STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

4sewwhat

Yes Flatsy, Positive attitude! Bless you for facing your challenges head on. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a dedicated mom.

Speaking of.............My daughter just had a friend over. Now mind you my house is a disaster and we try not to let people in. But kids need to have friends around too, so I just have an enter at your own risk policy. I know it is knee deep in here and someone might get lost.

Well above mentioned girl needed to use the bathroom but didn't want to go in the powder room because it was too messy. I have recently cleaned the seat, etc..as I live with 4 boys of different heights,.but yes the bowl needs scrubbed. Sorry!

Can someone please tell me how you are supposed to survive a dislocated/shattered in 8 places ankle, months on crutches and in a boot, getting diagnosed and having all your testing while on said crutches, 3 surgeries with one left to go, Chemo, Radiation, keeping 4 kids on schedule and on the honor roll with 2 of them ranked #1 in their freshman and sophomore classes and already testing out for college credit, dealing with unstable parents who do nothing but criticize and belittle, taking care of the 84 year old neighbor that lost his wife to cancer when he needs it, trying to pay all the bills, shoulder surgery for DH and now he isn't even supposed to be driving and has an 18 week rehab plan. I could go on, but you get the idea. Oh yea, and now the Holidays are coming. Yippee, Woo F'n Hoo. NOT

How is one supposed to deal with all of that AND keep the toilets clean????? AND the house clean. I guess when my box top Wonder Woman badge comes in the mail I will stand a better chance.

I know she is not very old and her mom probably keeps a perfect house, but just damn. OK, my pity party is over, well NOT, but I will STFU!!

luvmygoats

Quatre - I buy wool sweaters at thrift stores with the intention of making felted Christmas ornaments. I have a lovely dark evergreen one and I think another one in the cedar armoire. Note the word intention. Along with the crochet thread and book for making 100 diff. Christmas snowflake ornaments. BUT I've only ever done a chain stitch so I have to teach myself to crochet. Maybe this year.

I'm dividing my TV time between the Formula One race in Austin, the last NASCAR race and the Weather Channel. Those of you in the midwest I hope you are inside something safe. I emailed SIL in Paducah but no answer. May not be on computer or may be in the basement. Lovely here 89 degrees.

flat13good

Too bad for her if she got to go bad enough then she will no matter how dirty. You have had more than anyone should have to deal with at once. She will get over it or OH WELL!!!!! I grew up in a house of 10 so the bathroom was always dirty. And still is.

4sewwhat

Yes, I have rooms full of stuff I had "intentions" for!!!!!

Formula one is on here too. DH and DS2 are watching.

DD left to go play at other girls house, the one with the clean toilets!!

Teka

Hopefully, in time the girl will grow into manners.

4sewwhat

Her you go Sas, sending some help your way for today's project!

4sewwhat

Teka, it's not really her fault and she didn't say anything to me, she said something to my daughter who said something to me. I think the little girl was just as embarrassed. Bottom line is it shouldn't be this way and I just don't know how or when to get it any better. The kids try a little harder now, but first I was pretty laid up and DH tried his very best and now he is completely laid up and I am not 100% and still trying to juggle everything for all 6 of us and it is always 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.

Friends have offered to help but it is just too hard to let them in. I know they understand and are not judging, but just can't go there yet.

Teka

If I had been the girl, mom would've been ashamed of me and warmed my butt.

4sewwhat

Yes, me too and I hope my kids never do anything like that. I have never heard of that from anyplace they go. They understand there is always a back story and you just may not know what it is but you shouldn't judge, especially when you don't know or understand what is going on.

However, my daughter was at another friends house and they wanted to come play here and her dad said, in front of my daughter, no their house is not nice, you are not allowed to go there. What chance do the kids have at manners these days??

4sewwhat

MODs are doing a survey. I just took it. Unfortunately it didn't ask about a few things it could have, but overall it was good.

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/78/topic/814227?page=1#idx_1

Shellshine

Hey Hoolie sisters (and angels Red and Veggy),

Ducky I'm so pleased to hear that Grayson took her first steps! Wonderful, much needed news.

My DH had a rough week. He's weaning off of methadone for severe neuropathic pain (related to his partial spinal cord injury 16 years ago). He had two seizures this week, pretty badly bruised, spent Monday night looking after him and Tuesday night in the ER. They wanted to admit him but he refuses. I have this Tuesday off and need to light a fire under the VA to get some help. He is a 100% disabled vet and I need help - can't take care of him by myself, especially now that my son is in college. I don't expect or want him to be saddled looking after his dad, and feeling like he needs to stay close to home.

