2012 sisters

_Ann_

Teeballmom, sorry you have to go through another scan.  I guess it's good your doctor is being cautious but heck, Taxol causes bone pain, so you'd think they'd consider that to be normal.  I've had pain in ribs, chest, hips, back, legs, and feet.  Pretty much all over!

Marian, glad to hear you're recovering from the last chemo.  Wishing you minimal SE's next week.

Tazzy, speaking of doing something nice on chemo day, the hubby and I have declared it to be Burger Night.  For some reason I was craving meat just about every infusion day, so we made it a habit to grill burgers every night afterward.  "Burger Night" sounds a lot better than "Chemo Day" doesn't it?  Tonight we were too tired to shop and cook so we went to In-N-Out (popular So Cal burger chain).

Lifie, you're right this is a very supportive little community.  It's odd to me when people are skeptical of "people on the internet" whereas I've experienced so much kindness on support forums and message boards over the years.

Sweet dreams everyone!

teeballmom

Thank you Juneaubugg and Ann!

Scottiee1

Teeballmom....I will also be praying you get the all clear.....I do get the freaking out however....I'm on Letrozole and I get all kinds of pain and, of course, my mind goes to

recurrence...but as Ann said, your meds also cause bone pain sooo take a deep breath

and try, I know, NOT easy, to be positive.

Aruba

Hi gang,

Trying to stay caught up!  Marianelizabeth-Glad you are feeling better!  Glad a weekend is upcoming!

Chrissera-so glad it's not celluilitis, Enjoy your facial and glad you'll get rads behind you soon.

Halfcan-REST!!

Websister-Rest for you too!  Glad you are getting through each treatment one step forward.  I still am living in your descriptions of your scenic vacation!

Ann-you are good to give your vein to the students!  I am doing clincial trial etc..to help and let all the resident Dr's in all the time at appts etc.  But when I have one arm to give now, and hate needles anyway..I want the expert first time!

Ramols-Sending you germ free hugs today.  Hope  you get some rest!!

Liefie-how cool to meet your dr throught the airwaves!  Getting your answers without the commute is great!

Teeballmom-Thoughts with you!  Scanxiety will be our new norm, I am afraid as we all will face diagnotic exams as we move forward.  I hope this is just a SE of the chemo and nothing more!

Everyone else, I am keeping up on this thread as it is the community that gets it from the getgo!  We are lucky to have each other and I send you all hugs!  I am off now to rad #27/31.  Am told my skin is holding on well but it is very red and uncomfortable on the underboob and armpit.  Having lost my job a few weeks ago has a silver lining, using all the lotions, being able to air dry and not wearing a bra is what is getting me through this right now.  I never have been so excited for Halloween as this year..as it is hopefully my last drive downtown to get zapped wearing that breathing device! 

halfcan

I'm hanging in there this morning after the BGC yesterday. Slept all night so guess the steroids don't bother me. Had some toast and pumping fluids and hoping for a decent day. The sun is shining here in the valley and its so good for the mood. Hope all of you have an SE free day ... Or at least minimal. :-). Hugs

KarenZ0305

Hi all I will come back later and update but



Aruba - I have the same underboob problem and I keep a small piece of terry cloth under there to keep the moisture out. That and the anti fungal cream my RO gave me is helping with the rash.

Scorchy

Teeballmom,

I hate cancer and it pisses me off that you're going through this crap.  Fingers crossed that it's side effects and nothing more.

Our symbiotic relationship with cancer:

Many ((((((hugs)))))) to you.
Scorch

KarenZ0305

Ok I'm back.



Teeball I too am sending good thoughts your way. I remember in the beginning I had terrible chest pain when I was on the lovely A/C coctail and having to go to ER for a heart scan. It was nothing just some lovely SE's! I too had/have the bone pain and it was worse then. But nevertheless I am surrounding you in white light.



