2012 sisters

Tazzy

Christy/Robin... how cool you 2 are meeting up.   Hugs from me xxx

Chrisrenee77

Tazzy- thanks! I'm so excited. Maybe I can talk robin into taking a pic with me and us posting it on here for yall. I haven't actually sat down and talked to another cancer patient beside my cancer advocate. So this will be a treat for me!

Have a good night Tazzy. I am going to bed been up way too long today.

juneaubugg

gonzard222: my MO told me that if you have no positive nodes (I was 0/5) then scans are not needed. That is why I am guessing you have not had any either. :-)

juneaubugg

Ps. My DH and I have absconded from New Jersey and driven into Pennsylvania (30 mins to the northeast boarder of PA) where there is the usual ammeneties (you know; power, gas, hot water!) and are staying in a hotel. I feel bad about abandoning our 3 kitties, but as DH reminds me... They have fur and if strays can survive the winter outside, ours can manage a few days. (I also note that they are a bit "tubby" as i tend to make sure they always have something to minble on; and their fat should also assist in keeping them warm). Anyway, I'm prepared to stay until we get power- I don't care the cost. It's just gotten to damn cold here the last couple of days!



I spoke to my new employer; I start Monday. I mentioned my surgery on the 29th and he said not to worry, we'd sort it out. I'm really looking forward to a fresh start.



Unlike lifelie and Ann; although I can talk about it rather matter of factly when asked medical questions, and have accepted that this is my life - on some level - there is part of me that STILL CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT THIS PAST YEAR HAS HAPPENED. That I'm bald, butchered, pale and run down. That I was ever the woman I was a year ago. That at 44 I got BC! That I HAVE an ONCOLOGIST!!! That I have to be "monitored". but mostly... That I have, for the first time, have faced my mortality. That's WHAT other people don't understand. Not even my 74 year old father who is the picture of good health.



Sorry so morose. This journey is so taxing. The fear of the unknown, the physical discomforts and vision of the person that now looks back at me in the mirror. The acceptance needed and faith to get through it. I can't believe I have lived through all of this over the past year and more importantly couldn't have survived it without you all!!! You have been my lifeline, my connection to reality because only you all could tell me that how I felt was normal and it was ok, and that it would get easier. THANK YOU LADIES!



Sleep tight all. Hoping you find your little bit of Happy.

Anonymous

juneau - glad to hear you are escaping for comfort. I am so thankful to be at my MILs. Was able to have a normal dinner with lights, take a hot shower, watch some tv, crank up the heat when I got cold, etc, etc... Now to just find some gas!!!

Any of you herceptin takers out there - did you get a fever and killer headache from it? Been battling a headache for days - which I realize could of course be stress induced. But tonight I clearly had a fever of about 100.2 or 100.4 - and as I sit here now with my face still feeling flushed, I assume I still have it. I called the on-call Dr at my MOs office - and didn't care for him at all. When I reported my syptoms he said "so whats the problem?" Well... Just that every f'ing piece of paper I've ever received from the MOs is that a fever of 100.4 is reportable. His response - "yes, we like you to report it but I wouldn't be worried about it." After nudging for more guidance, he left me with the instructions to just keep an eye on it and let them know if it goes up. So now that I am wide awake in the middle of the night, I'm of course googling taxol and herceptin side effects - as I always tune out and ignore the list the spout out when they tell you these things (b/c really - who wants to know...). First thing I see for herceptin is fever, chills and flu-like symptoms. Sounds like me but wondering if others have experienced it. Thanks!

And Juneau - your line of thinking above reminded me of an email exchange I had with a customer today. He knows about my cancer situation this year and I shared with him the damage we suffered from Sandy. But I noted that the silver lining was we are all safe, our house is standing and has no water damage. His response was kind but one of complete shock at my ability to find any silver linings after the year i've had. I didn't respond - but I've been thinking about it. And I realize now that I think one of my cancer life lessons has finally arrived and settled in. You can't control the world around you. All you can do is control your reactions to it and what you do moving forward to keep your life going in a way that makes you happy. I guess facing a life-threatening illness (especially at the age of 37 with two young kids) will help you learn that if you open you mind/heart to it... Anyway - just my middle of the night train of thought and rambling.

To all you newbies - welcome and sorry you have to be here. I haven't really been able to keep up with posts so know I am missing sending out some personal happy dancings and comfort hugs - so consider them all sent here.

And one more thing I wanted to share. When I arrived at my MILs the other night, her upstairs neighbor camed down with a package for me. He recently lost his wife to BC and wanted to give me her wigs and scarves, as he hadn't yet parted with them. The two of us shared a big bear hug and mini-sob-fest on the porch as I let him unload his story. But I was so very touched by his gesture.

Love you all. Hope you are sleeping better than I am!!!

liefie

Juneau, that hotel sounds like just the thing to me. Enjoy! We once did the same thing when the power was out for days, and the house had become as cold as a tomb. First thing I did at the hotel was soak in a bath filled with hot water to defrost my frozen bones - what a joy that was. Don't worry about the cats too much. If they know what's good for them, they will snuggle up together to keep warm. To me this year also stlll feels surreal, and I just shake my head sometimes when I think about it. Trust me, in a few months you will feel like you again, changed for sure, but your life will return to (almost!) normal. How does that saying go - what doesn't kill you makes you better? Well, I guess we are now 'better', whatever that may mean - LOL. 

Ramols, I'm also awake early here on the west coast of Canada. You are so right. We can only control our own reactions, and we are the architects of our own 'happy', no matter what life throws at us, be it cancer, hurricanes . . . in the process we may even become wiser. What a touching gesture by that neighbour to give his wife's things to you! I bet it was healing for him too to do this for you, almost symbolic in a way. Hope your fever goes away soon. Im not on Herceptin, but it sounds as if these symptoms could very well be caused by it.

