The Hermit Club

grammaB

Oh Lily, I am so sorry this has happened to you.  No info here either as I opted for no recon, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  ((((gentle hugs))))

duckyb1

Meatballs are done........Lord I remember when I could do the wash, hang it out, clean a whole house while waiting for the washer to finish, and iron what came off the line, and that was just 2 years ago, while taking care of 2 grandkids while daughter worked, plus had a heart attack in 2007 and was back on my feet 2 days later....

Cancer beat the shit out of me......like today........make gravy, sit....clean a bathroom, sit....clean the next bathroom, sit.......make homemade shrimp salad, sit........give the hovel a lick and a promise, sit.......all done 1/2 ass.......

Thanks cancer, and Letrozole for turning a spunky broad into an old warn out old lady.......

Ok, I'm done

LaurieParr

Miss Camille, Thank you SO very much for your touching words and heart. I missed you.

Jazzy-thank you and hugs to you!

Dwill and Lilly, I too can relate to "the darkest hours" and not wanting to be here any more. It overtakes you and it is almost impossible to ignore. HOWEVER, Dwill is right...there is light ahead. You just have to take minute by minute until it comes again. I promise it is there. I don't know why we have to go through this, but I do believe it is for a reason. Please know that we are here for you.

Thanks to all that wrote me such nice messages! 

Love to you all!

Laurie

XOXOXOXO

LaurieParr

Baby Grant says "hello!"

Teka

Precious!

camillegal

Laurie tht's u'r Grandson? --it's all happened so fast...He's beautiful.

camillegal

Lily this is horrendous for u. It has not happened to me--but over time I have heard this a couple of times, in fact infection for a friend of mine happened so many times, while one time she thought it was all working out she ended up in the hospital with exactly what u are describing and wore a vacuum for a  bout 2-3 weeks to suck out the infection and ease the pain  at this point she is doing OK but took a lon g time to get things right. and another woman I know didn't have a vacuum but drains and suction and pain like mad. I don't know if it has anything to do with a compromised immune system or it doesn't seem to have a true or right answer. Most women go thru this and it's not to bad, I know it's some pain involvd but not like u'r having. So altho I hd no recon, so mine was so painless there are those that had really bad experiences going thru different types of recon. I know this doesn't ease anything in u'r mind cuz when u'r in pain it's like OMG I can't do another day, but it is happening to others too. Maybe something in u'r body is rejecting this IDK, They seem like they are taking good care of u (as much as they can) This does happen for some women and when my Dr. asked about recon (of course I'm older) I just no, cuz I figured if anything could happen it would probably be me. And I knew about this stuff. That doesn't mean u'r Dr. has seen this a lot, cuz he might not have, it's a low % but it does happen. That;'s all I know and I know it's dreadful I'm sorry u'r going thru this.

duckyb1

Laurie.....beautiful...aren't grandchildren wonderful...May your little baby raise you up..I have 18, and 3 great-grandaughter's, and not her coming in April.

Hugs and prayers..

Lily55

I am his first patient in 8 years to ever have this..................it is always me who gets complications.........it takes me so much to gear up for surgeries as I hate hospital and operations but I did it gracefully both times and now this...........its the daily humiliation of public exposure I hate too, no bloody sensitivity.....I can feel myself going down and OH is getting really tetchy too.........another crap Christmas thanks to crap cancer........

duckyb1

Lily......not your fault....cancer is ugly.....I went through the surgery, and a Rads unscathed.....the Letrozole hads turned my QOL into pure hell.........constant aches and pains every where, everyday, and the Lymphedema is horrible.......

I get out of a chair holding on and say....."thanks cancer...the gift that keeps on giving.....

Let's keep hoping and praying.....hugs...

grammaB

Laurie, he is absolutely adorable!! Congrats!

camillegal

Lily please don't give up on healing--u will heal--it's going to take u longer with more pain thn u deserve, but u will heal---I told u this is a low % of women who gets this and unfortunately u'r in that %. And that in itself sucks. Of course cancer is chit we all know that, u'd think once it got out of us we would be better, but it doesn't work that way all the time. This disease sometimes follows us like a stalker and it's always on our back--Like /Ducky said she's feels worse now and it's out of her than she did before--it doesn't make sense, it never did. I make jokes about my SE's but it is no joke with pain--I have my intestine growing up my side and pushing my liver over and pushing my ribs up--Gee is that normal --then I hear nope and the surgery is to dangerous for me and I'm in constant pain, then I have degenerative discs and vertebrae --well the list goes on and on--and I thought since I was in remission I was going to feel good, yea well that never happened all the Drs. I see and all the tests and procedures I go thru, I don't even talk about here much cuz that's sometimes all I do. Please, Please, Please don't take this wrong, I'm not saying to u OH well, I'm saying this is all crap and no one by now should have to go thru what u are going thru. Of course it's breaking u down mentally, it has to--this was not supposed to happen and it shouldn't have but it did. U have to fight with all of this with u'r mind, body and spirit and with the Dr.s u will be better, but the experience will always be there but hopefully fade. This is shattering to u and u'r family and u'r poor DH doesn't know what he can do for u, he hasn't a clue how he can make u feel better.No one knows how to help u--but u know and u have to give to u'r spirit for life and live for it and continue thru this horrendous web and u can and u will.I hope u can go deep inside and find that spirit and let it fill u'r heart and u'r mind will follow and u'r body will heal. U'r in my prayers Lily and healing (((HUGS))) are coming u'r way.

