April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Positive_spirit

You all can be hilarious, more often than most normal people. Loaning boobs! Loaning boobs!

Zumba in the classroom - maybe that's the way to do it.

Holley Kitchener passed away yesterday and I had been following her on FB. She inspires me, that lady!! Funny thing is early that the morning I rode like hell in my Spin class for Holley....i rode to beat cancer, to make it vanish, to cure her, i just rode, but I did not know that she was leaving us. It make me incredibly grateful to know that we have this group, a safe space.

Tomorrow is that oncology check up - 6 months post chemo, 1 yr anniversary of BMX. Boston here I come... this time on my own. Phew....yup, I am anxious and scared

Jackbirdie

Positive- got goosebumps reading about you riding for Holley. Perhaps you were helping to cure her in a way, helping her to return to a perfect being, not flawed by this hateful disease she fought so valiantly. You are always very "in tune" and i value your presence here and in my life.

Best of luck navigating treacherous waters tomorrow, physically, emotionally and metaphysically. I'll climb in your pocket for the ride and lend support. When you feel scared reach down in your pocket. I'll be there.

littleblueflowers

Hey positive! I'm in your pocket too! I'm so sorry to hear that Holly passed away.

ksusan

Good thoughts for your appointment!

KBeee

Positive, I'll be joining you on the brief worry train that accompanies appointments. I go to the MO this afternoon. Hoping it is nothing but routine for both of us!

littleblueflowers

Good thoughts for you too Kbeeee!

Jackbirdie

(((Kbee)))

Stephmoen

although I haven't been posting I check on U ladies regularly glad everyone is doing well! I am falling into a deep hole of depression right now everything was great I truely believed I kicked cancers ass planning a trip to take my babies to disney then last night I felt it a small but palpable lymph node on my cancer side I feel sick to my stomac

ksusan

Always scary, Steph. When are you having someone examine it?

Stephmoen

next week of course made an appt Tuesday with surgeon but I see my primary monday for a physical Wednesday I see my oncologist and Thursday I have herceptin very exciting week

littleblueflowers

Scary stuff, lady. I bet all of us have had similar scares since treatment ended. Remember lymph nodes swell for all kinds of reasons, its their job. Do you have any Ativan? Hang in there!!!

Stephmoen

I have xanax thankfully took 2 last nite to sleep my sis who is a pa felt it said its about 2mm very small I've had them swollen in my neck slightly too so I'm not sure but the fact it's on my cancer side is making me very sad I know there will be ups and downs being a survivor but it sucks

littleblueflowers

It does suck. Giant sweaty donkey balls. The fear is a part of life now. I feel like the nodes on my cancer side tend to swell now more than my non cancer side just because of damage from treatment. I've been in your exact situation and it turned out to be nothing. I bet yours will too!

Stephmoen

thank you little blue xoxoxo youreamazing on these boards I look to you for inspiration so much

ksusan

Sucks so much! A little advice if I may, based on my own experience of a new axillary lump (that turned out to be nothing)--don't keep feeling it or it will swell just from constant probing.

Stephmoen

haha thanks for the advice I have been touching it nonstop I need to stop xanax is kicking in im feeling relaxed just need to fill the weekend with activities with the kids keep my mind busy

Jackbirdie

Steph- really sux you have to worry about this. I'd be putting Ativan sprinkles in my Starbucks too! Anything to stay calm till Monday. Sending hugs and mojo your way

ksusan

I saw my RO this morning. She says everything looks great. We discussed range of motion and tightness. Other than losimg weight, which Tamoxifen is preventing, she says I'm doing pretty much everything I have control over to decrease LE risk. She offered to see me annually to check in and coordinate services if I want, since my surgeon is retiring and my MO isn't in town. I can also call her before that if I want to. I said that the more people examining me from different disciplines, the better, so I'll see her in around a year. She was quite taken with the little anti-LE emergency medical box I made. I'll post a photo sometime soon.

Positive_spirit

wow.. Thanks for the support guys! Jackie...you are just one powerful woman! Can't even put to words how I feel about your words! And since I had so many of you in my pocket, my MO said I was fine ...recommendations were to keep exercising more than 3x a week, consider a vegetarian diet with some chicken or fish once in a while, and mindfulness sessions.

Steph....hang in there, babe! Damn lumps and bumps are going to cause a lot of anxiety and stress. I am kicking that lump out of town right now. Do you need a call? We're here for you.

