Starting Chemo July 2013

2bluestars

Thanks ladies.

Rambo, I knew my surgery date for awhile, they just don't give the patient the actual time till the day before said surgery...kinda strange I know.

Soriya, I'll be keeping you in my prayers Wednesday. Actually, I'll be thinking of and praying for all of you. It's another step closer to our goal. :-)

Hang in there ladies. Hugs!

candi07

2bluestar praying things go well for you tomorrow

Hannariggs

Hi All,

If anyone has a free pass with the man upstairs, I could sure use one. Tomorrow I get the results of my follow up petscan. I could have waited several months, but I just had to know if the chemo worked. My breast cancer had not reached my nodes, but there were a couple of spots that they though were scar tissue in my lung and liver. If they are gone then I guess they were cancerous. If they are still there then they are scar tissue. As long as nothing else pops up. I am trying not to get anxious, but you all know how that goes. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. Probably not. Is anyone else having problems with fatigue? Its so frustrating trying to get back in the swing of things when the mind is willing but the body is not. I guess what can you expect when you have been out of commission for 8 months. Love to all...

TwoHobbies

Hanna thinking of you and hope for good results. I don't think the stress ever permanently goes away. Every scan or test we will stress-hopefully not so much in between though.

Soriya and blue stars good luck with your surgeries this week.

Fatigue and hair will resolve. Although I still have some fatigue issues (like today for instance) it is overall much improved. And I have a full head of almost an inch long hair. Too bad the chemo did not destroy the grays!

LanaM

Good luck tomorrow 2bluestars! We'll all be thinking about you. I love your porn star/uncle fester comment! It's even funnier because I dressed up as uncle fester for halloween at work! I googled "bald halloween costumes" and debated between mr clean and uncle fester LOL! We won the contest! I think we were on the same chemo schedule - I'm actually starting to get hair - mostly baby fuzz, but growing! Rambo good luck with your surgery too. Hannariggs hoping for good news for you!

Congrats Soriya on the good news! I actually feel "almost normal" - I not only cooked dinner the last 2 nights but each were new recipes from Pinterest! I'm taking advantage as I'm afraid it will change once I start rads. I have appointment fri for the mold, then hopefully apptmt next week for tests, tattoos and simulation. Lana

soriya123

Hannarigg,  praying for good results.  I kno every test  and pain always stress u out.  Is this your first PET scan?  

soriya123

talking about hair, i am one month out from chemo, i'm still bald.  cant wait till it grow back.

Girlstrong

Lana...your picture is awesome and so appropriate for our "porn to fester" conversation. You ladies make me smile.

2bluestars and soriya: you'll be in my prayers for a successful surgery and recovery.

Hannariggs: deep breaths. You too will be in my prayers .

Be strong my BC sisters. We will get through all of this.

angelanature

Hi All,Hannariggs have you heard anything yet? Bluestars ,you and Soriya are in my thoughts today.Soriya,I'm not dealing with such serious trauma as you but have been experiencing depression more now than when on chemo. I'm thinking it could be the neurontin I started or being off Ativan and now feeling more sadness than anger. I'd rather be bald than white wisps and irrationally thinking my hair will never be the same again. Radiation is physically no problem but emotionally horrible for me,having to face my breast ca every single day really sucks.I can't go back to work because I get a different appt times everyday and yesterday the machine was down,drove 2 hours for nothing.I'm putting on a brave face everyday but 6 more weeks of this seems like forever.At least with the chemo it was every 2 weeks and my family(hubby included)were very sympathic ,now they're like what's the big deal?Lying on a metal slab,topless,with huge machines whirling around for an hour,having to lay perfectly still with only my thoughts has been proving to be REALLY challenging.Well,like I keep trying to tell myself we have to do whatever we can to kill this cancer.Hugs All,Angela

Mellie289

I'm so happy about your benign diagnosis, soriya! What a relief for you!

Lana - you are so gutsy!!! I posted on my FB page about missing out on a great Uncle Fester costume this year since I didn't dress up for Halloween. That is such a fun picture!

