Starting Chemo July 2012

cvmarilyn

Hi - Susan I wish you the best of all possible outcomes tomorrow. God bless you.

Anyone experienceing pain in their thighs?  It is pretty extreme - especially at night. The doctor related it to steroids - called it steroid myopathy. But I looked that up and it is muscle weakness - not what I am experiencing - it is pain.... anyway, please let me know.

Take care EVRYONE ~

CVM

Itsalltemporary

Susan - sending hugs and strength your way. Good luck tomorrow. We will be thinking of you.

Maddie57 - can completely related to the body temperature issue! I get cold too fast and can't seem to cool down when I get hot. Wasn't sure if the heat is due to menopause or the general imbalance of my body.

And have I told you ladies that I feel connected to all of you?! Even though I check onto the winter rads string on a regular basis, this group feels like "home" for me. Started the journey with all of you.

_Ann_

Hi everyone.  Susan, wishing you well tomorrow.  Maddie57, yes my internal thermostat has been broken for a while.  My understanding is that it's due to the sudden menopause.  I'm finding warm scarves really useful for quickly regulating temperature, indoors and out.

Well tomorrow I will be able to schedule my final MRI and my surgery (lumpectomy).  Yay!  I was waiting on insurance auth and notification from the MO about what date she wanted for my MRI.  I get so annoyed waiting on calls, but it finally came together today.  Surgery will be near end of January.  It's feeling like the end is in sight!

mamabr

Thinking of you Susan - everyone is going to take good care of you!!! 

I am right there with the body temperature pogo stick - up and down, up and down. I am either freezing or sweating. I'm hoping some of the heat strokes will go away when the chemicals get out of my body.

Tomorrow is my last chemo. I'll also get a break until the end of January. Everyone says I'll feel a lot better soon, I sure hope so. I still feel like crawling in a hole. 

"It's the most wonderful time of the year.............." - bahh humbug

mamabr

oh - and my damn tree fell down today....i just stepped over it and went to my room. 

Maddie57

Hi Ann- we will be having surgery about the same time. I will be having my exchange. We will have to compare notes!!

mamabr - is this your last chemo ever or do you start chemo again in Jan? Loved your story about the Christmas tree. They do have a habit of toppling over don't they.

cvmarilyn - are you still on chemo? I did get a burning pains in my thighs whilst on chemo -especially if I went upstairs, but your pain doesn't sound like that. If it is a similar Tax effect it will ease off once you are about 7weeks post final chemo.

itsall tempo- I also feel connected to you all, and found a poem which says it all-

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
 
many miles are
 
between you. A girl friend is never farther away
 
than  needing her can reach.
 
 
When you have to walk that  lonesome valley and you
 
have to walk it by  yourself, the women in your life
 
will  be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
 
praying  for you, pulling for you, intervening on
 
your  behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
 
valley's end.
 
 
Sometimes, they will even  break the rules and walk
 
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
 
 


 

 
 

melanieb

Hi Emily,

Glad to hear that your surgery went well.  It sounds a lot better than what we have already been throught.  Hope your recovery goes smoothly too.

stride

Maddie, that's a nice poem.

Mamabr, congrats on last chemo!

Ann, glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Regarding thermostat: hell, yes. I wake up at night from the heat, then get cold, then hot, then cold. It's gotten so bad I have not been able to get a decent night's sleep. I hope it ends soon.

mamabr

This was last chemo. My counts were down, but they went ahead with the chemo. I'll just have to be a little more careful to not pick up a germ. No more chemo for me, just re-reconstruction, probably in Feb. - they want me to give me at least 8 weeks to get my strenghth back enough for another surgery. Also, no rads for me. 

Super tired this afternoon and tonight, but now I am kind of awake. I'll probably take a little helper so that I can have a full night's sleep. Susan must be all finished and recovering tonight. Hope she gets some extra attention in the hospital since she is a nurse. They probably take good care of her. 

Ann, hope you have your MRI and surgery planned.

Night all......

Maddie57

mamabr - congratulations!!!!! Last one- be extra careful, you don't want to get sick over Christmas.

Marilyn - how did it go with your hair extensions? Would they do them seeing as you had just finished chemo.

Stride - great to hear from you - are you healing well after your surgery?

Susan - if you have access to a computer - hope your surgery all went well and the pathology report was better than you thought. Know we are all thinking of you and rooting for you.

