Starting chemo September 2014

sybilskelton

For me, the bone crushing fatigue has been pretty routine. I've had my AC infusions on Tuesdays and have been able to return to work the following Monday, tired but able to muscle through. Until today. My last AC treatment was last Tuesday, and this morning I got up, showered, dressed and ready to walk out the door. And then I couldn't go any further. I wanted to cry. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow and I'll be able to make it all the way to the office.

KayaRose

Hi All,

Just wanted to let you know that I did talk to my doc and she did prescribe zofran for me.  I've taken it twice today and the difference is great.  I'm not feeling completely better but much improved.  I actually ate lunch and dinner today.  I spoke very frankly with the doc about her not wanting to medicate me.  We had a good talk and she promised to be more understanding.  She said she had no intention of wanting to see me suffer and I also said I will be more forthcoming when I'm in pain or discomfort.  It was a good talk.  I really appreciate the advice everyone gave.  I would have called my primary doc but, unfortunately, i just switched primaries and don't really know this one very well.  Just my luck that my primary of the last 15 years or so decided to move out of state just weeks before my breast cancer diagnosis.  Geez, I really miss her.

Anyway, I do feel better both physically and emotionally after my talk with the doc.  Thanks again for all your support.  It's priceless.

Kaya

badhairday

Violet, sorry to hear about your delayed treatment. I can imagine how disappointing it is to drag things out longer.

Sybil, I honestly don't know how anybody manages to work through chemo! You are a warrior! I hope you regain your strength quickly.

Kaya, so happy you settled things with your MO. Good for you! I take Zofran, and it works very well, as long as you stay ahead of the nausea, and keep something in your tummy.I learned the hard way last weekend not to let it wear off or let my stomach get empty. I hope it is successful for you.

Had a couple of good days, and I am tensing up just thinking about the next tx. Labs and onco tomorrow, then appointment to finally get the results of my genetic testing that was done in August. Then the chemo chair on Weds. Plus the soon to be ex is being a putz, and that doesn't help. Trying so hard to be positive and strong. Some days that's harder than others.

barremom64

YES KayaRose! SO happy for you... Although I'm angry that you suffered for so long. Hopefully you'll rest easier tonight:) 

Jmo06

sorry badhairday last thing anyone needs is man trouble while being sick.  

Kayarose glad ur getting what u need from ur doc now 😊

Tobycc

Sybil.... I get it.  I think my motivation for work today was pure desperation trying to feel normal..

Poppy, any better?

Kaya, sounds like you are pleased with the talk, and it sounds like it is already much better!

Bad hair, remember NOMATTER is building a team of bald warriors to help yiu defend the evil soon to be ex!  . Seriously I felt the same way before last treatment

My MO practice has a journal which has been helpful. I record how I feel, so I can look back at first tx and see how I was then

LARock, hives all gone?

My allergic reaction. Is still there.  There's a name for it, hand foot symptom. We will have to address it for round 3

They may dilute the taxotere, lessen the dose, take longer for infusion, etc. I just don't want to postpone

Restful evening hopes for all

Nomatterwhat

Good for you Kaya, so happy you are getting relief.

Toby, you are so right!!!!  I love my team of warriors!!! 

Badhairday, I work in the legal field and see this kind of crud everyday.  I can tell you that if you be nice and don't argue with him, he will wonder what you are up to.  Drives them crazy!!!!! 

Rose0766

I'm sitting in the chemo chair as I write this, getting my last AC treatment, woohoo! Moving on to taxotere/herceptin/perjeta with next appt. Signed consents and got the info on these drugs, scarey stuff! Going for ultrasound and Echo next week to check progress. Feeling pretty good today!

PoppyK

Rose, So happy for you finishing AC! You've got this!

Rose0766

thanks PoppyK! We have a long road to go, but half of chemo done is a good feeling! Next group of drugs scare the shit out of me, but it has to be. Took a nap after chemo, we had the earliest appt today, parking at my chemo center is difficult when you go later in the day. Metallic taste in my mouth for the first time, yuck! And I feel weak, which is ok, chemo is doing its work! Can't wait to see what my ultrasound looks like! 

badhairday

Toby, hope you get your allerrgy issue sorted. I don't blame you for not wanting to drag things out.

No matter, if killing him with kindness worked, that moron would have dropped over weeks ago. He hit a whole new level of idiocy today, and I told his dad on him! LOL! I'm betting he will be a bit nicer to me later!

Rose, congrats on finishing AC! High fives to you! Wishing you a smooth path for the next steps in your treatment.

LARock, was hoping you had checked in to say you are feeling better. Been thinking of you.

Big cub scout Halloween party tonight. E is going as a policeman. I'm going as a cancer patient! LOL! As long as there are snacks, I don't think E's friends will care what I look like.

