April 2013 Chemo Group

anne11595

I found out something I did not know today. When I missed last week because of the cellulitis that I don't have to make up that week! I was upset because I thought I had add a week at the end to make up that week. So after the chemo I had today I have only 7 more weeks left. I cant believe they did not tell me this before. I think this is good news.

Jen987

Yay Anne11595. Good news for sure. That much closer to being done.

heather214

Ladies, thanks to all for your input. I am still numb, don't know what to do. I agree about the second opinion, I am waiting on the opinion from the tumor board, which meets today.

Katie, sorry about your seroma, having had the hematoma, I know how awful it can be!

Wishing the very best to all of the ladies here, I wish I could give you all one big hug as well!! I am still recuperating, hope to be on more when I am feeling stronger. More chemo as soon as I am healed ordered up, yuck!

                                                             (((HEATHER)))

Jen987

Oh Heather, hang in there. Wish I could give you a big hug (gently). I know this year has been rough. I've already asked for a redo. LOL

BeHereNow

(((((((((((Heather)))))))))))



I think the binder is keeping the seroma from getting big again. Yay. So far so good. Only down side is that I have to wear the binder over the area being radiated, too. Overall, though, it's better than chemo. For those facing rads, it's been easier than I expected!



Hugs to all, but especially for those who are miserable and overwhelmed. It just sucks. You are not alone.

HockeyMama22

I just wanted to say Hi! I have been following this discussion board for a while. I started my chemo April 4 and will hopefully be done the first week of September. Then on to 6 weeks of rads. My cancer was found on my first mammo(I didn't even know it was there). I think you are all super stars:) Thank you for giving me a place to come and see that there are people who can understand what I am going through. As great as my family and friends are, they don't know what it's like when your body turns on you. But, if the chemo is kicking my butt then I know it's doing the same to any cancer I may have. I will fight like a girl to be here for my family!

kobrien

Hi Ladies. It's been awhile since I have posted.  I had my last TC on Aug 2nd!! So glad that is over. It actually went pretty fast. I was so so scared in the beginning of all of this to do chemo, and it was here that helped give me the courgage to go through with it.  It has been " managable". #1 was the worst ! 2 & 3 easier. I was able to attend a big family wedding 1 week after #3 and stayed at my sisters house  for the whole weekend.  My whole family was there all weekend!! Ended up having the most amazing time!! Luckily for me, my thrush cleared up and taste buds returned the day of the weddding and I was able to eat and enjoy!!

I am day 5 post chemo #4 and guess impatient. Was hoping to be bouncing all over the place and doing all the things I've missed all summer. I have had thrush after every treatment even despite starting the Diflucan right away. I have had Neulasta after every chemo and so far it has helped keep me healthy.  I am very achy- muscle and bone, but the pain meds help.  I have a lot of muscle weakness- I think it is a combo of the chemo and months of inactivity. I am hoping to start the Livestrong program at the Y sometime this month. It is supposed to help you gain strenght back- and its free.

My next step is to start tamoxifen. Anyone start that yet? I haven't done much reseearch on it yet. Surgery for TE exchange and breast lift on R should be sometime in middle to end of sept...

I want to thank all of you ladies for your encouragement, support, words of wisdom, laughter and strenght. You are all inspirations!!

Kerri

6cats

Thank you kobrien for checking in... I realized the activity of this board has gone way down and I'm sure it is because everyone is finishing up, starting something new, waiting for something new, etc. So I'd like to recommend a check-in for all who started out on this board. Also if you've started on another therapy and have started frequenting another board, please point us in the right direction... sometimes it is hard to find the right board to be on...

So... Here is my update...

A/C with Day2 Neulasta is complete. Relatively speaking I breezed through the AC without too much trouble. I was able to continue my normal schedule. GI issues were probably my worst SE (cracked corners of mouth, sores in mouth, alternating diarrhea and constipation). And the benefit was that my fibromyalgia pain was almost non-existent during the entire eight weeks!

