with bags of groceries, mouthwash bottle dropped to the floor and the lid split, spilling 1/2 the bottle all over the kitchen floor and under the oven. I dove for it, cans of salmon crashing down on me. Somehow my thumb got involved in the fiasco. Kitchen smells minty though

exbrnxgrl

How I love a minty fresh floor 😂

amontro

Cowgal and Sadiesservant -

My passport is up for renewal in 2024. H-m-m-m.

I haven't gone anywhere in almost 4 years, except to medical appointments and sometimes grocery shopping. Covid quarantine limited any more than that.

My finances are down to the bare bones.

I have no energy to walk to my car for the above.

Otherwise, I'm ready to go to Europe and/or an island.

Anyone with me?

bmpntherd

Because of COVID, got aa license renewal for 9 years - still laughing!!!

nopink2019

I also renewed my driver's license for 8 yrs instead of 4. Laughed & told DH I just wasted $18! They also asked if I wanted to be organ donor. Even I don't want some of these organs! But it did get me thinking about donating my body to a med school for research.

johnsmom68

These are hilarious. Dancemom I loved "can't you squeeeeze me in?".

I thought of having my radiation tatoos turned into tiny radiation warning symbols . When people ask about my cancer stage I say, "I am stage IV but NED". They ask what NED is. I say, "Not EVEN dead".

.Thanks for this thread. I haven't laughed so hard in many many days.