My hair has started growing - 4 weeks since the last infusion. I have a soft fuzz that is a bit patchy, but mostly pretty dark except for the white that I had before it all fell out. I'll probably have it all grow back in the same - fine, limp and perfectly straight. I'm hoping for some curls or waviness though. My eyebrows and lashes have mostly hung on, but the little blank spots in my brows now have signs of regrowth too. I have been religiously applying brow and lash conditioner from day one except for one week in the middle of chemo when I ran out of conditioner - that's when I had some losses.

I'm so happy to be half way through radiation now. So far, it's much easier than chemo, but I still have awful muscle exhaustion hanging on from the chemo. It hasn't really gotten any better. It's so depressing sometimes to think that I've had these sore, fatigued muscles for over two months straight now, especially my thighs. It kills me to walk up the stairs at night to go to bed sometimes. I just keep wondering when it's going to get better and I can start getting back in shape again.

angela - sorry you have having such a rough go with the radiation. I really pushed my RO to let me do the 4 week protocol instead of the 6.5 week one because I would have been utterly depressed to do that into the new year and miss Christmas with my family, but also 33 treatments would have grinded me down too much with all the driving. I can't imagine a 2 hour drive for it. I wish your family were more sympathetic. In my case, the radiation so far has been pretty much nothing, but my BF keeps asking me every day how it went and how I'm doing. My RO seemed to think Ativan would be good to take during radiation therapy and asked me if I wanted a prescription. I'm not interested because I wouldn't be able to drive myself to radiation on it since it knocked me down, but my RO said it sounds like I'm a lightweight when it comes to Ativan.

2bluestars and soriya - my best thoughts and wishes for your surgeries!

Hugs, Firecrackers! We're getting there. I'm off for zap #11 now and I'll be thinking of you all.

2bluestars

Hi all. I'm home. Everything went ok. I'm sore of course. Thank you for your prayers. I'll give ya the scoop later, too tired to tonight.

Girlstrong

2bluestars....Welcome Home!!!!! Slept and rest well; take care of yourself and give us the inside scoop when your able.

angelanature

Bluestars I'm glad you're home,I hope you have a speedy recovery.Thinking of you Soriya too. Thanks Mellie for your thoughts and caring words.Sorry I'm such a complainer,I'm just so done with all this,everytime I think things will get better,well,they don't. I think I really need to get back to work and concentrate on someone else for a change. Hugs All,Angela

Mellie289

angela - don't apologize! You have a right to 'complain' and this is the place to do it. I think of a person as a complainer when they do it all the time for no reason. We are venting about our pain and frustration here and you certainly have had MORE than your share during your treatment from what I've read. I have gone through this saying relatively little because I see others like you suffering so much more, but we've all had our reasons to vent, scream and cry at some time or another through this.

We are all different. Radiation hasn't had the same effect on me of facing breast cancer every day - I mostly just stress over the horrible traffic to get there and back (the main reason why I bought a townhouse within walking distance of work) - but I understand what you are feeling. This is what has kept me from joining a support group or taking up kind offers by people to introduce me to family or friends who have been through this already. I don't want to be around more cancer than I need to be to get through my treatment at this point. I'll consider that later, but for now, I'm doing just I what I need to do for me to get through this.

Radiation is hard because of the daily grind of it. I hate that I am having to wear a sticker over a big X near my nipple all the time on a very swollen breast that is starting to get red and sore because one of the tattoo positions needed to be moved after the CT scans were examined by my RO in her planning. I already feel like I look mutilated enough from the surgery scars. I can deal with it because it will be over soon and I've got my SO's support and care. It sounds like you have a much further drive than I do and I can't fathom doing that for 6 weeks. I can see why this is so emotionally horrible for you, especially if you've lost the sympathy and support at home now. It's good that you can concentrate on someone else at work as a distraction from cancer for a while.