At the end of my A/C I had an echocardiogram. The ECHO showed a 9% change in my ejection fraction, some changes in mitral valve function, and some enlargement in my right ventrical. I have a second ECHO on September 20th to see if the changes still show up or if they are worse.

I am now receiving 12 weekly treatments of Taxol + Herceptin. I have just passed the half-way point and will have #7 on Thursday. This has been much harder on me. My energy levels have dropped to the point I am limiting my activity each day. Worse than that, my pain levels are through the roof, and don't ease up as the week progresses... just one long week of pain, then another treatment. Cracks in the corner of my mouth are really bad. Constant runny nose and sores in my nose. But my wierdest SE is flatulance! Who'd a thought?!?!

Peripheral Neuropathy: Numb fingertips and toes (on occasion it becomes entire hand and feet). Upper lip, tip of tongue, and upper gums are numb. Taking Neurontin / Gabapentin for it. Am slowly increasing my dosage as my SE's get worse. Thankfully, I rarely have tingling, only numbness where I can still feel pressure.

Hair Alert: Taxol has made it so I don't have to shave my pits or legs at all. The hair is falling out on my head again. My eyebrows and eyelashes are all but non-existent (no problem on A/C). "Down Below", I'm losing the last of the hair slowly. The biggest negative is that my chin hair and hair on my upper lip is growing back in... go figure.

Helpful board -- Weekly Taxol group: http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topic/788735?page=64#idx_1915

Hope to hear from others... I'll put together a list of all recommended boards as time goes on...

AmyQ

I started what was supposed to be 6 treatments of TC on April 9th but due to an excellent PET CT my onc suggested I could quit after #4.  I opted to complete #5 on 7/2 and did.  Started Femara full-time just last night.  I had a two week every-other-day regime apparently to get used to it, and now will take it for 5+ years or for as long as it's effective.

I have another PET CT on August 26th and my exchange surgery on September 16th - the day after I get back from a 10 day vacation to Amelia Island.  For once I'll look forward to vacation ending!

I'm feeling almost fully recovered, still have mild LE in my right arm and completed PT which helped.  I wish my doc would order lifetime PT 

Now just waiting for my hair to stop shedding.  I used Cold Caps fairly successfully - lost about 1/3 of my hair and still in a heavy shedding period.  My hair is in tough shape, needing to be cut, colored and moisturized but I am afraid do anything to it for now.

So all-in-all it sort of feels like a dream - I hardly believe I went through all this within the last 6 months.  In fact today is the 6 mo anniversary of my BC dx. Wow...longest and shortest 6 months of my life! I hope everyone else is doing great!

MsPharoah

Hello wonderful ladies from the April, 2013 Chemo group!

  Just making a final chemo summary report.  I did 6 rounds of TC, finished 7/23 and still feeling fatigued, wobbly and not yet quite right.  Kerri, I know what you mean about wanting to rebound quickly.  I think we are going to have to be patient.  Through the chemo, my SE's were fatique, lack of taste buds, flue like aches, diarrhea, hair loss.  I also have a lot of vein burns on my arm from the injection site.  The one from my 5th treatment is about 8 inches long and still purple.  Don't think this arm will ever be the same.  But, like you all, I either made it or am making it.  I am just as amazed as Amy about what has happened to me the last 7 months!  I think that I have PSTD, for real.  I feel terrorized by this auful disease.

   Next week, I find out which anti-hormonal has been picked for me and I will have a bone density test to make sure that I can endure possible bone loss.  I haven't campled out on any forum about anti-hormonals yet, but I will probably be a lurker somewhere when I know more.  I will also be starting rads in a few weeks, so I have been lurking on the Summer 2013 rads forum to get some pointers.

   These discussion boards have been so very helpful to me.  Someday, I want to be in a position to help others as I have been helped.

Sandra

  

PamelaKay

Hi Everyone,



Hope those of you who are PFC are feeling great and are starting to get back to something that resembles normal. Amy, congratulations on the good scan results!



