April 2013 Chemo Group

6cats

CarolA5587 -- I too have had a much harder time emotionally since my second chemo. I can't tell you how many times in the past week I've thought about running to my regular doc for antidepressants.

Virginger -- what a beautiful prayer, it speaks to my soul.

Rosina0015

Hello,



Wondering if anyone has had shortness of breath? I seem to be winded the past couple of days. My allergies are acting up too but this never happened before. I do not like this feeling at all.

Jen987

Rosina - Yes I feel winded too.  I normally can workout for 2 hours at the gym and now just doing yard work yesterday had me exhausted.  This round of chemo (3rd) has me more tired in general too.  I just keep telling myself only 1 more to go.  Altough I've heard that radiation can do a number on you too as far as fatigue goes.  Oh the joys of having cancer, NOT!

flimsical

Hello everyone --

I am on Taxotere #2 (every 21 days). I've developed a low-grade fever the Sunday after both Thursday treatments. Last time it hovered around 99.5 all of Monday, and was back to normal by Tuesday. It seems to be doing the same this time. I know it was higher than that overnight -- at one point I checked and it was 100.3 but I refused to check again because I really didn't want to go to the ER (I'm stubborn). When I talked to the NP about it before my last treatment, she said it shouldn't have anything to do with low counts since I get Neulasta and my counts have been normal. It's also worth mentioning that I did not develop a fever at all during my AC treatments with Neulasta. Has anyone else experienced this? Help!

MichelleRN78

@flimsical  I ran a low grade temp for about a week after chemo.  It was always in the evening.  During the day it would be normal.  I asked about it and my MO was not sure but said it could possibly be related to menopause.  Well a week later I started my period, so I'm not sure.  I am getting Neulasta and my WBC count was 33,000 so no infection for me.

indenial

Flimsical, I haven't had any fevers, but my doc & nurses were ADAMANT that I call if I had ANY sign of fever. Maybe just give a call in to make sure they don't want to see you?

Rosina, someone on another thread said that low red blood counts can lead to feeling winded/short of breath. 

heather214

Hoping all had a good weekend!

Amyjax, yes, I had my last AC (I pray) on Friday. It was not great, but I tried those Psi-bands for nausea, and I have to say, I think they definitely work. For me, it is the Neulasta that is so horrendous. I hardly slept Saturday night after giving it, and have been in such pain! I asked the Dr. if I could skip it, but he said no. HATE that stuff. Next stop - surgery.

Saturday, about 40 of my friends/co-workers and family walked over a 24 hour period in the Cancer Relay for Life for me. It was so awesome, I feel so lucky. They raised about $1000 and I was able to make it there for a few hours despite my chemo.

WELCOME all newbies, and PamelaKay is keeping us cracking up as usual (Thank God!). Here is wishing all the chemo-yuckies go away and everyone is left feeling good.

Thought for the day:

hushkat

Hi all,

I took a break from posting for awhile but have kept up with all the board posts.  Trust me when I tell you I laugh and cry every day with all of you.

So here’s where I am now - Had my third dose of Taxotere last week.  I’ll have just one more of those before I move into the dreaded A/C phase.  So far I haven’t had any really bad SE’s from the Taxotere, but the doc has promised me that will change when I switch regimens in June.  Lovely.

 Anyway I wanted to comment quickly to OnAWing about the stye issue.  (I just took a pain pill because me and Neulasta just don’t get along, I’ll try not to ramble).  I started Taxotere April 3.  Treatment every three weeks.  I have had four eye styes in that time and I am completely convinced that it is a Taxotere side effect.  Up until I started chemo, I lived 48 years and had only one stye as a child.  Now as soon as I get rid of one, I get another one.  I am a contact lens wearer and have the kind of lenses that you sleep in and replace every month.  I was using contact lens rewetting drops instead of the tear stuff because the tear stuff isn’t safe to apply with your lenses in.  Clearly, that was not working so now I’m only wearing my contact lenses when I leave the house, and using the “make your own tears” eye drops several times a day.   I’ll let you know if this makes a difference. 

