Has anyone started a Dec 2011 group?

momof3boys

Oh and the text: "so glad it's over! You can put it alllll behind you now!"
I text back: "thank you! Glad chemo is over, that was awful. I get a 4 week break, then start rads"
She text back "oh yeah, I forgot about rads....that's the easy part though! Have a fun weekend"

Whatashocker3

You can relate!!! How disappointing. Pay it forward? My sil's fiancé is a better support than my own sister. How embarrassing is that. Sure she offers to do lots of things but hasn't come across with anything. How will you manage this relationship in the future?

momof3boys

You know, I do love my sister and each of us have been thru some difficult times. She lost a baby (her 4th child) carried him full term knowing he had a not survivable birth defect (had 1/2 a heart). He was born on December 14, 2003 and was expected to live just hours, and he was beautiful! He surprised everyone and actually went home with them... Only to die on Christmas morning in my sisters arms as her other kids were opening their gifts.... She didn't say anything until the gifts were opened then carried him into their bedroom and collapsed... I was pregnant with my youngest at the same time. It was really hard, and I know it still is. Both boys, just months apart. So, I will forgive her and will be there when / if she needs me.

She's just different, you know? Even when we all have Sunday dinner at our Mom's house, we all bring something (vegetables, rolls, dessert).... She never brings anything. And after dinner, while my other sister, SIL and Mom clear and clean up? She just goes and sits down???? I don't get it!!

Oh well...

Mardibra

Congrats to all who hae finished....so exciting to be done! I have one more so I cant wait to be DONE too! I have a UMX scheduled for April with rads to follow.



As far as family? Boy, I could write a book on insensitivity. I'm the youngest of 5, four living. My sister died at 27 from melanoma in 1981 and it was very tough on my parents. My Dad died in 2010 which has been very tough on my mom. Then i was diagnosed with BC. Two of my three brothers would not allow me to tell my mom because it "would kill her". I'm sure you know how hard it is to keep this a secret. Plus, I need my mom through all of this but I'm not allowed. The one brother on my side lives out of state and has been fantastic to me as best he can from 600 miles away. The other two? Have not seen them since Christmas. Thank God for my friends or I just might loose it. I'm crying right now as I write this because I'm 45 years old and I want my mom! Honestly, I'm not sure my relationship with the two insensitive brothers will ever recover. I'm still very bitter toward them.



Thanks for listening.



Christine

dougieswife

mardibra...that is so sad!!!!  I'm so sorry your family is treating you that way!!  I understand not having your mom.  My mom passed away 3 years ago (I was 35) and there are so many times I just wish she were here.  She was just 66.  I know that when I am recovering from chemo, she would be here to "take care of me" and make sure I eat and drink, etc. My dad still works and is just not the "nurturing" type so it's just not the same.  He did remarry and she is wonderful and has been there for me and my family, but again, it's just not the same.  Hugs to you!!!!!!!!

GracieG

Christine, I'm so sorry that you weren't allowed to tell your Mom, I'm sure your brothers think they're trying to protect her, but as a mother myself, I would be upset if one of my children had cancer and didn't tell me.  My 2 sisters and brother all live too far away to be able to give any personal help, but they are always there with phone calls, emails and texts.  They send little gifts from time to time that really lift my spirits.  I just finished my 4 rounds of T/C chemo 2 weeks ago and just got a gift card from my brother to Red Lobster for when I feel like going out for a nice meal.  My Mom died from BC 26 years ago and telling my elderly Dad I had BC was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, even harder than telling my children.  I had chemo because my Onchotype score was 30, so I have had my surgery and don't need rads.  I finished my fills in my TE's in December and see my PS on 3/14 to talk about setting a date for my exchange surgery then.  I can't wait to get that done.  It is so nice that so many of us are done with or getting close to being done with chemo.  That is certainly one part of our treatment we can all be grateful to be done with.

Have a good evening all. 

momof3boys

Christine

I love my boys more than anything else in the world. If I learned they had a serious illness and did not tell me, I would be devastated. I would want to be there for them to support them or hold them or help out in anyway I could.

