My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

GracieM2007

Praying your blood work is good Micmel! And who the beck is picking on you!!! Why would somebody do that, I don't get it! Just know that you have mamy bc friends here and we all love you like a sister!!!

Lynnwood, I think and hope I'm worried about nothing!

Lynne I'm doing pretty good, thank you for your continued prayers! Tanya, good to see you post, I was worried about yiu! Grannax, thanks for your concern, I seem to have made a turn for the better, I hope! Gosh sometimes something comes along and just knocks you for a loop! Mae, love the Jimmy Buffett vibes!

I know I've missed some people! Love each and every one of you!!!!

MuddlingThrough

Gracie, for years I have taken blackberries for diarrhea. Knock wood, I haven't had D from chemo or meds, but it works well for other situations. Eat a few fresh or frozen blackberries, no sugar or sweeteners, a few times a day. Also, I sometimes get a jar of "all fruit" blackberries in the jelly and jam aisle. Again, no sugar or sweeteners. I'd eat a teaspoon or two at a time a few times a day.

Micmel

hi ladies. Was napping. So tired. Was up until after 1:00am. My body can't handle that at all. Sucks feeling like I have absolutely no gas in my tank ever. It's really depressing when your mind says go go go, and you look down and see two incisions scars from surgeries on my abdomen and massive reconstruction scars from yet another. My body is exhausted. Every day all day. I woke up at 930 and was napping again already by noon. Then I woke up at four o'clock on of with the lovely nausea and headache post nap feeling. I've always dis liked the way I feel after a nap. Hate you cancer!

Gracie~ It wasn't on this thread, but someone got real let's say not nice to me and almost cane out and said I was basically lying and I didn't know my own condition. I realize people say things in fear or I even misunderstood words and context. I know have had your feeligs hurt as well. I understand how you felt. I'm just here fighting alongside with you all. No ones condition. Is more important than the other. I care for you all so very much.

Wanted to give a shout out to the passing of John McCain... a true American Patriot. Rest In Peace. Love you Keetmom! 👼

Muddling great idea with the berries. Gotta try that. Thank you for sharing ! Hope all is well this Sunday!

Minnie31

Gracie, my Mother had c diff, she got it in hospital after an op. She had no appetite, was really poorly, couldn't do anything, no energy at all. It doesn't sound the same to me. Hopefully you are ok.

Mae, we all need something tall and strong, it's 5 o'clock somewhere.

Micmel

Has anyone heard from Pots? I haven't seen her here in a while. I get worried when I don't see people. This month has royally sucked outloud. It was bad enough this month having to ask Celia to add Robins name..... but now the same month to have to email her about Aime Keetmom also?! Like no. Uh. I'm just broken down. Losing women that I have grown to love and have a special connection together that even words aren't really even needed.

Love to all you wonderful ladies.

Chelle..Minnie......Gracie.......Magda......Patty & her sister and her sweet sons

Bigbhome.....Mae.....Grannax....Holmes....Iwrite... the Lynne’s. Of course. Man & 50’s

Muddling......Lindalou......zarovka(has not been around as much, but is fighting with everything she has, getting some opinions) my friend GP.... Runor...JKL....NO1......Sweet Divine......I have to say it. Our Keetmom .......❤️Still waiting to see her name. Scwilly....stillivin....Elle on wheels.......Precious Robin....Hobbes....Miss Bianca....Chicagoan... Celia and all the work you to do to keep the memorial page going. Thank you.

The fact that we lost two ladies this month. Kills me. Like Mae said before. It's hard to get close to people because of the fear of loss. But you ladies are important to me. I can't do this alone. I don't want to. I know those sweet ladies are making a safe place for us.... when our time comes... like we did here for each other. Knowing those angels are above pain free is the only thing I can get through. Even if there is no such thing as angels or a heaven... there is NO MORE PAIN.. I have decided that when my next check comes. I'm going to take some of it and donate to Emma and Delaneys medical expenses. I don't have much but those girls and that family touched my heart. She was a great mother. Selfless always. No matter what she felt. Those girls came first. I'm so happy she got to see Ally graduate from college. I just am devastated for Emma and Delaney. Those young young girls already have it hard. Why would anyone good want to take away a piece of their vital lives. I cry heartbroken tears till they dry up for them. So not fair at all. They are just starting high school soon. And are in middle school. Things are going to happen to their bodies. They need mothers words. I feel so emotionally beaten down. Tired of seeing these brave beautiful women fight so hard.... only to loose in the end to a rogue cell we never saw coming. We love you Aimee. I hope I hear from Jim. So I'll know how the girls are. Maybe I could send a care package with clothing or school supplies. Something. Anything. Those beautiful young girls. Sending all of you ladieslove tonight. Hang in there ! Much love ~M~

GracieM2007

Thanks Minnie! I'm not feeling bad at all today, feel pretty normal, so I think I was just letting my mind run away with me. If the one nurse hadn't mentioned it, I would never have worried about it.

