STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

jaycee49

Muddling, I visit the intimacy threads on BCO and have never had that problem. I don't even think BCO has my email address. Spammers are very clever and can get to your email address in many ways. As Sara suggested, you could PM the mods. Sorry this happened to you.

bella2013

Muddling, think how many times we type the word breast in our web browser looking for information on breast cancer and breast cancer treatments. I don't understand the ins and outs of how entities can find us but I do know they can. I don't think the breach came from BCO. I feel confident in their security practices.

My husband is a wood worker. He can go to a woodworking tool site and later get slammed with the same garbage you are dealing with. Why? Because woodworking is a predominately male hobby and the abusers try to lure men to their porn sights. Is it the fault of the woodworking sites? Probably not.

I get these emails too and have been for years. Don't open the emails and just delete them! Do not leave us here at BCO!

Hugs,

Barbara

MuddlingThrough

Thanks Sara536. I'm verrrrrry careful what I click and don't open emails that I don't know for certain who sent them. Sometimes here I click a link to a clinical trial or article but Nothing in the subject matter of the spam. I might contact Mods and see. I don't need more aggravation.

Amica

Anyone who is Canadian spare yourself and do not read my rant because you will be offended.

I hate Canada and its stupid f*d up sad excuse for a Canadian healthcare system. In the U.S. when I first had breast cancer I had a mammogram showing a lump in mid-August 1998. I had a biopsy a few DAYS later By the end of September I had already had the tumor and 16 lymph nodes removed. By October I had started chemo. So a month and a half after lump is discovered I'm well underway to getting "cured."

In Canada, I found a lump at my collarbone, I finally was able to force my cost-saving doctor to let me have an ultrasound until middle of June. The biopsy wasn't until an entire MONTH later. It is now the end of July I haven't even been able to see an oncologist or surgeon yet. I don't even have a complete biopsy report because I am told it will take a MONTH OR MORE just to get that. I do not even have my first appointment with an oncologist until August 9. They didn't even schedule me in to see a surgeon. So a month and a half after lump is discovered I've gotten nearly nowhere, no treatment, nothing.

God only knows what delays I will face until I ever actually get treatment in this god-forsaken rotten-to-the-core sad excuse for a country. The medical staff is mostly rude and obnoxious because they don't need to worry about providing good service, the governmment will guarantee they get paid even if they suck. Everyone is always on some government-paid holiday here, no doctor ever works a microsecond past closing time. My doctor's office, a large office with probably 50 staff members, opens at 9:30, closes at 4:30 and CLOSES at lunchtime, for ONE AND A HALF HOURS, so everyone can get a nice leisurely lunch in. What kind of medical system is that? I hate it so much.

Amica

I am also so angry that my stupid family doctor missed signs of a recurrence for over a year, like a pain I had in my groin area, the swelling on my collarbone, the fact that suddenly a visible pattern of blue veins emerged all over the upper right quadrant of my chest and shoulder, (blood flow feeding the tumor), the fact I was exhausted after doing the simplest tasks, headaches,, and pain along my hips. All of which I reported to her, and she flippantly wrote off. Also, when I was begging to get an ultrasound, she told me condescendly, "Oh Amica, no one gets a recurrance at 20 years."

Yeah, read the literature, dear Doc. There is about an 18 % chance of recurrence for women with my case history, aggressive cancer at young age,

marijen

Very informative Amica. Thank you for all that. You have a right to be angry, I am angry for you and all of us.

Lita57

Socialized medicine...ya gotta love it...but it's better than nothin'!

Not defending anybody or any bureaucracy here, but if you were living in the US of A, and had NO INSURANCE, you'd already be dead unless you had a huge savings account to drain, or a home to get a 2nd mortgage on, my dear.

I agree with those who say the Canadian system should have minimal co-payments so everyone would take it a little more seriously, and there would be more funds to go around for better, more timely testing, admin support, Tx, and nursing care.

Of course the medical staff doesn't give a s&*t!! They get paid the SAME amount regardless of the service they provide. No incentives whatsoever. Who can blame them? Everybody wants to do the LEAST amount of work for the MOST amount of money. In Canada, they don't make a lot of $, so why bust their asses giving superior service?

They're not carpenters making cabinetry, so there's no PRIDE in workmanship or in getting the job done right. Nobody's gonna give 'em a pat on the back, or, least of all, a BONUS at the end of the year. They're govt. employees after all.

I know this isn't going to make you feel any better, or help your situation, Amica, but it's just a different perspective. In order to get thru my own trials and tribulations with this disease, I've had to look at both sides of the coin several times. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn't.

Hope you can get this all resolved soon,

L

Amica

Lita57

There is Medicaid in the U.S. for people with no money, although I have never been on it. And hospitals have charitable foundations that help patients with no funds. But I acknowledge that the U.S. system is by no means perfect either.

I'm just ranting because I'm not happy with the delays in medical care I'm currently experiencing. Maybe once I ever see an oncologist and if I ever get treatment in Ontario I'll view it differently. But I still think that nearly two months from the initial ultrasound of the lump until seeing an oncologist is a totally unacceptable delay. And over a month to get biopsy results is also unacceptable.

