Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

mairew

Myajames, yes. Waiting is hard. I was feeling so depressed today I have not gone to work and am still in my pjs.

But, my BS just called and I have clean margins and SN on a 2.8 cm tumour! Happy dance! Unfortunately, BS thinks due to size of tumour, I might be a candidate for Chemo. They might not even run Oncotype, but she said I can push for that with MO. The MO office also called to schedule me for this Thursday, but its my 7 year old DD Xmas play at the same time and she will not understand if I miss it. So I declined the appt and will meet with MO in early Jan.

I sincerely hope that all my friends here waiting on path this week, get the best news. I am thinking of you all, and keeping my fingers crossed.

keepwalking

Myajames - You crack me up! I know where you are coming from. Waiting is absolutely the most gut-wrenching part of this process, and that is mostly what I have been doing for the last 3 months . I am so excited now to just be popping a tamoxifen pill once a day - at least I feel like I am doing something! Hang in there. At least you are well-informed, and it sounds like you are balancing the wait and the overload of data with a good dose of humor.

MaireW - Congratulations - great news on clean margins and clear node!!!! Celebrate and soak in the good vibes. I would probably want to see the Oncotype score, even though it means another 2-3 week wait. More data certainly can't hurt. Enjoy the Xmas play!

HUGS to all

HappyHammer

Oh Mya- it's so easy to get on the Dr. Google train, but, I really suggest getting off. It can be so scary and you need redst, rest, rest, plenty of fluids..and, your path report. Take good care..

LoveMyVizsla

Mya, step away from Google!

MaireW, yippee!!

I still have a couple of days to wait on the path report. Im having issues with my arm. It wants to go to sleep, which I'm sure is from the node incision and resultant swelling. Then this morning my right arm and breast were warmer than the left after my shower. No fever though.

Got a huge basket of goodies from a friend this morning and a hand-colored card from my 2 year old niece, so that brightened my day.

Sloan15

I agree with HH: The Internet is not your friend when you are in the waiting phase. It's too stressful. Get the info, talk to the doc, and make any inquiries tumor specific. Otherwise, all the "what ifs" pile up.

Jclc83

Laughter is the best medicine Mya! You remind me of my former self lol.

marijen

If we didn't have the internet we wouldn't be here. Then what?

Molly50

I think "here" on bco is okay but don't go looking for trouble on Google!

myajames

LoveMyVizsla Stepping away from google. I'm also a couple of days away from my path report. Hope your arm feels better!

mairew Yay for clear margins!

PontiacPeggy

MyaJames, if you need information, please read Dr Susan Love's Breast Book. It is good practical and an excellent source of everything to do with breast cancer. I find it is my bible. Shut down the internet unless you are Facebooking or here And definitely keep the humor. Love it!

HUGS!

mustlovepoodles

Mya, I hear you girl. I'm not a fan of Dr.Google for most people, but if you know how to read analysis and you choose research papers from legitimate sources, then go for it! I've been a nurse for 38 years, so for me, researching on the internet was actually soothing. By the time I got fully diagnosed, had surgery, and met with the first MO, I pretty well knew what my prognosis and treatment would be. When he blew me off with a prescription for an AI, all but patted me on the head, and then said "See ya in 3 months!", I knew he wasn't the right doc for me. I found another MO who immediately honed in on my ER+/PR- status, took one look at my genetics testing and said, "You need chemo. And WHY do you still have your breasts? They're going to try to kill you~!" Which was exactly what my research had already told me. I was actually relieved when I left the 2nd MOs office--finally, someone was listening to me and taking me seriously. I came away feeling like I was an equal member of the treatment team.

Some people find that looking things up on the internet only feeds their anxiety, but it was the opposite for me. It fully prepared me for what was to come, and when the word came down from the 2nd MO I wasn't at all surprised. Never even shed a tear. Just a walk in the park.YMMV.

ETA: I'll be seeing my BS tomorrow afternoon to discuss BMX sometime in Feb. Gotta finish up chemo and get all my blood levels back where they belong before she'll even think about surgery.

brithael

I was told to ONLY read BCO and stay away from anything else. I think that makes lots of sense. Mya - hope that pathology comes in really soon - it's so hard to wait. Finally got a new blog entry in for those who indulge.

Musosgirl

I am not enjoying this surgery part of the journey. Someone needs to stop the ride. I want off. The pain in general is better--SNB incision hurts more. Overall everything is very tender and sore. The tightness is uncomfortable. If I had seen a diagram of reduction incisions beforehand I do not know if I would have gone through with it. I do not have words....