Today I had a meltdown at rads office. Just so tired of being tired and the aches and pains and not sleeping good because of the aches and pains. I want to feel good! The sad part is I know I'll be ok (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Even if this ugly cancer comes back one day I'll just kick its ass again! I just want the fucking SE's to go away. I don't even care about my nails looking hideous or no eyebrows or lashes or anything like that. I just want to feel good again! Its been a downer of a week for me. Just Can't stop crying over it today. I need the sun to come back out.



Ok enough of that. Thank you for being here and listening to my rant today. I know my DH gets it but not like you ladies here. Besides I know he has his own worries over all this and sometimes I don't want to unload on him. He deals with enough!



A wonderful day to all! And that whatever your day is like here is a little ☀for you!



Karen

Aruba

Karen, Thanks for the tip..I keep a foam padding under there too that lets the skin breathe; I know in a few weeks we will have it in the rearview mirror!  Karen, can't imagine sleeping through the night..I don't think I have done that since dx.  Hang in there and do vent here anytime..we do get it!!!! 

liefie

Teeballmom, I'm thinking of you today and sending hugs. Those aches and pains are most probably nothing serious, and I'm with Scorchy in that I just hate that you have to be so worried once again. I think everybody here can identify with that fear of it coming back, even if we are told we are 'cured' or NED. That is the most important change that cancer has wrought in my life which was so carefree and happy-go-lucky before, the fact that I'm now always vaguely on some level aware of the recurrence or metastesis possibility. On the other hand, I do embrace life, and appreciate and just enjoy it so much more now that I have had this reminder that life can (and will) end at some stage. It is a weird juxtaposition.

Karen, hope you will feel better soon. We all have our melt-down moments, believe me. Aruba is right, we understand how you feel. Rant all you want here to get it out of your system.

So when I came home from yoga, there was a message on my phone from my onc's secretary cancelling the telehealth interview this afternoon. He will now phone me after five. Oh well, I'll still get to talk to him, and ask my questions. We just won't see each other - no big deal.

The yoga is so good for me. It relaxes me completely, and my left shoulder/arm which was so stiffened up from the rads is much looser. I don't have full range of motion yet, but that will only come once the TE is gone. Those of you in rads currently, remember to exercise your arm and shoulder on the rad side every day so you don't end up with the stiff shoulder like I did, because my rad team never told me that I was supposed to move it regularly. This has to be continued afterwards, because rads still affect our muscles and tissues for months after it's done. Oh, the joys . . .

Tazzy

Ramols:  that is a long day in the BGC.  Your positivity knows no bounds.

Halfcan:  2 down… so nice your Sister is spending time with you.  Agree with ramols… why don’t they just slow the infusion down in the first place. 

Liefie – hope your check up went OK.  Just read your last post – sorry it was cancelled – darn it.  We get ourselves so worked up for these things eh?

Marian – glad to hear you are feeling better.

Teeball – sending positive vibes and good mojo your way for clear scans.   It is good your onc is being proactive.  You do not want a repeat of your bc dx eh?  Still it is very wearing I hear ya.

Ann : absolutely Burger Night is way better.  Funny that, I used to crave real stodgy foods on chemo days too.

Aruba… scanxiety… love it.   Rad 27/31… wow your light at the end of the tunnel must be getting bright.

Scorchy -  the smilies are great and so true… but that’s what we are all doing, knocking the shit of our bc.

Karen : sorry you have feeling so crappy.. its ok to have meltdowns.  We will all come to any pity party you want.  We’ll bring chocolate and martini’s.  and yes, the SE’s are way worse than the cancer, in a warped way ?

Want to share a story with you about what happened today (also posted on another thread so sorry if this is a repeat for anyone).