I 100 % think there should be a $10 copay per office visit in Canada. It would pump millions more into the system. In the U.S. people pay too much out-of-pocket. In Canada they pay too little.

with love and compassion for you Lita57,

Amica

Artista964

You can make too much to get medicaid. So many are living in poverty but "make" or have a little too much to qualify. The only time medical care can't be denied here is in the er. Once you are stable, you are on your own.

Some places may have programs for assistance but the line is long. So if you have cancer and can't get financial aid or medicaid, you are hosed. Plenty of go fund me for these poor people. And we have trump who is doing his best to reduce medicaid and get rid of obamacare. More people next year will find higher premiums they can't afford and make too much for medicaid. So more uninsued people will happen next year.

Artista964

Medicaid is at risk for going back to before. Trump is busy reversing Obama's health care law starting with no penalty if you don't carry insurance. Obama expanded medicaid beyond disabled/seniors but we'll see if it holds. I'm glad I live in the best state, ca, where most believe truly affordable healthcare should be available for all. I would never live in a red state.

Amica

Rosabella,

Yes I understand. Right now it is dangerous times for the Affordable Care Act in the U.S.

Universal quality health care for all is what I believe in. Ontario's just not there yet in my opinion, in terms of quality timely healthcare access, its system is over-whelmed.

The Ontario government knows it has a problem and is apparently trying to get cancer patients more timely care; it is an ongoing problem they are supposedly working on (but I'm not sure how lol.)

pingpong1953

Amica, in spite of your warning, I read your posting, and I'm wondering if the difference in your care compared to mine has anything to do with the fact that I'm getting care in a small city and you're in the Toronto area. I haven't encountered the rudeness and lack of caring you've described, and I wonder if it's a big-city thing. (I hope this doesn't offend anyone in the GTA, but I wouldn't live there if you paid me. I grew up in a big city so I'm not a small-town girl by any means, but there's just an intensity in Toronto that leaves me cold.) The surgery scheduling department at our local hospital works on Sundays - I've gotten Sunday calls from them on 2 different occasions. And my MO's team always gets back to me the same day I call with a concern, and usually after 4:30 pm! That said, I think what's happening to you is inexcusable and I fully appreciate your rant. The way your family doctor blew you off, telling you that no one has a recurrence after 20 years is just lazy - if she'd bothered to crack a book she would have learned something about the subject. And I agree that there should be a co-pay, but heaven help any politician who proposes that.

Amica

thanks pingpong1953

I'm not really in the GTA. I guess one would call it Hamilton area.

I guess I shall have to make peace with the system here because I can't fight the cancer and fight the system. Although I still wish someone could tell me why pathology results take a month. Makes no sense.

Micmel

that does really suck to have to wait any time at all when we are dealing with something as serious as this. I know i had my results back within less than two days. There is no excuse for that as far as I am concerned. What I have learned Is. “the squeaky wheel always gets the grease" learn to become the most polite kind pain in their asses. Call everyday if you have to. But hit them with such kindness they won't be able to help themselves from helping you. If you tell someone how wonderful they are and how good they are at what they do. And yada yada please help me. No one else has helped. I hope you can help me , or please give me a contact who can I'm desperate. Please. Works every time. Kissing ass goes far sometimes. Although I really hate to say itsdisgusting, but it works. I would try every single thing I could think of. Including walking into your doctors office and all of a sudden faint right there. Oh my goodness, oh my. Such anxiety oh my, I need help please. I'm so stressed out. I need water. I need to sit down. Seriously. Sometimes drama is the way to. Go. I've used it many times. Works wonders. Especially if your loud. They don't like disruptions at all, it makes them look bad, like they aren't doing their jobs. Try it. You'd be surprised how many people's attention you would get. Just faint carefully. Desperate measure calls for desperate actions sometimes. I wish you nothing but wishes for the help you deserve. ~M~

Artista964

yep on the kindest squeaky wheel. I'm very friendly with staff but persist nicely. I was in with cellulitis last week and being friendly, asking about something about them, etc automatically scores points. I had a bedpan roomie. Was told all female rooms were bedpan. So the charge nurse got permission from the super to change a male reserved room to female.

It also helps the hospital here is awesome. They do frequent surveys on how their staff did, which helps.

Amica

thanks Micmel

that's not a bad idea. I think I am actually going to try that "please help me" approach with my doctor, and see if she can get a move on for my pathology results.

...but I shall only faint on a clean floor

molliefish

Ladies and Gents I need to know WHY when you hire people to do a job and you warn them multiple times that they are performing below standard and putting the company at risk that they lose their minds and blame YOU and others when you hold them accountable. Holy crap am I disappointed. I don't need all this BS. Do your job!!! We get paid exceptionally well where here and still every no and then someone has to go off side. OY VAY! That's all. Funny my rant is not related to BC. Yay me!

Amica

re: "that's not a bad idea. I think I am actually going to try that "please help me" approach with my doctor, and see if she can get a move on for my pathology results."