Like Lynn, I've found TH to be worse than the AC in some ways. Fortunately I am doing the dose dense TH, which is Taxol every 2 weeks, so I get a week of feeling good in between the Taxol treatments. A week ago was my third round of TH, and I found the SEs lasted a bit longer. Fortunately, the herceptin only infusions don't seem to cause any obvious SEs.



I too have lost most of my lashes and brows, plus a lot of what's left of my head hair and other body hair. The misery quotient is starting to get to me, and I'm really looking forward to the 4th and last Taxol next Tuesday (hoping it's not delayed due to low hemoglobin). Next week I also have my appointment with the thyroid surgeon.



I'm thinking of asking my MO to skip the last Neulasta shot, since she seems to think that the combo of Taxol and Neulasta is what causes the SEs to be so bad. Anyone tried that?

anne11595

Good to hear from everyone again! Its just crazy how different our treatments are. Plus how the side effects are for everyone.



I had my six treatment today. Taxol and herceptin. I do not get the shot the next day. I get the treatment every week. I have had no real bad side effects from it. Just the usual high the first day . Lots of energy the second day with the the all red face. Friday i just start to slow down. The rest of the week is ok but lot of high and low energy. I find I want to eat a lot but I think it because I just can stand not doing a lot! So I eat. My hair is starting to grow back on my head!!! It's like peach fuss,but thats more then I had before. Just hope it stays . Not much eyebrows,eye lashes were gone but are coming back. So all in all treatment has not been that bad or I'm just getting used to it. But six more taxol, then radiation will start. Bring it on and will take. Oh and herceptin every three week u til next July. I fell so lucky that side effects are not that bad so far.



Hocky mama I hope you stay with us and please write to us. We really have the best ears out there and we care about everyone. You are not a lone in this shitty fight we have everyday of our lives. There are good and bad day and weeks. But we are all in the same boat.



Its good to hear everyone is moving in the right direction. Hope everyone is doing good. Time for me to shut up. I have a buzz on from my chemo . Cheap, legal,with no hand over!! Lol

Jen987

Great to hear updates from everyone.  So I've had 25 of 35 rads and this past week my skin is really "angry".  Very red and somewhat painful.  Nothing I can't handle though.  I did feel fatigued last week but my energy seems to be getting better.  My hair is growing in quickly but I've lost almost all my eyelashes.  My husband thinks I should go outside without a hat now.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Although I was excited the other day when I had to use shampoo.  Silly I know. I am considering finding a new MO so I'm not sure when I'll be starting Tamoxifen.  Not looking forward to those SE's.  I wish everyone well and enjoy the rest of your summer best you can.

indenial

Kerri -- hopefully by now you are starting to feel a bit better! I think it took me around 10 days after my final chemo to start to have some energy & be able to start doing more. Be patient.... easier said than done! 

 

Lynn -- thanks for starting a check-in, I've been wondering how everyone's doing! You are nearly there... just another month & a half, right? HUGS!!! You will be so happy to be DONE!!

Amy -- congratulations on a good scan!!

 

Good to read everyone's updates. Wishing you all well. 

 

I just got back from a trip. Felt kind of discouraged because I was sick most of the trip... even though I've been feeling "good" I guess my immune system is still run-down and I'm still much more susceptible to catching bugs. Still feel a little sad that my long-awaited vacation was indirectly "ruined" by cancer.

 

Anyway... I am 2 months PFC! Aside from being sick last week, I've felt pretty good, recovered from chemo for the most part. 

 

Hair: Length hasn't changed much but it has filled in a lot, so I have a decent centimeter-long covering except near my temples which are bald still. There is a bit more color now but it is still much more gray/faded than it was pre-chemo (I am 30 and only had one or two stray white hairs before!) I stopped wearing scarves about 2 weeks ago, except when I'm out in the sun. I've been wearing headbands a lot -- more to look female than to look "good" lol!! 

