Summer 2015 Rads

meezers3

Yikes littleblue! I expect my breakdown to occur soon. Got my last whole breast this morning, couldn't hold back the tears because I knew my burning continued all weekend and I was getting more. Didn't get to see the RO as planned, but saw the nurse for more lidocaine. She also gave me some adhesive dressing pads to protect my skin from sticking to my cami. She told me to call her as soon as the skin breaks, we both know it's coming...ouch! Guess I find out tomorrow what boosts will be like. 5 more days!

fltchr

And the fun continues....I'm 19 days out from rads but last week started a rash on my ankles and tops of my feet. Since then it's spread all over my ankles and feet and this weekend started on my forearms and hands. Went to my MO today, and turns out I am probably allergic to sulphur. Silvadene was not a good choice. MO said it might continue to get worse...red spots might turn to blisters and might get sores in the mouth. Just when I thought I was getting pretty healed... I'm ready for all this fun to stop!

Keys-Plez

fltchr...OMG.That sucks. Holy cow. You're always so positive. It must be crappie. I thought I was over the hump, but now I'm wondering.

meezers3

fltchr I hope it clears up soon!

CAMommy

I totally agree, it's an overnight thing. One day your are in agony the next you are just in pain and the next you feel tons better. For me it was the 10 day post rads was my turning point. I have no pain now and i never thought I'd say that.

This is a picture of the area healed. All this was open before. I don't even want to show that.

Alibeths

can't wait to get there!!!!!!!!! Xo

bluefin

DONE! Had the last boost today. I hope to never be back behind those doors.

Keys-Plez

Ringing the bell for Bluefin. Happy Dance!!!

ksusan

Woo!

Alibeths

yay

AndreaC

Yay bluefin!!!

I had my last rads 5 days ago and I am quite sore. My skin is red and blistering in some areas, Andpeeling under the arm. My underarm has nice new skin underneath and is not sore anymore! The sorest part is my lower left chest and side. It is unbearable lying on the left side.

I stopped using Aquaphor because the nurse at my cancer clinic told me that anything like that (Vaseline consistency) tends to trap in the heat and make the burning worse. So I am putting Aveeno on intact skin and flamazine (Silvidene) on blistered areas. And taking ibuprofen for pain.

Andrea

Keys-Plez

I often wondered about all the heavy salves they gave us. I only used aquaphor once. That was when my skin was really dry. I used the CVS Aftersun aloe with lidocaine often, but it's not heavy like aquaphor. It helps with surface pain and tingling and is soothing. And of course, my cooling towel. You think maybe sometimes we overthink things and sabotage ourselves?

littleblueflowers

Yay Bluefin!!!! Good work!!!!

My Derm said to use cetaphil in the jar only- anything else would trap heat. I do use other stuff they gave me at the hospital though- Radx with lidocaine during the day. Aquaphor only before working out to try to protect my skin, and I don't work out until a solid 10 hours after radiation..

meezers3

Congratulations Bluefin!!

queenmomcat

Congratulations Bluefin!

I wonder sometimes about the variance in clinics' practices.....

CAMommy

honestly, I think none of it matters, you are either going to burn or you aren't. I don't think you can prevent it if you are. probably a lot of it is genetic. And a lot is probably how much radiation we received and how many areas we had irradiated. As well as anatomical issues, women with large pendulous breasts tend to have considerably more issues then women with small perky little things.

meezers3

I agree CAMommy, I don't think I could have prevented my burn. I put on all my gels, ointments, and lotions and still got burned.

Keys-Plez

CAMonmy.. You had 2 rads in one day and were already in a shortened scheduled. I couldn't imagine 2 in one day. That must have been punishing.

klanders

Months ago I signed up for a women's retreat through church for this past weekend, not knowing that it would fall between the 6th and 7th week of my radiation treatment. I was determined to go and have FUN. There hasn't been any fun in my life since my re-diagnosis last January. I'm happy to report that I had a BLAST!!! I was determined to not let my treatment slow me down and I went horseback riding, zip lining, and did a high ropes course among other things. The only time I hurt badly was when I was playing a game with partners where we had to keep a ball in the air - hitting it without holding it - and I reached out with my arm one time and felt the tight pull/pain from the armpit area. Yowza. But it was an awesome weekend!!! I had wanted to do paint ball, too, but decided that I didn't want to feel the pain if my radiated area got hit.

Tonight my husband surprised me by showing up on my doorstep and taking me out to dinner. (We live two hours from my treatment center so I've been spending the weeks away from home.) I'm feeling happy and blessed tonight. Only 3 more boost to go on my internal mammary gland. I sort of messed them up yesterday because all my marking came off over the weekend. They had to go through a big process to get me remarked. Then they sprayed me with something they said was like a liquid bandaid to try to keep the marks on me. Today they handed me a sharpie and said I could use it if I needed to. I guess that answers my question on the markers... I think my treatment center uses them from person to person.

