April 2013 Chemo Group

Molinda

Indenial



Just going into week 2 of chemo #1. But I feel ya girl. Been too tired to keep up.



Sending prayers, love and hugs to all!

Melinda

MsPharoah

In denial, my onc told me that I should figure recovery will take the same amount of time I spent doing chemo. So for me, my chemo was 18 weeks. I figure I have a way to go yet, but like you, I am having more good days and i am about 6 weeks pfc. I started femara two weeks ago and I start radiation next week, so I feel I am in this for the long haul...sadly. Been having a lot of itching and insomnia with femara. I will talk to my onc in a few weeks if this doesn't resolve. My hair is definitely growing....unfortunately I had to pluck that pesky chin whisker yesterday. Lol



Best to all who finished or starting chemo.



Sandra

AmyQ

I having itching too and had no idea it could be from the Femara. Fortunately no insomnia as I take Tylenol PM about an hour before bed. Good luck to you Sandra. I hope you can start getting some sleep.

MsPharoah

Amy, thanks for the input. I'm going to try the Tylenol pm to see if that helps. Weird about the itching, huh? I see it is a side effect, tho not a common one. Hope you are doing well.



Sandra

daffyc

Indenial, I'm 6 weeks PFC and have pretty good energy.  I haven't been resting much during the day at all and doing most of my normal routine, but can still feel the fatigue at times.  You are right, when it hits-it hits!  I have to remind myself when I get frustrated that I was tired at times pre chemo, too.  Sometimes it's hard to tell what is normal and what is from chemo.  Chemo brain doesn't help with remembering.

I was so happy to make it through an airplane trip last week.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep up with it all, but did just fine.  I was TIRED the night we got home (3 different flight segments-uggh!) and slept the best I have in months:)  

I have not started radiation or hormonals yet as I have my big surgery this coming Friday.  I'm sure that will knock me backwards in the fatigue dept for a few weeks:(  

MsPharoah

Daffy, how is your father doing with his treatments? We're you able to have some quality time with him? You have a big surgery coming and we all send you calming and healing hugs. Keep us posted when you can.



Sandra

daffyc

Sandra, thank you so much for asking about my dad.  It was a really nice visit with my family.  My dad was doing pretty good, but I could tell he was pretty tired by the day we left.  He finished his 7th day of a chemo cycle that day.  He has been getting stronger since then and out and about a little more, too.  He has his next biopsy this Thurs...the day before my surgery.  I don't know if they'll have results before my surgery on Fri....and unless it's good news, I don't know if I want to know until afterwards.  He is inspiring in continuing his fight!

PamelaKay

Indenial, I've definitely noticed that my fatigue (3 weeks pf taxol) comes and goes. I think it is related to my activity level. If I do a lot one day, the next I am tired. I am also doing a lot more now with no chemo for an excuse.

I have definite head fuzz. A good quarter inch or so. Not coming back anywhere else that I can tell. 

Had a rather disconcerting experience last week. I'm not usually a gym person, but because of not being able to do much of my usual exercise (martial arts), and because my underage son wanted to join, I signed up at the local fitness club. I didn't even think about changing in a locker room until the first day I went...then realized that there was no way I was going to strip in a locker room with other women. What with my deconstructed breast looking like a deflated balloon stuck on my chest and still leaking goop, I changed in the bathroom stall. I guess I'll just continue with that for a while. No showers for me either. 

I find myself looking wistfully at other women's breasts and feeling more abnormal than ever. I still haven't found a comfortable way to feel about my post mastectomy body, and now with the failed reconstruction it's even more problematical. It doesn't help that reconstruction is likely to be many months down the road (due to dealing with the thyroid issues), and even then I still won't have matching sides unless I decide to reduce the other side. 

Sometimes I forget about it entirely, other times it looms large. Obviously I still have a lot of processing to do.

BeHereNow

PamelaKay, I identify so much with what you've shared. I've had moments of grief and moments when I have forgotten all about cancer and my breasts. Sending a big hug your way!

anne11595

Daffyc,good luck with your surgery on Friday. We all will be thinking of you. Let us know how it is going when you can.