 As far as relieving the pain and suffering of them, warm washcloths and time seems to be the only thing that I’ve found.

 Hope all of you have a pleasant evening.  xoxo

MsPharoah

Hello friends. I wanted to say thank you to all my April chemo friends for the posts. I laugh and sigh at your posts.



Pamela Kay... You even made my dh laugh...that's not easy. He's very droll.



Tomorrow I will have my 3 rd TC of 6. It's not fun but I try to think of all the cancer I will kill tomorrow. That makes me smile a lot! I hate cancer and what it has done to me and so many others.



Onward, I soldier on...a cancer killer extraordinairre.

BeHereNow

Hi friends, I've been a lot more fatigued after #3 chemo. But I have only one more to go.



I appreciate hearing about everyone's experiences. It helps me feel more prepared.



I also was told that my getting winded was from low red count. My most prominent symptoms are constipation, bad taste in my mouth, sore fingers and toes, major sinus pain and constant mild headache, a vein that is irritated from the taxotere, and intermittent nausea.



BUT, the symptom I expected that hasn't happened is depression.



6cats, and others who may be depressed, I want to share that the first appointment I made after my cancer diagnosis was with a psychiatrist who specializes in working with cancer patients. She upped my dose of antidepressant (made a huge difference) and is helping me plan for menopause, because, for example, Tamoxifen limits the medication options, and some antidepressants help hot flashes, etc.



I think our mental health is as important as our physical health (yes, I'm a social worker, lol). I know I've had it easier than some people because I m getting the psychiatric help.



I should add that it was my surgeon who suggested the psychiatrist. Smart surgeon.

6cats

Last night I went to the ACS "Look Good, Feel Good" Program. I highly recommend it for those who haven't gone. I walked out looking amazing! It was such a boost to be there with other women with no hair, who looked beautiful. I even managed to put on eye makeup, even though I can't see very well without my glasses at all! (The eyebrows did look a little like Brook Shields though!). And for those who are considering a wig, the ACS offers one free wig to anyone... don't need to prove your financial status, etc. Although I think they are a bit hot, and usually wear a hat or scarf, I am so thankful to have one.

My 16yo nephew, who lives with us, told my DH last night that he thought I shaved my head to get attention. I don't know if he resents the attention drawn away from himself, or just doesn't like to think of me as having a life-threatening illness.

Depression... better this week (I know its only Tuesday), than last.

AC #3 on Thursday... now if the constipation will go away, I may have a few good days!

MsPharoah

Hi 6cats,



I am so sorry that you are suffering from depression. Just doesn't seem fair with all the se that you have to manage. Everyone has to find their own way out of this rabbit hole, but the good news is that there are a lot of ways to do that. As a wife and mother, I have always put everyone else first, so when this crap happened to us, I had to figure out how to put myself first. That's so hard, but when I am lounging in the bathtub, going to bed early, exercising an extra 30 minutes...I say "me first" "me first". I don't feel selfish, I feel like I am taking care of me and thus my family and friends. It doesn't hurt that my husband tells me every day how beautiful and sexy I am..or that my daughter says that I am always having a good hair day. My son is the one that listens to me when I am in a dark place. I guess he is my counselor, poor guy. But he doesn't get scared....somehow this wonderful man helps me become the strong, cancer fighter that I have become. When I go to mo and she asks me how I am, I always say....Great, killing cancer makes me feel awesome. All the side effects are just a temporary annoyance.



I guess I am in the anger phase of grief, but it's working for me right now and if it stops working and I slip into sadness again, I will definitely ask for help.



I hope that you have many days without side effects.



Hugs.

sandra

heather214

6 cats:

(((HUGS))) and hang in there, you are not alone! I too have been dipping very low in the mood department, and I know it is related to the chemo as well as (of course) just knowing I have/dealing with cancer. I also am on an antidepressant and medication for sleep and anxiety; it has made a huge difference. There is no shame, if you need it, please ask your Dr.

