Happily living breastfree
I have been breast free since Feb 2012. Adjusted well after 6 months. Turned anxiety and self consciousness into a passion for fashion and found the clothes that worked... faves include JayJays stretch top camisoles (bend forward breastless and they don't open up to show what's not there :-) and things like cowl neck tops/dresses, smock/tunic tops with yolks and gathering to give texture around the chest, round neck tops/dresses to not draw V neck attention to what I don't have, flowing sleeveless cardigans to add layers and break side on views, fluffy textured jumpers/sweaters... most people have no idea I'm breastfree because my clothes don't draw attention to it. :-)
Comments
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Donna, I am always looking for the right clothing too...there is a website called Flatter Your Flatness and it shows some current items still in stores as suggestions for what looks attractive.
Winter is never a problem with being flat, but this summer is a new challenge with the heat.
You are right though, at first I resisted because my old clothing looked so poorly on me, but now I embrace the idea of flattering the new me.
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Donna, I too, LOVE being breast-free! I'd had my real breasts reduced (painful surgery!!!) years before I got cancer and they were still too big and exacerbated my neck and back arthritis. This has been so much better being flat. People say that you will get back problems because of being flat, but I think it's wearing protheses that make your back sore; hunching your shoulders to keep your weighted breast shapes in place like you'd do for a shoulder purse!
I wear all the kinds of clothing you do as well as ruching. I LOVE ruching!!! Covers a slightly bigger belly and no one notices the breastlessness.
I also use chunky jewelry at my neck and big earrings of I'm not wearing a necklace. Also I have different eyeglasses I wear depending on the situation (work, etc) that help distract.
Very happy flat person here! (Not happy for the reason though, but even my reduction surgeon wouldn't take me as small as I wanted to go!!) So now I'm flat and everyone says that it looks like I've lost a TON of weight!! Nice to not have my breast shelf enter the room before I do!! I worked with a women for six months before I mentioned it and her jaw literally hit her desk!! She was mortified!!! I told her it was a GOOD thing that she didn't notice and to stop apologizing!! Someone else that found out said "Oh, but you're such a happy person...". Like, why wouldn't I be??
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Where did you find Jays Jays camisoles? Would be perfect now!
My port is sensitive so I've had a hard time finding shirts that don't bother it. -
It is so nice to hear from ladies that are happy living breast free. I am having my painful implants removed Tuesday and will be breast free too! Great to hear about fashion tips and am pleased to hear some positive t houghts.
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Hey All,
Been breastfree for 6 months as well, and like you found that retail therapy was actually really, really helpful! I love thrift shops, and vintage stores as well as your mainstream clothing sellers. The first time I went shopping was about 2 weeks after I had my drains out. I couldn't even get my arms all the way over my head! Got stuck in one dress and laughed hysterically for about 5 minutes while trying to wriggle out of it. I've found the basic principle of shopping hasn't changed much. Try a million things on until you find one you love! Speaking of things I love, BACKLESS shirts and dresses. I could never really make them work when I had to wear a bra. Now they look amazing!
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hahahahaha, I hear you about getting stuck in clothes!! I got stuck in a cotton top (no stretch!!) in a Walmart change room and was about to phone my husband to come and save me when I got out! I think it was from laughing which changed the shape of my torso that helped. Funny what works...hehehehehe. Backless, one shoulder off, all those things DO feel sexy now that we don't need a bra!! I also love the feel of the fabric sliding across my chest....
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Barbe, "backless, one shoulder off" - yep. The other day one shoulder of my peasant top slid off and I absent-mindedly started to pull it back up when DH said, "don't do that. Leave that right there. That is SO sexy." That really made me beam.
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SO, so, SO happy to join all of you. Had my 6 year old small(300cc) silicone implants removed last week. Told surgeon I didn't want reconstruction, and she urged me to see the PS she worked with - I was led to believe it was "so easy, simple." Well, wrong - but it sure increased the $$$$ the hospital got. Live & learn. I found a GOOD plastic surgeon at another local hospital to put in the very small ( poached egg size is how I described it to her) and after 5+ years of pain - couldn't tell how much from Arimidex, and how much from those blobs under my pec muscle, I had them out. PS a dear, she did it in her office, tho she wanted to do it in hospital, agreed to do it in her office, all went well, no pain, even tho one of the damn things HAD ruptured.
