Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Molly50 -- Interesting that you read about possible nerve damage from RT. I'll have to look into that. With all these symptoms, it's often hard to figure out what's causing what!
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PontiacPeggy -mustlovepoodles - I want to do simple but my kids don't eat or feed processed foods in there house. All I prepare will be done in light foil pans as I won't lug around my heavy pryrex dishes. I am starting the new PH Diet and there are some recipes in there. I will also do the dressing as my son requested. He likes that old souhern hot sausage dressing. I found my grandmother's sweet potato, walnut, and honey recipe and I want a fruit salad with nuts, crisp apples, grapes, mangos, and grilled pineapple, then mix all with whipped cream. Iam now down 12 pounds since last Thursday, as I eat about a tablespoon of several things and nothing tastes right.
I had bought a Turkey and will donate it to a family that can't afford one. I have alot of canned goods to give with it so add some potatoes and they can have a full meal. In Arkansas I did this every year for holidays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Usually Turkeys or Hams. I sent each family that depended on me a check this year for forty dollars so they can buy there own and get on a list for next year. I took care of that last year just prior to coming to Texas. One of my neighbors here is having hard times right now so she is getting the box this year. She has two boys so it won't be wasted. She was selling some of her belongings yesterday to get her rent paid. They had a block yard sale here yesterday and it was something else.Military famlies are in rotation to move somwhere else mainly.I am about three miles from FT. Hood. They are down sizing big time with a lot of civilians losing there jobs too. I have a mighty big prayer list this Thanksgiving. I just praise God my son is back on US soil. I don't worry about my son getting a job with his training and education. He gets offers all the time for him it is picking where. I am praying he gets the job in San Marcos, Tx. Its close to San Antonio and I love that city.
Well I am going to go sponge bath and get ready to go again.I think my body is rejecting this device in me. I can't touch my breast this morning it is so very sore. Take care you are in my prayers. Hugs to you have a good day,
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My relatives are coming down from Chicago and bringing the turkey and other stuff for Thanksgiving. So I won't have to do anything. Ha!
Of course, I have to make some things. I can't let them do everything. Just shopping for it all wears me out. Preparations will be slow. Not to mention cleaning the house, which never seems to be clean enough for company.
It's hard when you love to entertain. The holidays are never the same when you don't live near family. I guess nothing is ever the same as it used to be. I used to be so so skinny lol.
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JcLc83, I don't clean that intensive for company anymore. I'm lucky to have at least my brother and his family here. But it's awfully hard not having my sons here. Now that my DH is gone, I need to be near them so will be moving this summer.
HUGS!
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Got the call on pathology last night - margins in breast are clear!!! Tumor measured out at 2 cm, so has been growing since I was diagnosed last month. Took out 27 nodes of which 3 were positive, so not a bad report. Could be a lot worse. I already knew chemo and rads were in my future, so no surprise there. The team discussed me yesterday, and oncologists have a couple of plans to discuss when I meet with them.
Radiologist is talking about this: 3-D Surface Imaging to Facilitate Deep-Inspiration Breath-Hold (DIBH): Patients receiving radiation for left-sided breast tumors while in the supine position (lying chest up) are at greater risk for radiation exposure to the heart. Women can minimize this risk by breathing deeply and briefly holding their breath during treatment, which moves the heart and lungs away from breast tissue. To make DIBH easier for the patient, our experts use a state-of-the-art system that relies on 3-D surface imaging to detect the breast's position for accurate treatment. This highly sensitive technology delivers radiation only during optimal positioning, and shuts off automatically when the patient coughs or exhales. Unlike older DIBH technology, this system is non-invasive and does not require the patient to breathe into a device during treatment. Anybody else have this kind of radiation treatment?
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Brit that's great about the newer technology being used on you. My tumor was left breast as well and I am having some intense radiation. I know all the imaging and positioning is to avoid damaging my heart but it sounds like yours is even better. It's not likely your your family tumor grew that quickly, it's just that pathology more accurate than imaging. Since you're grade 3 chemo seems to be a given. I am glad you are being well taken care of.
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((Shirley))
What a kind, lovely woman you are!! Please don't worry too much about anything but your health. Your kids will understand. I'm sorry you have been having such a hard time. Today is the day, right? You get the savi out? God bless you.
Jc, I seriously dropped my cleaning standard with everything that is going on. My well being is more important. You should not be doing anything strenuous. No one will judge you.
Hugs to all of you! We are having our faux Thanksgiving tomorrow with my son and some friends and then my daughter and her boyfriend are cooking for us on Thursday.
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I always seem to have some sort of headache. Not sure if it's from chemo or stress or a combo platter. They get worse after my Neulasta and I take Claritin and Ibuprofen. Maybe it's just chemo fog. anyone else have headaches?
Where are you moving Peggy?