Beherenow, after the 3rd is when I got really wiped too, they said that is normal around cycle 3/4. I am so (hopefully!) thankful I get a break for surgery, and am done with the AC portion because that was brutal, along with the dose dense, every 2 weeks has been awful. Nice to get it done sooner, but no time to recover. Hoping you bounce back quickly! I also got my anti-nausea acupressure bands and used them this last round: I am definitely a believer and had significantly less nausea this time.

FORGOT to mention: BRCA came back NEGATIVE!!! I am sooo happy and relieved for my daughter's, one small victory for womankind!

Hushkat, can I ask a question? Since I am on to Taxotere next: (other than the styes), what side effects did you have with the Taxotere? I am just praying they are not as severe as the AC. Not meaning to scare you, maybe I am just ultra-sensitive, seems others on here have tolerated it considerably better than I!

Wishing all, old, older, and new a great day!

Thought for the day:

Virginger

LOVE that...NEEDS to be LARGE.....<3

1/2 way point FRIDAY........after that 3 more to GO....

heather214

Virginger, hope you are keeping that spunky attitude and are hanging in there, you are an inspiration!

Virginger

Thank YOU Heather...got even MORE hats~ Duck Dynasty crew~~ I'll post pictures later

Fight on Sister Warriors!!

hushkat

Heather – You know the canned answer, everyone reacts differently to chemo so I can only share my experience with you.  But it’s important to remember that I started with Taxotere so my body was strong, fresh, and healthy when I began. 

My side effects (other than the styes), dry, scabby nose and nose bleeds (world class… like hemorrhaging), bad taste in mouth and destroyed taste buds but no mouth sores, and of course mild fatigue.  I did not experience any fever or nausea with the first two treatments.  Today was the first day I have felt a little queasy, six days past Taxotere number 3.    

My doctor did tell me that he was going to give me the gentle drug first, then hit me with the hard stuff so I wouldn’t start hating him until after treatment number 5.   I’ve been able to continue working with only a day off here and there.  Also, for me, Taxotere was every three weeks instead of every two so there was a longer time to recover.  I guess there’s logic that applies to both sides of giving the easy drug or the hard drugs first.  Personality of patient?  Doctor preference?  Who knows. 

Hope this info is helpful to you, will be interesting to compare notes once we each transition to the new drugs.  I hope it’s as easy for you as it was for me. 

BeHereNow

Heather, what sleep med do you take? I might ask my doc for something. I cant remember what exactly your surgery is... I really do hope it goes well and feels like a good break! You have been such a trooper, being on the 2-week schedule. I had BMX and did well. I was emotional, though. I cried a good bit, but it was cleansing. One thing I did was to make some special music mixes to listen to for comfort. I picked my favorite songs and they were great to cry with, lol. So happy you're BRCA negative!! Woot woot!



Virginger, I hope you're hanging in there. It seems like the hats have been fun. It's nice to know people care. Hang in there.



6cats, your LGFB class sounds like it was better than mine! Our presenter kept focusing on one woman and the rest of us just chatted. Despite that, I learned how to make eyebrows ). But, I am hoping I don't have to use that skill. The eyebrows are still hanging on.



Sandra, I have that kind of son, too. He is a gentle giant and an old soul. I am so grateful for him!



Hushcat, I'm hoping your next rounds of chemo go easily for you. Hang in there!



Wishing you all well.



XO

heather214

Beherenow, my bilateral MTX will be sometime next month. I take Ambien, and without it, I can honestly say I would be a zombie. This is not a medication for everyone, but for me it works well with no hangover effect. There are others you could try: Restoril, Lunesta, and sometimes Trazadone. I also used to take Melatonin as well, but was told to stop that when I started chemo. May resume when I am done. Good luck to you, hoping you feel better!