Tanya_Djamila

Minnie hope all is well.

Divine good to hear from you. Summers winding down the kids have returned to school in FL. One more summer holiday.

Gracie I hope your symptoms are getting better. We all dread extra dr appts and emergency rooms so... I guess you’ll see the Onc tomorrow.

Mae I love your beach chair buffet outfit for keetmom.

I’ll look at the memorial later

Micmel if I grab the Pom poms I have no more stable bone to jump but I’m stationary cheering you on through port fun and and infusions. I have mine Tuesday with blood work Zunera and two faslodex shots in the rear.

Passing the Pom poms

Tanya

Pots

I'm here micmel, listening...sorry to worry you. We're in the last days of packing hell, the moving truck comes on Wednesday morning. We have packers coming on Tuesday to pack all the dishes, art, glass and anything else not in a box. I had Taxol #17, the last of the 3 week cycle, on Friday and today I'm feeling exhausted, weepy, and overwhelmed....I call it being in the “tank". Tomorrow i'll Start crawling back out and hope for more energy....oh and yes the packing goes on, we're about 85% done. I have a friend helping me...DH and I are ready to kill each other. Lol. I have a new MO set up now and continuing taxol pre-booked...so my anxiety and fear went way down over my Care. I meet the new MO on Sept 4. My CT abdomen shows the “thingy” is stable, waiting for news on the long nodules.

Micmel, please consider asking your MO to get the Hospital Anxiety and Depression test. I did it with my social worker at psychosocial oncology unit in July after I was an emotional mess in June. It was really helpful in giving me the markers to know how close I am to falling into depression or when things aren’t ok. Ibrance does grind you down, I found the fatigue was especially tough and unpredictable.

On a happy news front, we met our youngest sons girlfriend today. She is lovely and I can see that she would be a perfect match for him. Fingers crossed. I so want to see him settled.

I was so very sorry to ready the news about keetmom and lalalady....this disease is relentless, doesn’t stop and doesn’t care. Micmel. I’m in your pocket tomorrow, keeping you company. Let me know what the drive is like......Sending warm hugs to all of you, I try to keep up with the posts. You’re my rock.

holmes13

Gracie I'm glad you're feeling better 😊 I find that I'm the same way. If someone mentions a se then I feel it. I sometimes have to talk myself out of it.

pots- good luck with your move.

I have felt so helpless these past two days. My daughter and her boyfriend of two years broke up yesterday and just seeing her soooo sad is hard. I just want to fix it and of course my husband wants to "fix" the boy. I know she is only 16 and there are more heartbreaks to come just hate seeing her this way. She also has social anxiety and he would always help her with that. We'll see how the first day being back at school goes.

Micmel

Tanya~Hello darling. Hope you’re feeling good and ready to start this week. I’m leaving in about an hour for my blood work and shot of XGeva YUCK! Hope my port behaves. Somedays it has a mind of its own. I am thinking of you!!

Pots~I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok! It’s only because I care. So glad you’re doing well. Thanks for checking in and saying hello! Hope all is well your world.

Holmes ~I’m sorry from a mamas stand point. I know what that is like. My daughter and son have both had their first heartbreak for sure. It does rip our insides out to watch them be hurting and suffer any pain. Emotional pain is the worst. Just be ready for mood swings and crying. I just hope he leaves her alone. Sometimes they act like dicks. I hope somebody Young nicer boy sweeps her off her feet! It does pass eventually!

Much love to all ~M~

MuddlingThrough

Micmel, with you today for your bloodwork and Xgeva. It is all going to go perfectly.

Grannax2

Today is PET, need I say more?

illimae

Grannax, we’re with you!

Good morning all 😀

Micmel

Grannax~In your pocket while you scan. We love you darling !!! Good thoughts and vibes sweet friend. ~M~

Mae~ waving to you!!! Hope you have a good day! How is the soreness? Any better from the cycling?

