Starting Chemo March 2015

SueH58

Theresa - Yeah for your last round. I have diligently been reading this board since February/March and seeing you all graduate is so rewarding. I am behind you all, with 3 more to go.

What I really love about you all is your sense of humor. Theresa, you crack me up about looking like a dog with a bad case of mange. I don't know how you all come up with such great analogies!

Italychick

SueH58, I look in the mirror and that's what I see lol. Getting the magnifying glass and flashlight out to see if any new hair has grown in yet. I am hoping!

Feeling kind of achy and swollen after Herceptin only. I thought it had little or no side effects?

so-she-did

Congratulations Theresa, Sharron, and Whitney! I was just remembering back to those early days of chemo and trying to imagine what it would be like to be where we are today with people finishing up the heavy duty end of chemo. It seemed impossible at the time.

Now that the girls are home for the summer I can't seem to keep up with posting. I am still cheering everyone on and am right there with you through the ups and downs even if you don't hear from me.

I had my CT scan done for part 1 of the radiation simulation today. I can't believe how nervous I was heading in there today. I even put the gown on backward because I wasn't processing anything anyone was saying! I finally calmed down once I got in the CT room and found out that the technician was a friend of a friend (the one that came to visit from Texas). We chatted it up while she got things rolling. It was a much faster process than I had anticipated. Even got tattooed today since I am now super sensitive to the tegaderm they would have used to cover up the marker. Chemo, the gift that keeps on giving - ha! I go back next Friday for the X-ray and final adjustments and then start 33 rads with the last 5 being boosts.

I think I am starting to grow some very translucent hair! The lighting in the dressing room today lit up a whole bunch of little fuzz that I didn't even know was there. If it has been there all along, screw it! I'm not going to let it ruin my fantasy that I am finally growing hair!

Katy, I love the new house! Jack is going to be one happy boy with all the yard space. I hope the inspection and closing go well and you are in there pointing your finger at the movers letting them know where everything should go in no time.

Hugs to all!

SpecialK

Italy - how fast did they run the Herceptin by itself?

Congrats to all who are finishing/finished!  It is a milestone, but realize that it takes tine to feel better and stronger.  Be gentle with yourselves.

mysunshine48

Katy, I have been reading all the posts quietly in the background. Sooooo happy for you snd your new home! Hope all goes well with the closing and the move. Also, so nice to have two adorable room mates. I love sbimals. I have a kity snd would love to get a puppy, but I don't think I can hsndle a puppy right now. good luck with # 6!

Lynn

shaz101

well done Amy on getting through your CT scan and tatts. My radiologist rang today and my CT will be on June 30 and my first radiation will be on the 13th of July. I'll have 6 weeks of rads with the last 5 being boosts. I need to practice holding my breath for 30 secs at a time.

The euphoria of finishing chemo has kept me going today... that and endone ☺ I even brushed my horse and did some groundwork. Way too much I think. But the excitement of having this part over has inspired me.

Trvler

Congratulations on finishing, Sharon. I hope you feel better FAST.

IndyGal35

Yes, Theresa, congratulations!!!

Thanks to everyone that is posting their rads experiences too. I trust your experiences more than anything a doctor can describe.

I've been struggling with the Big D this morning too. (I'm reminded of the scene in Bridesmaids when Melissa McCarthy is sitting in the sink saying, "It's coming out of me like lava!") Ha! I have appts all day as well, so this will be fun. I miss the days of leaving home without wondering if I need to bring butt wipes and extra underwear with me. :

eheinrich

Wow - I just caught up on posts being away from a real computer for a week was hard. I'm not big on doing a lot of typing on a tiny phone screen. Congrats to all of you who have finished and hugs to those going through extra rough stuff.

When I got home last night the bracelet was waiting for me - so cute!

This is going back a few days conversation-wise but I also have some yellowing near the top of some of my nails - as though I had on nail polish for too long - and the lovely rings/lines/whatever-you-call-ums. Still going commando. Only interested looks I have gotten (that I noticed) were both from small kids, just checking out the head. New passport came while I was gone. Bald in that too.