Welcome to all the newcomers here. It saddens me that so many people are diagnosed daily with this disease that takes so much from a woman. There is no way around it, and very little choice; one simply has to man up, and forge your way through it. There is life on the other side. Big hugs and best wishes to you all!

KarenZ0305

Miranda - my DH was the same in the beginning but talking to the MO and learning about the medicines helped a lot. Once he realized that this was going to be ok (thank the goddess that all my drs were positive ones) it was all systems go. He (as always) has been my rock. He offered to go to every treatment and appts but I only had him go to important ones. First AC, what's next MO appts. That dort of ghing. Brought my friends to treatments. Then before the pesky SE's kicked in had a wonderful dinner with laughter and normalcy for a bit. Remember we're all here if you need to vent anything. Support is the best thing to get us through this. And the meds for SE's!



Juneau - we've been joking all week about going to Hershey. Still have no power but we have a borrowed generator that my DH hooked into furnace and never lost hot water. I sent my kiddies to MILs and have been doing laundry there. What is making me feel good during this outage is I'm able to give back a bit to friends and family who helped us during AC and taxol. A lot of them had/have no water or power so they are coming here to shower and warm up. Every night they come over and we have pot luck and lots of wine! My sister said the shower just made her feel human. I get that. Happy to say she got power back and can now flush! Oh the little things! Hopefully by Monday. Good luck your first day. I always liked starting new jobs. Kind of a fresh start in life.



Enjoy your weekend everyone and feel good!

liefie

Karen, so good to hear you are getting back to some semblance of normalcy. You guys seem to be making the best of a bad situation - those pot lucks sound lovely, and yes, there is nothing like a hot bath or shower to make you feel human again. Best wishes to all of you there still struggling with the aftermath of Sandy.

luvmygoats

Hey Robin - Invite you to join the Texas thread, too.  Talking about getting together as a group.  I'm NW of Ft. Worth.

MirandaSW

Call me G.I. Jane

Anonymous

Power! We have power! Woo hoo! So very nice to be home. Can't wait to sleep.in my own bed. And my hubby managed to get gas for our rental out of our crushed vehicles - so we should be all set to get me to chemo o. Wednesday. Good luck to the rest of you still waiting for power.

juneaubugg

Ramols.... YAY!!!! Us too! Back home, lights blazing, heating cranking, kitties purring, gas tank filled in PA. Hopefully it lasts the week.

Tazzy

ramols/juneau - woo hoo for you both.  I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel to be at home, with power, in your own bed.  Enjoy ladies - you are both so strong eh?

hugs to all xxx

gonzard222

Luvmygoats--Hi,  where is the texas thread?  

Juneubug/Ramols--so glad to hear you have power! Hope things get better for you Fast!! Glad your kitties were ok as well

Tazzy--hope your doing well, its been awesome talking to Christy! and I agree, a pic would be a great idea!

Praying for you all!

Hope you all have a good night and don't forget to change your clocks back an hour!!

Chrisrenee77

Robin go to my profile and it shows a list of threads I've commented on, Texas is on there. I've enjoyed talking to you as well! Here's to New friendships!



Juneau/Ramols yes congrats on going back home to power. It's amazing how we get use to such things as Powr and running water.



Hope everyone has had a good day. I spent the day with my grandparents. Took them to lunch and of course it was a fight to the end on who was paying, and I won once again. It's nice to spoil my grandparents.

_Ann_

Congratulations ramols and juneaubugg!  Nothing like heat, lights, and hot showers, is there?

Jennie93

MirandaSW:  me too.  shaved it all off.   

juneaubugg

New job in the morning. Nervous. Hoping for minimal hot flashes because I can't just rip my wig off!! I haven't worked since the end of May, so it's going to be a long exciting day!! Wish me luck!!

Outdamnedspot

Good luck tomorrow! Excited for you especially after all you went through last week. Let us know how it went!

Joanne_53

Juneaubugg, good luck tomorrow ... You will be great ... ((Hugs))

Chrisrenee77

Juneau- Good luck on your first day tomorrow. You will have a good day. If you have a power surge, just stick your face in front a fan. I do, and I don't care what people think about it. It's better than me having to go home. We will all be with you tomorrow and waiting for an update.

websister

Juneaubug - thinking of you tomorrow with your first day at your new job - rock that wig, don't flip it

You'll be great - it will be a piece of cake after soldiering through chemo and Sandy

gonzard222

juneaubug---good luck tomorrow! hope you have a great day!!

juneaubugg

Thanks ladies!!

halfcan

Best of luck tomorrow juneaubugg!!! We can't wait to hear what a great day you had!

halfcan

Best of luck tomorrow juneaubugg!!! We can't wait to hear what a great day you had!

lisa2012

hey juneaubug- have a great Monday!

Scottiee1

Juneaubug......good luck today.....I know you'll do great.

Anonymous

Juneau - go get 'em. You'll be awesome. You've learned that you can handle anything life throws at you now! We'll all be with you.



Just woke up and already found my happy. Friends of ours still without power moved in last night and we decided to let our two four-year olds have a sleepover in my sons room. Listening to them play and chatter now as they just woke up is adorable! Hope you all feel good and find some happy today!

Tazzy

Thinking of you juneau and how you will knock their socks off at your new job.  Looking forward to hearing how it went.

ramols: so glad you found your happy in amongst all you are going through.

wishing all of you your 'happy' today (((hugs)))