Pamela,this whole cancer stuff sucks. It makes our lifes a little crazy. Things that never had to think of gets hard to deal with!!



Today I'm off to the chemo bar. Then 2 more to go.yea!! Not much felling in my left foot . Finger tips are starting now and right foot toes. So much fun is being had!!



But we are all fighters and we will make the best of this cancer crap!! Just some days are harder then others. Hugs to everyone!

6cats

Its official! Someone other than me says my hair is growing!

heather214

Hello all,

So sorry I have not checked in with everyone. To be honest, depression has hit me terribly. I have been off work for 6 weeks, restarted my chemo. I go back to work next Monday part-time and am terrified. But, I am more scared not to. I don't know how I ended up in the wallows, but it has been so bad.

I have one more chemo, have found the Taxol not bad really at all. Then I start radiation. Have a PET scan in about an hour and am really scared this time. I met a lady at chemo who stated my feelings exactly, "Trying to look forward to a time when I am not being cut on, cut off of, hurt, poked or stuck." This is why I have been absent, you know the old saying "If you have nothing nice to say..."

Welcome to all the newbies and a big cyber hug to all the oldies-but-goodies!

                                                         Heather

Molinda

Pamela, I feel you girl since they removed my left expander due to infection so I could start chemo so 24 wks of chemo an possibly radiation and then we can try again. So for now I have one te implant and one deflated shriveled balloon. I find myself thinking about symmetry am constantly reminded by 15 year old's growing perckiness. Ugh! One day we'll get there but until then lets try to keep our spirits up. You guys are so strong and courageous and my heroes!



Heather, depression is strong but you are stronger I find myself dipping in and out of it daily. Meds and a weekly counseling session are what I'm doing to keep it at bay. Glad to see your post, keep up the good fight!



Love, hugs and prayers to all!

Melinda

shipsgirl

Does anyone else hate that song by Bruno Mars about being locked out of heaven?  It was playing constantly while I was in the first half of chemo.  Every time I hear it, I'm transported right back there - and I don't ever want to relive that.

Keep up the good fight ladies. 

MsPharoah

Heather, so good to get a word from you. You don't have to be nice to us! Lol. So very sorry that you are feeling low and I wish that we could just will away those bad days, bad feelings and scary tests. My husband asked me tonight what was the worst thing I have endured and without hesitation, I told him..." I lost my sense of well being". Damn, my hair is growing back, but will I ever have fun again? I want my mojo back! Wishing you good PET results. I hear wine helps while waiting for results.



Ships girl...I love Bruno Mars...favorite track is "Runaway"....makes me happy!



Oh, btw....I had my first femara bitch fest today....lost my patience with an employee. Yikes!



1st radiation treatment tomorrow.....Yikes!



Hugs to all who are finished, finishing, starting or struggling.



Sandra

BeHereNow

Hi Gang! A friend with BC shared this ite with me. Basically, it's good info about sex after surgery, and how to overcome various problems:



http://www.a-womans-touch.com/store.php?catID=3962



Take care, all!

Jen987

I met with a new MO today and I really like her.  She spent so much time with me.  Unlike my old MO who would see me for maybe 3-5 minutes and I'm not kidding.  She sent my prescription for Tamoxifen over to the pharmacy but I haven't picked it up yet.  I'll be starting it on Saturday.  Hoping for minimal SE's.  She told me I could get my port out so I'll be calling my surgeon tomorrow to schedule an appointment. 

I am 2 weeks post final radiation and my skin looks great.  Almost back to normal just alittle tan still.  Fatigue is still an issue though.   I usually am very active so this is very frustrating.  MO says this is normal.  It will take a while to get your body back to normal after having chemo and radiation. 

My hair is growing in nicely.  As well as my eyelashes and eyebrows.  My family thinks I look good enough to go "topless" but I'm not sure yet.  I did dye it last weekend.  I couldn't stand the grey.  I feel more comfortable going "topless" in the house even if guests are here. 

Take care everyone.  We are in the homestretch.

AmyQ

Jen987

So happy you are getting back to your old self! What a relief to feel more normal and to be done with treatments AND having your port removed is so freeing. Congratulations!,,

shipsgirl

Jen987 - glad you like your new MO.  Good for you for making a change when you weren't happy.

