My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

SheliaMarie

Morning, sweets!

Mae - love the puzzle! Makes me want to do one!!

I had my second ixempra infusion Tuesday. Then yesterday CVS refused to fill my pain rx. They said it was too soon and I should have plenty. WTH do they know?? I was so embarrassed, and PISSED. I’ve never dreamed I would be labeled a “seeker”. But there you have it. Of course my onc nurse called them and had it pushed through, but the emotional draining was real. I laid down for a nap at 430 yesterday afternoon and woke up at 735 this morning. Hoping today is a better day.

And hope each of you have a beautiful day as well. Xo

Grannax2

DD and SIL Look how smooth the bay was last night I’ll post more of our dinner out We went to the Kent Narrows and I finally got my fried oysters They were just as good as I had anticipated

I’m so sad about your wife Tristan As I was looking at my sunset pics, I thought about how we will all have a sunset of our lives here on earth It’s not goodbye

Micmel

Shelia Marie ~ I tend to nap a lot as well. Lady ibrance insists.... I hope you have a better day today. I just woke up myself and I'm having my coffee. Slowly I'll wake up. I already miss myself keeping busy with planning and creating. It is amazing how healthy having something to do feels. Maybe I will break out my puzzles ! Or maybe I'll just go crazy! Much love ~M~

Micmel

Grannax~ Talk about a soothing feeling looking at that wow! Beautiful smooth waters. And lovely sunset to match. Have an oyster for me !! Much love to you. ~M~

Grannax2

This one is for PP

Grannax2

DD and SIL. Dinner at Harris Crab 🦀 Shack.

Grannax2

Grannax2

Princess Pincushion’s husband posted on the Liver Mets Thread. She’s in the hospital, now on hospice. So sad.

MuddlingThrough

I forgot to mention I got the Foundation One results. I have very few mutations and a very short list of possible medications to use in the future. I read it all and it was kind of depressing and a little bit confusing on the her2 part of it. Oh well, I am glad I got it done and don't have the obvious problems that I'd need to alert my sister about immediately. I'll still give her and my son a copy. DS might want kids someday and the info could be useful down the line.

Micmel

Grannax~Lovely sunset. I adore your sweet photo of DD showing such clear affection for her hubby. That's what it's about. Thank you for the beautiful sunset. The view from your pocket isn't bad at all.

I am very sorry to hear about Princess Pincushion. I don't have words for the shitty feeling you get when you hear of a sister making that choice or just plain have no more choices. I have put her in my thoughts. She will be thought of everyday and best wishes flying through the miles for her DH and family . 🌷 so difficult to go through!

Much love to all ~M~

Micmel

Princess Pincushion passed away today at 330’pm with her DH by her side. The loss is another sadness that we all feel. This disease is so unfeeling And evil. I just hope her pain is gone, since she’s free. So very sorry for her DH and family. You are all in our thoughts, she will be missed. Much support~M~

Minnie31

Sheilamarie, that stress just is not fair. Hope you are feeling better today.

Grannax, such a beautiful sunset. I hope Princess pincushion is seeing a beautiful sunset where she is. Sad news indeed.

Muddling, you take care, and Micmel, you too.

Holding hands with all my MBC sisters tonight. Good night. X

SheliaMarie

My heart just broke, reading of PPs passing. It happened so FAST! And she only had 2 treatments and one infusion of taxol and there were no more options. I went back and reread the last month of her posts and she tried so hard to believe, and wanted so much to be here for her children. Honestly, my heart feels like it’s been ripped out. How’d it happen so fast??

Minnie - incredibly I feel better today. We upped my fentanyl patch, so I can only assume that’s helped some with the pain. My throat is getting sore, which happened after my last treatment, too. I assume I’ll feel like I have the flu tomorrow. That’s how it happened last time. The pharmacy did let me know today that my rx is ready now, though. Asshats.

Micmel

Minnie~Good sweet friend. I hope you sleep well. Nothing like. Good nights sleep. You're a thoughtful kind woman. I so wish we could all hang out together and just spend time. Get as much rest as you can!

Shelia~ Maybe a palliative care doctor ? I have one and she's is a godsend. Help tremendously, she also got me right into the medical marijuana program and that is helping as well!! I just want you to have pain relief. thinking of you.

Tanya, Divine,Bigbhome,Grannax, Daniel and Leslie, Magda, our sweet Patty. Mae,Blueshine,Hobbes, Lynnwood, the Lynne's, pots, daywalker, Runor,JKL....Miss Bianca....Footprints....Iwrite...my friend GP..Chelle... Nan....if I've missed anyone I'll be back! Elle on wheels!

Much love ~M~

illimae

Sheila, I agree, Princesses cancer was quick and cruel. I believe she had bone previously, then liver in February, way too fast. We all hope our cancers are lazy but damn, so unfair 😢

Tomorrow I’m off to the office for a Christmas party meeting. I don’t celebrate Christmas but I do like parties and we’ll be tasting the menu, yum! My work husband is leading the group and all I have to do is promote the photo booth. Real DH will be home in about a week 1/2, interesting note, both DH and work DH have the same birthday Oct 4th.

