Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Jclc- sorry about losing your glasses. Yes, I have had vision issues since diagnosis. Called to get an eye exam in November but my doc couldn't see me til next Tuesday. Didn't want to wait that long, but wanted same doc sooo, we will see what he says.
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And on another note, it just amazes me how stupid some people are.
This morning I stopped by Sam's Club to get a few things. For those of you that have been there you know they have little booths set up to try things or sell new products. This woman stops me on the way to the register and is shoving this box into my hand and really wants me to 'see" her new product and starts her spiel. Well, I'm touting my bald head as I always do and it's only been six days after chemo so I'm not eager to touch anything,
She was determined to sell me this new CURLING IRON! I said to her, "Do I look like I need a curling iron?" I told her how insensitive she was and started shaking my head. She said "Well, have a nice day!" Most of me was laughing inside but a curling iron????
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MLP3, so glad to read that you are going to Dana-Farber. My sister in law went after her diagnosis in '11, so when I was diagnosed I followed her lead. We both live in New Hampshire, and both experienced some troubling interactions showing lack of communication, teamwork, and patient care at the local hospital where we started. Dana-Farber was like night and day by comparison. I hope that you also have a great experience there. Everyone from the doctors to the cashiers in the cafeteria has been wonderful.
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Jclc said: " Well. I have been wearing the other pair that I got at the same time, same prescription. But in the last few day my eyes aren't focusing very well at all. I am having vision problems and it doesn't seem to matter what pair I wear. I am not sure if it's from the chemo so I don't want to run out and get a new pair. Hopefully it's temporary. Anyone else having vision problems?"
I've noticed that my eyes are different and I do think it's from the chemo. I've always had dry eyes, but it's way worse since chemo. So my eyes water like the dickens (isn't that a paradox--dry eye makes your eyes water!) and at times the vision is blurry. At first I thought my glasses were dirty, but after wiping the glasses and even changing to a new pair, I realized that it was my eyes that were blurry. It goes and comes. I have a new prescription that I need to get filled. Maybe that will solve the problem.
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Jclc said: "This morning I stopped by Sam's Club to get a few things. For those of you that have been there you know they have little booths set up to try things or sell new products. This woman stops me on the way to the register and is shoving this box into my hand and really wants me to 'see" her new product and starts her spiel. Well, I'm touting my bald head as I always do and it's only been six days after chemo so I'm not eager to touch anything,
She was determined to sell me this new CURLING IRON! I said to her, "Do I look like I need a curling iron?" I told her how insensitive she was and started shaking my head. She said "Well, have a nice day!" Most of me was laughing inside but a curling iron????"
O.M.G. I would have so whipped off my wig right in that chick's face. What was she thinking?! Have a nice day indeed--6 days after chemo it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and choke down some Diet Coke now and then. Forget eating a healthy diet, exercising, sleeping well, or doing any of the myriad things that we women have to get done at office or at home. Have a nice day, indeed...idiot.
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Molly50 - Ive just been catching up on the thread and wanted to touch base with you, as you had the lumpectomy and then a mastectomy. I'm currently faced with a massive decision. I meet with my Oncologist again Jan 25th to be placed on my new hormone pill post chemo and now in menopause sadly. On my last day of treatment he threw me a curve ball and asked me to consider a mx, I was so shocked. In June my BS said my lumpectomy at that point was no different to a mx as in I had nothing to gain by it. I had really wide margins, no lymph node involvement. I had to do Chemo as this was a recurrence in the same spot from 4yrs ago and so I couldnt have rads this time. He said its not urgent but something to think about, I just feel damned if I do, damned if I don't you know?? I understand why he suggests it as it was a recurrence inspite of rads and 4yrs on tamoxifen. Trying to weigh up all options..
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Molly and Sloan: I really wish I could be in Pasadena or LA next week and would love a tour too...but alas no: one of the busiest work weeks of the year for me, so stuck here :-( Next time, I hope!
Octogirl
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Molly and Sloan: I really wish I could be in Pasadena or LA next week and would love a tour too...but alas no: one of the busiest work weeks of the year for me, so stuck here :-( Next time, I hope!