I am switching MO's too.  Mine couldn't even be bothered to show up to work on time, when I had the first appointment of the day.  And like you said, 3 minutes.  I kept telling myself that I don't have to like her to get good treatment.  The thing is, I didn't feel like I had an ally in her - which I feel is an essential ingredient to good treatment.I hope my new one is as great as yours.  I'll find out in 2 weeks. 

MsPharoah

Jen, you are an inspiration.  Congratulations on your progress.  Sadly, my eyebrows are continuing to come out with no indication of new growth.  (Poo!).  Eyelashes have stabilized...I think I have about 10 scattered on each eye.  Had 2 of 24 rad treatments today and all is well, so far.  I hunger to be where you are!

Sandra

6cats

Official whine session coming up... I received a call from my primary care physician asking if I would call to set up an appointment. I assumed the reason was that my primary care doc and I decided not to have regular check-ups until after I finished chemo, and my last chemo is this coming Thursday... so I called and found out that my primary care doc has left this practice... that she is now with an urgent care group so can't be my primary care physician. And that I have to see a new doc.

To make matters worse, in the clinic where I go, the two docs with the most experience, are docs I've had previous dealings with. One missed my late husband's brain tumors 20 years ago... and he died a year later in a lot of pain. The other was my primary care physician at the time, and I found a new doc cuz I couldn't walk into that office without getting angry. AAARG! (I know, International Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't until Sept. 10th!). But honestly, my other choices include a man with a foreign accent that I can't understand, and someone I've never heard of before...

I'm officially angry at my doctor for walking away from ME... although I know it is unreasonable, and unrealistic... AAARG!

anne11595

On the good side Lynn you only have one chemo left!!! I hate having to find a new doctor to. There is always something to throw us off. Im sorry this is happening to you.



Tomorrow is my next to last chemo. Saturday's are real bad for me. I'm sick as hell for some reason. Left foot getting pretty numb. My right hand the fingers tips are numb. I'm so sick of all this stuff now. Hair on head still growing,eye lashes are a joke,eye brows are gone. I want my mojo back to. I really fell that I can't take much more. I know just 2 to go but I fell they will be 2 from hell!



Hope everyone is doing good. Lots of hugs to everyone!

MsPharoah

Anne, so, so sorry you are ailing.   Just two more left.  I'm not sure if this helps, but my last two chemos were easier than #3 and 4 and more like #1.  Maybe you will be lucky and have minimal side effects.  You need a break for sure!  Do you have something special planned to celebrate chemo end???

I have a new PCP...my old one quit the practice and I really liked him.  I have an appt with new PCP this week as my blood pressure is getting high, probably the Femara that I started about 2 weeks ago.  Aargh, I feel like I am always trying to outrun the boogie man.

Take good care, rest when you can.

Sandra

daffyc

Hi ladies, just wanted to check in after surgery.  Bilateral mastectomy (no reconstruction) and 1 lobe of my thyroid removed last Friday.  It ended up being about a 6 hour surgery.  Was able to go home late the next afternoon.  To my surprise.  I thought it would be at least Sunday.  But I really was ok to come home.  Pain quite minimal and I haven't taken much more than tylenol since Monday.  A little sore at times, but completely doable.  1 drain removed today, 2 to go.  No pathology back yet on either the breasts or thyroid.  Man am I hoping and praying that the thryoid is benign.  Uggh!  

Emotions hit me hard yesterday.  I had been dealing pretty well and fairly confident in how I was doing prior to surgery.  The past few days of looking at my almost bald head (some growth), thinning eyebrows, almost no visible eyelashes, a lovely frankenstein scar across your neck, and then seeing the wrinkled mess that was my breasts was too much.  I cried a lot which was probably good to get it out.  I definitely still have a lot of processing to go through, but I feel better today.  Was feeling better this morning and did some odds and ends around the house this morning, put make up on when I went to the doctors office, stopped at Starbucks on the way home for a green tea all has helped.  The little things:)  

It sounds like a lot of us just want our mojo back!  Good to hear that it's coming a long for some of you.  

