2012 sisters

juneaubugg

Jessfili; here here.... Mrscich.... I was reminded by a friend with BC that all these decisions are very personal ones and nobody has any rights in your choices, not even a spouse. Its your body that this is happening to. Just say, I appreciate your upset as well because you love me, but you are actually causing me more stress, so please, unless I ask for it, don't give me your opinion. OR just tell them to fuck off and when its happening to them they can go doctor shopping.... Add long as YOU are comfortable.



Websister; yes, my next treatment is the 31st, Friday. my husband buzzed my hair... Don't think I'd want to pay someone for a buzz cut. And I agree about the port; it is getting less sensitive, but still hits all the things you mentioned.



Goodnight ladies. Nothing to rant about today.

bevg49

juneau, i just love your attitude. Either politely tell them you appreciate their concern or tell them to fuck off hahaha.....Quite a range there....Your new cut looks fabulous!

juneaubugg

Bev, LOL! Guess it depends what mood they catch me in. :-o

Moonflwr912

When I bought my wig, the shop said when my hair fell out, they would buzz it for me and then fit the wig to my head. And they did a great job. She took almost an hour to cut and sew the wig so it fit right for me.

firestorm531

Bwaaahaahaahaaaa  Love the range in responses!  Being of a Sicilian heritage, I'm sure you can imagine what my #1 response is!  Luckily I only had one person who kept going down that road and once I did the whole raised eye brow and said 'Really?!?!?!?' it stopped

My local wig shopped annoyed me this weekend...she charges crazy amounts for even the simplest of beanies and then tries to state that she realizes how expensive it is to have cancer and that its why she charges such 'reasonable' rates for her products...while driving her Bentley around town!  Oh puhlease!  I think its time I took up my crochet hook and made my own ;-)

Happy Monday to all!  Its the first day of the new school year here and I'm quite happy to send my teen-sloth out the door! 

MrsCich

Thank you ladies for your input. Frankly, your input is all I care to hear. Lol. Juneau, I like your second option best!!!!! ☺

jpmomof3

Mrscich, I had a lot of people say a lot of dumb things to me especially at the beginning. It's hard to stay nice to them sometimes. They are trying to be helpful in their insensitive way. Most people have no idea how to talk to cancer patients if they haven't been through it. Hopefully you can find someway to deal with them because there will no doubt be more. Whether its humor, patience or telling to shut the hell up...



Having those cords pop sounds painful. I am stretching it several times a day. I still feel a mass in my armpit that is still probably a seroma. Not big enough to bother with according to the surgeon though.



Ramols, glad you found a nanny so fast. Hope this one works out better.



Off to do a million little things! Have a great day ladies.

Tazzy

Oh! the dumb things people say... we could write a book on it eh?   If you haven't already check out the thread about the dumb/stupid things people say to you - really good for a giggle.

Happy Ramols you have found a nanny... and enjoy the house to yourself.

Although I wont respond to you all I am thinking of you all and wishing you nothing but happiness and sunshine in your days.

Like jpmom.... I am off now to do a million things and looking forward to each and everyone one of them... I love getting normality back into my life.

juneaubugg

JPmom; LOVE the new picture. 

I'm off to take a friend to a CODA meeting. (Codependents anonymous).  She's a hot mess - hopefully this will help her.

Feelling so good this week - dreading next tx on Friday, but at least I'll be half way through it; and two txs and an exchange from being DONE with all my treatments (hopefully).

 Love you all!

Moonflwr912

JB, just keep that thought.....

Anonymous

Sorry to be the debbie downer again but f'ing cancer is pissing me off. I feel so helpless and useless in my own home. Since I'm radioactive after my muga scan - no kiddie care for me tonight. And as if we didn't have enough crap going on - our cesspool backed up on us today and flooded our basement some with waste water. So my husband is down there tearing out carpets and walls and won't let me help him - since I start chemo tomorrow and he doesn't want me exposed to anything. A very sweet sentiment - but I hate having all the work dumped on him. Thank goodness for my mother-in-law, who is handling the kids tonight while me and my radioactivity hide out upstairs. And the control freak in me is having a hard time digesting the fact that I have no idea what my children did for the 9 hours they were out of my house and at day care today. I realize they are alive and well and so I should let go of it - but for some reason I can't. Ah - the lessons cancer throws at you... And I won't even get started on work - where I feel like I am not keeping up and dumping things on my colleagues that I just can't seem to get to or focus on. Sigh... I know I should take my sister's advice and just go enjoy a quiet evening of reading and tv to myself before chemo starts tomorrow - but I find it so hard to just relax... Where can I root out my happy for the day today... Hopefully you are all having a good day.