Octogirl
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Jcic: the steroids you get with chemo can cause vision problems, including hastening or worsening cataracts (some of that is age dependent). I'd make an appointment to see your eye care professional
Octogirl
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Jclc - Some people are either down right arrogant and rude or completely insensitive and ignorant! I must admit at 6 days post chemo, I think I felt even worse than I did SE's through it. I did wonder as I was in such pain as well if it were going to improve. Happy to say I am now 3 weeks post chemo, and I'm definitely improving. Its been a hard long road for 6 months and I was just eager to get back to my life, its a slow process but as long as I see Im improving each day Im happy!
havent started exercising yet and not working either, baby steps I say and Im confident in 3 weeks I'll be back at work and I want to be as best I can as I work with special needs kids, very demanding, but I love it!! -
Jclc and Octogirl - Gosh!!! I too had vision problems through Chemo, it would come and go. What I find now is, I only use glasses for reading and I honestly never wore them. Now the past few weeks, I cannot read without them, my eyesight has worsened?? I hadnt thought much of it, maybe I should get them checked!!
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Yes... I feel soooo much better with Dana Farber. And you're right, I feel in control for a change which is very empowering. My father is in remission for AML so I have a comfort level there... And they saved his life.
I just got off the phone with their nurse(not offered to me at MGH) and she said after looking at my reports, she sees a lumpectomy, sentinel node and radiation on the surgery side of things. And she said most likely chemo with hormones due to the grade.
Still going to mgh tomorrow and I'm very curious to see what they say.
Curling iron...? Was she high??😜
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Melclarity,
I can certainly understand your MO's concern. Have you had genetic testing? I have a friend who is BRCA2. She had a lumpectomy 12 years ago and was on Arimidex for 10 years. She had a recurrance 2 years post AI's and opted to have a bilateral mx this time around. Since she had rads last time it was the best option for her. I think her decision was mostly based on the genetic component but combined with the inability to have radiation again she felt mx was the right choice. How do you feel about close monitoring? How do you feel about reconstruction? Why not talk to a PS first before making any decisions? I will be honest with you that I still have great fear of recurrance on that side even without my breast. I also dread my recon surgery and yet I am opting for a prophy on my good side due to genetic mutation. Boy, I will tell you...until you have BC you really don't know the dreadful decisions women (and men) have to make. So many days I want to give up and just go flat but I don't think I would like myself very much that way. Anyway, if you want to talk further please feel free to PM me.
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Octogirl, hopefully next time! I am so excited to meet Sloan!
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Hi Molly! - Oh I agree, its been so many difficult decisoins, I didnt have genetic testing as there are many factors that would make the Oncologist do the test and he said out of say 5 criteria I had maybe 1. My Mum was only relative with Cancer in my entire family, and I didnt meet all the other criteria, so he said it would be VERY doubtful that I would be positive for that gene. I honestly don't know, for so many reasons I dont want to do it and then reconstruction and on and on. Then I think what if it comes back and I didnt Id have to do chemo again and I honestly dont think I could right now. I see my BS in February, so I'll discuss it in length and really take time to digest. It was just so heartbreaking going through it again 4yrs later, I thought first time was hard, this was really hard. Am a bit emotional today eventhough feeling improved 3 weeks after chemo. Uuugh!!! Thank Molly, will PM you if have any questions.
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Well, in honor of the New Year and new resolutions, DH & I decided to make a few changes. We are both 59 now; he is retired on disability and I am still working, but of course, staring down retirement myself. We have resolved to get serious about paying off our credit cards and loans, and making efforts toward unloading the house sometime in the next 2 years. As a result, our May 2016 cruise to the Eastern Caribbean has bit the dust, so that we can put that money toward 2 credit cards.
Surprisingly, I'm not all that upset. I love to cruise and I love to travel anywhere. But the thought of paying off credit cards and getting my house in order is just thrilling. DH's health is not good, and of course, mine isn't too great at the moment. I think it really just hit us that we need to get our ducks in a row here. Would I rather keep working to pay off "stuff", or would I rather be able to retire while DH is still alive and relatively able, so that we can do some things together?
So, here is our plan:
- Rather than going on a very pricy cruise, during which I will be worried about money the whole time, we are going to take several short outings around our state. Georgia is the largest state east of the Mississippi, so that's a lot of ground to cover. We drive a Prius, so it costs us, like $6 to drive to the beach, LOL.
- Pay for anything that's not meds or doctors with cash.