Did labs and saw MO today. She said I am managing well. I skipped the Decadron last time. We are going to try a half dose this time and see if it helps. Back in the chair tomorrow.  Treatment #3 of 5 (2nd AC). After tomorrow, I will be halfway through!

badhairday

Double posting because I forgot to say that I finally got all my genetic testing results today, after two long months, and I am clear! They tested for every known mutation, due to family history, and I was negative for all of them. So relieved for my children, especially my girls.

Nomatterwhat

Rose, so happy you are done with AC!!!  One step closer. 

GREAT news for you and your girls Badhairday!!!  I can tell you have plenty of tricks up your sleeve to play against the Moron.  Enjoy tonight with your little man, you deserve it. 

I decided against having genetic testing.  She told me that my insurance would only cover the BRCA 1 & 2 and since I have had all the cancer removed, that it would probably do me no good to do the testing, since they only test people who have cancer.  DUH!!  She was a waste of my time.  The letter she sent to my surgeon placed a 14% chance of breast cancer reoccurring.  Really?? Reoccurring with what??  Tomorrow I see my surgeon to make a last appointment to remove the remaining breast tissue and become completely flat??  She was an idiot!!!!!!

GO ROYALS!!!!!

Tobycc

Rose, congrats for marching on!!!!!!!!

Poppy, any more energy?

Bad hair, hope you had fun!

My hands are still swollen and beet red. Feet are peeling though is I would imagine that's what my hands will do eventually 

NOMATTER, did you ask her "where's your sign?"  I did not have BRAC as BCBS would not cover it since I have no one in my family with a Hx of BC. 

SO glad to be home. Long day of having wig on. ......took a break and drove to a parking lot where I took it off for a while. My major fundraiser is coming up in December, so I was "on " tonight for a meeting with donors.  

Honestly I am proud of myself for "doing it" all today. That felt good 

Day 12 post second....  how long will this metal taste last   ?  Somehow Fritos don't seem healthy

badhairday

Had a great time watching all the little scouts run around in costumes, having a blast. Exchanged numbers with a few moms-trying to make some friends so I can do some play dates for E this winter. It's hard to make friends in your 40s!

I refused genetic testing 10 years ago when my sister was diagnosed with BC. Insurance wouldn't cover it, and I didn't want to feel like a time bomb. Back then, they only tested for BRCA 1&2. My sister was negative for both. When I was diagnosed, my BS pushed for the full panel. There's 3 generations on both sides of the family with BC, uterine, ovarian and colon cancer. I decided to get the test for my kids, and my insurance paid for the full deal. I am amazed nothing turned up, but so relieved.

In other news, my husband is still a heartless schmuck. I have officially given up on ever seeing his good side again. Looks like I am going to chemo alone tomorrow. What a prince!

Nomatterwhat

You crack me up!!!! 

You at least have some kind of taste.  I chewed cardboard for dinner tonight, while my husband thoroughly enjoyed his meatball sandwich.  My cardboard taste usually lasts for about 2 weeks. 

We are all proud of you, no matter what you do.  Rest and have a great rest of the night.  (root for the KC Royals)!!!! 

Tobycc

bad hair, do you have a friend to got with yiu?

badhairday

No. All of my friends work, and I don't want any of them to go without pay to hold my hand. I went to my first tx alone, which is the one when I stopped breathing. The moron took me last time and sat there like a stone the whole time. Tonight I finally forced him to answer and he said no. I'm not shocked, just really disappointed in him. Someday he will have to explain all of this to our son, who adores him. I don't think that's going to go so well for him. I will be ok on my own. It's just a bit lonely. 

Tobycc

hoping there will be some folks to talk to !

sybilskelton

Badhair, I'm so sorry your husband is being such an ass, especially with a young child involved. I can only imagine that he will live to regret it, in fact I'm sure of it.

My parents had a horribly messy divorce when I was 13 and my brother was 7, my father was a total asshole and then he dropped out of our lives for the next 15 years, no child support, no birthday cards, nothing. I remember one time when I was in my early twenties, my mother mused out loud that she wondered if my father ever regretted not seeing us kids grow up. At the time I really didn't understand what she meant, but when I was about 30 my dad resurfaced as a recovering alcoholic doing the whole 12 steps thing, and I discovered that yes indeed he regretted it. He told me that he knew that he was a terrible father, but he vowed to be a good grandfather, and for the next 10 years until he died he did just that. I'm glad for my kids that they got to have a grandpa, but nothing will ever get those lost years back.