PinkyWI

I haven't been posting at all but I do read daily.  So happy for everyone as they propgress through their plan and hopeing for successful results.

I, myself, am SO excited today, and a bit emotional because today is my last chemo treatment.  Started with 4 DD AC treatments on July 26th, then went to 12 weekly Taxol treatments with today being the last one.  Now I probably jinxed myself by posting this before labs are drawn at 1pm.    My husband has taken me to every treatment and doctor appointment but my 23 year old son wanted to take me today.  This is a huge step for him!

cvmarilyn

Maddie - love that poem - thank you for sharing   Were you talking to me about hair extensions??? I don't have them - maybe I should

Maddie57

Hi cv marilyn - no I was not talking about you re the hair extensions. There is a Madelyn on our thread, and she was talking about hair extensions.  Glad you liked the poem - I really liked it especially the line at the end about carrying you out. It brought tears to my eyes- must be the hormones!

Pinky Wi - congratulations on your last chemo. It is a great feeling!! How woderful that your son is taking you - how mature of him. He sounds lovely!!

Stride - I'm with you about wishing the broken thermostat mends soon. It does not make for a good nights sleep. If I even turn over at night, and my head hits a cool part of the pillow it sets me off shivering, and 5 mins later sweating. I thought it would be better by now - seems to be taking a long time to come right

Madelyn

Hey Everyone...

I hope everyone is doing well.  I finished ACT on Nov. 20th and started rad Dec. 10th.  Bronchitis postponed rads for a week.  So far rads are okay.  It seems like they are always runing behind, my 11:45 appt turns into a 12:20.  Oh well.  I use Miaderm lotion during the day and Aquaphor at night since it is so "greasy."

I am the one who was talking about extensions.  I have a big family wedding in NY in May and I would love to treat myself to the extensions.  The hair stylist said I need 4 inches to make this happen. I live in Virginia and luckily there was a "great lengths" salon near me. Great lengths is the manufacturer of the extensions I'm interested in.  I have about inch now...hair is doing well but eyelashes/eyebrows are still non-existent.  

Now if I could just get rid of this steroid bloat/weight gain....

The poem put everything in perspective, thanks for sharing!  

PinkyWI

DONE WITH CHEMO!! Yay!  As you can well guess, the steroids have kicked in and I am sleepless.  I guess I should be putting the lights on the Christmas tree. 

Thanks Maddie57 for the encouragment and kind words about my son.  He was a trooper, took very good care of me.  Even insisted that he roll me out in a wheel chair which I think was a suggestion from his father.    After the last two infustions, I walk out like a drunken sailor -- seem to stagger/wobble due to weak legs.  The walk from the Day Hospital to the parking structure is a long one so on our way out, there was a wheel chair in the hall way so he grabbed it and nicely said to get in and he would give me a ride.  I did not argue -- this time. 

I did have mixed emotions about ending chemo but now that I am done, I am looking forward (say it isn't so!) to rads.  I guess having a next step in my treatment plan is helping with my mixed emotions about ending active treatment. 

Wishing each and every one of you an end to your treatment and that it is successful with minimal SE's.

SusanHG123

Surgery over--and according to surgeon and staff when very well. Thank you for all the kind words. And--I love the poem. I know I have been carried more than I carry...

Minimal incision paln due to the very nice pain pump ball. Drain working well. Still having nasty bone pain--guess residual from Taxol.

Surgeon wants to remove my left breast by no later than summer. Said not worth the risk now. I have had too many SEs and complications from chemo. She has an appointment set for me to meet with a plastic surgeon in early April to discuss reconstruction. Told her at this point--really not interested in signing a paper to add pain--any pain to my life. I do want my left breast removed--will decrease fear. That one would have a belly flap reconstruction but right would require a TE. May change my mind--but right now have a couple friends knitting Knitted Knockers for me and to donate to our cancer center. 

Love to each

emilybrooke

Susan - I am happy to hear that surgery went well. I've been thinking about you this week!

Maddie - love the poem, it made me cry, good tears though

Congrats Mamabr and Pinky !

I have beenachey from the exchange surgery but far more comfortable than the previous surgery. In fact, I am down from 4  to two pain pills each day. I am waiting to hear if I can take advil or motrin instead of tylenol. My armpits are a bit sore from the drain placement but luckily they are scheduled to be removed on Tuesday afternoon. I am by far more exhausted after this surgery but the dr. said this would happen because I only finished chemo 6 weeks ago and my body os still healing from that.