Jazzygirl

duckyb1

jazzy........just about how I feel right now

Spookiesmom

but..... but..... Where's his house??

Really cute Jazz. Good use for snow

Tomboy

Wow, lily55. jeezus christmas. i cant believe that happened to you, although i am glad that you felt ill enough to go to the emergency room. that certainly sounds like a life threatening infection that could have become systemic- so it sounds like you got there in plenty of time. And it sounds like next christmas had better be extremely event free. you must be incredibly hard to kill! do you realize that that is almost two cups-o-pus!?! jeez. so its ok if you lost the recon, YOU are still here.... and isnt it federal law that if you have mastectomy that you atomatically get reconstruction? i thought for sure that that was the case, regardless of ability to pay. And anyway, it sounds like someone fugged up if you were feeling that ill that immmediately. anyway, i am so sorry that it happened to you.

Tomboy

,,,,i miss everyone here. i have been exploring other places in bco, just finished my paint job barely, in time for my neighbors christmas party last night, and one more day to get everything else done to be ready for wednesday. i hope everyone has a safe, healthy, stress free loving holiday. all my hermits are the best women of all.

duckyb1

Hermits love ya back kathec.....

Jazzygirl

Lily- thinking of you here tonight and praying you will heal and feel better soon. You have been through so much and know you have shared the support system around you may not always be there in the ways you need them to be. But we are here and we care. 

I want to share a little glimpse about my life last year when I was in a place very close to where you are at right now. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then ended up with a ruptured appendix. All in the same week. I was convinced I was going to die, although I was not sure which one was gong to take me. More likely the ruptured appendix as I was close to becoming septic. I made it through and you will too. It just is going to take time and there are going to be more hard days. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get through this.

Laurie- thank you for sharing the beautiful picture of  baby Grant. Babies make the world a better place. I know you also have had a very rough time but hope holding that dear little boy in your arms makes you feel the good in life!

Kathyec- welcome back! Fun to explore other threads here. 

Wishing my hermits a peaceful Eve before Christmas Eve. 

duckyb1

Let us all hope and pray for a fabulous 2014.......My Christmas Wish....

Furfriend2

Lily55,

I am so sorry for your pain as I could feel your sadness while reading. I don't have any information to share on recon I am sure someone here on BC org will be able to help with what you are going through.

Teka

My favorite A. A. Milne quote------------

" 'Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'   'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh.   After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this."

I find more thanon the threads!

I lurk on all the threads.

grammaB

Jazzy, great Snoopy!!  Wow, you had a tough time too!  I am so sorry to hear that.  You are so right, when things get that tough we just have to slog through it one step at a time, one day at a time, and eventually we are on the other side.

Hi kathec, good to see you again.  I lurk on a lot of other threads around here too.  So much to be learned from everyone's experiences.

As far as the law, I think what it says is that ins companies have to cover recon to make you symmetrical, not that you have to have recon.  In my case I opted not to do any recon and because of the law my ins had to cover the prophylactic removal of my left breast for symmetry.

Hope all my hermit friends have a great Christmas!

Hugs

Tomboy

hi grammaB! yes, i dont really know, i just thought they would, i thought i read it somewhere. but it seems like after she was better, they would take care of her. it wasnt her fault at all, and seems like it happened really too quickly. when i had my port inserted, i hadnt been home more than 10 minutes before my lung collapsed. they asked me what i did?!? wtf? went to fridge , opened door? not my fault, not her fault. it happens but she could have died. and she lost both, it sounds like. what a shame after all she has been through. i mean all of us have in our different ways, but that just made me shudder to hear!!! and like cami, i love horror movies and am not squeamish! love

Lily55

thank you for your support, i am not in the US so every bit of recon has to be paid for by me in advance.......now i am worse off than ever before physically and financially, thousands of euros wasted.....and i am not well off, have two mortgages etc......

duckyb1

Lily so sorry........

Teka

Done with f'n X-mas shopping.

grammaB

I agree with you kathec, that infection came from something that was or wasn't done during sx.  They should be responsible for at least getting her back to where she was before or better.  None of it was her fault.

Oh dear Lily, I am so sorry that you have to bear all the financial burden on top of the physical and emotional aspects of all this.

Yay Teka!!  

Happy Christmas Eve to all!

Hugs!

Furfriend2

Here's to a F'n Fabulous 2014!!!! LOL Teka

Hugs & Holiday Cheer to each of you!!!

duckyb1

and you....