I took off my bandages myself last night and broke down. Sobbed. Could not stop crying and almost made myself sick. I knew I wasn't ready, but I took a deep breath and put on a "suck it up, buttercup" attitude and just did it. Talk about stupid! I should have eased in to that one--I never give myself enough grace or permission to take my time.

I am still running a low grade fever but we called the surgeon and she said not to worry unless it hits 101.5. My chest congestion is not any better either. I want to feel better. Today was DS's 8th birthday and I have done very little with him. I put on real clothes for the first time since surgery (including a sports bra) and went out for pizza. Back home and back in p.j.'s. Both sons just had a huge fight after playing Mexican train--ended in tears. I have told DH to do baths and let them watch Star Wars Revenge of the Sith. I have refused to let them see it, but they are going to see the new one in the theater next week, so it's time to give in. I am holding my ground on Temple of Doom, however!

My PS wants me to change my bandages each day and told me maxi-pads are the cheapest way to do that. So we have been taping 4-5 together to cover all the incisions. But I am covered in tape stickiness. Any tips for getting this stuff off without irritating my already abused breast?

PontiacPeggy

MusosGirl, You need a few hundred HUGS! Obviously not a good time for you. I'm so sorry. It is very hard to imagine what surgery will do to your breast. Keep in mind that the shape may change as you heal. You have gone through so much it's not surprising that you had a meltdown. I'm glad DH is supportive. Remember that you are only a week out from surgery. It takes much longer than that to heal and for the incisions to stop hurting. SNB is a pain. It WILL get better but it took me several months. The incision on the breast didn't take that long. Once I took off the post-surgery bindings, I just had steri-strips and didn't need pads. Have you tried no pads? I wore Genie bras. You might try "paper" tape. It seems to leave less adhesive. Does your BS want you to keep the incisions covered?

I'm sorry that you weren't able to fully enjoy DS's birthday. Don't be hard on yourself!

HUGS!!!

mustlovepoodles

Muso, I didn't have any luck with the maxi pads and I am really sensitive to adhesive, even the paper tape. I mean, my skin was just raw and torn in places. I went to the pharmacy and bought a large box of large bandage pads6"x9", maybe?) and a case of 4"x4" gauze pads. If your incision is still not healed well, you might want to buy some Telfa dressing to put right next to the incision--it will not stick to the wound. I layered about 3 gauze pads directly on top of the incision, then 2 of the large pads on top. I used the least amount of tape that would possibly hold it--about 2in on each side. Then bound it all up in a snug bra, so the dressing wouldn't move around much. (At one point I had to wear 2 bras to keep everything firmly bound). I had to change the dressing 2-3 times a day, due to drainage (I had a huge seroma in there that was leaking like crazy) so I really made an investment in bandage supplies!

Molly50

Muso girl, huge huge hugs. I know how hard it is. When I finally looked at my incision and missing nipple after my mx I really wanted to cry. I wouldn't let my DH see me for a while. Once the incision started to look more healed and I started putting some calendula cream on my foob my skin started softening and looked so much better which made me feel better. Anyway, eventually you will feel better as your breast starts to heal and settle into place. In the meantime be kind to yourself.

HappyHammer

Muso....hugs to you all around...remember, sleep is recuperative AND a break from all of what is happening. SO sorry you weren't able to be very involved in the birthday celebration but...glad your DH is involved and doing what he can. Be easy on yourself and know that you will be there later on after your body has had a chance to heal some!

myajames

Thinking about you Musosgirl. I know how much it sucks to not be there for your kids when you want to be. I have 3 boys, and there have been days where I feel like I could have/ or should have done better. However, I have learned... that kids are resilient and understand way more than we give them credit for. You getting better is the best present.

Remember to be compassionate with yourself. Give yourself the same compassion and same permissions you would give your very best friend.

Big hugs!

Sooo... I'm back at work today... Underarm and boob felt fine while in bed.... Here in this cold office... Not so much. I'm ready to go home. 8 more hours.

New after surgery symptom. Crustiness. I think maybe my incision is leaking and whatever is coming out is drying on my skin causing some crustiness. Not the sexiest thing.

LoveMyVizsla

Well, that's one symptom I hope I don't follow you with. My steri-strips are still on my main incision, so I think I am good. My upper boob/underarm is another story, oww. I need to find sports bras that are lower cut in the arm area.

