Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Molly50

Happy Hammer, I don't think it's ever going to be out of our minds. Even my BS said once you have breast cancer you always have the risk.

HappyHammer

Molly- I know you are right...wishful thinking....ugh!

PontiacPeggy

Molly, it IS hard when you don't fit the normal criteria for treatments. Your road has been challenging. No fun being different.

HappyHammer, fingers and toes crossed that your lump is absolutely nothing. In your pocket!

HUGS!

Brutersmom

Sometimes I feel like my office is developing its own cancer support group. I knew another agent had stage IV throat cancer. His hospital tells him he is currently cancer free. He finished treatment a year ago. Tonight I learned another agent had lymphatic cancer 3+years ago. And at lunch a business partner told me his wife just had a lumpectomy. I share briefly my story and offered support. He was so happy to have someone who has been there to talk to. The agent tonight told she still gets nervous when she goes for blood test and other follow up visits. We agreed that the fear never goes away but it does lessen. We also agree that we like working because it helps to refocus our thinking. OK so we have to write things down more than other people and sometimes we just can't remember the name of the person we are talking to but we are happy to be alive and able to return to our normal actives.

PontiacPeggy

BrutersMom, sounds like a good idea - work support group. Unless you have been touched by cancer, it is really hard to "get it." And it's nice to be able to share what you've learned with someone just starting out and to see people who are years out from their treatment and doing just fine.

It IS very nice to return to normal. Not quite the same as the old normal but much more appreciated.

HUGS!

614

Dear Musosgirl:

I did not read that far back on this thread but it sounds like you had a breast reduction with your surgery.  I had that too.  I had one very large lump and one small lump but they were at 11:00 and at 2:00/3:00.  I had a double lumpectomy.  Approximately 12 cm of breast tissue had to be removed.  My plastic surgeon did a breast reduction and a breast lift so that I would not be deformed.  He said that my nipples would not have lined up correctly and the size of each breast would have been drastically different if I did not have the reduction/lift.  He did a great job and my breasts look awesome now.  Unfortunately, my insurance company felt that I had cosmetic surgery and they refused to pay for my right breast.

Yes, there are numerous scars that are all over the place.  However, the scars will fade and the incisions will heal.  Radiation helps hide the scars so the scars on my left breast are much less noticeable than the scars on my right breast.  Will you be having radiation?  If not, fyi:  my right breast looks great now too.  I had my surgery in July of 2014 and I finished radiation in October of 2014.  The scars are still there but they do not stand out.

I have a horrible allergy  to adhesives on bandages too.  The tegratol - clear stretchy plastic looking tape - is the only tape that I can use.  Everything else causes terrible rashes.  Even the markers on mammograms cause rashes for me.  I did not know about using mini pads.  That is a great idea.  I used guaze pads and I did not use any tape.  I used antibiotic ointment on the incisions and covered the incisions with large gauze pads.  I used medical bras which bound my breasts and worked well.  The bra held the gauze in place without tape.

I live in Florida and I was treated at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Texas.  The airport security had a field day with my medical bra and they did scans of my breasts.  I think that they called in the SWAT team to check!  ROFL!!  The medical bras have zippers in the front which set off the alarm/buzzer noise.  I had just had surgery a few days prior and had to explain to airport security that I was recovering from surgery and the zippered bra was a medical necessity!  I was not trying to smuggle contraband in my bra.  You cannot make this stuff up.  That plus having to fight my insurance company and fight bc at the same time. What fun! 

I had to sleep on my back for a while after my double lumpectomy, breast reduction/breast lift, and sentinal lymph node surgery (all in one surgery).  The incisions healed pretty quickly.  The end result does not look the same way as the incisions initially looked. It is frightening at first due to all of the bruising and the numerous seemingly open scars on both breasts.  However, your breasts will look fantastic.  Try not to worry.  It will heal and it will get better.

Yes, the cancer/possible recurrence part is scary and always lurking at the back of my mind.  However, there is nothing I can do about the "what if's".  I trust my doctors and I believe in them.  I go to a "living with breast cancer" survivor group and I always check the breastcancer.org website.  It helps me tremendously.