Micmel

Mae ~ How awesome is it that you are going to be included in the planning.?Since you retired. Did they ask you to do it ? You're so nice if they did. Especially if you don't celebrate it. Good to hear DH is coming home in a week and a half. Yahoo! I know you must be excited. Sending hugs ! Much love ~M~

illimae

micmel, to be honest, I think work DH just wanted to have a free lunch with me, lol. We’ve worked together at two different jobs for close to 20 years combined, it’s strange to to see each other every day, although we do still talk/text most days. Also, the group is made up of current and former employees, as well as retirees.

I think DH and I will spend a few days camping at a river a few hours away, I need to get back in the water before it gets chilly.

runor

Sad hearing about PrincessPincushion. Can't imagine how her family is coping. These passings make me feel powerless and defeated. Prayers to her family.

MuddlingThrough

I woke up three times last night, and thought of PP each time before I went back to sleep. I'm sad but also angry. She was so young. Two daughters, one of whom is still in high school. Yes I'm angry but am I angry at God? The researchers who haven't found the answer, but how could they when it's really hundreds of thousands of individual diseases? Angry at 'the world' for finding the perfect storm of genetics and environment for MBC, or any other cancer for that matter? Or course there is no answer. I hope her family will be okay. They will, eventually, but sorry for their grief.

Micmel

It certainly does make it seem like we are fighting a loosing battle sometimes. The darkness at night when we awake is odd sometimes. Sometimes the strangest things enter my mind, just at that time. Fleeting. Sometimes I don't remember. Sometimes I do... but what I always remember is I have cancer. As soon as those eyes open. It's back. Although it never left, sleeping is a valued tool. For peacefully ignoring the obvious. I pray that the children and DH will know how wonderful she was and Always will be, in their loving hearts!

Much love to all ~M~

SheliaMarie

PP wrote something that echoed my feelings when I was first diagnosed. She and I both felt that if given two possibilities, we always ended up with the worst. As a matter of fact my first post was “only two things to worry about” or something like that. And she was dx just 3 short months before me. And although she was told there were so many treatments, she ran through very few and there were no more. As you know from my complaining and worrying, I feel like I’ve blazed through treatments. All of this scares me more than I can say. I feel so bad that her death is causing me selfish feelings... but what if this is my fate as well? To not see year 2 following MBC? I can’t get it off of my mind. She expressed so many things that reminded me of myself... I’m just terrified.

Micmel

....we got gramps Tag a dog bed for his achingly old bones and joints....he sleeps in it everyday. Especially at night when it's cold. This one had a hole in it and the company was awesome and sent me another One immediately! Now each doghas a bed. Deeohgee slept on his bed last night. He also likes it when. It is cooler at nighttime. So everyone has a bed now. He used to jump up onto my bed and lay right behind my back... immediate heat flash. Ugh!

Micmel

Shelia~ you can’t compare yourself to someone else honey. I know you’re scared and she was your friend. But everyone’s cancer is different. I am also afraid every single day. She isn’t you and she isn’t us, she is her special loving self. You’re still on tx, please don’t go Into a hole about this. I know what it’s like. Honestly.... I have lost two very. Special women here. Robin and Keetmom. I miss them and think of them everyday. We are all scared and all in the same boat. I am holding your hand.. stay strong. Don’t just think that you will have the same things happen. Everyone is different. Hugging you from across the miles. ~M~

SheliaMarie

Mel, I know. it just hit so close to home. And it doesn’t help that I had chemo Tuesday and today I feel like I have the flu. My whole body hurts. My ears hurt. My throat hurts. And in all honesty, when I don’t feel good I turn into a big baby and it’s all “woe is me”. I’ll snap out of it soon ~ xo

Micmel

you’re not alone. And you’re allowed to mourn your friend and how close to you this is. I completely 100% know what you mean when you say you’re feeling like you have the flu. Oh boy do I. It feels awful. I just want you to know you’re not alone. Not even close. Just tuck that chin in those blankets and sleep and dream. Hugs to you from across the miles....Much love~M~

MuddlingThrough

Shelia, I hope you feel better from your SE's soon.

Everybody here, I do read everything but I'm not doing very well in answering. I am glad for those doing well right now and concerned for those who aren't.

Micmel, I love that dog in the photo. Is he the one who was stuck under the bed?

Micmel

Muddling~No. that is Tag. our other dog Deeohgee.was stuck under the bed. I will post a pic above in a second. Tag the old guy can't do too much and he is 10. Deeohgee the hound dog is the one who is aging amazing and runs all around the house like crazy! He will be ten next month. It's so weird how different breeds age differently. Here is is guarding mama! Always with his mama!

Micmel

.........he is very vocal always. Howling and talking. He’s a handful for sure. But I love him!!

MuddlingThrough

I love that dog too, Micmel. He's protecting you! Our old dog talks a little. He makes a yawning face and says Hello but it sounds like 'hair o'. He used to run with my DH but he can't now so he stays in the yard and howls. It's sad, but in general he's a very happy old guy. He can't see well but he knows we're watching out for him.

Pots

This poem came across my feed from the blog Journeying beyond Breast cancer...it spoke to me this morning...sadness, hope, fear, comfort chase through me as I read your posts.

Hold on to what is good
even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe
even if it is a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do
even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life
even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand
even when I have gone away from you.

Pueblo Prayer