 

Other body hair is coming in, shaved 3 times already (though it's definitely growing slower/sparser than usual). Eyebrows/lashes continued to fall out until about 7 weeks PFC and now they are growing in but look very short and scraggly and you have to look closely to see them at all!

 

Nails: I had pain under my nails after the 3rd & 4th treatments but they looked fine for a while... a couple of weeks ago they started lifting from the nail beds... the bottom half is attached and the top half isn't and it looks icky (I need to paint them!) I also have to keep them cut short because they are really painful if they bump or catch on anything.

 

Neuropathy: Got a bit worse around 1 month PFC but has pretty much completely subsided since then. I had it in my fingers & my neck & left cheek. My neck still gets strange sensations (almost itchy???) often but I'm not quite sure if that's lingering neuropathy or a new skin sensitivity. 

 

Energy: I was sick for years before chemo & on disability when I was diagnosed but now I feel better than ever. I am able to do things I haven't been able to do since college -- cooking, cleaning, etc!! So I'm indescribably happy about that. I do find I get tired earlier in the evening than I used to, and sometimes I need to take breaks to sit & rest, but I'm very functional & active now! 

 

Tamoxifen: I've been on it for a little over a month now. My period has not yet returned & I am still getting many hot flashes all day long, though maybe slightly less intense than the chemo/steroid hot flashes! Sometimes I get nauseous and/or irritable during the hot flashes. I also find I'm generally more irritable/hormonal. Beyond that, Tamoxifen has gone easy on me so far. 

heather214

Hello ladies,

Can't seem to move past chemo OR this board, you all have been through thick and thin, with and without me!

PamelaKay: I got to stop Neulasta when I started Taxol, and I felt SO much better. I hated Neulasta from day 1!

Katie: Hope you are doing better, your tops are sure coming in handy - THANK YOU!

WELCOME new and old, that is the point to paying it forward!

Much has been going on with me, finally got my three drains out and 1/2 my staples this week. Having been hospitaized for a week, I feel like I am just starting to really heal and become functional. Have been able to look at myself without crying (yet) or passing out, LOL. Healing well, still in a quandary about what to do about my lymph nodes. Went to see a cancer surgeon at City of Hope (informally, one of my mom's docs), his "deteminate" point to go back in to remove nodes would be if the cancerous node was 2MM or larger. When I saw my surgeon this week and mentioned it, he confirmed mine WAS larger than that but with mucinoid (slower-growing) malignant cells. I restarted Herceptin, they want me to start RADS ASAP, and he agreed that if I am still feeling the same after my last 2 rounds of chemo/RADS then he will go back in and remove more nodes. I am OK with that, but still plan to get yet another opinion. I trust my surgeon, but as a GF pointed out, it sounds like they want to throw everything they can at the cancer and "hope it sticks". Dem' odds - I dont know if I can live with. I understand his fears of lymphedema (he points out I am also young and still working, serious lymphedema could end my career) but alive w/ lymphedema OR... The other. Hmm. Anyways, I have had my moments, but I think I am emotionally adjusting fairly well. Had some funky anxiety with leaving the house alone, but it is getting better.

Does anyone wonder if when all the treatment is said and done, whether they will be able to not worry all the time about recurrence? I just want to LIVE, you know really just move on. Today, I had a glass of champagne at lunch, to celebrate just LIFE, all I have made it through! I do not want to be a prisoner to my cancer, and that is my sincerest hope for us all. Happy weekend all!

AmyQ

heather214,

With another PET CT coming up at the end of August, that's pretty much all I think of...the what if's...so I have to trust my body is still fighting against the cancer cells and my Femara is starving them but until I get an all-clear scan, I'm still going to worry.   I hope eventually I can stop thinking about a recurrence but until that happens, ignorance is bliss.

daffyc

Waving "hi" to everyone!  I'm about 3.5 weeks PFC.  Feeling pretty good.  Energy returning so I'm getting closer to being in my normal routine, but crashing on the couch by 8-9 PM.  The other night slept there until 3 AM and had no idea the rest of my family went up to bed LOL!

