Just got the call from my doctor and she told me I have cancer

GAGA615

I have a lump in my right breast and also under my armpit and my doctor confirmed that I have cancer in both spots, I have to call the hospital tomorrow to go talk to the doctor there. While I am upset about this, I know I have to stay strong, because every time I talk to my husband about it he breaks down and starts crying. I know I have to stay positive about this, I have to because I have my daughters and my granddaughter to think about and as scary as this is I have to be there for them. My youngest daughter is getting married in May and I am praying that by then I will be strong enough for her wedding. I haven't said anything to my 10 year old granddaughter yet, she lives with me along with her mother and I know she won't handle this well. I really think that I as far as telling her that later would be better, when we know more about what I am facing. I don't have a lot of friends to support me right now so any advice from anyone would be great. I really feel so alone right now.

Kicks

The first person who ou have to be strong for is you!

NoUGo-CA

Hello gaga615,

I'm so sorry that you have to join us - however, you have come to the right place for comfort, information, confirmation, and even laughter!  You just found your friends and there's always someone to talk to or just listen if that's all you need. You are at the scariest part right now - not having all of your information but having been told you have cancer.  I like your attitude to stay positive! Worrying about the worst-case-scenario is not going to help you at all because that may not be you.  Good luck on your visit tomorrow with the doctor.  Please let us know how you're doing.

Vicki

Lafish

hi gaga615, I agree that you should wait to find out what you are facing before telling your children and grandchild. I chose to wait until I knew what I was in for prior to telling anyone. telling them was probably the hardest thing I did but I wanted to make sure that I had my information. My thoughts are with you.

LAF

CaroleeBee

I just found out today that I have invasive ductal carcinoma. I am upset, but I am a strong person.

Moderators

CaroleeBee-

We're so sorry you find yourself here after your diagnosis today. The first days and weeks can be hard and confusing, but know that you are not alone, and you have the support of this entire community behind you!

The Mods

Logang

Sorry you have had to join us Gaga and CraoleeBee. This site is a great source of information and support! There is nothing better than getting support from those who have been through it or are going through it with you! Good luck to you both!

Falconer

I remember how scared I felt when the PA called to say I had IDC. It was a beautiful summer morning. But I thought to myself then- I am alive and strong right now, at this moment, I will spend my days realizing that for as long as I can.

My heart is with you. You're not alone

Anonymous

Gaga and Carolbee- It feels both like yesterday and also a long time ago, when I was in your shoes. We've all been there, it becomes a whirlwind but you've landed in a great place for support!

I actually found out I had cancer by reading my test results online, and was bawling, and got it together and went into the house where my 13 yr old daughter was. We both cried briefly after I said I have cancer, but I said- we will do what we always do- deal with it and move forward. When I found out I was having chemo first, I told her we will kill it, and then anything left we will take out and again...move back on with our life.

Wishing you both smooth as possible sailing through this!!

tsoebbin

Many gentle hugs to you both. It's a bumpy road, but you're in the right place for great support.

CaroleeBee

Thanks all!! I am blessed, my church family is to praying for me!! I have received a lot of text messages and phone calls!! I believe in the power of prayer.

Meow13

I believe in the power of pray too. You will get through this.

Denise-G

Gaga and CaroleeBee - Just wanted to give both of you my best. That first part - diagnosis until you have a plan in place is the worst

because of the anxiety. Be sure to take someone with you to your first medical appointments to take notes. Your brain will shut

down from information overload. It is so helpful to have someone there to take notes.

Sending all the best!

bcincolorado

I am so sorry for all of you newly diagnosed. I know it is a very scary time for you. I agree with Denise, have someone with you. My hospital gave me a big "cancer book" with tons of info in it and I put all my tests in there and kept blank paper to write notes in there as well. There will be a LOT of appointments coming up and it is definitely information overload at first.

Remember to live life too and take a break from this and turn it off at least part of every day. I know it is hard but it will be good for you.

I wish you the best of outcomes.

Ang905

please don't feel alone I had three tumors cancer got mastectomy two months ago going or chemo I was horrified and petrified still am at times started chemo we will overcome this mountain we can do it think positive each day is a new begining

Ang905

please don't feel alone I had three tumors cancer got mastectomy two months ago going or chemo I was horrified and petrified still am at times started chemo we will overcome this mountain we can do it think positive each day is a new beginning

GAGA615

Thank you everyone for all the support, it is nice to know I am not in this all alone. The support on these boards are amazing. Thanks again.

amarantha

Gaga, and Carolbee, it takes a while to get over the shock of the news, I'll grant you that. That is the worst part. Going forward, you will find inner resources you didn't know you had. And you and your husband will be laughing and smiling again in no time, which will help you sail through the treatment period.

EastcoastTS

Newly diagnosed, too, Gaga. Thinking about you.