Kbee...how did it go

If I could hug you all collectively, it would be a squishy, slobbering type of hug.

KBeee

Steph, remember that nodes will swell for a cold, for an ingrown hair, for a tiny pimple, for about anything. It is frustrating how these things take us to such dark places though. Please keep us posted.

My appointment went really well. MO was satisfied with me following up with my gyn about the spotting. My white count was low, which it wasn't last time. I know that's common after chemo, and he said not to be surprised if that just becomes my new norm. We had really good conversations about how things are going with me, my mom's cancer, genetics, life in general. My MO is just fabulous; he most kind, caring doc I have ever met. I return in 3 months. I will see BS, then my MO, and then they'll schedule an MRI. The area where my tumors have been has been really lumpy ever since fat grafting in 2014, so this will allow us to have a baseline for when new things pop up since my body likes to make lumps. My gyn appointment is the 25th.

KSusan, Your RO sounds great! Mine seemed to think patient contact was an interruption in his physics-filled day. He was brilliant but had zero rapport or communication skills.

Positive_spirit

yeah Ksusan and Kbeee...yeah for good, positive results

ksusan

RO and I were making statistics jokes and she awkwardly tried to articulate something relationally appropriate about that, and I said, "I think if we had met in school, we would have recognized and appreciated each other's nerdiness." She agreed.

Stephmoen

I'm so frustrated about this damn lymph node and finding it right before the weekend so others have felt their lymph nodes and have had them checked and it was normal im so annoyed with this shit I just want to move o

ksusan

Steph: Yes, several of us have had new bumps in various places that have been evaluated to be nothing.

I'm thinking I might have a magnesium absorption problem. I was taking double the recommended dose of mag citrate with no effect on leg cramps or bowels. Yesterday I started using Calm, which is supposed to be more bioavailable. Used the recommended starting dose. No leg cramps and I slept more soundly than I have since about a year ago (that is, I woke 3 times but fell asleep again and my sleep was deeper). I'm going up to the full dose today. My ND suggests increasing until I have bowel effects, then backing down slightly. It will be great if Calm works! (I know a high dose of mag affects my guts because that was phase 2 of my colonoscopy prep. That might be a little too effective in the bowel domain.)

littleblueflowers

Steph, you almost have to laugh, don't you. It's just the worst possible timing. I try to only feel myself up on mondays, that way if I find anything scary, there's the rest of the week to work it out. Of course, that doesn't always work. Is your appointment on Tuesday? Feel free to text me if you need to freak out...I can tell you dirty jokes and try to distract you lol.

Magnesium calm is the best! Makes me poop like a champ!

Positive, can you talk a little more about your MO s rec to go veg? I'm super interested as a chemo induced carnivore...

ksusan

Jen, how much Calm are you using? I myself am retaining poop like a champ. Not in a problematic way, but not what you'd call regular right now.

AndreaC

Hi all...just popping in, been busy...

Steph, I am sure that lymph node is nothing to be worried about. But I totally get your anxiety about it. We all worry about our bodies now, more than most. We are here for you, sista!

I have some mild lymphedema...have had two sessions with a massage therapist and now I get fitted for a compression sleeve. I am not too worried about it all, it is just an annoyance.

I am off to Vegas next month for my brother's 55th birthday! I can't wait. It is not the best time for us Canadians to be going down there, our dollar has tanked compared to the U.S. dollar but it's for a special occasion so we don't mind. We won't be doing any outlet mall shopping though!

Have a great week everyone!

Andrea

Rpayton

Steph thinking of you and the anxiety. Many here have offered great advice. And true lymph nodes swell for all types of reasons. Sending a serenity prayer your way. Keep us posted as soon as you know. And know we are all here for you.

Kbeee good to hear about your supportive MO and appt last week. So great when they get it and are truly there for us.

I saw my MO Thurs and got my 3 wk herceptin. Labs all good. My toe is healing but will be a long time to get a toenail back. I hope by sandal season.

KSusan good info on the magnesium and calm. Glad that's working for you and the colon.LOL

Positive a big squishy hug back!

Hope we all have a quiet week.

ksusan

A quiet week sounds stellar!

littleblueflowers

ksusan- heaping tablespoon..

Renee, glad your toe is healing and labs look good!

Have fun in Vegas!