liefie

Hi everybody,

 Happy to report that I'm back from San Diego, and no lymphedema thanks to the wonderful advice of Binney on the lymphedema website. It sucks that I will have to be so vigilant every time I fly somewhere, but prevention is better than cure. Had such a good time, no real beach weather, but there are so many other things to do and see. Saw the polar bears in the zoo - man, up close those things are absolutely HUMONGOUS! They look so cute in photos, but you won't want to run into one of those. Friday night attended an open air concert by the downtown marina where a seven-man rock band played the music of the Eagles with the San Diego Symphony . . . that fantastic guitar solo at the end of 'Hotel California' is still ringing in my ears! Everybody sat on the grass at small tables, and one could order meals and drinks there. We met a lovely couple from San Diego who shared our table. What a nice experience.

Flying back yesterday, I was first told by the gate attendant that my (very,very short!) hair is very attractive. Seconds later stepping onto the plane the air hostess said that my hair was adorable. They obviously meant it well, but I certainly feel far from attractive or adorable. Maybe that's why I feel these remarks are dumb, and people should maybe just keep quiet? Or maybe I'm just being nasty. It was certainly amusing to watch the reaction of the different border agents every time my passport had to be checked, because I look nothing at all like that photo, but they were all too uncomfortable/polite/embarrassed/whatever to ask or say anything, and we cleared the borders really quickly each time . . LOL!

Cannot respond to everybody, but to those who shaved off their hair, it feels better, doesn't it?

To those doing chemo, hang in there. It sucks, but it will pass. Be good to yourselves!

Tazzy and Ellendou, rads are okay. I had 25 rads, and in comparison to chemo it was a breeze for me. I only used aloe vera gel (non alcohol) and Lubriderm Intense Dry Skin Repair. The gel I took with me to rads, and applied it liberally immediately afterwards before I got dressed, as well as a few hours later. It has a cooling, calming effect. The Lubriderm I put on at night and in the morning, and sometimes during the day too. (Still use it every day.) Never had a problem, just some redness and itchiness towards the end which an over-the-counter hydrocortizone cream took care of. The Island isn't really that bad weatherwise, you guys. It only rains non-stop in winter - LOL!Ellendou, I lived in Alberta before, and my children are still living there. I'll be honest, I do miss the sun, okay? 

Best wishes to all the newcomers too. Can't believe there are so many. What's going on?

Isabelle2

juneau..I am still laughing at your reponse...You, firestorm & jpmom all look terrific with your buzz cuts...I could never look that good.   I have a forehead that goes on forever.

Have to post a picture of my 8 year old grandaughter Lacey.   She donated 13`of her beautiful hair to Kids with Cancer & I am so proud of her.

liefie

Awwww, Ramols, big hugs to you! Tomorrow night you wil be one day closer to the end of this ordeal. Sending positive thought and good wishes your way. 

websister

Sending hugs, Ramols - it would be nice to catch a break, eh? I will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow, hope you have found something enjoyable and relaxing to do with your evening.



Liefie - I am so glad that you had a good time in San Diego and made it there and back without any lymph edema problems.



MrsCich - I know what you mean about people, I liked the responses provided by the ladies. I was also given much unsolicited advice on alternative therapies.



Isabelle2 - what a nice thing for your grand-daughter to do, she looks really cute and the hair donated was beautiful.



Firestorm - there's a website that sells very nice headwear called Headcovers Unlimited, I heard about it on this website. I ordered a couple of baseball style caps last Thursday and they were delivered on Friday by noon, I didn't ask for that rapid of service but got it and the shipping wasn't too bad. I think that PlanetBuff also has free shipping and the prices were OK. The crochet hook could help pass the time in the BGC. My teen sloth (love that term) heads off to school tomorrow a.m.

GiGiof2

I had a 27 oncotype score,no node involvement with clear margins.  The MO suggested 4 rounds of TC and then the radiology.  I didn't want to do it, but didn't want to regret it later.  My second chemo round will be Sept. 5.  I'm using elasto gel caps to try and keep my hair since I can't stand to wear hats, headbands, anything else on my head.  So far, I haven't had any hair shedding, but it's early days yet...12 days out of first chemo. I teach 5 yr. old Kindergarten and haven't had to miss any school so far. I've been very lucky with the SE.  Good luck with whatever you decide.  This whole cancer thing is a real education...one I didn't really want to learn....but, oh well.

positive thoughts to all:)

mcook301

Hi ladies.