My work is very intense. It's not as rewarding as other types of hospice nursing, but it is perfect for me to learn the art and science. I'm working as a RN at a much reduced pay, but this experience will help me to be a good Nurse Practitioner after I take my Board Exams next year. I am stationed at the largest civilian hospital in Honolulu, and the motto seams to be "Treat em and Street em." When very, very sick individuals with a short life expectancy are admitted and inpatient treatment is completed, the hospital wants them out ASAP. They put the call out to all 4 hospices, and mine is one of them. I carry my computer, packets, references, purse and lunch in a wheeled trolly and spend the day meeting with families, helping them navigate through their options, then wait until I get the call to coordinate their transfer, order transport, order equipment and supplies, make sure they have a place to go to (most don't qualify for inpatient hospice so it's either a skilled nursing facility or home if they have family to take care of them). It's pretty amazing how many don't have good insurance or family to help them. It's a lot of work making sure that hospice is coordinated with the transfer. I often get a call 3 hours before the patient is to be discharged, and the family hasn't even signed up for hospice benefits, yet. My cell rings constantly, back and forth between hospital physicians, nurses and social workers and our hospice call center, admission nurses, equipment, supply and transport companies. I work really hard to make sure that pain and comfort meds are available wherever they go, they have enough oxygen for the transport and bedside oxygen when they get there, and try to help the families with the agonizing decisions they must make. I seem to be able to handle it really well emotionally. My brother died at this hospital, and it was not a "good death." Doing this work is where I am supposed to be right now. I work long hours and am a little embarrassed putting in for too much overtime, but once I master the job I will be logging all of my overtime hours in. I want to pass probation first! No paid holidays or days off until then, which will be January 1st.

Let's have a party on January 25th to celebrate passing my probation and my First NED Anniversary!! For those new to BCO, NED = No evidence of breast cancer disease. Needless to say, I will be ready for a little STFU party!!!

Love all of you

4sewwhat

Party it is!! My birthday is the 26th and it will be one year since I broke my ankle on the 28th! Want to round out that year and move on to a better one!!! Can we trow all that in the party mix too?

Shells, sorry DH is having it rough. Really wish we did a better job of taking care of our Vets.

Bless you for the job you are doing also. Many people don't have anyone so they need people like you who can and will help. I know it is stressful for you but sounds very rewarding also.

duckyb1

4..........I had 6 kids..... 3 boys who never hit the toilet bowl hole, and at one point new born, 1 year old, and a 2 year old........my life was ...married 56, baby 57, baby 58, and baby 59..........and had just turned 24 when I had baby #3, and a husband who never washed a dish.......

Cloth diapers, formula, steralizing bottles, and no dryer, but a 2nd hand automatic Kenmore, after someone felt sorry for me when they saw me using my wringer washer........

The only reason my toilet, and we had only 1 got clean, was because after dumping the poop in the toilet, we had to dip the diaper up and down in the clean toilet water to remove the excess poopy, then put it in a plastic bag to go to be washed..........toilet stayed clean because dipping splashed water, and you had to dry the whole toilet, which cleaned it at the same time........can anyone top that.....

You have more then your share, God love ya....there is always tomorrow....I would say .....people don't like the way my house looks.........pick up a rag, make it better, or don't come.........the only one who came was my Mom, and she did pick up the rag........Bless her heart

There will be dirt when I am dead and gone, and when they are looking at me in the coffin, I hope the only thing they can find to say won't be..."hey, she had a clean toilet"

Time spent with my kids was far more important then how clean my house was......and I had honor students, who have excelled today, and have successful children.....

My claim to fame would be "She was a fantastic Mother"........cause my belief is.......if you fail as a Mother you have failed in life.....that is my story and I'm sticking to it.........lol.....enough said......

And to think this all started over a dirty toilet, LOL, LOL......by the way I had a total of 6 kids....

Spookiesmom

My aunt said her house was dirty enough to be happy, clean enough to be healthy. Works for me!

4sewwhat

My mother won't even come visit. She doesn't like the mess, but when she did come she never had a problem getting waited on and adding to it. She would "help" sometimes, but only her way which meant she stormed through and just threw away whatever she felt like. Got to where I couldn't leave her in my house without worrying what she would go through, say or do.

At one point she told my kids they shouldn't live like this and that their father was a POS, and God knows what she said about me, they won't tell me. Told them she was going to call DFaCS and see about them coming to live with her and that she already had called the schools to see about enrolling them. Did I mention the kids don't spend much time with grandma now! And when I got diagnosed wanted to know what I was going to do with the kids. Told her I wasn't dead yet and they DID have a father.

Our house is happy and messy. I agree the time goes fast and I would rather messy and close to my kids than have her clean house and two kids that don't want to come around because they know you only see them as failures and disappointments. There is a reason my brother lives in Japan.

I do know all about those cloth diapers! We had foster babies when I was growing up and used them, formula concentrate, steralized the bottles in the boiling water bath, etc...Had a dryer but used the clothes line!

Only had 4 kids, but lost 4 too. Would have had more, but it just wasn't in the cards. Not for lack of trying!!!

My hubby does do dishes though but not until he is out of this sling!

4sewwhat

Spookie,

I like that Aunt!!! Mine is messy and cluttered. 6 people collect a lot of stuff and I work from home too. It has never been really dirty, until this year that is. But I can only do what I can do. Wish I felt better about that though. People have been great about meals. Next time I know someone that needs help I am suggesting a cleaning service. That would have been so much more help. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth though! This year has been such a learning experience. I am always the one doing the helping, I HATE receiving the help, but I am learning to just smile and say thanks!