Jen987

So far this week sucks. Had my blood work done yesterday and my counts were so low that I have to inject myself daily with Neupogen until Sunday. At least doing it every other day I had a good day in between without pain. And was put on an antibiotic as a precautionary measure. Saw my MO too who had me schedule an appointment with a RO. Geez I just want to get through chemo before worrying about radiation. Today I had to take my son (21 yrs old) to have surgery on his elbow which was broken by someone beating him with a crowbar. His house was broken into last Monday and him and his roommate were held by gunpoint. What a nightmare. While he was in surgery I had to have a pilar cyst removed from my head and a suspicious mole biopsied. Then back to the hospital to pick him up. So now my head hurts on top of my body feeling like crap from the injections. I'm starting to get crabby which isn't like me. Oh well this too soon shall pass. Sorry for venting.

CarolA5587

Oh, wow, Jen. What a week you're having! Hope things start settling down. This is a good place to vent. Think we all need to do that sometime!

indenial

Jen, my eyes are bugging out of my head right now!! What a rough week, I am so sorry! And no wonder you feel crabby, anybody would with all that going on. I hope you feel better and life goes a bit easier on you, hugs!!!

Heather, congrats on the negative BRCA!!!

I lost track of who else I wanted to reply to, I'm sorry. Really tired right now. The first time I took steroids they hyped me up but every time after they seem to make me drowsy!! WEIRD. 

I am heading into round 3 (of 4) tomorrow. On the one hand I'm glad I'm almost done but... I'm just really dreading doing this all again. Finally thought I had a handle on my anxiety but yesterday and today it has escalated again. And you'd think by the 3rd round it would be getting easier but it's not, it feels harder. I will just keep chanting Almost done, almost done, almost done...

BeHereNow

Thanks, Heather. I'll talk to my doc. Sleep well tonight )

MsPharoah

Jen, you deserve to be crabby! Hope things settle down for you in the coming days. Personally, I am looking forward to radiation...(I guess). You can tell I have been visiting dr. Google. Haha he has great office hours! But getting to that place gets me closer to hormonals which I understand is my home run...again, I think. And it is when my hair might start growing. But on the hair thing, I couldn't believe that my head hair started falling out on day 14 and on day 40, I had to shave my pits and legs. What's up with that? It better be the last time for while, or I'm lodging a formal complaint!



Had my 3rd of 6 TC treatments today. I am trying to be optimistic that this one will be as easy as 1 and 2, but I hear that most start having more problems with the 3rd and later treatments. Not sure if anyone has any info about that. I like to know what to expect, but maybe I should just maintain a positive attitude. Do any of you know if I should mentally prepare for something rougher....I haven't missed any work except treatment days and I would like that to continue. Not because I want to be a hero...it's because when I am working, I don't have cancer. Crazy, I know.

CarolA5587

MsPharaoh, if you've managed not to miss any work, you're ahead of me! Days 3 and 4 after chemo have rockedme the first two times. The first time I was just so tired I couldn't move -had to sleep. The second time I felt like I had the flu for a couple of days as well as being a wreck emotionally. Maybe none of those SE's will get you. You can't worry about them. Just got to be prepared for whatever the chemo train brings you.

I haven't lost hair any where besides the top of my head either. Weird, isn't it? If anything, I think the peach fuzz on the side of my face is fuzzier. And I had to shave my legs this morning too.

Indenial, hope you have a good 3rd round! I'm not far behind you -and it's not any easier to go do this for me either. I just keep telling myself I'm halfway there. But since it feels like this part of the journey has taken for ever that doesn't give me much comfort.

Ladies, hope your SE's all fade away in the night!

MsPharoah

CarolA5587... I am sorry that you are having to deal with hair of the unwanted kind...and yes, the hair on my upper lip is still there too Darn!! But there is a chin whisker that I haven't had to pluck, so should I be happy. When I comment about it to my husband, he says...shush...don't brag or maybe it will come in black with a mole under it....