My internal thermostat seemed to settle down for a few nights post-surgery but was back in full furnace effect last night - covers on, covers off, etc. The hair on my head seems to have had a growth spurt this week too. I look forward to starting biotin next week - my doctor kept me off of all vitamins pre-surgery. My eyebrows are starting to show some sign of regrowth but no progress on my spotty eyelashes. It will  come with time.  

_Ann_

Mamabr, Pinky, and Susan-- congratulations!

I got some good news yesterday.  Despite missing Taxol #10 due to low counts, MO did not order a make-up infusion.  So I will be done next Thursday as planned!  Next hurdle is to get surgery scheduled.  I got my final MRI scheduled, which I *thought* meant I could schedule surgery, but now getting some conflicting stories from surgeon's office staff compared to what I understood from talking to surgeon.  MO told me to keep on it, so I will call again today to inform them of the change of my last chemo date and get clarification on their scheduling procedure.

Finally, I have just said eff it, I'm not wearing hats anymore!  I have a good bit of shadow going from growth during Taxol.  I've been to the grocery store, the library, the clinic, with only a few double-takes.  It's patchiest in the back, but I figure if people are looking at that, I can't see them.  My MO rubbed my fuzzy head and said "oh, you've got some hair growth on Taxol!"  I've actually had a lot more strangers sponaeously talk to me than I ever had while wearing the hats.   I think I must look more approachable.

virginiab

Madelyn--

In regard to brows and lashes -- I finished chemo exactly 2 months ahead of you and my lashes are now full (but short), so you should have lovely lashes for that wedding.

In early November I ordered Wunderbrow from Soft Surroundings to make some simulation of eyebrows. Their shipping was delayed and when I got the package this week, I just packaged it up to return it. It's too late--my brows are back. I have sufficient eyebrows to color with powder shadow or one of those mascara-like brow wands. Mostly I have been using a lip brush to brush some eye shadow into my brows. I bought one of those palettes of 100 eye shadow colors for $10 at Walgreens and found some great colors in there for my pale brows.

If you need 4" for hair extensions, I think you should develop a Plan B of an adorable short hairstyle, because it's not a sure thing that you will have 4" in time for the wedding....

Madelyn

Hey Virginiab-I think you're right a plan B can never hurt.  Thanks for giving me a reference when the eye lashes and brows will be coming in.  I have been toying with the idea of changing my pic to the pigeon hair look I have now...

So hard to concentate on anything but that town in Connecticut tonight...what a senseless tragedy...I would take breast cancer 1000xa day to have my kids safe....prayers and hugs to all

SusanHG123

So agree with Madelyn. Told a friend a bit ago--the moms/dads/families in Connecticut make me ashamed of whining about Mega Mass and my trials with SEs. My children are alive and well and happy and safe. 

Love and hugs to each. Hold your babies close--babies or full-grown haired over adults. Still are our babies.

natL12

Susan  congratulations on making it through surgery and getting back to us who were thinking about you.  I feel fortunate that I had the surgery first, before the chemo and all its SEs.  And I'm not having any reconstruction because of the danger to me for a stroke.  Simce it's not an option, I just put the possibility out of mind...but I'll admit, I wouldn't want to have to think about more surgery pain.

mamabr I refuse to pay attention any more to people who tell me I will feel a lot better by...whatever time/date they specify!  Because, if I don't, I think it's my fault!  Made the mistake of believeing them after my heart surgery.  Can't tell you how many people said "after 6 months".  Well, after 6 months, i still wasn't ready to do a half-marathon, and i just BEAT UP on myself.  It turns our that it took me 9 months, and then I was ready.  So, when they tell you that you'll feel much better...just wait for your own body to tell you it's feeling better.

Guess I'm on a soapbox about that!  I'm 6 weeks post chemo, and some days are good, some bad, and none of them as good as I would like.  Before I get up each morning, I plan what I would like to accomplish that day, and get maybe half of them done.  Of course, I also have the excuse of 2 hours of driving to get radiation done.  But still, the high energy level I used to have is not back yet.

_Ann_

I have a question for all the chemo veterans.  Did anyone feel a bit sad or scared for chemo to end?  I thought I'd feel like celebrating, but I find myself dreading the last round.  I guess I'm scared the cancer will start growing, or maybe I'll just miss the routine of it.  Wasn't expecting this reaction.

