Summer 2015 Rads

Keys-Plez

I rang the bell !!!

I actually gave it a good whack. The picture doesn't do it justice.

meezers3

I think my MO will be watching me when I'm done with rads. I have an appointment scheduled, she will probably start me on hormone therapy then. Another scary road to travel for me...

So glad I discovered this site!

queenmomcat

Keys-Plez (and many others): I've often wondered about the post-treatment letdown effect. I noticed it after my "ovarian cancer that wasn't" surgery in spring of 2014--after weeks of the medical profession winding me up about The Dread C-word, it turned out to be "only" endometriosis (completely asymptomatic). I came home after the oophorectomy/two days recovering in a B&B and felt much like a kid on Christmas afternoon.

Somehow I couldn't work up the emotional resources to be excited about the fact that I didn't have cancer. But that's pretty much how I feel right now. I'm done with the active intrusive part of cancer treatment. Why am I not happy?

Keys-Plez

meezers...You and I have/had ILC. The after part scares me as much, if not more, than the original diagnosis. I meet with my MO next week. See I don't even know if I should say have or had cancer. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

My daughter says you're done. Why are you even still thinking about it. I love her, but I want to smack 'er. (I won't though).

Keys-Plez

meezers...You and I have/had ILC. The after part scares me as much, if not more, than the original diagnosis. I meet with my MO next week. See I don't even know if I should say have or had cancer. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

My daughter says you're done. Why are you even still thinking about it. I love her, but I want to smack 'er. (I won't though).

bluedog

I wish I understood post-treatment letdown, too. I'm not even post-treatment yet, but I know it will be a bear for me. At my last chemo, I sat in the chair and cried. Of course I was thrilled to be done, but I also felt a little freaked out about losing my identity as a person who went to chemo almost every Thursday for 4 1/2 months. I think this whole thing does a giant number on our heads, and it takes a long time to sort through it. I hope others will weigh in on this issue.

CAMommy

I am healed! No open areas left. I tried a real bra yesterday, nope not quite yet. But I am able to wear antiperspirant again!

I have the let down and the fear of recurrence now. Sometimes I forget about cancer and then I feel like it slaps me in the face with a if you don't worry about it it will come back thing. I know that's irrational. But it's what I feel. Worry will keep it away. Haha. I see a MO in about a week. I don't want to do tamoxifen but I'm sure he will rx it. My RO doesn't think I need it.

meezers3

Seems like I will always be worrying about it coming back, if not in one of my breasts, but somewhere else. I have been getting up at 5:30 so I can get my treatment before work. I want to make it a habit of going for a walk everyday to replace my treatment appointment. So many good reasons for exercising at least 5 days a week.

ksusan

CAMommy, great news!

queenmomcat

Meezers: that sounds like a grand idea! It had occurred to me to do something at the time i'd be getting rads, to ease the transition back into normalcy. For post-Christmas/Thanksgiving letdown, going to a movie worked for me, but now something at the same time every day until I stop thinking "Gotta refill my water bottle--it's time to head off to the hospital."

CAMommy: how wonderful!

meezers3

Congratulations CAMommy!!

queenmomcat, now you can refill your water bottle to go for a walk. :-)

queenmomcat

Probably gardening, but same diff.

ksusan

4 weeks post-radiation. I'm not as pink as the camera makes me appear from this angle.

CAMommy

I'm afraid to show you guys how bad my burns were. I'm afraid it would scare someone who isn't in treatment yet. They were not pretty.

Keys-Plez

CAMommy...Glad to hear you're doing so much better. You really had a tough time.

meezers...The walk is a great idea.

I actually just took off early from work. So I'll just get to work a full day. I guess that's not the worst thing, cause I enjoy my job. I would enjoy not working better, but if I have to, then this is good job.

