STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

VLH

Noting that you have every right to refuse a blood pressure test, personally, I'm not upset by the dentist's staff taking mine. They've never implied that they have the training to deal with hypertension, they don't bill anyone and I'm sure they anticipate a slightly elevated reading due to anxiety since dental work can be painful, both physically and financially. Rather, as Grace described, the test can serve to alert patients to a potential problem. I've heard many people, especially men, brag that they haven't been to the doctor's office in five years. With high blood pressure often having no symptoms, damage may be happening silently during that period and a quick check in the dental chair could save a life.

My dentist uses a wrist monitor. If they wanted to use an automatic arm cuff, which often produces error messages and is excruciatingly painful for me, I would absolutely refuse. Talk about anxiety...the mere sight of those machines cranks my pressure up. I don't know if it's my fibromyalgia, genetically large upper arms or a hundred pound weight loss, but those gadgets are a torture device for me. My vent is when nurses become angry about the inconvenience of having to get a manual cuff. I'm a polite, pleasant patient in general, but I'll endure their annoyance rather than be unnecessarily subjected to intense pain.

molliefish

I was diagnosed in May 2015. I have a friend who was diagnosed in June 2016. I'm er\pr + her - she's triple neg. We aren't that close. I'm on my way to a longish future with tamoxifen and a very good prognosis. She's just decided to stop treatment to 'get a few good days before she dies'. She has a 9 year old daughter and a husband who lives and breathes for her. But for the grace of God (or whomever you believe in) go I. I have posted here before. I don't know what to say or do or how to act but I am running out of time to say it or do it or act it. Cancer stinks.

Anonymous

Just read through from when I was last here.

VLH - I have large upper arms and right arm lymphedema. I will not let them use the arm cuff that is automatic. The wrist one is good. Or use a manual on my lower left arm. The automatic cuff once left two huge purple bruised, I told them to turn it off and they didn't. One it has you your arm is not coming out of there without trauma. So, yes, I know what you mean. And it sure does make my bp rise when it is done and hurts.

My ordeal of the deposition videotaped so they will have it for court in case I die or cannot speak - DONE! I did very well. Will post more on insomniacs since it is not a steam room thing now.

If Hubby had his way my computer and all its counterparts would be in the garbage bin. He got in too deep the last few days of helping me fix a glitch.

Today Hubby and I had to get our printer and ipad back on the wireless router. We tried a few hours on Wednesday. Today tried 2 hrs then called the ink provider who had helped us before since they cannot bill me unless it is online. Hubby pressed the wrong extension and got an employee from Malaysia who could not speak much English and only said Please give me your address so I can send the product. Strong accent. I finally got on and tried. Nope, it was not his hearing. Finally he yelled THE BOSS! and the lady knew that word and got the boss. Who had a stronger accent and less English in her command. I hung up. Then we got a demon from hell, some man who needed meds! He kept telling Hubby to give his case # and not his phone # but Hubby WAS giving his case #. I said, give it to me. The guy started giving instructions. He had me on a screen, said go to the lower left for download. I am brain frazzled by then. I could see upper right and left and a center link. I said something and he barked. Lower left! LOWER LEFT! LOWER LEFT lower left lowerleftlowerleft. I jumped right in there. "STOP REPEATING YOURSELF. You are being incredibly rude." I found the download link and said, I just didn't understand. He said Well you understood it now didn't you. OMG.

He was no help. When I get the printing all done for my funeral I am planning, then I will cancel that company. But the dude from today gets a very pointed review along w the case number so they can find him.

I hung up. And called my internet provider and the nice guys, Lucas and Michael, we had a great time and got it fixed, laughed, got along great. So it is not me. It's them. hahahaha

HollyDollyD

Hey runor,

No, I haven't noticed that (but I don't read all posts). However, dang. If I could sell some content at least I would have a way for paying down my medical expenses and all the things my ****ed up insurance company is giving me grief over and denying.

Hang in there,

Holly

Anonymous

Runor, I forgot to mention your comment. I have seen it. Quite often a first time poster. Frantic. Life falling apart. And they never return a lot of the time. Whether ey are dealing with BC or not often cannot be discerned. The boards must contain dozens and dozens of these.

Anonymous

Just saying. In the losing of 30++ pounds in 6 weeks my gloriously plump arse is now the texture and has the concave of an elephant arse.

runor

Elephant arse. That's a new one.

When I first started down this garden path I was so freaked out and wrecked that I quit eating - my usual response to stress. I lost weight. It did not look good. It looked puckered. Like a balloon that had been over inflated then all the air let out. Deflated. Only I didn't fly around the room backwards in circles (bummer). After a certain age when your skin has lost its ability to spring back into shape, rapid weight loss is NOT your friend! I look at my body and it's like wow, will you look at that, huh, who knew, I look like my mother. AAGGHHH!!!!

DorothyFromKansas

Runor and BB-DE, I rarely post but just had to let you know how much I appreciate and admire people who are real and raw but the humor you two add to this cesspool of cancer always makes my day!