Chemo brain is effecting me.  Any one else?

I'm up about 5 pounds:(  It gradually came on the last 1/2 of chemo during my taxol(3)/taxotere(1) treatments, esp the last Taxotere treatment when they gave me extra steroids.  I was hoping to not gain any during chemo as I'm overweight to begin with.

I know there are surgery boards/threads, but wondering if anyone could share their best tips for bilateral mastectomy recovery.  I've read a lot of the info, but am still a little confused, esp on the what to wear as far as bras or tanks until I can get fitted for prosthesis (no reconstruction upfront).  I will be going from DD's to flat and that will be a whole new world.  I keep hearing about Genie bras/Ahh bras, but have no idea the timeline to wear something like that.  After the drains come out, but prior to forms is what I'm guessing??  Also, I think they are sending me home in some kind of post surgery camisole (will get clarification next week), but what did you wear over that? It will still be really warm here when I have surgery so I'm wondering if I can wear some kind of stretchy tank (pulled up from the bottom) while I'm at home.  I know button front tops, too.  I only have a couple so I need to do some shopping to see if I can find some, hopefully on the clearance rack!

Hope everyone is able to enjoy a little bit of the end of summer!

daffyc

Heather, I have a funky situation in that they don't know if I had a liver met or not.  Without going into all the details, I'm going to be scanned more than normal.  Have another PET this week.  I'm trying to just live life as best I can and enjoy what I can and not worry too much, but of course, the anxiety does creep in.  I think that's normal.  My MO talked to me about needing to find a way to deal with the unknown of all this, be it friends, family, support group, counseling, etc...  I think I'm doing ok, but I'm aware and open to knowing I may need to get some better coping tools and outlets for this.  

I know a couple women who had breast cancer and are a few years beyond it.  They have told me that of course they haven't forgotten it, but it doesn't rule their lives on a daily or even monthly basis.  Another friend told me to concentrate on getting through treatment and then focus on LIVING.  I think that was great advice!

indenial

Daffy I wore a belly band from the hospital around my chest after surgery. They are the ones they put on pregnant women's bellies to hold fetal monitors in place. You could also probably just wrap with an ace bandage type of thing. I really needed something snug-fitting to feel comfortable and to avoid having my shirt rub against my incisions and the severed nerves. I wore that band every day for about a month, and then on & off for another month or two (whenever I had swelling or pain).

I have not worn a bra since my surgery though. I just wear regular shirts with nothing under them. I find ribbed tanks are especially comfortable, and I do not like camis with built-in shelf bras. I am also more sensitive to certain fabrics/textures now. 

heather214

<< I know there are surgery boards/threads, but wondering if anyone could share their best tips for bilateral mastectomy recovery.  I've read a lot of the info, but am still a little confused, esp on the what to wear as far as bras or tanks until I can get fitted for prosthesis (no reconstruction upfront).  I will be going from DD's to flat and that will be a whole new world.  I keep hearing about Genie bras/Ahh bras, but have no idea the timeline to wear something like that.  After the drains come out, but prior to forms is what I'm guessing??  Also, I think they are sending me home in some kind of post surgery camisole (will get clarification next week), but what did you wear over that? It will still be really warm here when I have surgery so I'm wondering if I can wear some kind of stretchy tank (pulled up from the bottom) while I'm at home.  I know button front tops, too.  I only have a couple so I need to do some shopping to see if I can find some, hopefully on the clearance rack! >>

Daffy, having just had mine: the hospital provided what looks like a tube top, but is actually a binder. I wore that for 2 weeks, with whatever buttoned up over it. After that, someone on here was kind enough to provide me several post-mastectomy tanks in which I can put my soft prosthesis, and those have been a godsend, I love them. Once I was able to go out with my "falsies" I felt better again. I also was on the larger side, and it is a shock. Returning to work, I am buying any front button-up tops that are loose, under which I plan to wear the tanks. I bought numerous jog bras that I thought I would be wearing, but I find they are not comfortable for me with my staples still in (too tight). While the drains are still in, nothing will fit quite right (my camis had pockets for the drains but did not work well for me, especially with three drains). A trick I used to sponge bathe is to get a lanyard you wear around your neck and clip up your drain tubes while in the tub. Best of luck sweetie!