I finished my tx a little over a year ago but I had my oophorectomy last December.  Since that time, I have had an MRI guided biopsy in May 2015 and an Ultrasound guided biopsy in November 2015.  The fun never ends...

What I can say is that I feel extraordinarilly lucky that I was diagnosed early and that I am ok.  I have met so many wonderful people since the start of my bc journey.  I have had a total of 14 core needle biopsies/excisional biopsies/lumpectomies over the years plus my SNB.  The lumpectomies and/or the biopsies were not bad for me.  I recovered immediately and had no issues.  The SNB was much worse for me.

Good luck to everyone here and happy holidays.

 

PontiacPeggy

614, what a trip you've had. I love your problems with the TSA - I was laughing with you although I suspect you probably wanted to either cry or murder a whole bunch of people or both. I agree about the SNB - a pain in the booty. Thanks for sharing and so glad you are doing well.

HUGS!

Musosgirl

614, I am having radiation. We are waiting to do my left (good) breast until after that. Both of my surgeons want to get full pathology back on the lumpectomy and let radiation shrink and settle and do what it will do to the right side before going for symmetry. I will be very uneven for awhile. But I need a good long break.

My sister came by tonight and helped me clean up the surgery area a bit--tried to remove as much sticky stuff as possible. She was very helpful. And her reaction made me feel better. She thinks everything will look great once the swelling goes down and the incisions heal. Sometimes you just need a sister.

I have a Herceptin infusion in the morning--sticky stuff is all over my port (rolling eyes). After that I go see my PS. I will feel better after a doc or two have looked everything over and say it's healing fine.

LoveMyVizsla

I have a sister, she's even studying to be a nurse! But she is clear on the other side of the country.

Molly50

614, great TSA story! Musogirl, hooray for sisters! Happy Hammer, I am in your pocket along with Peggy.

Rosiesride

Melclarity....it sure is a whirlwind when diagnosis occurs and then course of treatment is thrown at you!, my diagnosis was official on Dec. 18 ( 2 years tomorrow!), lumpectomy on Jan. 3rd and chemo started feb. 10th...I did not go the route my surgeon said I should ...the " what would you do if it were you" question was asked and I just didn't like her response!! Glad I researched and got 2 and 3 opinions and they took my case to tumor board....my 2 nd opinion doc was in NY at the Carol Baldwin Center at Stonybrook hospital on LI. We are old family friends with the Baldwins ( actors Alec, Daniel, etc.)....I sent my reports to the hospital there and after I spoke with the doc, he also had said that keeping my lumpectomy was fine UNLESS I was BRAC gene positive...then recurrence would have been a much higher percentage, like 40% vs 10%...so I did have the test done and it was negative....his input confirmed my decision to NOT do Bmx. Now 2 years later, at 56, I. Have my life back, have learned a lot through my journey, and will be prepared to decide on bmx if and when I get recurrence. But I feel the next time will probably be mets....maybe just being prepared for the worst. I Guess we just do that as survivors....my 2 cents...for what it's worth! HAVE A BLESSED DAY! Rosie

etnasgrl

I know that y'all know about my news about the margins and lymph nodes, so I won't repost it here.....but I do need to talk....or try to make some sense of the emotions swirling around my head.
Obviously, the news is GOOD. The best news that we could have gotten. And trust me, to know that it's out and that they got everything is a FANTASTIC feeling, it really, really is.
I am beyond grateful. When I go to MD Anderson for my appointments, I see all sorts of people battling t...hrough cancer.....some are bald, some look exhausted, some are in wheelchairs, some are carrying around oxygen tanks. How did I get so damn lucky? What did I do that they didn't? How was my cancer caught so early and theirs wasn't?
I guess I feel bad. I feel lucky. I feel like my cancer was too "easy" to really count. I feel unworthy to be counted among some amazing people battling this horrible disease.
I also feel scared. The one thing I have learned is that cancer can NOT be cured. Yes, you can cut it out, radiate it out, chemo it out, and take pills to keep it out.....but you just never know if it's really and truly out. Cancer is sneaky....it lies in wait, pretending to be dead and gone. Then, one day, it's done hiding and pops out once again.
I'm 41, in the breast cancer world that is fairly young. Which means, to defy the odds and never be touched by breast cancer again is rare. Every headache can mean it's in my brain, every body ache can mean it's in my bones, every lump can mean it's back in my breast. I'm told it gets easier, the worrying. I'm sure it does....but it never goes away. It takes up residence and it's roots are buried deep.
My mom made it to her five year cancer free anniversary. My parents took a cruise to Alaska to celebrate. Two years later, the cancer was back. This time more agressive. That's the way cancer works. When it comes back, it comes back stronger and more powerful than before.....like it's pissed off you beat it once and is on a mission to prove it can't be beat again.

