Fuzzy's Romp Room

sheila888

fuzzy...Actually i'm little scared of dummies..so they will really be slapped.

fuzzy...you can ask anything you want...I voluntarily put myself in the rubber room.

the time that should be a really happy time .....DD getting married in July and the ex who thinks he raised them or something is also flying to Hawaii with his wife & daughter...which i have no issues with wife and little girl...i love them to death and she feels the same way about me......

I wish he stayed here and send the family only...&*&^&*&^#@$ ............

To be continued tomorrow after the dummies are dust

sheila888

thefuzzylemon

OMG...lets get a game of Whack a Ex going. My ex actually wanted full custody of my babies...MY BABIES!! Sick things happen if you pay enough...which he did....and put me into a nervous breakdown at 25 years old. Needless to say, led by my principles, karma took care of business.

I've forgiven him for the evil he tried to drown me with (and my babies)....but I'd still whack him with a. Stick if he popped his head out of a box....

sheila888

I feel calmer today.

Thank You for being there for me...........♥

Mine needed his freedom........Got his freedom but he was never a happy man.......

Today i'm grateful he wasn't in my life but sometimes a small thing can bring the bad memories back.

You are all so caring.......♥♥♥♥♥♥ i love you.

thefuzzylemon

Oh I love you too.  I really do.  Mine didn't want freedom...in fact, he was exactly at the other end of the extreme.  He was very, very controlling.  He's not a happy man either.  He is suffering from paranoia (sp?) and I didn't realize either of those things until much later in our relationship.  He wouldn't open the blinds....ever.  I was to go to work, give him my paycheck, have babies, keep the house clean.  He still...to this day...has the child safety plugs on the outlets...the girls are not allowed to use the stove, diswasher, microwave oven or play in the front yard.  I should mention, my oldest has an apartment in Milwaukee and she's a sophmore in college, the baby is a senior in high school!! 

So, I fulfilled a life long dream and got into ring fighting...did really well.  He HATED that.  But, what it tought me was focus...you can't win a fight if you are controlled by the other person.  I realized I really didn't fit with him...I'm a pretty open person, love doing and experiencing everything I can...and I didn't "love" him.  My girls, now that's love...man was he pissed!!!  All of a sudden his little trophy wife wasn't going to put up with "you're stupid, that's stupid, their stupid" any longer.  It was a long couple of years, but I made it out...with NOTHING!  He kept everything that me and the girls owned (clothes, bedding, shoes ... every single thing).  I started over from scratch - the $10 I had in my pocket bought my oldest two dresses for her first day of pre-school.  Oh, and I made $9.00 and hour ... everything was put into his dad's name (I was not aware of this...) including the house, the land, the vehicles ... everything.  I gained nothing from the entire time I was with him and everything I have now is mine...he is still alone, still unhappy, still paranoid ... he has not recognized or grown from any experience.  It's sad really.  He's all about money and looking good.   No way to live if you ask me.

So, my girls grew up and realized that he and I are two totally different people.  He doesn't appreciate women as equalls and they know where "home and love" are.  They respect him, but they see him for who he is.  That meant the world to me.  I kept silent fo rmany many years on things that I wanted to say to the girls, but I needed them to see for themselves.  Ya know? 

Now, I'm married to a man that has supported every crazy thing I have ever wanted to do!  LOL He and I discussed this whole marriage deal...I want him, I don't need him.  We have been together for like 15 years...much of that 15 years was brutal and we have weathered so much.  When BC came along, I did expect it to rip us in half (I'm kinda independant and in control of everything...).  I couldn't have been more wrong.  He doesn't do everything right, but his heart is in the right place.  He really took exceptional care of me...and still does to this day.  I'm a big fan of second marriges!!  LOL

Yes...I care.  I understand about the bad memories rising and causing pain.  One of my DH friends came over(we were not married at this time) - just totally wasted and fresh out of Hooters (long time ago)...I didn't care to hear what he was saying so I got up to leave...his friend said, "Where are ya going, Stupid?!"  That's all I remember...but the story goes....

I walked over to him, tossed my glass to my right, as he watched the glass I delivered a beautiful right upper cut to his jaw...when he reacted to that, I gave him my left ... now, this boy is an iron worker...he could have seriously given me a beating.  When I came to, I was in a dark room shaking.  DH was pissed that I punched his friend.  I couldn't say anything because I didn't know what happened.  I walked out to apologize and admit to my lack of control.  The friend started laughing and couldn't believe that I made him see stars!  He and I have been connected at the hip, great friends, ever since.  And, he edits himself in my presence, as I tolerate his language out of the great respect that I have for him!

So, to this day, you can call me anything you want...anything at all....except STUPID.  I went through years of therapy and medications because my first husband convinced me (over years...real sneaky like) that I could never do anything, I was not capable, and I didn't have the intelligence. 

When are you going to Hawaii?  I have an opportunity to go in September/Early October.  A friend of mine asked me to go!  And, with all this cancer shit, I have to suck up my fears and just do it!  But, wouldn't it be awesome if we could hook up?