Muddling~ thank you! Already having issues with my persnickety port!!!!!! Darn thing !! Ugh.

Much love ~M~

NO1-2NV

Good morning everyone. I am so sorry so many of us have had a rough couple of weeks.

Runor, when I read about your bladder issues I thought WOW, I am not the only one. I have had blood in my morning void but it clears through out the day. Urinalysis says nothing going on. I have a ton of scans tomorrow so we may have answers in a day or two.

Saw my new MO last week and we are baselining before we start a new treatment. Technically all the treatments I have had since February have not worked so we need to move and move quickly to something and cross our fingers for success.

Here is hoping and praying that every one has a better week.

MuddlingThrough

Micmel, my port acts up sometimes. Two weeks ago I was pleased to see it working great and filling those vials in record time. I had to go to the chemo room instead of the labs room and there was a man on my left so I scooted to the edge of the chair and turned right so that my left leg was straight down. Port is on the left too. I wonder if the leg being relaxed as almost a dead weight didn't help straighten everything and get it lined up on the left side? Maybe it was just a fluke but I'll try it again if it gets stubborn next time.

JKL2017

Micmel, I've been thinking about you. Hope all goes well for you today & that you feel better with each passing day. I know you've been a little down but don't let a careless comment affect your wonderful spirit. You've survived so much & it's only logical that your fight against BC would have left some pain behind. That's not cancer, it's just battle scars! Keep dancing with NED (I'll hum some music in the background because you don't want me singing)!

ElleOnWheels

Hello again, friends!

After a VERY busy summer I have been catching up the past few days and I am so saddened by the losses that have happened recently. My heart just breaks for the families and friends of those lost....especially the children. Keetmom, LaLady, Rpoole.....I didn't know any of you well but you all had a very special place in my heart. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry this sucky disease took you away from your loved ones way too early.

Just makes me want to SCREAM.

And to those of you struggling....my thoughts are with you...along with so much love.

I'm doing well...I'll give you an update after I wrap my head around this a bit more.

Love you guys...been thinking about all of you.

E

Micmel

NO1~ Hello there ! Hope you figure out your issue with the bladder. It's not enough we have to deal with already, seriously throw in some minimal blood and go a hunting. Geeze. Seriously? I am sorry you have to deal with more crap. That's all it is CRAP and we've stepped right in it. Can't we just take off our shoes ? I hope they figure it out and you're well! Nice to see you!

Muddling~ all I could think of was you doing some sort of acrobatics to get your port to work. Made me giggle. Lol I alwys have to bend mysterious ways as well to get it to work. We all laugh about it. Those infusion nurses are serious angels. I love them all ! I laugh with them all the Time. It makes going into that infusion center and the smells bearable. It finally worked after an hour of the heprin soak. I am home now resting In my precious new room DH made for me.

JKL~Hello darling. Lol at you commenting on your singing talents. No America's got talent for you huh? Lol Thank you! For your supportive sweet words. It means a lot that you took the time to tell me that. I'm truly touched. It makes doing this worth it, all of you ladies. I am finally home resting. Yay! My infusion/hospital social worker came in while I was there. I adore this woman. She has been my hidden angel. Someone brought her to me today when I needed her. It's amazing how some things work. Sometimes things are really good. Even though I'm sick. Today I am thankful wasn't so bad after all. You ladies of course a big part of it. I am not going to let that post drive me way, I think it only made me better. Thank you so much 🌷😊

I keep thinking Keetmom is going to post. I'm so sad. She has been here since day one. She said to me. I don't feel comfortable on the other threads, can I stay with you here. Her home was born. And here she stayed. I know she posted on the brain Mets and etc. but this was her home for letting out who she was. Her family. Pictures. Always a beauty smiling and rocking some awesome scarf. It's really rocked me. I will Think of her everyday. Robin as well.

Have a good day ladies. Live every second. Much love ~M~

Micmel

Elle~Hello darling I am so glad to hear from you and know your ok, nothing wrong with a busy summer....just glad you’re doing some summer stuff. I cant take the heat. It makes me feel like i am melting! I know the losses are staggering. We will be here also trying to wrap our heads around it. Thy were all such lovely lovely ladies. My heart is Also with their families. So good to see you here again! Hugs to you! ~M~

GracieM2007

Hi ladies! Got great news today! My tumor markers dropped more than 54%!!!! The Abraxane is doing it’s job! It’s the first drop I’ve had since I started this journey two years ago!