Wren44

My mom's house was spotless. I didn't ask friends over because they might get the piano keys dirty. Miserable! I went the other way and should have been visited by the health department. It has taken until now (73) for me to have a cleanish house and feel comfortable.

Shells, I'm skeptical of long-term care insurance because my brother-in-law had a policy. They managed to stall and throw obstacles in the path until he finally died without them paying a red cent. We were lucky that he had saved money for travel and had enough to take him to the end. We had hospice for my mom and I would use it again in an instant. They were wonderful.

luvmygoats

YUP Shells exactly my experience on Palliative Care. Though I must admit that my medical director would defer if I could present a good case that I thought the patient was going to pass in 24 hours.

I sometimes felt I handled it too well, not emotional enough though that just probably is me.

But I will tell you that your job sets the tone for your company. Too bad the hospitals (and docs) are not doing their job in keeping families informed of hospice potential. I know your population demographics is not as homogeneous as mine so that has to play a part.

Yes trunk could oufit a small ER and NEVER went anywhere without a few bucks to my name. I know some nurses only traveled with their DL, debit card and insurance card but I carried my purse. Trunks are wonderful things.

You get overtime??? I only got paid extra for on-call time. Otherwise anything I got called on for during the day (read that right up until 5 pm) was just salaried time no matter what time of day it ended. Cannot tell you the # of 4 pm admits I got to do. Hah and they wanted all the paperwork done by MN. Didn't happen. Got enough in for billing. Many nurses just didn't answer their phone after 4:30 if it was the office.

Ducky - on my refrigerator is a magnet. "A clean house is the sign of a wasted life". I live it. There is always something better than cleaning house.

4sewwhat

Hospice was great with my neighbor also!

HA--my mom has threatened to call the health department! Sad thing is I don't ever remember the house being clean as a kid and I remember my grandmother telling my mother her house was a mess! Hers is clean now, but it is just 2 of them and they don't work or do much of anything. Mine would be clean if that was the case too! My kids are very happy though. DH gets horribly embarrassed and we don't entertain like we would like to. All in good time though!

4sewwhat

I SO need 2 of those magnets. One for me and one for my mother's Christmas Stocking!!!

luvmygoats

Quatre - LOL. Prompted by my dear sister in law (not the KY one). White glove house but I do love her because she loves my DB.

Chevyboy

Geez I'm sorry guys..... 4444444444.... for all that you are going through, and HAVE gone through! But look at you now! You have a great sense of humor, have made yourselves a happy home and life, and you are a GREAT friend! I think a lot of you.... and you really make me laugh.... So THERE!

My gal-friend just sent me this....

http://www.greatdanepro.com/Just%20Colors/index.htm

4sewwhat

Beautiful images and sentiments Chevy.

Thank you for the kind words as well I really don't feel like I have been through much though! I know so many people that have it SO much worse, cancer or just other shit. I just don't understand why people can't be tolerant of others, family or not! Who are we to judge. More people should just try to be helpful or just do nothing instead of being hurtful. Why does hurting someone else make people feel better themselves. Just makes no sense to me :0(

marywh

My house was always a mess when my kids were little. We were in business for ourselves and had very few free hours. Thankfully none of my kids friends parents were that judgemental (sp) and my kids and their friends sure didn't care...In fact our house was a favorite place to be, and we always had extra kids floating around. Now since Im retired (not by choice) Im better at keeping it clean and dh helps a lot too.

Di2012

Quatro-------->I know none of us need extra chit..."enuff is enuff!"

your "theme" today seems to be young men's cracks in the back!....no "dongs" in a thongs

I have a 95 year old mother who will not talk to me as my mentally ill sister/physically ill too(live with mom) told MOM that I wanted to put her in a nursing home (NEVER SAID THAT)....I have not seen my mom for over a year (then at my daughter house) since my sister tried to kill me a few years ago....I felt life leaving my body as she strangled me.....can't go through that chit again!

Shell--------> your job sounds tough....when you get licensed are you still going to do this line of work or you going to do family practice or something else?....the two ARNP I see are in the private practice of cosmetics and wellness, and I don't even see them but their Medical Assistant/Esthetician....one is so busy it take 3 full months to get in!

Hope your hubby gets the help he need from the VA....you don't need that extra stress! hugs!

Di

4sewwhat

Here you go Di, wouldn't want to leave anyone out!!!

Di2012

444444444444....!!!!!! OMG.......you must a stash of pics.....

Di2012

I need you ladies in my pocket tomorrow.....I am having a 6 hour surgery.....it is my choice.....in honor of "Turkey Day" I am giving up my gobbler neck and my jowls.....PS promises I won't look like Joan Rivers!

savgigi

I'm in your pocket, Di

4sewwhat

In your pocket Di!! I am trying to talk my PS into doing my eyelids. Not bad enough for ins to cover them yet and he doesn't do that for ins money anyhow because they pay so little for it. I even told him about an article where they were using eyelid skin to make new nipples!!! He didn't go for that either :0)

Good for you doing something for yourself!! And Joan isn't so bad just stay away from Phyllis Diller! Lol