Makratz

You overcame soooo much Fuzzy!!  That's just awesome!

http://www.y8.com/games/whack_your_ex

Here's the link for the game, Whack an Ex!

thefuzzylemon

Oh Mak - you are so sweet!  I am so proud of my determination...I made "mistakes" but...as I know better, I do better.  No regrets!  Thank you for the link!  I had no idea there was a game already!!! LOL

Let me tell ya...there are stories after stories that have blown the minds of my friends...my ex was a bump in the road....a $6,000 learning experience (divorce cost only).  I'm sure everyone has some truly monumental experiences and I love hearing about them.  I love sharing...love love love it!  I became a published author a few years ago with an autobiography of my step dad...he was a great man - but we had a few years of hell as he was dealing with Luekemia end stages and I was an alchoholic 15/16 year old...and very aggressive.  He held a shotgun to my chest one day (my mom about pissed herself) and I told him to shoot - didn't care...meant it.  He didn't shoot (obviously) but, as the story goes, I really did love him and he really did love me...and, I am thinking of him now.

Thanks Mak....

sheila888

Fuzzy...We are Survivors from mental abuse to BC.

♥

Makratz

♥♥♥

sheila888

♥♥

thefuzzylemon

I hope I didn't sound like I was whinning!  LOL  I look back at my life, how much I have learned and what I can do with it...or, what it was meant to teach me...it's really pretty cool. 

I haven't gotten anything done today!!  I'm just so happy to be spending time with my family here!!!

Makratz

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Wish I could make cool hearts like Sheila.  Show off!

sheila888

fuzzy...you are doing fine and i'm doing fine......

Linda....Just copy the pink heart and paste it here....if you google them they come in different colors but you have to look to find a tiny one since they are all big hearts.

Productive,,,,,, fixing my file cabinet...i love throwing stuff out......

i learned a lot too but that one subject will remain raw.

It's funny there is a thread going on about PTSD     I know what it means OK at least i have an issue that has a medical name and I'm not crazy.

thefuzzylemon

I've seen that...but I don't know what it is!!  Can you give me a hint...?

sheila888

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

That's what I'm experiencing and it's real.

thefuzzylemon

ooooh....got it...yes, my shrink has made reference to this...right now she sees me with Adjustment Disorder....she's right.

sheila888

fuzzy...my PTSD started after 8 years of mental abuse......got very sick with no DX......because i had every symptom of every illness possible......and i was left alone that nothing was wrong with me...... after 3 months of suffering not to be able to sleep, breath or eat fell below 100 pounds..  I knew I couldn't survive and I was dying age 36 from an unknown disease.......finally one of my friends insisted to take me to Emergency MH center...I was DX right away with a complete break down and I was sent to a private Hospital only 14 people......It took about 6 weeks to fix my physical health after that hell broke down which took me to my recovery.

I was there long time...came out strong but scared.....Depressive episodes will always remain with me even with medication....I was in a very bad place until December.....

thanks for reading....so every little think that reminds me of his mental abuse i go into crisis...not this level.

i'm glad for my friends here. you know who you are

sheila888

thefuzzylemon

You are an inspiration to me Sheila.

chabba

Love you Sheila. 

thefuzzylemon

Ooooooh how Iove this room....happy happy safe place safe place....say what you want, do what you want...I'm needed the full length "wrap-her-up-and-let-her-out-tomorrow" jacket! 

Anymore of those super awesome happy face things that move?  They make me smile!

sjaysco

Hi my name is Jayne.  I'm not sure if this the right thread to post.  I've never really done message boards before.  I'm 2 years cancer free and now having a hard time with finding out what this so called "finding my new normal"  is.  I think family and friends don't want to heard about it anymore but it still there.  I had a bi-lateral with a tram flap that didn't take so I had to have a few revisions and 6 rounds of chemo with a year of Herceptin.

thefuzzylemon

Hello SJay - You found one of the right places, that's for sure!!  If you need any help with the boards, just let us know!

I am finding that my surrounding people have forgotten...I've been silenced by many...that's for real.  It's a shame how they don't even try to understand that we fight for our lives every day, every minute and continue to suffer with SE's.  I am only one year out, but I do not see this changing any time soon.  We have to stick together....

So this "normal" thing ... I'm at my wits end.  I don't even know what to do anymore.  My tolerance for bull shit is significantly lower than it was before.  My eating just sucks.  My energy level is so bad I take drugs to stay up and function.  I have pain...all the time...more drugs.  I can't sleep...unless I take my drugs (no guarantee)...I pee all the time....but not so much the other ya know what I mean....and I've developed a little attitude with people who judge me because of my hair...I'm sure there's more...

I don't think there is a "new Normal" for every one.  It's really feels more like a continuation of treatment and diagnosis.  I expected something much different.

So yes ... welcome ... enjoy this lively group. 

((((hugs))))

 Fuzzy just learned that we are not restricted to five posts until 50 anymore...I'm calling Chemo Fog!!! 

sheila888

Hi Jayne....I was also HER+ and did 1 year of Herceptin with Taxol and 4 A/C.

There are so many threads that might interest you. if you need to navigate or have any questions we are all here for you.

Sheila♥

sheila888

hi fuzzy.

Makratz

Welcome Jane, Glad you found our boards.  You will find lots of help and sisterhood here.  I agree, after 3 years out, people have totally forgotten.  Hell, they forgot the day I finished active treatment!  Everyone here gets it!  Not an hour goes by that I don't think about cancer.  My sisters here (and on FB) help me every single day!

MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all!

Makratz

Sheila, is that you and BBB or Sam?  lol!!

Sorry I spelt your name wrong, Jayne.  You can call me Lynda (it's really Linda). lol!

sheila888

Linda=DM 

sheila888

I just heard Whitney Houston was found dead at age 48

thefuzzylemon

WHOA!  Really????  Why????  I gotta go check that out....she was so talented...and so messed up...