ORknitter

I agree with everyone's sentiment about "what now?" My MO was happy with my lack of side effects from exesmestane so doesn't want to see me for 6 months. Part of me felt a huge sigh of relief, but a bigger part is asking "what now?" Then my RO said I was finished there! I do see the surgeon again in a couple of weeks so I can ask her about the pain I still have where the wire was inserted (surgery was May 20th). Now it seems surreal, like it didn't really happen except for that little pill everyday.

Keys-Plez

I feel so lucky that my ILC was accidently discovered. But during this process I've met women that weren't detected for several years and not so fortunate. Now that I'm in a high risk category, the status quo annual mammogram just doesn't seem to be enough.

AndreaC

I know all about the post treatment blues...when I went through treatment for colon cancer it was the same..."what now"? I wish I had never said that because before I knew it, I had cancer again.

But it's natural. We have all been through a lot...bloodwork, surgery, scans, doctor's appointments, chemo, radiation, skin treatment. This cancer business has been a full time job. And aside from having all this free time now, we have the added worry of "what if I get cancer again?" Every ache and pain, every lump and bump I think is cancer. I am normally a pretty calm person but I can be quite irrational in the doctor's office!

I think I will never feel like I am totally cancer free but will feel better with time.

Andrea

Alibeths

I'm almost a week out of rads and it s painful. It's peeling and it HURTS. My armpit is he worst. Anyone else have it bad

Keys-Plez

There was a thread on when can you declare you're cancer free? I think the conclusion was, you're a cancer survivor.

I really don't have extra time to fill. So that's not a problem. It's just the lurking question of who's got my back?

Oh well. It's like everything else with this stuff, when we move from one phase to the next, it's all the same. The anxiety and fear of the unknown. We're all seasoned veterans with that. And as before, it to shall pass.

CAMommy

alibeths I had very bad radiation burns and pain. And we moved across country during it. Mine started getting better at the 10 day post rads mark and pain was gone by 2 weeks post rads. Hang in there.

Keys-Plez

I had my last rad Friday. I'm peeling under my boob. The skin underneath is not raw or anything, but I'm not pushing it. Still wearing the oversized sports bra when I go out and to work. I credit everything to the CVS gel and the cooling towels. My radiated breast is still 2-3 degrees warmer than the other, but that's down from 6-7 degrees. I think I'm over the hump.

Keys-Plez

Alibeths...Maybe the lidocaine will help. I apply it on the areas where I feel any stinging or super sensitivity. My RO also said to apply Silverdine (prescription) on the open areas to prevent infections and help healing. She said don't wash it off and when it wears off, just reapply over the old stuff. I have the salve, but haven't had to use it yet.

ksusan

Alibeths, sorry! It should heal up soon. What are you putting on it?

Alibeths

silvadene and aquafor. It's insane. No one prepared me for this!!! I don't k ow how you moved like this. I can barley sleep!!!!!! Tomorrow will be a week. Hoping for some relief!!!!! Thx ladies

CAMommy

it was the worse. I could t even move my body to roll over in bed, it hurt so bad. I took Advil. I couldn't wear a bra I wore a cami under my shirt. I feel for you. I know exactly how it feels. My open area was about 1 inch x 1 inch in my arm pit. And about 3 inches by 6 inches under my breast. It was so gross and goopy and painful. Good news is it does heal up. I used silver stuff and aquaphor. I'm still using aquaphor because the new skin is so itchy.

I'll be thinking of you.

ksusan

Poor friends

Alibeths

when did you get some relief? I almost wanna do to the ro today but not sure what she can do

littleblueflowers

OwOwOWOOowowowowowwowowow! Expected skin breakdown is occuring. Yeesh. I'll say. One more whole chest, then on to boosts. which I gotta say, it looks like a frat boy drew a penis on my chest. This is so much fun!!!!

Sorry you hurt Allibeths- if you figure out a good lotion cocktail, please share it!

BT828

So sorry for the pain you ladies have....I gained a very sympathetic respect for what burn victims must be going through when I was where you are. Let me just say that you'll know when you turn the corner, it'll be an overnight change. Hang in there....it's coming!