I hope your treatment will be shorter - my first day was laying still for about 45 minutes, but now they are usually pretty quick. I'm in and out in about 15 minutes except on the days that I have X-rays that are a little longer or meet with the RO or her nurse practitioner afterwards. Those longer days don't seem as bad as the simulation day or the first day when they were checking everything with X-rays.

soriya123

Hi Guys,surgery n TE went well.  still sore, i took pain killer every 4 hrs. dont kno what going on with the results yet. all i kno she took 2 lymph nodes out.  she didnt do ALND.

GraceB1

Warning - big rant. I'm facing my last taxotere infusion tomorrow and I cannot express how much I am dreading it. I've been hospitalized twice in the last 9 weeks. I've counted up over two dozen different side effects that I am suffering from including neuropathy, nausea, nail loss, skin pealing, fatigue, anemia, constipation/diareaha, blurry eyes, skin so dry it's cracking, and on and on. It's been three weeks since the last infusion and I can barely make it up the stairs at night to go to bed. How am I going to be in any shape for my mx on Jan 8th? My family is all excited about it being my last treatment but all I can do is cry. So tired of feeling sick. I know I have to finish but can't somebody just put me in a coma for 4 weeks and let it all be over? Just showing up tomorrow will be the hardest thing I've ever done. And then the afternoon is filled with pre-op appointments. Double whammy of dealing with bc. OK, rant over. Hopefully I can get through tomorrow without crying all over the place. Wish me luck.

Girlstrong

soriya123....yeah you made it to the other side with no ALND!!!!!!! Great news. I am happy for you.

Grace B1: the side effects we experience are countless. However, you have made it through the hardest parts. My last chemo is on Dec 12th . It's like a double edged sword; you really don't want to go but you have to to go. I feel the same. You will feel better for your surgery. I am glad you have the support of your family. They are right....you CAN do this. Best of luck tomorrow as you close out this chapter of you BC journey.

Mellie289

Aw, Grace... HUGS to you! I know how you feel about barely making it up the stairs at night. I have had that for my last three cycles and let me tell you that more than once, I made it up only by crawling using my hands and feet. Walking up many time meant sitting on the stairs for a rest at the top or getting to my bed and flopping down for a rest. I have been complaining about this muscle weakness and fatigue so much lately, but I have to say that today I felt an increment of improvement now in my 4th week after the final chemo. I hope I'm finally going to start getting better now. For me, the muscle problems are the only chemo side effects I've got lingering and I wouldn't be hindered from having a surgery how I feel right now. Good luck tomorrow and I hope you'll bounce back from it by your surgery.

Glad to hear your surgeries went well, 2bluestars and soriya. Wishing you both an easy recover, especially if you have drains! My drain was more painful and bothersome than anything else.

Hannariggs

Hi All,

Well I finally have some GOOD news and something to cheer about. My follow up petscan came back clear! Whoo Hoo! No signs of the beast. I have 16 more radiations to go and then a bell ringing party. I just started Arimidex. Has anyone started that yet? Our cancer center has just signed me up as a counselor to help other breast cancer patients facing the same upcoming treatments. I was thrilled. A way to give back. I am so excited.......

Soriya-So happy you are on the mend. It wont be long now. We can all put this behind us.

Grace-So sorry your down in the dumps. You have ever reason to feel that way, but look how far you have come? Only 4 little weeks and you will have made that hill and its downhill from there. Hang in there. You got this........

Angela-missing you and sending you positive vibes from Iowa

JeriGrace

Hannariggs, congratulations on your clear scan!! Such good news. You will be great as a counselor - how exciting to be able to use your experience to help other women! Only 3 more rads and I'll be ringing the bell too. Ready to be done but also nervous about it. I'll be starting Arimadex or Femara in a couple of weeks. Anxious to hear how you do with it.

Soriya and 2bluestars, so glad you came through your surgeries. Take it slow and get plenty of rest.

Rambo, how are you doing?

Grace, don't give up! It is so hard to push through that last one but this really is the worst part. I got so irritated with everyone who was so excited about my last treatment when I knew I still had more SE to come. Hopefully the chemo has shrunk your tumor and by this time next month it will all be gone!