PamelaKay

Heather, sounds like you are really on the cusp of the decision about the lymph nodes, where it could go either way and be the right decision. It's good that you are getting other opinions. For me, lymphedema was/is a big fear factor. I try to take some comfort that it doesn't happen in every case and in learning about treatment (early is better). Ultimately, you have to make a decision that you are comfortable with; none of those surgeons will have to live in your body afterwards.

I wonder if the decision can be postponed for a few weeks or months until you have had a chance to heal and process? It doesn't sound like this need to be done in a huge hurry. Right now, you are in a very emotional state, and a decision like this is hard enough when you are feeling strong. Consider asking your surgeon about putting off the surgery decision for a while. 

I have heard from other cancer survivors that they do stop thinking about it so often. One friend said that eventually she realized she hadn't thought about it all day, then all week, then she couldn't remember the last time she thought about it. I found that for me, once I was through the acute phase (decisions, surgery, treatment) I was not so constantly focused on it. I have to say, though, that the ads I keep hearing for Cancer Centers of America give me a jolt every time they come on. 

DaffyC, right after my surgery I wore a long scarf draped around my neck and a loose shirt. The scarf was long enough to drape down both sides and disguise my drain and the unevenness. I also used a leather shawl that worked for this too. Unfortunately that was when the weather was cooler and I didn't mind the scarf around my neck. Another thing I did was wear a tank top with a very thin, loose button-down shirt over the top. I kept the shirt half buttoned up, and it was large enough that there were lots of folds to hide things. I really scrounged through my closet to find things that would work; didn't buy anything new except the scarves and a couple of stretchy tank tops.

PamelaKay

Here's your laugh for the day: 

Hair down below

By PamelaKay

(With apologies to Bob Seger for borrowing the tune of “Fire down below”)

Here comes that old doctor, he’s looking mighty grim

He says that I have cancer, I throw my chair at him.

The doc says I’ll have surgery, the whole thing has to go.

The next thing that they tell me: I gotta have chemo:

Only one thing that’s common,

All my hair is going to go.

.

Here comes the nurse with her big old IV bag

She sticks in the needle and my spirits start to sag.

There goes the nulasta shot, bringing on the pain,

Next week I take a shower, all my hair goes down the drain.

Through weeks and weeks of chemo, there’s one thing I didn’t know

Even though it’s common,

I’d lose my hair from down below.

.

Hair falls out from your eyebrows, comes out of your nose,

Up on top you have a hat on

You even lose it from your toes

And it’s missing from your legs and now your lashes are out of sight

Missing so much hair, well you know that just ain’t right

.

And there’s one thing I can tell you

I’d thought I never say

There’s one place the hair is gone too

And I miss it every day.

When I sit on the bathroom seat

Well, the pee goes everywhere, and the result, it just ain’t neat.

I try to get it dry now, but just run into defeat,

Wipe’n high and wipe’n low.

Only wonder if that’s common,

I miss the hair from down below.

Koru_

I haven't been very active on this board since June, but wanted to check in again since I had my last (#6) round of TCH on 8/1.  

I transitioned to a 3-week dose of Herceptin on 8/9 and will start some sort of hormone blocker on 8/29 depending on what the MO prescribes.

My worst complaint is fatigue.  My hemoglobin was at 8.4 on Friday and the nurse said it will probably dip a little lower than that before starting to return to normal.  I'm encouraged by those of you that are a few weeks PFC that are feeling much better.  I'm trying to be patient, yet I must admit it isn't working very well.