I'm already taking the hormonal meds. I'll have rechecks with my MO and RO in December. I can't say that I'm cancer free yet since the last scans before radiation showed some active areas, but I'm hopeful I will be able to say that in three months when they do the next scans. :-)

Congrats to the ladies who are finishing up!

KBeee

Klanders, So glad you had a great time on the retreat!

Bluefin and all other who are finishing...congratulations!!!!!

bluefin

Well my skin didn't fare as well as I had hoped. My shirt got stuck to my incision last night and it began bleeding when I took my shirt off this morning. I thought it was just because I applied sticky Aquaphor last night so after a shower I put on my usual Miaderm and (not so smart on my part) a white tank top as an undershirt. I have no feeling here so I didn't even realize it was bleeding again.

Ever since then, the skin is weepy and looks gross. I was going to apply some nonstick gauze tonight before I go to bed so it doesn't get stuck to my shirt again. I see my MO tomorrow but I'm going to stop by and see the RO while I'm there and ask her what to do about my skin now - but until then can anyone shed any light. Should I be airing it out?

ChicagoReader

Hi Bluefin, I experienced something similar that actually got even worse in places. Using the nonstick gauze until you can get to the RO is a good idea.

Unless the RO says no, try silver wound gel. I used the Curad brand and it helped me a lot. It protects against infection and speeds healing. I noticed a marked improvement once I started using it. I also used lidocaine in an Aquaphor base (available by prescription), but if you're numb in that area the lidocaine would be a waste.

When I needed to go out, I covered the whole area with Mepilex Lite dressings, which don't stick to the skin and are padded to protect the skin from further damage. When possible, I tried to give the area some air.

bluefin

Thank you! I'm about a week out from my boosts and a little worried how it will look over the next week. Fingers crossed it doesn't get much worse.

ChicagoReader

My skin was at its worst about a week after boosts ended. It took a while to heal, but it didn't get any worse. I hope yours doesn't either. Good luck with it.

klanders

This past Friday was my last radiation. My breast is looking really good, but my boost areas are pretty red still. And all of it is peeling. I asked them take a picture of me with the breath hold equipment which the University of Michigan uses to protect the heart of women with left breast cancer. They used a snorkel gear like thing in my mouth, nose plugs, and virtual reality glasses. (No fish to look at - only my breathing screen that showed me how deep to breath and when to hold.)

Keys-Plez

klanders..That's some crazy stuff.

meezers3

I received my last boost yesterday and woke up on fire. Good thing I have an appointment to see the nurse Tuesday! Had to take leave time from work to take care of myself. Most of the time I'm shirtless or have a cotton tank top on and covered with aquaphor mixed with lidocaine. I use a soak three times a day and let the air get to it for at least 20 mins. I have moist desqaumaiton under my arm and all the way around my breast. The worst is underneath my breast. Hoping my boost area doesn't start igniting! Trying to keep the damage to the nipple low.

Metta

So glad most of you are done and done! The pain is so awful, but it does go away eventually.

Andrea and Lisa, thanks for bringing this up, the "What now?" feeling. I finished radiation in July and have been trying to gather myself up again. I still have many doctor appointments (targeted therapy in the chemo ward three weeks), but things are much, much better now that I'm not sick or in pain.

It doesn't feel right to return to my old life, my old job, and my old habits because they apparently gave me cancer. But I don't have enough energy to radically change my life. I read "What Color Is Your Paracute?" but haven't had the energy to really do a job search, much less be a marathon runner. I just feel like a deflated balloon. I was gluten-free, low-glycemic diet, ran, did yoga, etc., but I got breast cancer anyway. It makes me want to stay in bed and eat Twinkies (well, not really, those things are revolting).

One thing that I have changed is that I'm trying to "watch the thinker" and "be in the now" more and more. I'm using quotes because these are such cliches these days. But I'm finding enormous relief from my worried, racing, negative mind when I just stop and say, wow, look, my mind is really racing. You can almost look at yourself from up above and think, "Look, she went through so much this past year and now she's worrying herself sick" or whatever. For me, this somehow takes all the power out of my negative thoughts, and I can breathe again. It's just that you have to keep doing it 24/7, which isn't always easy to remember.

Has anyone else found anything that helps in our new "survivorship" phase?

123JustMe

Metta, I feel exactly the same way you are feeling!

meezers3

Metta I feel the same way. It's been easier to stay in the now because I have to take care of my burns. Before I was diagnosed I went through a horrible family tragedy that knocked me off my feet. I knew my life would never be the same. As I was coming out of shock and getting ready to start a new chapter I got knocked off my feet again. Not as bad this time, but still shaky. It is a good feeling to take the power out of the negative thoughts. Hopefully as time goes by, the negative thoughts will dwindle away.