Hopefully, your son's father will figure all this out before the time slips away.

badhairday

Thanks ladies for your support and concern. It means a lot. Kicking cancer's ass is hard, and dealing with this divorce is even harder. At the end of all of this, I will know I did it, on my own. I will be able to hold my head up and take pride in getting through it all. I will be able to lpok my little boy in the eyes and tell him I  fought as hard as I could to get healthy so I could be his mama for a long time. The sad truth that I gave his dad multiple opportunities to do the right thing and he refused to do so will come out eventually. I feel sad about that, but you can't force somebody to be a nice person.

Thankfully, I went to the library today and got some cookbooks I can entertain myself looking at, in the hopes that someday food won't taste like nickels!

Nomatterwhat

Badhairday,  If I could, I would go with you.  Hold your head high and know you still have a little boy that loves you "to the moon and back" and someday he will figure it out.  We are here for you!!!! 

zjrosenthal

Rose, congradulations on getting through the A/C .   Onward we go. 

Badhairday so sorry for your troubles.  You will get through this and come out stronger.

Praying for courage and hope for us all.  Love, Jean 

PoppyK

Badhairday, We are all with you today while you get your infusion. Who knows... it may be more peaceful for you without "He who doesn't deserve you" there. Hugs, my friend!

Poppy

badhairday

Chemo today went smoothly. When I walked in, I saw a mom from my daughter's dive team. She was so supportive, and wants to bring dinner to E and I this weekend. Walked in to the cancer center and saw another aquaintance who works with my hair stylist. She was there to support a friend she has "adopted" as a grandma. She told me to bring my wigs in and they will all help me get them looking good. Then back to the chair. Had my favorite nurse today. It went well. I brpught along the new cookbook from The Chew, and  Michael Symon's 5 in 5 cookbook, and a ton of post-it flags. (Micheal and his wife don't know it, but he is my secret tv bpyfriend! LOL!) Once I  can taste food again, I am going to be cooking up a storm. It passed the time well. 

Feeling pretty good so far. A bit sleepy, but that's it. I managed a trip to Target for the extravagant purchases in life: toilet paper, laundry soap, and alpha lipoic acid. Look at me, living so high on that spousal support! Then attended a parent meeting for PSR. The moron attended, but he was decent. He agreed to come for dinner and pumpkin carving tomorrow. (Look at me, Nomatter, being all nice! LOL!) I am not thinking it will last, but I don't want to deal with that pumpkin myself! Of course, my boys picked out the biggest one!

Hope everyone is feeling well this evening, and had a peaceful, healthy day!

Nomatterwhat

Badhairday, I am so glad it went well for you today.  It is amazing how many people you have that want to help and just be there for you.  "He who doesn't deserve you", maybe has finally realized what a moron he has been and is trying to be human to you again.  OR...... his dad thumped him upside his head (like so many of us would like to do).  Hang in there, hon.  You are doing great!!!!    I don't see your DX. May I ask??

badhairday

Hopefully, I did this right and my dx and tx will show up in my profile. You can ask away, Nomatter. After giving birth five times and a bmx, modesty is a long forgotten memory! LOL!

Ironically, my dx was the result of a lump I found on the left side, that turned out to be a cyst. I opted  for bmx due to family hx, and I am so glad I did, as there was suspicious activity on the pathology on the left, but nothing to definitively call cancer. I had two different types of cancer in the right breast and never felt a thing on that side. Odd how things work out.

Nomatterwhat

Wow, no wonder I like you!!!!  LOL!!!  I had pre cancer cells in the left breast and I had ILC (6cm+) in the right and to top things off, the way I found it was by the DCIS lump (1.0 cm) also in the right one.  My ILC did not show up on any tests I had.  What a surprise to be told a BMX was in order after waking up from a lumpectomy.  Oh well, look at me now!!!!  Not to bad for a fat old broad with no hair and no boobs!!!!  LOL!!!!  My last day of chemo and I am alive!!!! 

How did radiation treat you?  I have a consult with a radiation oncologist next week and am NOT looking forward to it.  Have a great night. 

badhairday

Nomatterwhat, you look amazing!

Our stories are eerily similar, other than the chemo tx. Taxotere tried to kill me. 

I haven't started rads yet. Have to meet with the RO in a couple weeks. Still considering a prophylactic ooph or hysterectomy too. Then exchange surgery in spring/summer. Did you choose not to do reconstruction or put it off? The TEs have been the most painful part of all of this. Some days, I really regret going for it. Sure hope it's worth it when my new boobs are installed!

badhairday

By the way, it is 12:30 am, and I am making pizza rolls (super healthy stuff) instead of sleeping. Thank you Decadron! Who needs rest, when she can eat all the crap food in the house?  (On the plus side, my kitchen and bathroom are spotless, and I did two loads of laundry. So, thanks Decadron for that too I guess!)