EVERYTHING seems to take massive amounts of energy to do and my arms and hips feel like they've been filled with lead and are just too heavy to move.

I'm also dealing with lots of tearing, taxotere nails and skin rash/irritation on my lower arms and one leg.  I have some minor neuropathy in most of my fingertips.  My skin is so dry I feel like I need to get dipped in a vat of some high end moisturizing cream and then have a team of about four or five guys rub it in until my skin returns to its pre-cancer lustre.

I have been blessed with three really great teams - my surgeon and his team, my radiologist and his team and now my MO and his team.  

I want to say a big thank you to everyone that has actively posted.  The sharing of information has been great, but more importantly it  has been a big help to me personally to have this virtual support network.  Everyone being so open and honest about their SE's and what they are going through personally has helped me tremendously.

The past week or so has been extremely difficult for me - hitting a wall emotionally where I have just been completely "over" all of it and indulging in a bit of a pity party for a few days.  I believe I'm on the other side of the worst of my despondency and I hope and pray that I'm on the other side of the worst of things physically and that now I can start to get some stamina and strength back.  This time last year I was in training for roller derby; now I need to use the handicap cart at the grocery store.  I have a lot of ground to regain and hope my hemoglobin starts to increase so that I feel like I can push myself and get more done.

Thank you all for listening.  Sending each of you a warm hug any my best prayers of encouragement for wherever you are in your process; may the light of your heart and the love of your God/Goddess/Creator see you through this!

Namaste`

~Koru

Koru_

::: STANDING OVATION ::: for Pamela Kay!!!

That was hilarious - so well done!  

You're so creative.......

indenial

PAMELA KAY!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sitting here all down & despondent and your song made my day!!!

shipsgirl

I"d love to publish a "Best of Pamela Kay" book and make it mandetory reading for all breast cancer patients.  Laughter is the best medicine after all.

OnaWing

I love it, PamelaKay. You are so singing my song. Never thought breast cancer would make me long for a bidet.

Annie54

Koru,

I have one more TCH treatment and an pretty much the same place you are. Just so sick and tired of the effects, the waiting to feel better, to feel normal again. In the 2 years before my dx I had embarked on a fitness program of running, strength training, pilates etc. I did some physical activity every day, lost 50 ilbs and got in great shape. Felt on top of the world.....and then BC.

I do think being in good shape helped me in the long run with chemo and SE's as I've had minimal ones and have been able to work every day. But now here at the end, I've gained 30 lbs back and the fatigue is so strong that all I can do is sit and wait until I'm done with chemo before getting active again. I can't even walk now due to shortness of breath. Oh to lace up my running shoes and hit the trails! That's what I focus on being able to do and feel confident that I'll bouce back quickly. But it can be very depressing having to wait while feeling like a blob with muscle aches who cant walk across a room without breathing hard!

Heres to finishing the race and getting back to our pre-treatment selfs....or at least to a "new normal" for us. I've been told the months in treatment will seem like a dream at some point and hard to remember specifics.......I hope so! Hang in there....we've made it this far with not much farther to go. We'll be OK

Annie

6cats

PamelaKay... I am so happy you are on this board! You voice things I'm too embarrassed to say... I too hate the loss of "hair down below" for the same reason... the other reason I hate it is that aside from the "normal dryness" that I experience, I get uncomfortable dryness because the hair is gone...

Now the solution... from my straight-laced MO, who told me her favorite lubricant, I found that a very small amount applied down there keeps me from having the dry feeling. It is called Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser -- can buy it at Walgreens... originally developed to remove clown makeup (honest!). Works as a good lubricant on the rare times I feel amorous. But I put it on the inner labia lips (just a small amount), and it really helps me not feel so dry down there.

Fingers are numb... so I can't type good. But thanks PamelaKay for bringing it up!!

6cats

Annie54 -- make sure you talk to your MO about shortness of breath -- the Herceptin you are on can cause cardiac effects and it may be time to insist you have an ECHO done to make sure everything is OK... Keep us posted.