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👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Shirley ...party in the lounge after your last treatment today!!!!! 🎈🍷🎉.
Peggy are you moving to California?
Brit..congrats on a favorable path report....onward!
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Peggy...huge news about moving! Can you tell us more! You know we'd love to see you here in California!
I am sending hugs to all, wish I had more time to respond individually, but you are all in my thoughts.
It will be a busy time for me: we head out of town to visit my father and stepmother today for a pre-Thanksgiving get together. My father is 91 and in memory care, hope he recognizes me, but will be good to see him regardless and to hang with stepmom. Back Sunday, two more days of work, then we take off for LA to spend Thanksgiving with my DD, SIL and the grandkids. Woohoo! DD is doing most of the cooking, though I will help, and I get to spend a few days with the grandkids. Life doesn't get any better than it is when I hug those two adorable children!
xoxo to all
Octogirl
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Ladies, I will not be moving to San Diego unless my lottery numbers hit and then I'll be there tomorrow! I'll be moving to Spokane, Washington, where my youngest son lives. When I saw how difficult it was for both boys to travel across country to be with their father when he was dying, I realized that I had to be near at least one of them. It is unfair to them to be so far away from them. I'm really looking forward to my new life there. HOWEVER, it is challenging going through and finally decluttering and downsizing (well not so much) 50 years worth of stuff. Lived in this house for 49 years and we didn't throw much away. Lots of stuff to donate. Trying to find places for two wedding gowns (mine and my mother's) - no grandkids, so stuff I was saving for them is not needed. My brother can be the keeper of family history since it is likely at least one of his 4 kids will marry and have children. I have so much "stuff." It's just physically hard work. Not so much emotionally (thank heavens).
Brithael, Congratulations on the good path report with no surprises!!! They tested me for the breathing during rads and it apparently didn't make a difference. Hope it does for you!
I'm hosting Thanksgiving dinner but there will be only 4 or 5 of us (depends on if nephew's girlfriend comes). I'm looking forward to it. Maybe next year I can host all my DIL's relatives too for Thanksgiving and have a nice big crowd. That would be grand.
HUGS!
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Britheal and Molly - I'm left side tumor, too. I read about the deep breaths (start practicing holding breath like swimmers do!), but my treatments are in prone position. I'm on #25 of 30 in rads, and it hasn't been bad. The #1 thing in rads is not to allow skin to skin contact my doc said. Chemo was doable.
Peggy - Washington is a good second to California!
Jclc - I got headaches from chemo! The only thing that worked for me was to stay busy or sleep.
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Shirley, I am inspired by your giving spirit. The world needs about 265 million like you. We were the recipients of a Thanksgiving dinner after my youngest son was born with multiple disabilities. I was so depressed that I could hardly even care for my young children, let alone cook a traditional feast. Some friends of mine stepped up and brought us a full turkey dinner the night before Thanksgiving and we were so grateful. People like you and my friends make me want to be a better person.
Peggy, I'm glad to hear that you're moving closer to one of your children. I think we will probably always live near my children--they are homebodies and I can't foresee them moving away from this area. They are still in their 20s and like a lot of their generation, they still need some help getting going. See the movie, Failure to Launch, LOL.
My mom is going through this now and it has been exceedingly hard for her to get rid of her mountains of stuff (she's a hoarder.) She's moving from a 3000 sq.ft house to a 1,000 sq.ft 2 bedroom apartment near my sister, so obviously she can't take everything. Mom is having the same dilemma that you're having--what to do with the extraneous, sentimental stuff? Some of it is absolutely worthless--broken toys, chipped bowls, junk we made in kindergarten-- yet she is dithering over those things. She got real upset because no one was claiming the old, soiled doilies that belonged to her second husband's mother and grandmother, so I finally told her to put them in a box and I'll take them (straight to the dump, that is.) It has been very hard to convince her to give anything to Goodwill, because she wants it all to go to her children and grands. But we don't want or need this stuff; we are downsizing ourselves! It seems the only way to appease her is to take the stuff and then dispense with it ourselves.
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So, I see some talk of Thanksgiving. How do y'all celebrate? Do you plan to stay home and host, or go elsewhere for your feast?
This year we will have all three kids at home, plus a boyfriend. I am thrilled. Last year, DH was in the hospital with pneumonia at Thanksgiving, so the whole holiday was a disrupted mess. We had our handicapped son and home, with no help, so it was just exhausting and I couldn't wait for him to go back to his group home. That made me feel very sad and guilty, but it is what it is. This year we'll have him home and our kids will be available to help us with him.
I'm cooking some of the Thanksgiving meal, mostly the turkey & dressing and cranberry sauce. I'm lucky to have a chef in the family--my DD22 will take over most of the sides, desserts, and the gravy. I'm terrible at gravy. This year we are going to eat late, around 5:30pm, so that will really take the pressure off me. I'll be able to get up at a reasonable hour, watch the parades at my leisure, and play with my son, maybe even put up the Christmas tree (DS just LOVES the Christmas tree!) The turkey can go into the oven around 1pm, instead of 7am. I'm going to get a fresh turkey this year, so none of that thawing in the sink for 2 hours, like last year.