And the onc is going to drop the dose by 10% which I was nervous about but he said his experience has been that it has no effect at all on how well the drug works! Sorry driving so will check back in with you all a little late

MuddlingThrough

Micmel, you are so right about the port hijinks. Flap your arms up and down like wings, look up, now look down, deeeep breath, cough-cough, hold your breath, look left, look right, turn back just a little bit...don t move! Yes, those nurses are angels and I tell them so.

Grannax2

I had my PET and my coffee. All went well, except for the expressions, etc of techs. My intuition radar is up. Not so much what they said as the way they said it and what they didn't say. You know what I mean? I don't get the results till Friday. Tech wanted me to know that my MO will have the results today, he said with a very serious face. I've known him for about ten years. OMG I hope my intuition is wrong. 💞

runor

Grannax, I hope you are wrong too !!

Micmel, hope you survived the port poking. I think we need to come up with a new name for the nuclear level of tired that cancer patients deal with, because 'fatigue' is far too delicate, genteel and diminutive to really convey the soul sucking EXHAUSTION that many deal with on a daily basis.

I am saddened that a friend I made while I stayed in the cancer lodge having radiation, has died. She was being radiated for uterine cancer. Then they found lung cancer and did 6 rounds of chemo. It spread and she passed this Friday. She was 86. She was a dynamo and someone I was happy to meet during that oddly suspended time of my life when I shared a residence with many others whose lives had been interrupted by this dirty disease. Today, for the first day in weeks, the forest fire smoke has cleared off and blue sky is visible. Bright and eternal. I like to think it's my friend, clearing a way for the light to get to me.

NO1 2NV, the blood in my urine is not visible to the naked eye, only visible under microscope. If I was peeing out blood I could see I'd be having a stroke! The cytology blood test showed nothing sinister, which is good, because I will wait 6 months to get the ultrasound my doc ordered for 'early detection'. 6 months! He ordered it in July, I have an appointment for January 2019. It's so stupid.

Hope some light gets to all of you ladies today. Hugs.

Lynnwood1960

Gracie, GREAT news!!!! Very impressive drop in tumor markers!! I’m so happy for you, it’s such a good feeling when we see such great news!!! Grannax, glad you got your coffee, coffee ALWAYS makes things better for me! I hope your intuition about your scan is wrong! I absolutely HATE when techs give funky vibes, drives me crazy!! If your onc will have the results today, maybe call tomorrow and just say you are checking for results because the tech had you concerned.

GracieM2007

Thanks Lynnwood! I’m excited about it!

Micmel, praying your labs are really good as well!

Grannax, I’m praying that your tests are good too! I totally get the radar thing, I do the same, but I’ve found that since the cancer came back I’m very seldom right. I hope that yours is wrong this time and things turn out well!!

illimae

Yay Gracie, awesome news! When I had chemo, Abraxane was reduced by 20% after a couple months due to neuropathy, it still worked great.

Micmel

Gracie~That’s great honey! So pleased! Way to go! I am so glad for you! Keep it up darling kicking that butt! That’s really something when a chemo kicks in like that. 💙 hopefully you’ll be able to rest now your mind a little knowing it is working! I am all done and my bloodwork was good! I have had a sinus infection and it sucks. But my numbers were great again. Thank goodness. Thank you so much for caring sweetie!

Muddling~ I am through with my calastentics. persnickety port always checks in. Just needed a cleaning. I could picture you and your description of it. Was totally me today! Glad that’s over for three more months...

Ok Grannax~ I have learned my darling that those techs are talking about everything and anything except you usually. They flow in and out and are usually either my age or a heck of a lot younger. They babble. I mean unless they were pointing at the screen with their eyes pooping out of their heads... how would we know? It’s crazy ! I am going to believe your wrong my girl!

Waving to Lynnwood and Mae.... always good to see you beauties. I was so knocked out after my shot I slept until 5:00 p.m. going to watch some bachelor in paradise with someone I adore. Chiefs mommy!! Love her !

Much love ladies !!

Haven’t seen Parry much either. Hope all is well!!

Minnie31

Grannax, holding your hand.

Gracie, happy for you 😊

Micmel, hope all goes well today x

SheliaMarie

Woke up having a panic attack this morning. I’m terrified of what my PET is going to show tomorrow. I just know it’s not good news, and the fear has me in its clutches.