So today I was being nuked at 8am and went to a workshop from 9-1 through work. An amazing employment lawyer was speaking about a new workplace health and safety bill on bullying.. anyway there were lots of managers who I haven’t seen since I was dx’d. So one manager, who has always been a touchy, feely type came up to me and said “I never knew you were so sick until a while ago, can I hug you’ ‘sure’ I said. Well it was a bear hug – I thought my foobie would be squished never to be the same again. So after her asking how I was blah, blah.. she put her hands on my shoulders, gave me another hug, looked me in the eyes and said ‘are you going to die?’… WTF ? all I could say was ‘not today I’m not’

jpmomof3

I am done. I am done. Nine months of hell and I am done. I have poisoned my heart and body, lost my hair, gotten dry eyes and mouth, bleeding noses, swallowing problems, body aches and bone pain, lost toenails, lost my energy and the contents of my stomach, lost sleep, 3 scars five procedures during three surgeries, sliced parts off my body, put through sudden violent menopause, night sweats, been in pain, burned my skin and scarred my lung and hopefully FUCKING KILLED ALL CANCER in my body. I am now done with the active part of my treatments. Last rads today. Now it's just five years of anti hormone therapy to further remove all traces of the effects of female hormones in my body. To kill cancer. Fuck you cancer! I am done and I beat you. Don't fucking bother me again. That's enough. I am forty two. Leave me the fuck alone.

Tazzy

jpmom: wonderful, wonderful post. You summed it all up for us.   You go girl.   Hope you stop in now and again to say hi.  

Scottiee1

Jpmomof3........congrats

ckolendar

YAY for you Jpmomof3! Live it up girlfriend!

KarenZ0305

JP - YAY! YOU GO GIRL! KICK THAT FUCKING CANCERS ASS TO THE CURB!



Yes I meant to yell. I am so happy for you. Now it's time to party! Seriously throw a party this weekend. Storm Sandy be damned! I know that when I do my last herceptin in April I am throwing one big party.



I raise a glass and tip my hat to you for your strength and determination to get through this.



You are woman here you ROAR!!

DigitalCowgirl

Hi everybody!

Gosh, it's been a long time since I've posted here but it's so nice to see my 2012 sisters posting such positive things.  Welcome to all our new sisters.

I'm sorry I won't be able to greet each of you personally, but I managed to read most posts from the past few months and will just say THANK YOU for sharing, posting photos and offering kind words of encouragement.  Please know that I send you all my love and best wishes.

I have been recovering from surgery to remove a salivary gland tumor.  That darn sucker was about 4 inches in circumference and had wrapped itself around critical nerves and veins.  It was also pressing on my brain stem. The weird thing is, I never felt it!  My ENT and team did a great job, but I am still swollen and sore as they had to remove a slice of my jaw bone in order not to cause facial paralysis. What an adventure, but the good news is that this big ole blob of a tumor was benign! I've been worried I had cancer in my neck too since June--my MO even thought it was CA.  Whew!  Now all I have to worry about is scaring small children with this 6 inch scar. 

I'm also happy to report that I just need one more fill before exchange surgery that's scheduled 11/14.  Ah, it will be so nice to sleep on my sides again and have boobs that bounce.

Well that's all for now.  It feels great to be back with you. 

Hugs

Scorchy

Way to go JPmom!  Woot!

Fuck cancer! 

halfcan

So happy for you jpmomof3!!! We all agree.... FUCK CANCER!!!

liefie

Jpmomof3, your post brought tears to my eyes because it is so raw, so true and almost poetic. You are one feisty, brave, courageous girl, and you did it! I am truly so happy for you and your family that this is behind you. Best wishes and hugs to you!

Tazzy, oh my goodness! I have no words for that woman - wow!

Welcome back, Cowgirl! Happy for you that your boobs will be bouncing again soon!

Chrisrenee77

congrats jpmom! That is an amazing accomplishment. I have said it many many times before, all you ladies doing chemo and rads are my heroes.

Has anyone heard from Mrschich? I haven't seen her post in a few days. Mrscich, if your out there I'm thinking about you!

jpmomof3

You will all get there ladies keep up the good work. We all deserve a party!

websister

Welcome back, Digital Cowgirl - you've been through a lot, so glad the salivary gland tumor was benign



Jpmomof3 - congratulations!!!! Do stay in touch and let us know what car you decide on



Tazzy - can't believe that manager, glad your foob survived



Ramols - you are a trooper, glad you have one more chemo down, wishing you strong immunity to the kid germs



Liefie - you will have just spoken to your oncologist, can't wait to hear how it went