- No going to the store without a list, and we will STICK to the list!
- No shopping for recreation--if we want recreation, we will head out to the Prius and drive up to the mountains for a BBQ sandwich.
- Few or no first-run movies--this is my downfall; I love movie popcorn and I love to go to the movies. However, Star Wars & dinner with the kids recently cost over $150~!!! Thankfully, their grandmother pitched in, but still.... From now on, we will have to be happy with cable TV and Xfinity On Demand. I can get a bag of hot "movie popcorn" at Target for $2, if I absolutely have to have some of the real thing.
- When the weather improves, open the basement and drag everything outside. Root through and get rid of things that can go to the thrift store, the shredder, or the trash can. Fortunately, I am not a "saver", so it's pretty easy for me to pare things down. I'm hoping that DH will finally come to a decision about his motorcycle--he can no longer ride due to his limitations and that's about $2,000 just sitting there. But I won't push that--the motorcycle means so many other things to him.
There! I feel better already!
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MLP - My DH and I did pretty much what you're talking about except we sold our house, got rid of stuff, and moved into our RV which at the time was a 30' Airstream travel trailer. I took early retirement - I was 56. He was already retired, but with chronic health conditions. We traveled the US for six years which no one can ever take away from us. In 2012, health conditions made it necessary to sell the RV (by this time a 40' motorhome,) and move into a house. Never regretted it, never will. Read our blog if you will Two Hams in a Can
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Poodles, I think you are making the right choice - get the finances under control. Do thinks with DH while he can. We weren't able to do that. Never had retirement like we had hoped. Of course, I planned on never retiring since I liked my job and thought the money would be nice. That didn't happen. Got laid off. I am so a "saver" and 48 years of never moving has ensured that I have a boatload of crap to sort through. Moving is a powerful motivator. I want something smaller and on one floor with a basement.
You have made the hard decisions and have a goal. That's good. Good luck keeping the decisions. A goal does help.
HUGS!
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jclc - I had to pick my jaw up from the floor after "the curling iron story". Geez!
Octogirl and Molly - We'll all meet up together soon. Molly and I will just kick off the new year together. I'm so excited, too!
Peggy - My husband's uncle once said, "Everyone's garage should just burn down every 10 years."
Mustlovepoodles - yes, more picnics! They are usually better than most restaurants and certainly more memorable! My DH and I went on a picnic on New Year's Eve -just a spur of the moment thing at the river- and we had a great time!
Here is our picnic picture:. My DH is sitting, and this guy brings his drone over and wants to film us and our little teardrop trailer so he can get better at flying. So, we hid our wine glasses and said sure! I'm not really a drone person, but I have to say the picnic was eventful and cost nothing. So, poodles, I love your ideas! (The drone was actually heavy... learned something new, too).
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Brit, that’s exactly what my cousins down in FL did, from their early 60s into their mid-80s. Last year, they finally sold the RV and their townhome and moved into a retirement community where activities and free transit are included. He’s a retired dentist who still publishes, she’s a former concert soprano who loved to do community musical theater (she sang at our wedding 44+ years ago, accompanied by my aunt who was a symphony violinist--and whose proudest achievement was being the violin soloist on Goffin/King's original “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” by the Shirelles).
Got thrown for a loop today. One of my very close friends decided, after reconnecting at a friend’s party before Thanksgiving, that it was high time she got a screening mammo. You guessed it--the report came in yesterday and they found an anomaly. But the radiologist thinks she should go straight from a spot compression mammo to a stereotactic biopsy, with no US or MRI in between. She’s been going to a small-town hospital 50 mi. SW of the Chicago city line (and she lives in an even smaller adjacent town). My husband is her PCP and cardiologist--he’s referring her to the Breast Health Center at Advocate Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn. (Silver Cross in Joliet is closer, but Christ has a more comprehensive program and it’s where he’s on staff). But this ain’t her first rodeo. In 1992, she had a tiny anomaly on a screening mammo. She was living on Chicago’s far NW Side then, and so she went to Advocate (then EHS) Lutheran General (pretty much state of the art for cancer back then, as it is now). But her surgeon insisted on skipping ultrasound or core biopsy and going straight to an excisional biopsy--de facto lumpectomy. They did a wire localization--but when they went in, they couldn’t even find anything to biopsy.