Haven't been posting much but thinking of all of you. Hang in there!

angelanature

Hi All, Yah Hannariggs!!!!! I'm soooo happy for you! Mellie,you are such an angel,thankyou for you! Soriya,you've done it girl speedy recoup to you.Bluestars too! Grace,I know what you're going through.I too had the worse experience with Taxol,when I didn't feel like I was dying I wished I was,soo much pain and agony! I hated every minute of it and also got the dreaded neuropathy.My last one ,I seriously had to be dragged to by my hubby.It's been almost 2 months now and I've been off painkillers for over a month and the pain is gone. Not the neuropathy but neurontin has helped that though a side effect of that has been depression(I think).The depression also could be from radiation,lack of family support,or lack of sleep because of restless leg too, though.I didn't have the skin issues,that and having to be in the hospital might have thrown me over the edge,but it was truly awful,worse than adriamycin and cytoxan by far.The good news is I felt better 2 to 3 weeks after my last one so there is an end to the torture coming for you.I promise you will be glad you finished and will feel so much better soon.Rambo,miss u girl,what's up? Too all of you,how would I have gotten through all this with out you all? Hugs!!!! Angela

Rambo50

Wow! So much to respond to - not sure I'll get it all in - home from Surgery #1 this morning (ovaries and Fallopian tubes removed) and will have my 2nd next Friday (other breast removal). My pain meds are kicking in so I'll say what I can and add later

So glad for your successful surgeries, Soriya and 2bluestars!!!

Hannariggs - congrats on clear scans :):)

Grace - I TOTALLY get the side effects!!! I'm having trouble with neuropathy as well - feet and hands- and it's driving me crazy! Tough to sleep I've also got the dry skin, loss of a nail, and anemia (a chronic condition for me anyway). Hugs and hang in there!!!

Angela and Mellie - rant away!!! Lord knows I do it at least one a week to my bestie (good ears and supportive shoulder even though she's not a pink warrior). Jealous of your hair, Mellie - I'm 5 weeks out and still nothing but invisible fuzz It's my brows and lashes I want back - only 3 little hairs hung on around my eyes - lol

Drifting off for another rest for now, hugs to ALL of you amazing women!!!

2bluestars

Hi everyone.

I'm healing nicely from surgery. I've been able to cut way back on the pain meds. Would be able to stop them completely if not for the drains. That's the part that hurts the most. And they itch something fierce. I hope he'll take them out on Thursday when I go for my post op check up.

I got to take a shower today, that felt wonderful. I thought I was going to have to wait a long time before I could shower, but my bs said it was ok to get the sutures wet. I'm actually glued shut, not sure if that has anything to do with it or not.

BS called today to give me the pathology report. I'm not sure what I feel. A week after my last chemo I had an MRI and it showed no evidence of disease, so for the last 5 weeks I've thought I was cancer free. Well the report showed there was a very tiny amount of cancer left in the breast. ( it's gone now since I've had surgery). But dang I really wasn't expecting to hear that. On a positive note, none of the nodes showed cancer. He removed 11. At the end of the conversation, he did say he was very happy with my results and that he considers me cancer free and will do everything he can to help me stay that way. So yay! I am relieved and happy, but just disappointed the chemo didn't kill 100% of the cancer.

I'd like to address everyone's post but I'm too loopy from the meds. I'm thinking of you all and praying for your speedy recoveries and mininmal se's.

momx2

Soriya, 2Bluestars , Rambo, congrats on successful surgeries . Speedy recovery to you all.

Hannigarings great news clear scans , yay.

Mellie hang in there

Angelnatur I know how you feel yesterday was my last taxol and it was bitter sweet.

Day after christmas i start herceptin only then bilateral mx in Jan . It seems never ending but we're all getting there finish line is in sight .

good luck to you all ! wishing you all health n happiness

m1970

hannariggs, congrats on the clear scans!