Older daughter is in town for a week - picked her up last night on my way back. Oh! and I got hired on by the patent company I did the trial project for! Part-time/as needed independent contractor work, at home - can't hate that. I'll be starting a new project with them soon. Things are looking up.

Trvler

Congratulations on your new job, Elaine!

so-she-did

Sorry for spelling your name wrong Sharon. I knew it didn't look right when I typed it. DH did remark last night that my cognitive abilities are still not what they were pre-chemo.

Anyone else notice a decrease in brain function from chemo? DH even said that there are times when I don't make sense. The only thing I've really noticed is not being able to come up with some words.

Eileen, congrats on the job!

ninjamary

Amy - Yes, yes yes. I have the hardest time coming up with words. I can actually visualize what I want to say and can't remember the word for it. It sucks. Also, my memory is shot. My husband will tell me something and the next day I forget all about it. Then again...I tend to lose interest in some of the stuff he talks about. lol

pboi

Yes! Me too, coming up with words is sometimes difficult and I have to write everything down I forget so fast. Focusing on things is sometimes hard, my mind wanders.

This isn't permanent is it?!?! How long might this take to resolve...it's bad enough my body looks and feels crappy, but I need my brain function!

PB

Jackbirdie

Eileen- welcome home! Enjoy your daughter, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!🎉🎉🎉 on getting the job! It sounds perfect for right now.

Amy and Ninja and PbI feel a great decrease in cognitive ability. The wrong word comes out, or words come out in the wrong order. But since I live alone and only talk to Jack and Tutti, who don't complain, it's not affecting my life too much. What is affecting me is my inability to read. I just can't comprehend. So I am missing one of the great loves of my life right now. I even have to read package instructions on food a bunch of times before I "get it". I sure hope that goes away. While I had nice boobs and nice hair ( taken from me by bc permanently and temporarily, respectively), I always considered my best asset to be my brain. If bc gets that on a long term basis I will be fucking pissed

molly1976

Yes on the cognitive stuff. Today I wrote a text to my husband that ended with "if something less than be as good," and I read it like eight times because I couldn't understand why he didn't know what I meant. Two hours later and I'm not sure *I* even know what I meant! Jeez.

Italychick

I have been playing word games on my Kindle. Don't know if it helps, but it can't hurt.

specialK they did half hour infusion. Gonna try it one more time and if I get the flu feeling again I will ask them to slow the drip down. Feeling better today, just ankles and feet feel a little bit swollen.

But gonna try to get out on the bike lol! And tomorrow too.

BBwithBC45

My brain feels slower too. Also, I'm getting forgetful.

eheinrich

I have a hard time finding words as well.

wpmoon

Same here with the inability to find words. It's incredibly frustrating. Katy, I'm also missing out on reading. I just can't focus long enough to pick up a book and try to follow a story line.

I was given magnesium on Monday's infusion since my values were low, and it's wreaked havoc on my stomach.

so-she-did

I'm rereading a favorite book. I've found that to be easier than trying to follow a new book. I can no longer handle complex plot lines.

Theresa, I have a kindle but I didn't know I could play word games on it. Do you find them in the kindle store? Any you recommend?

SpecialK

For most the cognition issues improve incrementally with time out from chemo, but for some it can take longer, and for a few the problem stays in some form. I think taking good care of yourself, returning to, or starting, good eating habits, exercise, returning to normal life, etc., all helps. I also took Acetyl L Carnitine - it is a brain function supplement.Every day during chemo - regardless of how hideous I felt - I played solitaire until I won, I played three different games of mahjong until I won. I also looked at animal pictures and videos for a dose of cuteness, then I went to www.damnyouautocorrect.com and read inappropriate and humorous accidental texts and laughed until I cried. During chemo I felt more affected by insomnia than truly cognitive issues, and as the weeks rolled on after chemo was done I felt more rested and sharper. I am certainly hopeful this is true for all of you.

slothabouttown

Amy, I play Boggle on my kindle, also have a NY Times crossword app and I've been doing at least one crossword a day. If Im not feeling up to a word game, you can do jigsaw puzzles on a kindle too and I found those surprisingly fun when I didn't have the brain bandwidth for crosswords. I have a kindle fire and it has an icon for the apps store, just click it to see the tons of games available.