In the beginning, I dreaded telling my Mom. She has been thru so much....lost a son a 6 years old in a busing accident, went through my older sisters brain tumor surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. Then in 2008, we lost my Dad very suddenly. I swear he died of a broken heart over my sister.

But, my Mom loves us all so much, and we know that we are what she lives for. She was energized and took charge of my entire household for th three weeks that she stated with us after my surgery. Even now, during chemo, she's making meals, taking the boys to movies and lunches, stopping by to dust, fold laundry. She loves me. She needs to be here with me. Even if it's a cup of coffee and discussing nothing....she needs to see me and be with me.

Baileybump

Kelly & Christine - - hoping the weekend doesn't beat you up too bad.  Each crappy treatment brings you one step closer to the finish line.  You're so close!

Joyce & Cindy - - glad you're done with chemo.  Consider each thing progress. . . we'll beat this disease. . . together. . . one step at a time!

Lori - - I think a new normal is probably the right terminology, though anything with the term "normal" in it sounds good to me!  Enjoy the weekend. . . before the chair!

Christine - - I don't know if I could NOT tell my mom.  I'm usually HER support, so this has been a role reversal for her.  But it's been good for her to learn that she's a strong woman, too.  I am 44 years old and she is 64.  I would be tempted to tell her.  If she finds out later, she'll be so upset that she wasn't there for you!

Add me to the list of being disappointed by sisters.  My stepsister and I always got along like best friends.  When my stepdad died, she treated my mother VERY poorly (they were married 26 years) and I haven't talked to her for 2 years.  When she found out about my BC, she sent me an email that said, "sorry to hear about what you're going through.  You have a strong faith - you'll be fine."  And I haven't heard from her or my nephews (18 and 21 years old) since.  In my mind, they are no longer family.  Done! Can't fill my post-BC life with such bad vibes.  I have new on-line sisters!

Mardibra

I am going to have to tell her. If she found out from someone else, it would be the absolute worst case scenario. But, it will cause world war 3 in my family for sure. She will end up finding out that the two jerk brothers have done nothing and that will devastate her. Oh the stress. Thanks for the words of support. Much appreciated.



The leg pain has begun! About six hours early. Meds are on board. Only one more...only one more.

seacretgardn

Mardibra I hope by telling your mom you and she can both offer each other the support and love you both would benefit from. And that you get through this tx easier.



MomOf sounds like your family is wonderful and so supportive.



So many here disappointed with some family or friends, but Thank God for those who selflessly step in and care.



Whata, I have chemo for 2 more months! I'm hoping all those who are finished will still check in, or I may have to find a new thread! I will want to know how everyone is doing though.



Hugs and mild SEs this weekend to all who have had txs this week.

naan1004

Hello all, long time no post. Congrats to those who r done or almost done. I am a little over half way done, finished my AC, thank goodness for that, now on weekly Taxol until beginning of June seems such a long way to go, anyone else?

seacretgardn

Hi Naan, hoping you are feeling better after AC. I am on weekly taxol, just had 4 of 12. Txs are on Thursdays. Doing better than when on AC, weekends are my down time then start climbing toward the next tx. Still seems such a long way to go, but hoping it goes quickly.



How are you doing with the taxol so far?

naan1004

Seacret I have only had 2/16 so far had to postpone first treatment due to borderline white count. I don't know if it's from the taxol, but I have pain from my pubic bone down to my ankles and I can't seem to taste anything, having loss of appetite, which is good for me since I could lose a few lbs here and there. How r u holding up? I'm a little disappointed actually since I was supposed to have 4 taxol every 3 weeks, then I would be done by mid April and surgery would've been in May, but my onc changed the plan saying this was a more effective treatment method, which means last treatment first week of June with no interruptions, then surgery end of June, I hope.

Kelloggs

Christine - I almost cried reading your post about your mom.  I tried to keep this from mine in the very beginning....going through the testing and biopsy because she was trying to recover from a health battle herself.  I finally did tell her and I am so glad I did.  Your mom is probablu alot stronger than your insensitive brothers know and in my opinion you shouldn't keep this from her.  The longer you wait to tell her the harder it will be.  She will want to be there for you and it sounds like you could use her.  I understand your brothers are looking out for her but in the end families support each other and find ways through the rough times TOGETHER.  Give her that opportunity.  I knew that if my mom found out some other way (and they always do!) that she would be devastated and it would hurt our relationship.  You need her now.