So yes, I'm happy about my news, I really am. I know how blessed I am. I know the bullet I dodged. But I can't help to feel guilty, (there are so many others out there who were unable to dodge the bullet and were hit square in the chest.), scared, worried, exhausted, sad, and confused.
I know you guys can't really do or say anything....I just needed to try to process all these different emotions and make some sense of them.
Thanks for listening!

PontiacPeggy

Etnasgrl, I think most of us who "merely" have a lumpectomy, clean margins, radiation and anti-hormonal drug feel a bit guilty. A lot of our suffering (and everyone's here) is mental. We didn't have to go through an Mx nor chemo. I understand what you are saying. And we are ALL worried about it coming back. Some of us just are better at managing to put our heads in the ground and ignoring the elephant in the room than others. For every woman like your mother who had BC come back, there are others like my neighbor who is a 30 year survivor. Best we can do is live like BC isn't in the back of our minds all the time, get checked and move on as much as possible. Just LIVE!!

HUGS!

Nash54

Etnasgrl.. I can totally understand where you are coming from given your mother's history and your young age. It's sometimes easier said than done to "live in the moment". But really that's all we have...any of us. I assume from your tag line you are a women of faith....hang onto that.

It took me about 4 months for the worry to lessen and for things to slowly get back to a new normal. I relied on Xanax for the nights I couldn't quiet my mind. I think it's a good thing that you can express your feelings so well. If we can identify what we are feeling we can deal with them better. My greatest fear was being sick....I kept saying "I don't know how to do sick". I feel very fortunate too that mine was caught early and treatment was minimal. I feel blessed.

JerseyRenee01

Good Morning, Ladies!

I have been busy so haven't been on! Tucked the "C" word away & enjoying the Holidays. Had our Christmas party Saturday night & Buddy the Elf was a HIT!

Sharing with you all! We had an "Elfin" good time! It felt good to be myself & have fun with my friends!

I go to Penn on Tuesday to discuss surgery. They are doing breast ultrasound before appt on that 2nd area that not sure if results from biopsy.

"Santa, We Know Him!"

🎅🏻🎄🎁

Hope those that have had surgery are doing well! Hugs to you all & enjoy your Holiday!

CyndiNic

Etnasgrl - well said!!! I have a wake to attend today for a 62 year old neighbor who bravely fought cancer for 5 years. He leaves behind a loving wife, 2 grown daughters and a severely disabled son who is 17. This is really hitting me hard - why does one family have to suffer so much? I look at how simple (yet time consuming) my treatment is and feel guilty when I have my down moments and forget to be grateful for the early intervention and full life I have ahead of me.

This journey will have changed me for the better in some ways - I have learned to appreciate my life and loved ones in it in a whole new way!!

Nash54

JerseyRenee.....Love the pic! Merry Christmas to you! Glad you got to enjoy yourself. Best of luck on Tuesday...we'll all be with you!

JerseyRenee01

cyndinic:

I am sorry to hear about your neighbor! Very sad!

You are so right on this journey! In just these past couple months I have really learned to appreciate life & worry so much less over trivial things! I have a friend who is also going through this. Had a real rough journey! She has 2 boys, she was dx in July. Chemo 1st. Then port got infected, delayed her BMX. She finally had surgery a month ago. She cries everyday! My heart breaks for her & being the holidays makes it worse for her. 😞

Cancer really sucks!