PinkyWI

Ann, I finished chemo this past Thursday and am experiencing the same feelings as you.  Counted down the treatments the WHAM!  I have been experiencing feelings of doom and gloom for about two months and thought it was that but not so sure.  I, myself, need to kick me in the a$$ to get over the gloom and doom feelings.  I see my RO tomorrow so hopefully that will help.

Good luck getting past this emotional time.

mamabr

Ann and PinkyWI, I felt the same as I ended chemo. Many heartfelt wishes came in on my last day, which was great, but for me it felt more like being unshackled, but still not free. I am super tired. My counts were low on the last day and they didn't want to postpone, so I'm probably a little weaker than a usual weekend after treatment. 

Thanks for the kind words NatL12. I am definitely going to take my time, one day at a time. 

Thinking of you Susan, hope the meds are helping you to rest.

Hope you all have a peaceful Sunday evening.

SusanHG123

CLEAR MARGINS!!!! Path report today. 23 nodes. 5 were fibrotic (knew I had 3 positive going in) but all clear as of today's report! Will restart Taxol 9 January and finish the 5 remaining. Restart Herceptin for the year to finish next November. Radiation after Taxol. Have to repeat PET in March because of something funky on my liver (MO and I both agree is vascular). Will do the left breast before summer. Pain pump ball out today. Drain still in and draining away. Have an appointment with an OT who is certified as a lymphedema specialist and for a sleeve fitting in early January. And an appointment to discuss (and gag) at the mastectomy bra's. Am pretty sure will stay with my Victoria's Secret and Knitted Knockers. 

What a relief! If I had energy would skip!

PinkyWI

Great new, Susan!  Heal well...

Madelyn

Susan- what great news, I am thrilled for you!  Congratulations!  

Pinky and Ann- Yes, there is a sadness that comes with the end of chemo.  I think we spend so much time trying to get to the end by counting down the days and when we get there--it's a "mixed bag" of emotions.  Maybe there is a sense of security being seen by the MO every week.  And then we don't have those weekly appointments anymore and it is a weird "flying the nest" feeling.  Whatever the reason, a lot of us feel it too.

 I loved my chemo nurses BUT the radiation nurses just seem so "rigid"-I hate to say this I'm sure they are wonderful people and I just need to get to know them better!  My radiation office is so sterile --it is not very welcoming at all.  I'm sure it's because you go from knowing everyone in the MO office to a whole bunch of new faces.  Today will be my 6th treatment.  

Love and hugs..

mssunshine71

Susan - Congrats!  Finally some great news for you!

I finished my last chemo on the 13th.  Had a consult with my radiation onc. today followed by my daughters Christmas Concert

I found out I am not a BRCA gene carrier and my liver MRI was clear!  I will be having a double mastectomy so I will not be needing radiation.  Just have to wait for a date for surgery consults to find out when the surgery will take place.  Decided to go with immed. recon.  All in all some great news and a major hurdle completed!

Taxol has been very difficult.  My strength and taste never came back the last round and the pain was still pretty bad.  I'm so glad it's finished!!  Christmas will be at my place this year on the 22nd (crazy I know) but we are doing a nontraditional potluck.  Everyone is bringing a snack and a slowcooker of something.  Way less stress and completely laid back.  So looking forward to the holidays with family.  If only I could taste something other than this horrible, unexplainable taste in my mouth!

Hope everyone gets completely spoiled this Holiday!

emilybrooke

Susan - Congrats, this is great news!

I agree with Madelyn there is a sadness that comes with ending chemo. Sadly, it becomes such a "normal" part of our routine that you worry once it is over. I finished on 10/31 and the feelings lasted until after my 11/26 Herceptin treatment. I went for Herceptin again on 12/17 and as I sat there I got a little emotional thinking about how far I (and we) have come. I just so happened to get the same chair that I had for the first round of AC (in July) and I think that had something to do with the emotions. Again, it reminded me of how strong we all are and how I could not have gotten this far without all of the support each of you have provided.

mss very happy to hear that you are BRCA negative and that the MRI came back clear. You certainly have alot to celebrate!

I had my surgical drains removed yesterday - YAY - I feel liberated! Now I must wear a supportive surgical bra (oh so sexy) for 24/7 over the next six weeks. Took my first look (straight on in the mirror) yesterday. Still swollen but looking okay - for what they are.