A Cure for Cancer... LAUGHTER (Videos & Jokes)

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Ninja Doggie

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A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

"Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: "Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

Anonymous

A funny story involving a cop and two ladies:

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.

"What did I do wrong, officer?" the driver asked.

"You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH."

"But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!"

"That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"

The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.

"What happened to her?' the officer asked.

"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160."

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What's up Doc?

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Gotcha Tail

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The man was standing on the side of the road, hitchhiking in the middle of a thunderstorm on a dark and moonless night. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw the headlights of a car approaching over a nearby hill. The car was moving very slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad, the guy jumped in the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept slowly forward and guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray for his life, as he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the river, and he would surely drown!

But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a ghostly hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into the nearest bar and told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped the room and everybody got goosebumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth about the stange car and the ghostly hand that guided it on its way.

Just then, two men walked into the bar. They were dripping wet and as they took off their rain gear, they looked around the room. Their eyes came to rest on the hitchhiker.

"Look!" said one of the men, "There's the idiot who jumped into our car when we were pushing it in the rain."

Anonymous

Bloody Finger

There once was a family a long time ago that went on vacation. A mother, father, Brother, Sister and last but not least a small baby. After a long day of sight seeing and traveling the family decides to check into a local hotel. They'd checked out all the surrounding areas and the hotels were all full. Finally they come to the last one. They enter in to find that the hotel is full! Desperate, the father tells the clerk "We'll take anything you have..just Anything!! Please Mr. don't you have a room for us?" The clerk felt really bad for the family and told the father "Sir, we do happen to have just one room left. We don't normally let people stay in it though. It's haunted. Everyone that has stayed always disappears in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye or even paying their bill!" The father says " Great!! We'll take it! You see, I don't believe in all that ghost rubbish anyhow!" He takes the key and they go off into the old hotel room. Seeing as how the family was so tired from their travel, the family decided to order out for pizza. The pizza finally arrives and the mother gets the pizza and sits it on the counter. The little baby was so hungry!! He watched that pizza the whole time! Mom announced "Everyone it's time to wash up for dinner!!" So off to the bathroom Mom goes to wash her hands for dinner. She enters into the bathroom, turns on the sink and a horribly scary voice can be heard...
"BLOOOOOODYYYYYYYY FINNNNNNNNGGGERRRRRR"
It scares the mom so badly that she jumps out the bathroom window and runs away! Never to be seen again!
After a few minutes the father starts to wonder where the mother is...so he tells the kids he'll go find out so that they can take their turn in the bathroom and then eat the pizza. He goes into the bathroom, turn on the sink and hears that same scary voice "BLOOOOOOODYYYYYY FIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGERRRRR"
He gets so scared that he runs to the window, jumps out never to be seen again.
After a few minutes the brother starts to wonder where Mom and Dad went. He goes into the bathroom to check on them. He walks over to the sink, turns on the water and hears "BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYY FIIINNNNNNGGGERRRRR" (getting louder and louder each time it's said) He runs to the window and jumps out, never to be seen again.
The sister starts to wonder where everyone has gone to. She goes into the bathroom to check things out. Once in the bathroom she decides to wash up. She walks to the sink, turns on the water and hears a scary voice "BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYYY FFIIINNNNGGGGEEERRRRR" (getting louder each time it's said) She's so scared that she runs to the bathroom window and jumps out, never to be seen again.
Ok...so all that's left is the baby,.....he's pretty upset that everyone has left him alone and he can't even reach that delicous pizza himself! He's going to tell them exactly what he thinks about it too! JUST as soon as he can find them. He crawls into the bathroom to see where everyone has gone. First he opens the door...nothing...he crawls over to the sink...still nothing....."hmm" he thinks to himself...THEN he hears it! The scary scary voice..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR" The baby, frustrated, looks around ..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR" (much louder this time!) the baby just sits there ,..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR (VERY loud) Finally the baby says just as loud and very frustrated "AWWWW Stick A BANDAID ON IT!" he shouts!