Day one wo oxy for pain but might need to sleep because I think I might have over done it a bit today:)



So my doctor calls me last night and tells me all the tissue and lymph nodes removed (22 of them) showed no traces of cancer? I don't know if I am I am an idiot but I listened and said ok ....and now I have questions about surgery items? I guess either this did not sink in or I am not sure what this means? Does this mean I should cry and celebrate? Does this mean my cancer is not hiding any where else? Why can't I be happy about this news? Maybe because although no cancer is detected now I have just had my life ripped apart and it seems it will never ever be the same and it won't. I believe things happen for a reason but today I am so fucking pussed off that I and others have to go through this while others get to go to work, have normal natural breast, go on vacations, not pay their vacation or life savings for cancer treatments. Don't get me wrong I know I am blessed to get these results but I was like f off I did all the work here it is me who made these results happen! It was me who got up every day to get to chemo or some other dam appointment. I am also thinking if I get to happy about this tomorrow they will find it some where else. Am I wrong here help me because everyone else I tell this too is like so you beat cancer awesome! I don't feel it yet. I just can't celebrate today maybe tomorrow after I see my doctor in person.



Thanks for letting me vent and cry! Please someone call me out if I am being a little crazy here:) I feel a little insane lately!

MrsCich

Well my BMX with TE placement has been postponed until Friday. A two day postponement is way better than a week or two. ☺ I have to admit however, doing my post-op procedures was very unsettling. It made it all very real. I guess since I don't feel "sick," it's hard to think I really am. Ya know?



Since I'm a candidate for NSMX I decided to take that route. I've confirmed with my PS that if they don't "stick" or I don't like them, I can always have some made. So if there are any positives in my situation I guess this would be one...I suppose.

Aruba

mcook-- you have just had surgery a few days ago and are in the middle of treatment to fight this ugly monster.  This is much a mental fight as well as a physical one in my opinion.  I am so happy to hear the news on the nodes and you will be too but our lives have been turned upside down and it is not fair that we have to live this battle each day.  We keep hearing that it will get easier with time and perhaps that is true, but for going through the day to day of waiting, treatments, SE's and being plain scared is our current reality and it sucks!  Know that you are very normal, not crazy, not insane but human!  Know that you have a bunch of sisters right here that hear you, get you and care!  We are here for you and will be. 

Get some rest and hope you feel this from all your sisters right here...

Anonymous

Thanks, ladies. We actually got some help with the basement thanks to insurance - and I am staying out of it and letting my husband run the show. I just did a bit of directing in terms of what things need to be accessible and what can get stashed away for the next few weeks as it all gets sorted out. Thankfully our basement is just storage and not living space at the moment. And I guess the best news is that this stuff was all a great distraction. I've barely thought about the fact that tomorrow morning I have my first date with the BGC. And liefie - your words are true and I will take them with me: one step closer to the end once tomorrow is over.

Isabelle - what a wonderful and beautiful granddaughter you have. Your note and pics of her made me tear up. I hope I raise my boys to be as socially concious and giving!

Mcook - rant away my dear. There are so many things to be angry and confused about with BC. I am technically cancer free according to my surgeon - yet, I'm about to let them poison my body for 4 months and then burn it up for another 6 weeks. What can you do? Just come here and share your feelings and we'll send you super big virtual hugs. Rest up and treat yourself to relalxation while you recoup. Getting all those nodes out is a bitch and you should baby that arm. Take it from one who has been there - I had 36 removed in my left arm... Feel good!

Mrscich - good luck as you wait out your extended wait. It does start to feel more real when you start with all the pre-op tests. But just remember - surgery is the "cancer out party" Rest up!

As for me - not sure I found me my happy today, but I might have been reminded that one of the lessons to be learned in this whole journey is to not sweat the small stuff. It is very cliche - but very true. And I plan to try to apply it more in my life and let go of control a bit. Aruba - I think your signature quote speaks to that. All I can do is adjust my sails to work with the wind being blown my way. Now if only I can keep that attitude up all the time! Anyhoo... Off to treat myself to a wee bit of xanax and see if I can get some sleep before my date with the BGC tomorrow. Big giant hugs and love to all of you lovely ladies. Feel good and sleep well!

Aruba

Ramols, I just caught up on all the posts from earlier in the day...boy about your basement..that stinks ..literally too.  You are blessed to have such a support system to take care of the kids, the basement  and most important you.  That hug above is for you too.  I hope you have as easy a time as possible tomorrow..  we are in your pocket.   Hugs to you and all the rest of the gals on here..we will get through this..together.  Hugs..

Moonflwr912

Oh, so much going in, if I miss you ill catch up soon. Ramols, sorry its been rough for you. It has to get better. Isabelle, your GD is beautiful, with long oft short hair, and a sweetie for doing that. Mc, rant away, we've all been there. MrsChich, glad you made a decision.

liefie

Mcook, if you can't sleep, take something to help you get some rest. This is very confusing, and your head must be spinning. Make like Scarlett O'Hara and decide that you will think about it tomorrow. Chances are you will feel better then. Hope your dr can clear everything up for you tomorrow. Let us know what he says. Big hugs to you!