Micmel

Runor ~ is amazing that’s why! Her humor is just what this world needs. I agree with your statement about the ladies here for sure! ~M~

jaycee49

runor and bluebird, I was wondering if I could suggest a slight tweak to runor's number one idea for the service/celebration whatever. It is actually an addition. How about having more than one lover show up to speak, from a variety of several and sundry sexual orientations? When I was divorcing my first husband, straight and gay friends both volunteered to claim extramarital affairs with me. (How that was supposed to help me, I have no idea but I was touched by their generosity.) Wouldn't that add some interesting drama to the festivities?

jaycee49

Why is it that whatever DH is doing is more important than that I am doing? He called me FROM THE ROOF right when I realized I had posted in the wrong thread. He claimed the dog was trying to climb the ladder to get up to him (he is the dog's alpha person) and I needed to come outside and watch him so he wouldn't break his leg climbing the ladder. Is that steam room material, or what? He was up there for over an hour. I was in the process of moving a post to the right thread. He was investigating a new leak on the roof. Yup, what he was doing was more important. It still bummed me out that I had to stop what I was doing. And the dog would NOT have climbed the ladder.

Dianarose

Dianarose

Lost my nephew last month to cancer and my uncle to it last night. eally makes me angry to see all the money wasted on dam commercials instead of research!

Lita57

I hear you, Dianarose.

The Amer Cancer Society just sent me one of those "Please Send Money" requests. I haven't sent money to them in years. Why are they sending me requests now?

I'm torn about sending $ because altho I'd like to, I'm on SSDI, and don't have the funds I used to have when I was working. Plus, even if you EAR MARK the funds with a comment, saying "Please allocated to Stage IV research..." etc., how do you know that your check will actually GO TO THAT PARTICULAR RESEARCH?

It enrages me that whenever I give $ to some cause I seem to get an envelope in the mail every other month asking for even MORE $. Is that what my donation dollars are going for? Merely more solicitation requests and the postage to send them out in the mail? Geez!!!

And don't even get me started on"Komen for the Cure" and all the money the administrators make. I'll explode.

L

runor

I am not always funny. In fact, rarely. Often I am serious. Dead. Serious. (I am making a really serious face right now. Like, really.)

Anonymous

Janet - I wish you have a puppet that looks like the dog, you could have gone up the ladder - I know, yeah, right - anyway...... and puppeted the dog along the edge then dropped it. That would not nice, I know.

Yes, the stamp, envelope, person to do the marketing and the roof to do it under w ac and heat and insurance.

Runor - stop making serious faces. *______*

runor

Okay. This is me not being serious. Man, I'm good looking!

Micmel

🤭 simply smashing!!

molliefish

I'd say more smushed than smashing.

Meow13

Recently discovered only my husband's name is on our house of 35 years. I have records of waranty deed sales in both our names. Now I need to fix it, I hate dealing with the government. We never knew this until we paid off the morgage and started receiving the property tax bill directly. Who says they don't discriminate against women. I have worked every damned day of my life outside the home and the past 10 years earning more than my husband.

Really hacks me off.

Lula73

Janet, Is this your dog? I see why your DH was so worried!!

https://www.facebook.com/bulldogworldd/videos/1941362726126722/?t=92

(Its a cute video and short too. The scene starting at 58 seconds says it all though. LMAO!)

Anonymous

Runor - you have nothing on me as I was born looking like grumpy cat. Someday I will scan the baby picture.

Meow - I hope you can get this fixed asap. Yes, discrimination was and still is alive and well. You probably even said back then, both names. And / or . And they ignored the wishes.

jaycee49

Meow, My dog is a Brittany. They can be taught to climb ladders but ours has not. Brittany's are known for being good at agility competitions but DH was overreacting. It was just bugging me that what he is doing is always more important than what I am doing. How can that be? I want to be important again.

Anonymous

I am going to run some clips of appts w the current oncologist.

appt 1 - Me: I am seriously allergic to steroids now. Dr: Then if you aren't allergic there is a long list of chemo and options. (I envision 35 possibilities) If you are then the list is much shorter. (I envision 6 possibilities.)

appt 2 - Me: Could you please give me a few options you are considering for when I can tolerate stronger treatment, ones that I can take and not need steroids. He writes 2 names, navelbine (semi-synthetic) and gezmar.

appt 3 - Dr is surprised to learn I am allergic to prednisone and Benadryl. Dr: If you are allergic to steroids then there is virtually no chemo you will be able to take.

+++++++++++++++++++++

appt 2 - The conversation did not cover a lymph node that had doubled in size and is on my carotid common artery, left. Then the size of 2 sugar cubes side by side. 2.5 cm x 2.5 cm

appt 3 - Me: I am concerned about the lymph node on my carotid artery. Dr: looking up the lymph node that is on my carotid artery like he does not know STILL that it exists. Oh, here it is. And he turns to me and said, you can be concerned about that but it is no more threatening than that your liver is full of cancer (Me thinking I have two big lesions and one small so what is the big deal really when others live with more, but I could be wrong). Dr continues saying the cancer is all through your body. I hate to be flippant or anything but that is what we are dealing with. Me: speechless.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

same dr at appt 1: If you get stronger you will be able to use a chemo infusion. (Note, in my chart and in conversation I had explained the level of allergic reaction to prednisone.) I looked forward to the chemo being an option because otherwise the aromasin was said to maybe give me a few more months, he said that.

appt 2 - Me: I am walking now and eating better. But still not doing much physically. I will try this month to gain strength.

appt 3: Me: I had two good weeks then it all drained away, I feel like I am losing now. My appetite is worse than ever, feel so sick inside. I feel like the aromasin is not working. The supraclavical is all swollen from lymph nodes that were cancer before. I don't need a scan to know this is worse and I feel worse. Dr: A scan is scheduled for April 6. You will need to have labs two days before, here or Goshen?