I tried today to reach my doctor. My doctor's not in. There is a Civic holiday in Canada on Monday so offices will start closing on Friday August 3 and not be open on Monday August 6.

Bear in mind there is NO REASON for this holiday, there is no occasion or event it is marking; it's just a holiday to have a holiday. Just another free day for government workers, who I guess felt that summer dragged without at least a few paid long weekends. That's the reason no work ever gets done effectively in Canada and the whole country is bogged down in a sloggy bureaucratic mess- everyone is always on some freakin' paid holiday.

Micmel

Absolutely clean floors only. But it works! I've gotten visibly upset and loud And professionals don't Ike that, they want to seem like the Hero. Running to your rescue!! Good luck and get those results ! ~M~

Amica

I love your attitude Micmel And I really am going to take your advice.

cheers,

Amica

Artista964

No work gets done in congress either with this administration. I'd take Canada if I could. Not just healthcare issues but the US needs to be made great again domestically and abroad. We are going backwards and it's just ugly to see.

moth

I love all of Canada's statutory holidays! The reason for stat holidays is to give workers a break & I especially love the August long because it's purely for fun and unadulterated by religion or colonialism. Labour Day is my favourite holiday though - celebrating the rights of the worker. I try to remember to sing The Internationale that day (Billy Bragg's version).

My rant is about a neighbour who put in new turf, failed to water it, had large chunks of it die because he didn't get the proper sprinkling permit from the municipality and now is freaking out at me when I walk by with my dogs because he's SURE it's the dogs that have killed it. Even though they don't pee on his lawn (they pee in my yard, before leaving for a walk) and I *always* pick up my dogs' poops. I was so gobsmacked when he started up his bitching that I just walked away & my very calm and diplomatic husband chatted with him politely but now I feel like marching over there & yelling 'Are you seriously going to whine about your freaking lawn to someone who has been fighting cancer since last December? Do you really think I give a rats ass about your lawn????' oh & yeah, unless he's a bigger idiot that I can imagine, he should darn well know I'm dealing with cancer because I am bald & don't wear head covers except in the sun & pretty much everyone in my neighbourhood knows I'm doing chemo because I've told lots of people. I was literally standing there bald, no eyebrows, no eyelashes in front of him as he was ranting at us.

Amica

I don't think there should be holidays for important medical services, no matter what country. I worked at a cancer hospital and I worked many a Christmas, many a New Years, many holiday weekends when everyone else was out partying, and I didn't even work in patient care, but DNA-based services for transplant. What's the big deal? They are JUST DAYS. There should be no holidays for provision of vital medical services. The idea that my life-and-death pathology results are further going to be delayed so over-paid workers can take another day off pisses me off. That's my rant.

vampeyes

How about this: My step dad died on July 11th, his brother came down from Alberta in May or June to spend time with him and help take care of him. So he has left for home and we can get into my mom and step dads house - the a$$holes stole a bunch of stuff! They even tried to steal the brand new lawn mower, but the neighbour caught them. How could they do that to their brother and his wife? They opened a brand new train set, took out what they wanted from it and left the near empty box. WTF is wrong with people. I am so upset about this, they went through their private things taking whatever suited their fancy. OMG!!!!

JKL2017

So very sorry, Vamp. No one can disappoint us like family. You (& your mother) should not have to deal with something like this, especially while you're still grieving. But anyone who is capable of doing such a thing lacks the ability to feel shame so don't expect them to feel any guilt. They've shown you who they are. Now believe them & put them where they belong - in your past. I don't mean that you should ever forgive or forget this. Maybe you want to file a police report & have the local authorities contact them with a few questions. That should send them a message!

Sending you warm hugs -

vampeyes

Thanks JKL - my brother is so mad he's looking into legal stuff. I don't care about the stuff so much, it's that they just helped themselves. My mom lets them stay there and they do thisi n return. Like my brother said Karma will get them!

Lula73

Oh Vampeyes I’m so sorry. Unfortunately it’s more common than anyone thinks. Their response will just be that Dad said he wanted us to have it. It’s a no win. Liveand learn is the best we can do.

Amica

Oh Vampeyes! That is so awful. That is is beyond the pale It will come back and bite them in the a**. Karma's a b*ch. They will have to live with this on their conscience for the rest of their lives.

vampeyes

Muddling Through - I was thinking yesterday about the spam (I get tons, pretty sure it's from one of the Keto sites I joined), anyway sometimes other peoples email accounts get hacked and that is how these spammers get your email address as well. For now move them to junk and block when you delete them, it will help lessen the amount you get.

TrailDweller

Just venting....Saw my rad doc yesterday so he could "check how my skin was holding up". He asked if I had fatigue, I said yes. He said Ok. I told him I was achy in the breast they were treating, he said, What?" I said I'm achy, he said Huh? I said I'm hurting. He said, It will stop don't worry about it! My RO has the personality of a piece of cardboard. I don't even like talking to him. Have to see him every Tuesday. I asked questions once and was blown off and made to sound like I was melodramatic so I'm not going to bother anymore. Feeling like the next rat in the maze.