Karen - hugs



Halfcan - hope you continue to do well with minimal side effects from this chemo



Marianelizabeth - glad you are doing better



Teeball - hope you are able to get your mind off the 'scanxiety' a little bit this weekend, sending hugs



Karen - sending hugs your way also



I still seem to be doing OK post Taxotere/Herceptin - so far no real aching of bones/muscles but noticed that I was quite fatigued after collecting my 17 year old from school and walking through the mall to the dentists with him, glad to just sit there while he was in but contemplated looking for a place to lie down. My 25 year old and his girlfriend are coming over for supper this evening, so thankful for crockpots, chili has been cooking all day, bought a packaged salad that includes dressing and pumpkin seeds/cranberries and pulled out a package of frozen cookie dough from the freezer and made those up. House smells good without too much trouble on my part. I feel an early bedtime coming on though.



Take care everyone!

websister

Karen - looks like you got double the hugs - chemo brain on my part

MrsCich

I'm here Chirsrenee, Just lurking rather than posting. Monday was a bad day for me and I laid around all day fighting with myself because I felt lazy and useless. It was day 3 after chemo #2 so I'm guessing it was just my worst day. Hoping so at least.



Yesterday I went into work and got cleared to work at least 16 hours a week just to keep myself sane. I'm a Safety Specialist at a NASA site so I'm pretty limited to what I can do because I investigate mishaps and sometimes have to get on the test stands and such. My return was so welcomed and I'm so glad to be back for the little time I can be.



Surgery went well. Still stitched up, I get those out next Thursday hopefully. Labs tomorrow (I get them every Friday to check my counts).



Jpmom, I cannot wait until I can say that. I'm so happy for you!!!!

juneaubugg

JP.... Woot woot!!!!!!!! Go get 'em girl!

Anonymous

jpmom - everyone summed it up already but I wanted to chime in and say congrats to you! Been wondering where you've been, but figured you're trying to get on with life while wrapping up rads. So very happy for you that active treatment is over. can't wait to get there myself. Hearing from you reminds me that day will come. Now go buy yourself a fast car!!!

Chrisrenee77

Mrscich- glad you are doing well post BGC and your surgery. Are you able to get your fills at this time or are those on hold?

How cool is it to work at NASA!? That sounds like an amazing job. I have worked at one of the local hospitals in my city, I have been there for 16 yrs and I absolutely love it. I love my patients and my coworkers. I also get very tired and lazy and just really don't give a shit. I figured if I've beat cancer at this time, Ive earned my way to be lazy sometimes.  When I went out for my BMX my coworkers bought me a pink treasure chest and everything inside was pink! I had everything in there you could imagine. Pj's, house shoes, socks, jewely, bath and body, bible, journals, bath towels. I was so overwhelmed by their generosity from their gifts I cried big crocodile tears. When i came back from the original surgery i was greeted by hugs, kisses and most of all love and support. When i came back from the TE surgery once again I was greeted by the above along with, " those look great" or "can i see them, and can I touch them." Now i've learned to smile and lift my shirt and oblige my fellow "curious" friends and I just laugh at them.

hope everyone is doing well.

Tazzy

MrsCich... I agree - what a cool job.  When I first saw the landing on the moon I really wanted to be an astronaut - that didn't happen so guess I never did well enough in sciences.. or anything else for that matter

MirandaSW

Well, I had my chemo last friday. Monday was my Neulasta and with it came pain. Pain in my heels, shins, neck and shoulders the worst. My pain pills were effective. Tuesday night the nausea and vomiting started. Wed was much nausea, vominiting and no energy. Today I feel mostly better.

My eyesight seems blurry and not right. This is my first chemo, I hope that doesnt get too much worse throught these cycles.

Also, I have to ask about something else.  Probably TMI but I dont suppose you all care much.  I am itchy in my private area. Not inside like a yeast infection, but all over--pubic area, between my legs-all the skin down there. It looks red, bumpy and is intensly itchy.  Well, now Im pretty sure I have yeast under the hood. Could it be a surface yeast infection all over there?  Do they treat it with regular remedies like diflucan and cream? I also have some itchy spots on my chest.