Isabelle, your granddaughter is a sweetie-pie for donating her hair. Good for her!

emerald0320

Hi! I'm going g to be starting chemo tomorrow and I noticed you are using same chemo meds I will be using and was wondering about side effects,, are they really bad? I'm nervous.

juneaubugg

Emerald, check out the August 2012 chemo thread.



http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topic/790539

or the information provided by the moderators first. Its really useful.
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topic/785189

Dx 5/18/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy TamoxifenSurgery 06/26/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)Chemotherapy 08/10/2012 Adriamycin, Cytoxan

Moonflwr912

Emerald, welcome, and sorry you have to be here. Juneaubug gave you some homework, it helps. I sent you a pm. Much love

mcook301

Hello



So I am doing much better today so thanks for letting me vent! Saw ps today and got one drain removed ...man that was weird! Did not hurt like I thought it would but could fill it coming out. So I am so ok w TE and how they look although not my real Tatas but I was only a 36 b and never concerned about size of my breast so maybe this is easier? I was so afraid how I would feel after surgery but in hospital when they first took off my bra thing they placed me in I did not look but my sister, mom and bf was there and they all said later they were expecting much worse and so was I. Surgery took about five hours and by that morning I was so ready to get it over with I was not even nervous or sad at that point. I decided after reading everyone's post on here that I would be fine and I would make it through it with flying colors and so far I have ...knock on plastic:)



I want to respond to everyone by name but it is hard for me because I am typing on IPAD so hard to scroll up and down to capture.



I was pretty tired today after doc appointment so I just kicked my mom out for a few days because she is pretty exhausted as well. Who the heck would think at age 42 I would have to ask my mom to help me shower or dress me etc. LOL that was almost a train wreck cuz we are both so dam impatient.



I pray the other tubes come out by end of the week! But probably be next week those are the worst of the whole surgery thing so far for me for the most part. not horrible but big pain in the ass! I seriously think moving around helps me to keep healing and resting when needed of course.



Those going through chemo or starting - Big hugs! It is hard but you can do it! I seriously recommend talking with a therapist if you are like me and can't calm down or have a lot of anxiety about unknowns. It has helped me so much during these times to just talk to someone who has dealt with cancer survivors and knows how are minds are going in so many different directions. My doctor referred me to one at the hospital so she was also able to communicate a little w my team on my support needs as far as how to respond to me or give me lots of information before changing the game on me because I would freak out if they did not explain thing before they occurred.



Chemo- I look back on that now and remember the fears all you are having but I promise you will get through that and forget about the bad days! Drink lots of water and use lots of lotion o. Skin nails etc eat ice cream:) keep a journal with your daily side effects because you will forget how your felt week one and bf your next treatment. Call and ask questions if something doesn't feel right. Try and walk a little each day as it helped me to feel better and handle fatigue. I took a multi vitamin daily and try to include spinach in smoothies to help with Iron. I was lucky because my counts stayed pretty good but trending down after each treatment. I worked through chemo but not as much as I did bf the start but it was nice to think about something else beside Bc and chemo but there were a lot of days I laid on my sofa and vegged. Stock up on stool softner, Pepcid, over the counter pain Meds. Tums and prilosec helped to because I got a lot of heartburn. I had some allegeric reaction to taxol so I took benedryl or clartin bf and after those treatments and that helped with itches eyes and throat. During ac infusion sucking on ice or candy helped w metal taste. Boxes of klennex because ac makes your nose and eye run! Also you lose your nose hairs so that makes your nose run constantly. Hang in there it all passes but be strong and put up those fighting gloves and get that shit marked off as done! Food taste weird so for me it was shakes, soup and mash potatoes week one after ac treatments but by week two could eat a little more food. Also rinse month w baking soda salt combo during ac to help with mouth sores.



Hope that helps for some of you starting chemo treatments also have a hair cutting party with friends and wine:) That was the hardest part for me at first but once I did it I was ok with it. Not perfect but I was bald because I was trying to save my life!



Loves of love and hugs to all of you!

mcook301

Love the hugs sent too! How the heck can I copy and paste on here? Might be because it is an IPAD?

websister

Great to hear you are feeling better and have a drain out, McCook - great progress!

And speaking of bald, this is my new avatar after my haircutting party this afternoon. Cooler, and it is hot here today, if nothing else.

 Take care, everyone

betsyamend

Hello there,

This is my first post.  I am 49 years old and was remiss in getting mammograms until January of this year.  Then I got a stage 1 cancer diagnosis which was upped to a stage 2 diagnosis after surgery.  I have been through chemotherapy, finished that in June and am starting radiation soon.