Lord, I hope not.



I did get that flu like feeling too and on days 3 and 4. Not sure why I worked those days. It probably wasn't working if you know what I mean, and I definitely went to bed as soon as I got home. I do have the advantage of working from home or the office, although it is preferable that I work at the office because of the face to face interaction...so I have have scheduled to work from home this treatment day 3 and 4 so that I can call off more easily if I need to go to bed. We'll see.

Virginger

i feel the SAME way MsPharaoh. I've only missed a few days....take day of treatment..and 1/2 day day before..I work 2nd shift and getting off work @ Midnight and having to be @ Dr's office @ 8:30am do not mix..My main SE beside my mouth/teeth has been 5th day after my treatment I LOSE my voice.....ugh....on those days I work 1/2 day....can't direct with no voice..and the 2nd 1/2 of my shift I run camera and don't Have to TALK....

Going to work helps me from not sitting around my condo FEELING SICK.....

Hope everyone has a pleasent rest of the week.....1/2 way point from ME Friday...will be 3 down...3 to go!

Pugmom5

It's 4:00 am and I've been up for an hour so I thought this would be a good place to be and I was right! I'm amazed at how many issues I share with the rest of you. I've had shortness of breath and a high pulse off and on since #3 last week. I had a PICC put in and it's been freaking me out a bit so I thought it was that, but my husband said it could be caused by my anemia. I'm also more wiped out from this one than the other two and kind of dreading #4 in two weeks even though its my last one. This really is a hard and lonely road. I have three teenage daughters who are great girls but show no emotion to me at all. They never ask how I'm feeling or doing and it's really starting to get to me. The cancer center that I go to offers counseling with a social worker and I'm going to call tomorrow.



Jen, I hope you and your son are doing okay. What an absolutely horrible experience you've both had.



Thanks for letting me ramble ladies!

BeHereNow

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. Please vent as much as you need to. You've been through so much stressful stuff. We hear you and know it's been really hard!



Pugmom5, I felt sad reading about your daughters' lack of support. My family has been imperfect at that, too. I did tell my son directly that I needed him to check in with me every week, at a minimum, and ask me how I am, listen, then tell me he loves me. While it's still limited, he is doing more than he was. I know each family is different. And teens can be little aliens, but I personally think it helps older kids to know what you need and want emotionally -- even if their answer is no. Also, my family does better if I am specific. It can be funny. In my early marriage, I drove my husband to the hallmark store, parked outside the front door, and told him to go inside and buy me a card .



Wishing all a mild SE day!

BeHereNow

Ok, ladies, I need to talk about some of the more devastating emotional aspects of this crappy disease. I'm so afraid it has robbed me forever of feeling attractive to my husband! Sorry this is TMI, but we were having a cuddle last night and it was clear we didn't know how to handle my empty chest. Then I couldn't stop thinking how ugly I must look bald. And, frankly, I sobbed. I think I've been pushing those feelings down and avoiding them because they're almost unbearable.



I worry about the forced menopause and with my cancer being hormonal, I am imaging a really crappy life of hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and joint pain.



I have already overcome a lot in life, including a lot of medical things, and was beginning, finally, to see real light in my life. I had overcome so much, and at 53 was relieved of some stressors and really enjoying my life in a way I'd never been able to in the past.



Then, last October my husband was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia. It's a "watch and wait" cancer, and we were devastated. A few months later, my BC diagnosis. Whenever my husband looks at me, he either is reminded of our mothers, who both died of cancer, or he sees his future. It's very sad. I'm heartbroken for both of us.



I'm being brave. I'm self advocating. I'm trying to be present and enjoy each precious moment.



But, I am devastated by this event, which has changed everything, forever. Life is bittersweet, not happily ever after. And I feel robbed.



Thanks for listening. If you feel comfortable, I'd appreciate hearing how you all are doing with these kinds of things.



F*ck cancer!