++++++++++++++++++++++

same dr appt 1 - encouraged me to check out palliative care, not hospice.

appt 2 - Me: I have signed up with the Dunes Hospice palliative care program.

appt 3 - dr talks to me about the palliative care programs I could sign up for. Me: I should have the information in my chart now. I am with the Dunes Hospice palliative program. Dr: Hospice or palliative. Me: Dunes Hospice is their business title. Their palliative program. NOTE::: Time wasted that could have been used for real work, imo.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

same dr - appt 1 - Me: I would really like to go back on the Faslodex, see if it works this time. Dr: It looks like you had progression. Me: I haven't been on Faslodex for almost two years though so maybe it will work for me again like it has for others.

appt 2 - Me: I would really like to try the Faslodex. Dr: Well, it's not illegal for you to go on the Faslodex. Me: Then if insurance pays, I want to try this.

appt 3 - Me: Will insurance pay for the Faslodex? Dr: We won't know until I blah blah blan and the insurance company decides. Me: I thought that might be the plan this time, especially if I was not strong enough for chemo. Dr: There was progression. Me: I was on Faslodex with Arimidex and it was rapid response, worked longer then anything. Dr: No Arimidex. Me: Aromasin then? Stay on the Aromasin and have Faslodex injections? Dr.: No, Faslodex is never given with aromasin. Me: Then with Femara? Dr: No, never together. These are always given on their own. ME: IN MY SCREECHING BRAIN I SILENTLY DECIDE THIS IS IT, NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

++++++++++++++++++++++

As we walked down the hall I said to Hubby, Follow my lead, don't say anything.

We get to the front and he tries to steer me to the right desk. I say no. I keep going toward front door. Hubby asks in front of the receptionist, don't you need to make the next appointment. I said no. The receptionist asks same. I said, I have to coordinate my life first.

Thanks a lot Hubby.

And yes, I walked out without making another appointment.

Long story short - he gave me hope of going on a chemo I could handle and even without needing steroids. And he snatched it away because he was never really listening at all. I was not a real patient to him. He had no memory of me from one month to the next, none. I was just fooling myself.

Motto: He's just not that into you.

I WANT DR GOK SEL !!!!!

My heart is broken. I am out here again. On the iceberg.

mistyeyes

Oh Bluebird, I am so sorry. You hope the Dr. would track what was said in one appt. and look over your paperwork before the next appt., we know they are busy, but that is their job, they have to realize they deal with people, we hope, feel, think, treat us well. It is really disrespectful for him not to listen to you. I would be upset too, I am upset for you..

Micmel

💔 bluebird~ just simply NOT ok for Doctor to act that way! I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Just royally sucks. Anything dealing with this disease. I am so very sorry. ~M~ huge hugs of support

Meow13

Problem is being fixed. Sometimes I get pretty fired up.

runor

Bluebird, I am having sad and angry feels for you. Hugging you even though it makes nothing better. Sorry, my friend.

TaRenee

Bluebird. My first reaction was PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. I’m not normally a violent person. But dammit, someone needs to get his head out of his arse and listen. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.

jaycee49

Bluebird, that just sounds normal to me. Remember from one month to the next? Never happens. And I always hear people talking about their "teams," like their doctors talk to each other. None of mine ever have done that. My old MO called my therapist once just to see how crazy I was. Every appointment with my MO, they have you fill out a form with current symptoms. The form goes through all body systems. Do you have this, do you have that? I'm pretty sure no one ever looks at it. I've always been tempted to write something outrageous on there just to see if I get a reaction. I think my right leg is about to fall off. When my lymphedema was starting, I wrote something about my left arm being swollen. No reaction until I told the nurse and doctor. And there is NO question on the form about limb swelling. These are ONCOLOGISTS not watching for lymphedema. There is a question about joint swelling but lymphedema is not joint swelling. That reminds me. I need to mention to them that they need to ask about limb swelling. I did before with no response. No doctor since my surgery ever mentioned the risk of lymphedema. Not surgeon, not RO, not MO. I was talking constantly before my son's wedding that we were flying to FL for the wedding. NO ONE said anything. When I got back BAM, lymphedema. Sorry about veering off in a new direction. Oh wait, we were talking about idiot doctors. I'm right on point. Sorry you have to deal with them, Bluebird. Yours sound especially dim and non-responsive. Not listening, not paying attention. Once in a "discussion" with DH, he said, "what do you want me to do?" I said, "pay attention."