PontiacPeggy

LoveMyVizsla, I think there aren't sports bras that are cut low under the arm. It's that SNB site a pain? Good luck. I just had steri-strips too.

MyaJames, when do you see your BS next? I think you should call her if you have draining issues. Just to make sure everything is okay. if you can try to stay home or leave work early. It's IS major surgery though it doesn't "sound" like it. And take it easy!!!

HUGS!

Outrunning

Hi. I haven't been around lately. Done with treatment and crazy busy trying to catch back up with life and work.

Started Tamoxifen Dec 1. So far I don't notice any SEs.

I have a "Cancer Survivorship Counseling" thing this afternoon. Has anyone done this? I haven no idea what to expect.

PontiacPeggy

Outrunning, I had one last summer. I also didn't know what to expect. The Nurse Practitioner met with me for about an hour. Really asked about me: mental state, physical, etc. And she listened. It was nice. I haven't met with her since. I think if I'd needed anti-depressants or help with SEs, she'd have initiated that, too. I figure we can always use all the support possible. And she has more time than my MO (whom she works for/with). A nice service.

Glad you're doing well! Nice to get on with life, isn't it?

HUGS!

Outrunning

Yes. Getting on with life is AMAZING!

Thanks for the heads up. You've given me hope that maybe this won't be the two hours that was in the hospital reminder. I'd love to be done a little early to Xmas shop.

HappyHammer

Mya- so sorry you are back at work so soon. My incision did leak some and the fluid would dry kind of crusty. A friend brought me an electric "throw" that has been great to put over my lap and all. Would something like that help you be more comfortable at work? Being cold has been an issue for me since starting this process and it makes my breasts even more tender so....just passing on info about the throws because I had never seen one until friend brought it over.

Melclarity

Hey Rosiesride! Thanks for such a huge reply! It is a huge decision and am thinking as you said, of the recurrence, I need to get in depth information about the type of Cancer I have etc., I havent had the gene testing either. its all been a blur. Though it was a recurrence, in the same spot, the lumpectomy was huge and really wide margins and lymph nodes were CLEAR. It is interesting as my Surgeon said theres not alot of difference between lumpectomy vs mastectomy, his opinion was results are the same. Im guessing depends on the degree of Cancer inside the Breast as in how spread also. Lots to consider.

I think as Ive just completed 12 rounds of Chemo on monday, suffering side effects its just too much to think about. Will do my homework and take some time to recover and rebuild. My Vitamin D level came back at 29 super low, so hoping to rebuild now.

My Oncologist did say he has patients same position opted for no mastectomy and are absolutely fine. Its a gamble either way I guess, he said having it takes away the worry of it coming back in the breast...my thoughts are but it can still come back in the chest wall if its persistent enough. Im all for being ahead of it and doing what is necessary to beat it...just tough isn't it with each thing you have to do and still not knowing if that will be enough.

Been a roller coast of a journey as for all women in the same boat, biggest lesson in this Ive learned to self nurture something Ive never done, Ive had to learn to say no to people and put myself above everything and everyone. Honoring ME...thats huge! and I think as women we forget to do that...

Thanks again Rosiesride!! x

Molly50

I was just reading the post about the announcement about oncotype Dx studies at San Antonio. What bothers me about this is if you read the announcement it says positive nodes with micromatastis not macromets and no mention of where LVI comes in to the picture. I still have moments of wondering if I should have had chemo. Oh well too late to worry. Btw, I decided to just watch the little lump I felt. I see my MO and BS next month anyway.

PontiacPeggy

Molly, I can see why you are going crazy. I'm curious: is it too late to do chemo if you want? I know nothing about chemo. With your score, chemo isn't normally indicated and it's the same as mine. Everything about BC treatment is hard - nothing etched in granite.

HUGS!

HappyHammer

Molly- Yep, me too...."watched" a place in the healthy breast for what seems like an eternity but was only a few weeks....appt w surgeon tomorrow....UGH. Can it...will it /ever be out of our minds?

Molly50

That's exactly right, Peggy. Nothing is absolutely the right thing. I don't think it's an option and not sure I want to but it drives me crazy because I really don't fit the exact criteria.

HappyHammer

Mya...Peggy is right~ calling your surgeon abt the "leaking" is a good idea ...if nothing else, to put on his/her radar that you had that....