Katie, I will definitely be checking out that link about sex after surgery.  While my husband is a really understanding guy, right now I feel like we will never have sex again (I know that's not true, just how it feels right now).  

MsPharoah

Daffy, wishing you good results from your surgery and I hope you get you mojo back. My mojo is on vacation. My staff at work teased me today....suggesting that I wear a " don't mess with me" sign. (they actually used the f word instead of mess). I am so edgy. I think I am going to be voted off the island. Lol. At least they have good humor and are understanding. It makes me cry that people have to put up with me. Waaaaah!



Saw my new pcp today...oh wait...he isn't my new pcp. Probably the worst doctor in the world. I won't bore you with details. Suffice it to say, he had his personality removed before he was teleported from his home planet.



love and hugs. Sandra

anne11595

Daffy ,good to hear your surgery went well. Boy you did get out of the hospital fast! Keep you in my prayers for good test results. Please let us know when you find out.



Sandra you almost sound like me. I have not been the best person to hang out with lately. But I need to change it fast. My sister is coming from Maine to visit for the weekend. Just hope I can get some energy while she is here!



One more taxol left then the next week I start my herceptin every 3 weeks. Hope I start to get my felling back in my foot .



Hope everyone has a good weekend. Hugs to all.

MsPharoah

Anne, just one more treatment! Doesn't that sound good?



Last month, 2 of my sisters visited. Normally, I go all out...spa, strip, shows, fine dining, but I was only 3 weeks pfc and couldn't handle a lot. In fact, one day, our activity consisted of us going for my dexa scan, then nice lunch after. Lol. It was hard for my sisters to see me so frail and bald. So try to relax and take comfort from your sister. I am sure that being with you will be a comfort to her as well.



Hugs, Sandra

PamelaKay

Daffy, so glad to hear the surgery went well. I know two people who have had thyroid surgery. Both are a year or more out, and unless you know where to look, you can't see the scar. My fingers and toes are crossed for good results from the pathology report. My heart is with you as you strive to cope with the changes.

Second herceptin-only infusion went well; no side effects that I noticed. Due for my third Echo soon. It's starting to feel like a normal, routine thing. I'm hoping this one will be more comfortable, as the first two were done with the tech trying to get a picture without mashing my TE too much. This time that shouldn't be a problem.

Amazingly I still have a few long hairs left growing through the fuzz (I never shaved). They are the Hercules of hair, having hung in there through months of chemo. Looks ridiculous but I don't have the heart to cut them off. All the fuzz looks grey. Lashes and brows still loosing ground, but, of course, the chin hairs are sprouting. 

Ladies, we have come this far together and our mojo will rise again. Thinking about all my April chemo sisters and wishing you well.

Pamela Kay

6cats

Wow! It is amazing to see how far all the "April Sisters" have come!

I had my last chemo on Thursday! The nurses blew horns and gave me a "purple heart" certificate of completion.

I start Herceptin once every three weeks this Thursday.

At my last appointment, my MO sat me down and cautioned me to not expect too much too soon... to remember that I've had 20 weeks of chemo... and that I need to remember that for some people it may take the same amount of time to get "back to normal." That was real encouraging! NOT!

Taxol has been rough on me! I'm one of those that definitely prefer A/C over the T/H. Nervous about the Herceptin alone. Praying no SE from it! I've heard it can cause muscle pain... I've experienced severe pain with Taxol/Herceptin and just pray that none of that pain was from the herceptin.

anne11595

Im right behind you lynn,last taxol and herceptin yesterday. I also fell that it was harder the. Ac. My be because it was 12 weeks and every week! No horns or anything was done after chemo but everyone there knew it was my last one! I did a little last chemo dance and told everyone it was my last!!



Now i get to do the herceptin next week,plus muga test. Im planning a trip to Atlantic City for a few days in October. Between herceptin and radiation. We usually go in November for our anniversary. But will be busy with radiation. Now I'll wait to see if my feeling comes back in my foot and fingers!



I did not have to much muscle pain,but really felt like crap a lot! So now its the slow wait for things to get better. But I made it this far so I will make it the rest of the way.



Hope everyone is starting to get better every day. There is a end to all this some were and we will find it and be some of the strongest women out there!!!