2bluestars, sorry you are disappointed with your pathology results, but I the cancer did shrink right? If it was that small to begin with normally they would have done surgery first.

Grace, sorry you are having the blues. It's very normal to feel this way at the end of treatment. You have to take this at your own pace. Congrats on reaching this milestone, even if you are not quite ready to celebrate.

Soriya, if your BS only took 2 nodes they must have appeared free of cancer. The pathology will look at every cell, but it is looking promising. I hate waiting for path results, I hope you get yours soon.

Mellie, I wish my brows and lashes would have stayed, I hate this look! People say I look tired...they know something is off but not sure what. Radiation does get old, and I'd imagine that if it was a long commute that would be hard.

Angela, I'm sorry this has been so rough for you. Not working was hard for me too. I wanted to do more than go to doctors appointments. I would actually get dressed up for it because it was the highlight of my week...how sad is that? I hope you can return to your "real life" soon.

Someone here asked about Arimidex, I can't find it now. Anyway I just want to say I was on it for 3-4 years and can't recall any side effects specific to the drug.

So an update on me...I went in for herceptin today and my port would not work! They tried it several times and they think it might be turned over. I'm getting an X-ray on Monday to try to see what is wrong. I had to do an IV in my hand because that's the only place they could get a line (after 2 other stick attempts in my arm). I can't imagine what I may have done to flip my port...except I had a terrible cough a few weeks ago. So annoying.

2bluestars

Marsha, yes, my tumors shrank significantly during chemo. After the 3rd chemo, bs said tumor had shrunk by 90%. After 2 more treatments, he said I had a complete clinical response, he could not find it with his hand or ultra sound, then after i finished treatments and had an MRI, he said I had a complete radiological response. Two out of three. He said after surgery if it was clear, that would be a complete pathological response. I was a little loopy from meds when I talked to him, so I didn't get the exact size of what was remaining, but he said it was so small, that he was happy with my treatment results and considers me cancer free, which is big if you knew my bs. I will see him Thursday, hopefully to get the drains (2) removed and to talk to him about my pathology results with a clearer head. MO had suggested that the cancer was gone but the "shell" would still be there that's why I would still need surgery. I hope that is all there is to it. I am happy with my results, but I was a bit disappointed that I didn't the CPR. I'll start rads in January, sooner if I can.

angelanature

Hi All,Yah Momx2!!! Done!Marsha sorry to hear about your port,that's strange,hopefuly they can flip it back around.I'm happy for you 2bluestars,you'll feel so much better after they pull the drains.Rambo it was good to hear from you,I was worried,quick recovery to you.I took a 6 hr bls course for healthcare providers,my brain is not what it was.Also strength wise i could barely do 5 rounds of compressions,exhausted!Thank God I passed,I have to have to start back to work in January.I have blisters already on my breast from radiation,ugly,only 10 txs in,damn my fair skin,I can't imagine what I'll look like 35 txs in,no more cleavage showing shirts for me for a while. Hugs All,Angela

soriya123

Hannarigg, i am so happy for your clear scan.   To all my ladies, day 4 so far so good.  Pain still there, but pain killer is workin very well.    Yes the drains is pain in the butt.  I only had MX so I still have my left arm to do minor things.  I cant imagine any of you sisters had BMX done.  Hang in there sisters!

JeriGrace

Hi all, tomorrow is my last radiation treatment. Should be jumping for joy. So what's this weird feeling of reluctance to be done? I'm wondering if these last 9 months of treatments have made me feel like at least someone is taking care of me. Now I'll be in a free fall. I was so relieved when my RO said today that he wants me to come in next week so he can check my skin!

Anyone else had this feeling? Hopefully it won't last long. I really do want to get back to something that resembles normal.

soriya123

Jerigrace, i heard many women feel like that on other thread.  some women had mentioned will take at least 2 yrs to be somewhat normal again .  during treatments we feel safe cus we have someone taking  care of us, when treatments all done, we feel lost and all alone. i hope your feeling wont last long so you can back to your normal life.