She’s on pins & needles right now. I can relate. If she does have bc, she’ll have surgery up at Christ and take her treatments closer to home.
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Sloan, I've been praying for decades that our garage (which is detached) would burn down, have a tree fall on it (that's possible) or some other disaster strike it. It's a one car. The critters love it. It stores only lawn chairs and some lawn equipment. So that wouldn't help the decluttering. But then I'd have a shiny new garage! I kind of like drones. But boy they are scary when used near an airport. Your little teardrop camper is cute.
Wow, love how your wedding was done with the music, ChiSandy. Sorry to hear about your friend but sounds good that she got the screening mammo. Fingers crossed that it's nothing.
HUGS!
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Oh my! So wish I could visit LA soon! Would love to meet some you ladies and visit my friends out there. And Neil Tyson-DeGrasse! sigh
Well, today did not go as planned. Woke up soaked in blood. The hole in my boob had seeped through the surgerical pad, four layers of a hand towel, and my jammies. I was wringing blood out of the towel--so gross. DH called the BS and we went straight in. She looked me over and decided it WAS blood. Old blood that was starting to separate. It was still just oozing away. She wanted to defer to my PS, but said if he couldn't, she would do surgery tomorrow morning. Well, we went straight to the PS's office and he sent me straight to surgery. He opened up the lumpy incision, drained the hematoma, washed out the lumpy cavity, and closed it back up. I have a drain now--but so far it is empty. Back to sponge baths, no driving, no lifting over 5 lbs., etc.
And...no Star Wars. I sent DH home to take the boys since we had already paid for the tickets. My sis and mom came up to stay with me. My men were all in the theater during surgery and recovery. Glad DH had that distraction though. The rushed surgery kinda knocked us both off our feet. Oh, and rads is delayed a couple more weeks.
I am very groggy, but the pain meds are doing their job. Hoping I bounce back quicker with this little SX. I was JUST starting to feel like I was in the clear--no pain, incisions feeling good, more energy/stamina each day. Expect the unexpected, I guess. -
Musosgrl, well, today certainly was rotten. I'm glad you got in to see your BS and that the PS took care of the problem. Amazing how fast they acted. That's good. Bummer that you missed Star Wars AND that you are limited again as to what you can do. But how wonderful that sis and mom were available and DH could take the kids to the movie. That worked out well.
Hope you are now on the road to recovery and that it will be smooth as glass!
HUGS!
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Sloan, Molly -- I'm in SoCal, but down in OC. I'm still sorting out when I'll be getting my port removed, so I'm not sure what dates I'll have open. But I hope you have a Happy Birthday, Sloan.
Your plans sound fun. I lived in Pasadena for around 10 years, and loved it (aside from the heat and smog). Right now, I dread going out at all--funny how a bit of rain can be a near disaster here, with flooding and mudslides and accidents.---
Sorry, I'm lazy about going back to find who said what! But...
Feeling nauseous after LX-- I didn't. I think it depends on if you have a reaction to anesthesia...
Driving to chemo -- I drove. I was usually ok when getting the infusions... the SEs that would send me to the hospital happened during the 2 weeks between! Even with IV drips stuck into my port, I still drove to places, appointments, etc. I didn't feel all that social, though, so it was all mostly to doctor appointments or driving back to my home to pick up packages (I was mostly staying with my sister while getting treatment).
SNB -- No need to worry about it. Maybe the location of the incision might be awkward, and maybe the arm will rub it a bit, but everyone's experience is different. I had no pain at all from mine and it healed up about as quickly as the incision around my nipple for the LX. Never had numbness there, either.
Neuropathy and Icing ... and sex?-- I had neuropathy. They told me to take B-Complex at the infusion center. I saw a Neurologist and he said there was pretty little anyone could actually DO about it, and sometimes it would get better after chemo and sometimes not. I asked about more holistic treatments and he mentioned Alpha-Lipoic acid as a supplement. My MO suggested L-Glutamine for mouth sores.
I thought about icing, but it seemed more of a hassle than I wanted to deal with. My hair was already thin and thinning just from age... Still it's a pain losing it (chilly and makes keeping a wig on, or even hats on a little tricky), plus you have to run around for ages bald or with fuzz or short hair. I got a very nice wig and usually wear that. Makes me look WAY too young (it's long and very thick, human hair), but hey, I need to get something out of all of this!