CaroleeBee

My husband is going with me. Thank you for your concern.

kae_md99

just got diagnosed, have 8 y/o twins. being a nurse, i have seen the worst. im so down that i am just forcing myself to "get up and act well". it s harder when i am at work.after being diagnosed i have had a patient with severe lymphedema from ovarian CA who also had breast cancer( i ask her if i could see her breast post lumpectomy),metastatic mesothelioma,lung CA admitted for SE from his last chemo.very hard to concentrate when i myself has cancer. i plan not to tell my twins yet that i have cancer until maybe after the surgical biopsy..my boy has autism.Gob bless us all!

mustlovepoodles

kae, I'm a nurse also, so i really do get it. I didn't share my diagnosis with anyone but my DH until I had a plan in place. My kids are adults, so I don't have any advice for you on telling your kids other than to only give them small bits at a time and allow them to ask questions.

One thing I learned was to not even entertain the thought of death. I was quick to assure my family and my boss that I was NOT going to die. It really helped them to process the news and it helped me to not perseverate on negative thoughts. It wasn't easy and I did need some Xanax at times. But here I am 18mo later doing great and getting on with life. I do think about the possibility of mets sometimes--my dad died of meso, a horrible death. But for the most part I've been able to move on.

Once you get your plan in place, I think you'll feel more in control. Best to you.

kae_md99

mustlovepoodles, how long were you out from work? any possibility of light duty?( although i dont know if i can do it with no hair to be honest).....

MinusTwo

Kae - my son is grown too, but I really wouldn't tell your 8 year old twins now. Maybe not even until something becomes obvious - like loosing hair. Even then, I might not go into much detail - just that Mom is having some treatments to make her body work better (or something). I don't believe in hiding things from kids, I just don't think 8 is old enough to understand lots of details. Personal preference. Your sons may be comfortable with the discussions.

mustlovepoodles

Kae, I work in community health with mentally handicapped people. So I didn't have the problem of being exposed to illness in a hospital setting. During my 12 weeks of chemo I limited the amount of time that I spent around other people. I'm able to work from home part of the time. There were some weeks during chemo when I couldn't work at all and other weeks that I could work my full shift.

Once I finally got past all the chemo I had a BMX. Now that really set me on my tail. I really would have preferred to only have lumpectomy, I have two gene mutations that are going to try to kill me, so I really didn't have a choice. I had a lot of complications and it took a long, long time to heal. I went back to work after 4 weeks, with a wound vac! So much fun.

PNWskier

Hi to you GAGA, Carolbee and EastcoastTS! I'm right here with you, just diagnosed and I don't know where it is going yet. Hugs coming your way.

kae_md99

minus two,yes i dont plan on telling my twins. i hate lying but it has been my decision not to. when i go for my surgery,i will just tell them i am going somewhere and will be back after a few days( if i will have a bmx,which i will know next week when i see my oncologic surgeon). then maybe tell them i am sick or have the flu or something. it will be evident when i lose my hair.. but i will think about that when i get there.

mustlovepoddles-wow, a wound vac! i am glad you are ok now and that episode has passed.

PNWskier

Kae_md99, it sounds like a difficult situation with your kids. I believe that the right answers will come at the right time. I am a nurse too and work in a surgical setting so I see a lot of people in and out with breast cancer issues. I worked in ED for 33 years and I saw many people in extreme situations with their cancer diagnoses which was more difficult. It's hard waiting to put the pieces of the puzzle together for right now but I know it will come.

kae_md99

thanks PNWskier. it is hard.my parents are old, living overseas.. i dont know if i want them to know... maybe after all the treatments? i dont know...God bless us all...in a separate news, a co worker of mine in the hospital i work at died suddenly last night,newly married, late twenties, just bought a house.car accident.i am still in shock that i don't know how to process things... i know it is hard but i thought maybe just enjoy life and live it the best that we can because we never really know what's gonna happen? i bid you goodnight ladies. i work night shift so this is sleeping time for me. 8:59 am california time.i shall wake up early as i am scheduled for MRI today and i will be going straight to work after. i pray that i get a good MRI result....

MinusTwo

kae - wishing you good results. As for your twins, I was going to say I would probably tell them once you start treatment. But there's always the issue at age 8 that they may spread the news far & wide - which you probably don't want. And you certainly don't want them having to "keep a secret'. Wow. It's a hard line to walk

MinusTwo

Torquoise - my grown son was my primary care. He flew into town for each of my surgeries and went home after a day or two when I could get up by myself. He was here for the 1st chemo, but I drove myself to all the rest. He wasn't here for rads, which I drove to alone every day. He was my rock, but still prefers that we talk about something else besides sickness or ailments. Neither of us ever had our head (s) in the sand, but he just gets bored really quickly when there is nothing else to talk about. That's what we have BCO for, right?