I as well was dx one month shy of my 42nd birthday & was my 1st mammo as well.

JerseyRenee01

Nash54:

Merry Christmas to you & your family!!! 🎄🎅🏻

Thank you!

{{hugs}}

Sally22

I just had a R Breast Lumpectomy 2 days ago, with 2 lymph nodes removed. I know it takes time but under my arm/and arm pit its numb feeling. When does this feeling go away? Did anyone else feel this way too.

Brutersmom

Everyone is different but numbness is normal. Mine went away relatively quickly and was replaced with discomfort for several months. I know a woman that still has some numbness. Some of your nerves were injured in the surgery. Give yourself time to heal. I am about 5 months out and my underarm still feels funky.

Sally22

Thanks for the advise. It's just the unknown that makes me wonder

Molly50

Welcome Sally22! It's very early for you so try not to worry. Are you doing rads next or chemo?  Since your diagnosis and treatment isn't public we can't see what your tx plan is.

Etnasgirl,  I get where you are coming from.  I have one friend who is stage 4 TN and one who is triple positive.  I feel very fortunate and some guilt like you say.   My oldest sister had bc at age 25 and was a 30 year survivor before she died at age 56 of early onset Alz

marijen

PP there's a reason BC stays in the back of our minds. It's to keep us abreast (No pun intended?) of anything and everything that might help us to help ourselves...

PontiacPeggy

Sally, welcome to this wonderful group. The numbness under my arm is still there a bit after 17 months. Almost normal just not quite. It was a year before it came close to normal. Everyone is different. And that area manages to annoy me regularly when I wear armholes that are tight or an underwire bra that rubs there. Two days is not really a good indicator of what things will feel like. You've had major surgery and your body needs time to heal. If possible, take two weeks off. It will make a difference. Even if you feel good, your body is working overtime to get back to normal.

As Molly mentioned, it is really helpful if you complete your profile and make it public. Then we know exactly what your Dx was and what treatments you have gone through or will go through. We can answer your questions so much better with that knowledge.

Keep asking your questions and we'll try to help.

HUGS!

mustlovepoodles

JerseyRenee, that's a really cute picture. Looks like you were having a lot of fun. You go, girl!

Sally, my underarm is numb from the SNB, too. I had my lumpectomies in Aug & Sep 2015, so it's been 3 months. The weirdest thing is that sometimes it feels itchy, but when I go to scratch I can't find the right place and the whole area is just numb. I think it must be nerve endings firing off. It sure isn't satisfying to scratch an itch when you can't feel it!

Sally22

Hi Everyone,

And thanks for the wonderful advise. I will update my profile and go public. Still new to the site so bare with me. LO

marijen

Don't ask me why but Aquafor works great for the numbness. My burning is gone and numbness is way down with axillary dissection. Less than two months out.

etnasgrl

Thanks guys, for understanding! I can't tell y'all how much it means to have this place. The support is such a blessing!

Shopgal2

Etnasgirl please do not feel guilt about your results; yes you are valid in your feelings, but with respect to all but I feel that with cancer, luck is subjective.

A few weeks ago I had a woman approach me in a store and said " I hope things work out for you with treatment. I was lucky I didn't need chemo". I didn't know what to say to herexcept ok. I was upset at her words because to me I felt unlucky that I had to have chemo. I had a hat on my head and could have had alopecia or just been a bald chick. When I thought about it I felt anger at the luck comment she had made. I know she didn't mean it how I took it. But then my sister said you are lucky there is chemo to treat your triple negative. And I am. I feel grateful that my cancer was caught early, my genetic testing was negative despite my mother and grandmother having bc also, my nodes were negative, and my reexcision was clean. Grateful that even though I am exhausted and bald from chemo, My mo told me I am cancer free since my surgery.

Be grateful for any and all treatment we have. Never feel unlucky or guilty. We are all strong. Gratitude is the best thing that I have learned this year.