SO - now that I can FEEEEEEEEEL my own chest, no numb blobs, pec muscle FREEEE, I can take deep breathes without feeling weird - all this is leading up to.
Camisoles. I could never wear them pre bc cuz I was HUGE - and I wore Olga minimizers. Now, where does one go to find camisoles ( I am LARGE, well, sturdy?) so no little dainty Victoria's Secret....
Do NOT want to wear a bra, nothing harnessy. Thinking about making "forms" with micro beads, just to fill in the conave bits and make the fat flaps on both sides less noticeable. May have them ( dog ears) removed later - but for now - finished with Arimidex I'm even losing weight. We'll see in a few months.
Thanks for advice - soft, silky, NOT EXPENSIVE, comfortable - size extra large and happily flat, FLAT, FLAT. Well, concave. No pain, No hard lumps. YEAH!
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Meant to add - I only wear t shirts in summer, long sleeve t shirts in winter. Have an iron, which I've used for crafts, not for clothes. Jackets, scarves - so the camisole is mostly to FEEEEEEEL good - haven't worn anything for the 6 years I had implants - but they were too weird a shape, flat, more towards arm pits than center of chest, and felt so awful I never wanted to wear a camisole. So it's not clothes for me, will still wear what I've always worn.
Don't even own a dress - well, a few - but haven't worn in years. Pull up pants - jersey in winter, linen in summer. FLAX Floods - yeah, Flax.
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river-rat what a LOVELY compliment from your DH!!! See, we DO still look sexy!!!
Sunflowers, I get my camis at Walmart. They have great selections all year. I get a bunch of colours and patterns and wear them alone or under stuff. It's too hot to worry about concave parts. You will lose some of the built-up areas that supported your breasts and it will even out mostly. When we stand in front of a mirror to analyze how we look we see those concave areas but if we walk towards a mirror they are not noticeable. If anyone notices mine I don't care! I beat breast cancer and have the scars to prove it. Why would I hide that?
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barbe - THANK YOU - it's the part under the concave that seems the strangest - so that gradually evens out - good. I never thought to look at W-M. That's where I get my Hanes.....thanks!
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Sun, I had that "ridge", (also known as a "fat ridge" by my surgeon) to support my 42D's. It took a while to flatten out but they do. Enjoy your retail therapy!!
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barbe1958- It is good to know that the ridge flattens out as well. I was concerned about that since I went from DD to AA after my DX. Oh, BTW, I guess you could call me Lezza1956
sunflowerMA- . I will have to try out camis- never worn them before. I thought I would be just stuck with those bras with inserts but it is nice to know there are options I totally agree with the pain free idea from my "Implant lumps" I like to call them.Flat even with a little look of concave feels wonderful now. Yay! back at you.
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I had BMX 8 weeks ago. My main flat-related worry was about swimming and swimsuits. I decided to just try my regular pre-surgery one-piece suit at the gym - before spending big $$$ for pocket suit and specialized swim prostheses. The regular suit works fine, even with the bra-type inner band still there. My experience over all is that no one really notices. There are plenty of naturally small-breasted and flat-chested women out there, and peole will just assume you are one of them.
One unexpected flat-related experience - I discovered that, in profile, the volume of the busom generally serves to camouflage the volume of the pot belly. My physical therapist really helped with this by recommending good posture. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders back, and emphasize lumbar curve of the back (it feels at first like you're sticking your butt out). This looks good and feels good - it's therapeutic for healing incisions and engages the core muscles of the torso - and the over all effect is slimming.
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julesbrca2,
I really agree with your comment about posture. My aunt (who I take after) looks flat even though she isn't because she hunches her shoulders so much. Since my mastectomy, I've really worked on keeping my shoulders back and down. At first it felt as though I was jutting my chest way forward but when I looked in a mirror, I could see it looked like good posture!
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Thanks, Erica, Jules, anybody
do you know any good exercises to IMPROVE posture, I am so naturally "hunched" - unless I am VERY conscious of my posture, which isn't often
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sunflowerma: I think I am naturally hunched too. I am going to a PT next week and will find out about posture exercises for the both of us.
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I do believe there are shoes that can help you with that. I have expensive walking shoes made by a company that says they help you trim your butt and legs. I find I do walk better in them that in my flip flops....
