My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

candy-678

Cross posting----

I have had pain in my left shoulder for literally over 3 years. In 2017, before the cancer diagnosis, I was told I had a small partial rotator cuff tear. I was getting physical therapy when I was diagnosed with the cancer. Life stopped. PT stopped. Priorities. The pain has continued, and worsened lately. So today I went to local ortho doc. X-ray shows possible bone tumors, possible avascular necrosis, possible stress fracture. MRI pending insurance approval. I messaged my MO nurse. Can they review x-rays or MRI for their oncology take on this? They will not review x-rays, but will review the MRI when it is done says the MO nurse. I asked about an oncology orthopedist---- they don't have one. HUM. A NCI/NCCN cancer center with no ortho oncologist. HUM.

Read avascular necrosis (if that is what it is) can be from bisphosphonates-- Xgeva--, like ONJ.

I feel my MO is missing my bone mets seriousness. I have posted here before that she concentrates on the liver, with CT's and MRI's of the abdomen, and does not monitor the bone mets. Last bone scan May 2020 didn't show much uptake, so are bone scans a good indicator for me? Last PET was Sept 2019.

I am frustrated.

runor

Candy, I am shaking my head in dogged recognition of the frustration of having to be your own advocate. I hope you can get to the bottom of this or get answers that address your questions. So sorry for this shitty news.

Rosie24

Candy, so aggravating that you don’t know anymore about why you have shoulder pain but just have more serious *maybes* to now worry about. And as much as people say don’t google, how can we not look up terms being applied to us?? I hope you get mri approval soon. 3 years of pain is way too much.

Trishyla

I'm so sorry, Candy. I hate it when we fall through the cracks in the medical system. It's disgraceful that they ignored your pain for so long. I hope you get the help you deserve ASAP.

On the brighter side I had my breast ultrasound at 3:00 and my results at 4:00. Nothing abnormal found. Yay! The lump is either fat necrosis or just a weird bit of tissue. Who knows. Just glad I can breathe again.

Thanks for holding my hand while I waited. Here's hoping everyone else has has positive results as well.

Trish

mara51506

Glad you found out there was not a cancer lump Trishyla.

Candy good luck getting an MRI on what seems to be pretty major stuff.

Runor still in your pocket as well until you know for sure. Sucks having to wait so long and be on edge.

GoldensRBest

Candy - it stinks when we fall through the cracks. One thing I’ve gleaned from sitting in this living room is that we are not passive when it comes to our medical care. It’s a shame that these so called experts in our health care need to be monitored by those of us without medical degrees.

Hubs has been admitted to our local rural hospital but will likely require transfer to the major medical center about 90 minutes away. He still has balance issues (he fell off the couch twice this am) and I’m grateful he’s someplace safe. Sure hope we can get some answers.

illimae

Good news trishyla, happy for you .

Micmel

I lost my Deeohgee yesterday, he fell into sudden congestive heart failure and we had to put him down immediately. It was done at home under his favorite tree. I am beyond devastated I have no words. I can't even function. I've had him since 8 weeks old. My heart hurts. I hate death.

mara51506

Mel, I am so sorry to hear about Deeohgee. I had a feeling that was what you were dealing with yesterday but did not want to ask just in case. I am hugging you and your family virtually. I am so very sorry for all of you.

candy-678

Mel- So sorry. They are truly part of our family.

Goldens- Thank you for thinking of me when you have so much on your plate right now. I do hope the best for your DH.

RosieRed

Micmel - I’m so sorry. Our furry family members are very special. Hugs!

GoldensRBest

Oh Mel - I’m so sorry about your beloved pup. My heart aches with you. HUG

Kittykat9876

Oh Mel, I'm so sorry to hear about your poor Deoghee, warm hugs for you and your family.

Micmel

My precious baby. Two weeks ago perfectly fine. I’m shattered.

SeeQ

Mel, so sorry to here about your pup.

Goldens, I hope they finally get your DH safely sorted.

Betrayal

Mel: So sorry to read of the loss of your precious dog, Deeohgee. May his memories be a blessing for you.

GiddyupGirl

Mel

I am so sorry about Deeohgee. It is awful when we lose our beloved pups. I know the feeling. You have had enough loss already. Big soft hugs to comfort. I am sorry that you are going through this heartache again. If the universe is kind Tag will be there to meet him

runor

Oh Mel, big, sad hug to you. 

Rosie24

Mel, so sorry for your loss of Deeohgee. He and Tag are together again. 💕. Hug to you. 💕

booboo1

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me.

I know how much you loved me

As much as I loved you,

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too.

So when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart.

Sunshine99

mel, I'm so very sorry.

goldens, thinking of you and your husband

booboo, I couldn't get through the poem without crying. I copied and saved it to a Word document and will read it later when I'm alone. Thank you for sharing that.

GiddyupGirl

booboo

That poem is amazing. I am copying it to share with my daughter someday.

50sgirl

Mel, There are no words that will heal your heart right now. I am sorry for your loss. Pets so quickly become part of the family . Dogs love without judgement. They provide companionship, affection, and loyalty while asking for little in return. Keep your memories of Deeohgee and Tag close to your heart. Eventually those memories will make you laugh and smile.

Hugs and prayersfrom, Lynne

Murfy

Mel, I lost my little guy last week after 14yrs and my heart, too, is shattered. I feel your pain and am so sorry for your loss. In your pocket...<3

moth

oh no Mel, how shocking and fast. Your poor broken heart.

https://grishastewart.com/pet-loss-grief/

DodgersGirl

Mel, sorry for the loss of your fur baby.

May he run without discomfort with Tag. May you find comfort in all your loving memories. I know it takes time to get there. Sending you love and warm hugs.

moth

ugh, one of my kids had some bad news - nothing super major from my perspective, more like a minor setback, but from their perspective it's very upsetting, kwim? we're all going to be stressed here for a while until they come to peace with it and the next steps

Why can't things just be easy for a bit?

booboo1

I don’t know who wrote that poem....I can’t take credit. There was no name attached to it on the internet. I thought it was very sweet and am glad for those of you who liked it.

dutchiris

So sorry Mel. That's just too much loss in a short time.

Runor, what the hey? This is a rush?

My anxiety is increasing regarding my appointment tomorrow. This will be my final study appointment. I'm also hoping to also find out where we go from here. Not only was metastasis in both ovaries (high grade) but also cancer cells found in peritoneal fluid. No cancer found in additional biopsies.

booboo1

Dutchiris,

I hope you get some answers tomorrow. I’ll be in your pocket for sure.