IndyGal35

Yes, I have a hard time finding the right words too. I still watch Jeopardy religiously to keep my brain a bit sharper, and I play short strategy games too. It's hard feeling my brain slip.

shaz101

congratulations on the job Elaine 🎉

Amy don't worry. My brain is scattered! Both comprehension and trying to find words are difficult! I certainly hope it improves quickly as I work with my brain! I don't think my employer would be happy with million dollar mistakes 😟

I play "words with friends"...if anyone else plays it send me an email with your username if you'd like a game. I'm only an average player ( I not very competitive, just play for fun and boredom)

I'm running on the last of my dex today! So very anxious and jittery. Tomorrow is crash and cry day and the migraines will start. But hopefully in a few weeks I'll see the end of them.

slothabouttown

For the record, all of you still sound really smart in your posts!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend full of frolicking kittens, well behaved children, and zero side effects. March on and lets finish this sandwich already, geez!!

DavisD

I've been reading but too wiped out to contribute this week. Friday I started feeling "human" again not quite as fatigued. I forced myself to attend a birthday get together at a pub near my office. Drank about 1/4 of a beer but glad I went.

Yes to the cognitive decline but unfortunately mine started prior to chemo. They think it may be more related to my autoimmune disease but of course my mind goes to brain mets or something crazy like that! It actually seems to have improved somewhat since chemo, weird I know!

I do wonder if any of you have this problem...hard to describe. When I even think about the chemo room or anything related I instantly get nauseous. I've never had a horrible experience there and usually feel pretty good on spa day. It also happens when I smell perfume, food frying or any strong smells. Maybe it's just nausea in general but it's like a switch coming on when it starts.  Sorry I didn't describe very well but I have a feeling some of you will relate.

BBwithBC45

Diane, regarding what you described how you feel at the mere thought of the chemo room, etc. Mine is a little similar, but different. I like learning new tricks in Microsoft Excel (I'm weird like that, but I work a lot with this tool and I like to find ways to do things easier and faster) and on a Sunday afternoon at the beginning of January I sat down on the couch with my big book on Excel and as I opened it, the phone rang. It was my gynecologist who happened to go into his office on Sunday and saw a fax with my biopsy results. This is when I found out I had cancer. Ever since then, that book is still sitting in the corner of the couch under some magazines and I cannot bring myself to open it again. Also, I used to knit a lot, but ever since my diagnosis I have not knit a single stitch. For some reason it makes me think of that horrible Sunday afternoon.

Trvler

I don't get nauseous but I hate the smell of the alcohol that they use to sterilize me when they do the infusion. After all the sticks, it now has a bad association. I also get the book thing. There are some songs I listen to or work out to that I like but I have a feeling I will hate them when all this is over because they will remind me.

DavisD

BB-thanks for sharing, you made me think of other things. I was driving home from work when my BS called to say it was cancer. I pulled over in this small town that I usually go around. I love that little town but I avoid going past that stretch and haven't since that day. I started a book when first starting chemo and couldn't stay focused. I can't stand the thought of opening it again... It sounds like it's all pretty similar and somehow we have to create some positive associations if possible. All I can think of now is getting to know you all and the beauty in new friendships. Allison I get the alcohol thing too. I think the nauseous part is certain things immediately remind me of when I was truly nauseated and just triggers that feeling for a minute until I shift my attention away. The brain is such a complex organ, always amazed me.

As always I don't feel so alone with my sometimes strange thoughts because of you all! Thanks..

ksusan

Nausea is a very powerful aversive conditioning tool. It also requires some effort to break the association.

Stress contributes to poor concentration and aversion, too. I read almost nothing between diagnosis and post-chemo #1, and I normally read at least two books a week. I also could only stand to listen to one album (Brian Eno, Music for Airports) for months.