Can you tell that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday?
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Poodles, I do have some stuff I'm dithering over - mostly table linens. The china, e.g. I am keeping. I plan on being in a house (whether I buy or rent). With the pets, I don't want to be in an apartment. I am being pretty ruthless on what I toss or keep. I have sentimental stuff that I will keep. My sister-in-law said to move everything and if I don't have room in my new place, get rid of it there. So I am keeping furniture. But I still need to re-home about 800 books (I am keeping a couple hundred or so), lots of kitchen stuff I haven't used in ages and am not likely to use. Excess Christmas stuff is gone. Still working on my clothes. Now THAT is really hard. I don't know if I will want to work, if I might even start dating - I just don't know what my life will be like. So I can't go by the "if you haven't worn it in 2 years, it goes" mantra. I haven't done anything in 5 years since DH had been sick.
Oh well, I'll manage it all. I work a couple hours a day on sorting things out. That seems to be working at the moment.
HUGS!!
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*nods* My step-father had hundreds of books and video tapes, too. Mostly war history books that none of us are interested in. I'm hoping Mother will take them over to the VA hospital. Thankfully, we found a home for the 1500 model airplane kits he left behind! Mother also has scads of clothes--she had 19 jackets in her coat closet, alone. She attempted to give me some, but ended up taking them all back except for one, LOL. In another closet she has no less than 35 outfits that haven't seen the light of day in over 10 years and are probably all out of date now. But they can't go, either.
I would think this will be a time of great upheaval for both of you. The last 5 years have been such a trial for you. I remember when we had our youngest son placed in a group home, after 17 years of constant caregiving. Our world had become so circumscribed--just circling around our son--that when he left home we didn't know what to do with ourselves. It took about a year for us to get over the guilt and sadness--and he only lives 45 min away! It took at least that long for us to feel like we could go on vacation or do pleasurable things that no longer included my son.
So my wish for you is that you will be gentle with yourself. If you need to take all those things, do it. You can always disperse those items in Spokane, if you need to. I suspect that my mother will be putting about half her stuff in storage for the first year. Oh well. After she spends about $700 for that privilege, I imagine it will be easier for her to decide what she needs and doesn't need, LOL.
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(((Peggy))) I would imagine there is some grieving to go with all of the sorting. I feel badly that I haven't asked you how you are doing in that area of your life. You have been through so much yet continue to be so warm and welcoming to everyone here. MLP, I truly get what you are saying about the caregiving. My son is 17. Our whole life has revolved around him and his care, especially the last 2 years since he started getting so ill and everything started crashing in on itself. Not to mention DH and I have our own issues and can't easily lift him anymore. We haven't even been out on a date in so long I can't even remember the last time. We just accept that this phase of life is challenging and hope to have the time and health for the next phase. Octogirl, have a great time with your grandchildren!
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Poodles, after I put DH in a nursing home, it took me a long time to give myself permission to live and do things without Chuck, to have my own life. So that transition has pretty well been made. And I think I did a lot of my grieving prior to Chuck's passing. Of course, it is very possible that I have kept those feelings in a special little box to take out and cope with sometime down the road when it will be easier. I tend to do that and it seems to work for me. Grief is such a funny thing. Never know when something will blindside you and make your heart bleed.
Good luck with your mother downsizing. It would appear she is having more trouble than I am. I'll let you know this spring when I am ready to move!
Molly, I do know what you mean. You've had a really rotten, difficult time the past couple years.
HUGS to all of you dear friends - I'd be lost without you!
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MLP....I'll be hosting (I do every year). I have 7 family and friends joining my DH and DD. My DH always deep fries the turkey so leaves lots of room in the kitchen for me. My sister helps prepare and we try and keep it pretty simple....roasted veggies, sweet potato casserole, potatoes and gravy (from a jar!!!! my niece says this is her favorite..I hide the jar), dressing (compliments of BIL), fresh cranberry sauce and of course pies (which I ask my guests to bring...I don't bake). I'm getting a small honey baked ham too. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I use my mother's old gravy boat (maybe it makes the gravy tastes good LOL). We'll eat around 1pm so we can lay around after stuffing ourselves and snack of leftovers throughout the evening. If the weather is good we'll do our annual holiday hike.
Peggy....I love Seattle (coffee houses and movies and books during all the rainy weather...which I love). I also love to declutter. I'm a seasonal declutterer....I don't hang on to much. We have a great used book store where you can sell your books or get credit and buy more. My hardest thing to get rid of is magazines....I tend to hang onto them way too long. Excited for you for this next phase of your life.