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Sunflower, if you go to a yoga postures site and check "chest openers" you" ll get some goo ideas. I was in PT for back issues recently and the Ed's he gave me were almost all yoga postures. That said, one has to be careful if one has LE not to put too much on the arms in some poses.
I also am a natural huncher, and am trying to overcome it before going completely flat lol! -
GREAT IDEA- chest openers! Off to check them out - THANK YOU
Let's try some exercises, and let each other know which ones seem to work - to make us Ex-hunchers
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I agree those "chest opener" yoga poses should help. Also I was told by my OT today to squeeze your shoulder blades back together and then relax. That should help with the hunching over and it feels great to do it.
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Best "chest openers" for me - roll shoulders straight up and then back and down; stand in a corner, place a hand on each wall (level with elbows), lean in gently and let gravity work; stand and practice swim strokes - crawl, backstroke, breast stroke.
Because most of us have our pectoral muscles cut, it's important to open the chest now and remember to keep it open in our daily routines. Also lifting exercises (eventually w/small weights) to strengthen and repair pecs.
For any exercise, start wherever you are, whatever your range of motion, and then be gentle and persistent. Don't push it. Yoga exercises, yes! - and a yoga state of mind. And don't do this alone ...
Get a physical therapist experienced with mastectomy. A knowledgable and supportive ally and partner will teach you how best to help - and not hurt - yourself.
A skilled PT can also offer tissue massage to break up scarring and adhesion around and under the incision and where those stupid drains were.
This kind of therapeutic touch has been as important as exercise for me to regain range of motion and to feel more in touch and more normal about my new self.
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Jules - THANK YOU...off to the corner
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Leaning into a doorway between rooms with your hands on either wall is a quick and easy stretch! Position your feet where you feel a true stretch when you lean forward.
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Hello ladies, new here. Had my BMX at the end of may. Was thinking about recon.. but after having no bra to worry about or anything, I kind of like the care free status! LOL At least for now. I really could care less about the breast to be honest.
jules.. thanks for that stretch.. I will have to practice that one more often. I really need to get my posture back up and well and also my breathing. My chiro said that I am taking too shallow of breaths, which also can interfere with my posture. So I'm gonna work with her on stretching and breathing.
I do have swelling around my MX site that started after chemo. So I get to have an MLD massage tomorrow to try to drain things a bit. It's hard to do exercises when you can't move too much and it hurts to move. So here's hoping that with a few treatments, the swelling will come down.
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Melissa - hope the MLD massage helps. There are several organizations with exercises for MX women. I'll go to my bookshelf to get some titles to post...
Also notice you are 3N - do you know about the Triple Negative Foundation. http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/ It's an excellent source for information - I'm not objective tho, several people I know are invloved with it.
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I have to make a decision: reconstruction or breast free. My left breast is reconstructed with tram flap 8 years ago. It is much smaller than my natural breast. A few months ago, mammo found cancer in my right breast. A mastectomy is being scheduled, and so I am having a lot of discussion about flat or reconn. I am concerned that reconstruction with TE and implant requires cutting the pectoral muscle, which scares me, having opted to cut for the tram flap....a procedure in retrospect, I would not repeat if offered and available. So, I am afraid to again select a procedure that will again cut into a good functional muscle as retaining range of motion and strength in my upper body is very important to me. Does the mastectomy reduce strength? Should I workout to strengthen the pectoral muscle prior to surgery? Will my upper body strength recover after mastectomy?
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This morning on C B S, there was the famous model who had her breastless picture on the NY Times in 1993. She did it to draw attention to the disease that was pretty much hidden from the public.
Now, she is finally having reconstruction with fat stem cell transplantation. They said it is the direction reconstruction is taking. There is resistance because of the big investment in doing it the old way. I know this new method is available all over now especially in the big cities. Just saying, you could wait to decide. No rush. -
Links from CBS Sunday Morning...
The model and the mastectomy: Baring scars then and now
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57599027/the-model-and-the-mastectomy-baring-scars-then-and-now/
New wonder drug? Statins may have use beyond cholesterol
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-33816_162-57593604/new-wonder-drug-statins-may-have-use-beyond-cholesterol/ -
Question the media hyping statins as a 'wonder drug' only months after major study showing something like 10% or more of people taking them are thrown into type II diabetes. Same result for those taking Niacin to reduce cholesterol. Many interactions of these drugs - NOT without SE's for many, many people.
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