I put nourishing clear coats on my nails... My goth days are behind me by a long-shot so I didn't bother with the dark polish! My nails only had ridges and got pale all the through chemo, and started lifting a month or two after! Toenails are still growing slowly up and back to normal (I stopped chemo in April '15). Chemo is a whole big pain in the butt, but as I said, I could still drive. Not sure if I could work full-time, but I wasn't totally useless. I would think sex would not be out of the picture... main problems would be if you were feeling fatigue or under the weather from SEs, or just mentally not in the mood. But if you were feeling OK, I don't see why not. Again--the range of experiences even with similar treatments is HUGE, so it's hard to predict. You just have to play it by ear. Plenty of people are working and exercising and presumably having sex all through chemo... Others not so much!
Chemo and eyesight changes -- Tearing eyes or dry eyes is most common, but other changes could happen too. My MO sent me to an opthamologist for dry eye (but I also had on-going eye issues, so that's what I mostly got checked for). It's always good to keep on top of your eye health anyway, particularly if you're getting up there in age... Vision changes are going to happen just from that.
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Those of you who haven't yet sorted out your treatments, try not to anticipate the worst. You likely will not have to worry about chemo unless your docs have been suggesting it due to HER2+ or high Grade or lymph involvement. You likely will NOT have trouble with your LX. You likely won't need an MX, or extra surgeries. Things are crazy enough without worrying about all the worst case scenarios. --Although it's very human to do that! So don't beat yourselves up about that, either! and yeah, we all know things can go towards the worst, since we experienced it when we got our dx's! *sigh*
This board is a wonderful place, and this thread in particular... I guess that's why it's so active! The wide-ranging questions and answers and comments and support are the best!
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Musos, sorry to hear about the hematoma--hope you can get the drain out soon and the incision will heal.
Peggy, when we bought our house we had a crappy little rickety wood-and-shingle 1-1/2 car detached garage. It was the neighborhood eyesore, so ugly that gang-tagging graffiti was an improvement. We applied to the city to have it condemned after several bad storms, and the city finally came through. Because of the condemnation, insurance paid for the demolition. We’ve had an aluminum-sided 2-car garage for 20 years now, with a finish that repels markers & spray paint--take that, taggers!
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CHiSandy, lucky you that the city cooperated. Considering we've been here 48 years, I doubt that the city would be that nice - it would be considered our problem. There's a big mostly dead maple tree that really should fall on it but keeps on standing. I envy you your nice garage! Don't have taggers in my neighborhood. And I do live IN the City of Pontiac. A very nice neighborhood which helps.
HUGS!
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Peggy, I’ve performed a few times in Pontiac, back when “Live From The Living Room” was held at the Blue Note Lounge in the Pontiac Arts Center. I was part of The SASS! Trio as well as my current role as half of Andina & Rich. Haven’t been back in awhile--the concert series has been moved to a church in Oakland. Might be going back out there for a gig in Ann Arbor en route to the East Coast.
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Musosgirl so sorry to hear about that! I hope it heals up really quickly. I also think that your family will be happy to see the movie with you again, I know any of us would in a heart beat
April, thank you for your long thoughtful post. It was really very reassuring to me! You ladies are also on your phone! I am so glad I found this group. I wish I'd found it earlier, instead of when I was pretty well done with my lx, but still!
Today Sucked. I had blood tests and geneticist appointment in the morning, then work the rest of the day, then went back for a CAT scan at 7 PM. I'm grumpy tired and hungry. Hopefully I will be sleep tonight. Tomorrow is chemo.
On the chemo boards, I keep seeing PFC what does that mean? From context, all I can think is post f*cking chemo, but I'm not sure if ladies swear here!
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Oh good gravy, Jclc...a CURLING iron? WOW~
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ChiSandy, sorry to say I'm not familiar with "Live from the Living Room." Nice that you have been here. We think we're pretty nice
Ann Arbor is close. Are you familiar with Jackson? Well, it's about 30 minutes from A2 and that's where we BCO gals meet - at a vineyard!!! Sandhill Crane Vineyards We can get together at the drop of a hat! Let me know when you might be in the area. If I'm here, I'll see if I can manage 4 or 5 us at the vineyard (it is the most serene place I've ever been to).HUGS!
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