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I know I dragged things around from place to place. Huge record collection, tons of books and lots of beautiful sweaters my mother made me ( they didn't even fit anymore). She was an artist so I toted around all of her canvases too.
All of the sudden I got to the point that I could let go of all of that. And I did. After my divorce I moved from a 3000 sq ft home to a 900 square foot condo. I had to downsize and it was cathartic too.
The only problem was later I moved back into a home and needed so much stuff lol. Then my son and his family moved in and now I don't have enough room. I can't win ugh.
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My husband and I moved from a 1600 sq ft. house to a 320 sq ft. RV. It was very liberating to get rid of years of "stuff." We traveled all over the country for six years, then when we had to get off the road because of health concerns, we bought another house. It's amazing how much "stuff" we've accumulated since then.
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Nash, wrong side of the state
Spokane is on the eastern side of Washington, about 45 minutes from the Idaho border (and Coeur d'Alene). It is dry there. Totally different from Seattle. I'm not going to buy very many more books - just from a select few authors; I'll buy e-books! Most places don't want 800 books at once. I have to figure that one out. I don't collect magazines so that's one less thing to toss.Jclc, I have a sweater that my MIL knit for DH long before I knew him that I am keeping.
Brithael, I don't plan on downsizing THAT much - from 2400 to maybe 1300 sq ft. I want to have room for my big dining room table and kingsized bed. The rest I'll stuff wherever there's a spot. I have a soft spot for coffee mugs and DH collected beer steins - now that is a problem looking for solution. I am not going to move all those steins nor all the mugs.
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. Nice to know that others have survived downsizing. I don't think I'll mind too much but getting there is a b***h.
HUGS!
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brithael wrote: "My husband and I moved from a 1600 sq ft. house to a 320 sq ft. RV. It was very liberating to get rid of years of "stuff." We traveled all over the country for six years, then when we had to get off the road because of health concerns, we bought another house. It's amazing how much "stuff" we've accumulated since then."
^^^This had been our plan, too, at one time. We took our two youngest kids on a 6,000 mile cross-country RV trip in 2007 and just fell in love with the RV life. LOL, that's how we know where Spokane is. But then in 2010 we flipped our rig, which resulted in both of us having some PTSD. Then, in 2014 DHs health took a drastic down-turn and everything thing changed. Towing became an extremely stressful activity, so we have parked our rig up in the north Georgia mountains at a place we love. It's actually kinda nice now--we just toss our little dog, our clothes & DHs oxygen into the Prius and drive 2 hours north. When we get there the rig is already set up. We plug it in, hook up the water, and in 10 minutes we're camping! We still sometimes question our decision to park it--we miss being about to go different places with our RV. We had hoped to return to some of those places we saw on our 2007 trip, but at this point DH can't even tolerate riding more than about 7 hours. And even then, he has to rest for a couple days after the trip. It would probably take us 3-4 weeks to get from Georgia to California at that rate.
One thing that our cross-country trip taught us is that we can live without a ton of stuff. It has made getting rid of stuff a lot easier. We plan to put the house on the market in 2 years and we'll probably move into an apartment or a condo until we figure out what we want to do and where exactly we want to live. Ideally, we'd like to spend winter in Florida (near DHs sister and mother), summers in Seattle (near my sister) and fall-through-Christmas in Georgia (with our kids.) I don't know how practical that would be, but I'd love to try!
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Poodles, that sounds like a wonderful plan. Hope you can implement it. Most people think Spokane is right next door to Seattle. I think it's one of those towns that unless you aren't going there, you don't really have to know where it is, just what state it's in.
HUGS!
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Before we took our RV trip, I thought all of Washington looked like the Olympic peninsula. Imagine my shock when we came down out of the Cascades and found high desert! Not what I was expecting at all.
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I find Spokane rather reminiscent of NW Colorado. I can understand your shock. It isn't what one thinks of when one hears "Washington State."
HUGS!
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Gee,I had big plans for today. I did take out the garbage lol. Now it's time to rest.
Hope all of you are enjoying the weekend.
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JCLC, That's okay. You're entitled to do nothing. Hope you're feeling okay. We have a winter storm warning and it sure is snowing. It looks pretty but I'm not a fan. So decided instead of decluttering/downsizing work today, I'd curl up with my new book and read. Not that it takes much for me to decide to read.
HUGS!!!
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PPeggy: nuts, you'll still be across the state from "me". (Father lives on/in Vashon Island and Seattle). But yeah, totally not what most people think of when they think 'Washington State'. Spokane really is more like the Great Plains than the Pacific Northwest.
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QueenMomCat, you pegged it. Seattle isn't THAT far away - in winter, yes. But not in summer. Maybe we can meet up when I finally get moved.
Enjoy the snow (it's pretty but I don't want it but I wasn't asked so it is still coming down).
HUGS!
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