Ok...off my soapbox.  This is just my opinion and I know you will do what is right for you.  We are rigt on track together....one more to go!  Get those pain meds working and I hope you have minimal SE's this weekend.  I am sending {{HUGS}} your way!

markat

Christine I agree with Kelly, I think you should tell your mom. I would be devastated if one of my girls were going through this without me. Hugs.

rachelvk

Christine - I'm sorry to hear about the dilemma you're facing. I agree with Kelly and the others that you should find a way to tell your mom. There are always going to be dividing lines in families, but if they have to be, they should be for the 'right' reasons - and I think your mom being able to support you, and not later on feeling like she was kept in the dark, is definitely worth risking (hopefully temporary) annoyance on your brothers' side. Have you asked them if they'd feel the same if it was their wives who had BC?

Naan - Good to hear from you. Sorry about the setback, but hopefully the treatment plan is the right one for you.

Laura - Wishing you a restful weekend and a good 'climb' back up to your next tx. 

Thank goodness my family's been pretty good. My mom's been my main caretaker for the heavy lifting (post surgery, most of my chemo runs). My sister has stayed in touch, but she hasn't been able to come here because she's been dealing with a sick infant for months. I'm so looking forward to his 1st birthday in April - perfect timing for coming out of the chemo immunity woods. And my brother, who usually has been MIA for months at a time as far as family goes, has called me almost every weekend. My aunt had DCIS and just had her 'graduation' from Tamoxifen with a clean bill of health, so she's been a good support. But I do have a couple more distant relatives who didn't want to hear - and a few who were downright nasty when we suggested they be tested for the gene. Classic case of denial.

naan1004

Rachelvk thanks, I hope so too

seacretgardn

Naan my onc said that the pelvic lower body is where most have pain. Mine seems to start in the upper parts of my body then work it's way down. I had to also delay tx an extra week after AC. Seems like so long but each week seems to come pretty quickly. Hoping no more delays for you.



Rachel as always, thank you. Hoping this month goes quickly for you and the others who will be finishing txs.



Christine, thinking of you.

Mardibra

Many thanks for the support. It means a lot to me.

Peacock

Congrats to all who have finished chemo!

 I have 7 more Taxol to go...it's a long road, but the time does pass.  Best wishes, ladies!

Sunrise79

Morning Ladies!



After being in the hospital with my infection, MO decided to postpone chemo until after the surgery. So, I have scans next week, and then I see the surgeon with expected surgery at the end of the month. After that, I recover and then finish two more rounds of TCH.



I feel for you ladies who have little support from the people who should be supporting you the most. In my case it's my husband. I dont think he knows how to deal with me being sick, so he'd rather not. I'm trying not to take it personally, but it really is hard.

seacretgardn

Sunrise how are you feeling? I hope you are regaining strength as you approach your date for surgery.



It is difficult for some family members to see their loved ones ill and not be able to "fix" them. Hoping he will come through for you.



Peacock, 7 more, right behind you with 8. Does seem a long way off, esp with so many ladies from December finished or approaching their last txs.



Soon though soon.



Feel well.



Laura

markat

Sunrise I hope you are feeling better. My husband was kind of weird about the cancer at first. When I first told him I had cancer his response was "can't they just zap it". Then he had to take over a lot of the responsibilities with our kids and that was tough. But he is coming around. After the 3rd tx he really became much more sympathetic to my needs. I hope your husband comes around.



Laura hope you are feeling well. Thanks for your response about the tylenol. Hopefully tomorrow my numbers are lower.



Everyone else, you all are in my thoughts. Thank you for all the support! Hugs!

Kelloggs

Wow...so tx #5 really hit me last night!  I have had the worst leg, hip and lower back pain all rolled up in the feeling of restless legs.  I called off work today which is so not like me.  I am starting to feel a little better this afternoon.  I can't wait until this stupid chemo ride is over...I hate stupid cancer!

I hope everyone else is doing well....

Mardibra

I hear ya Kelly....mad leg pain for me too. Only one more...only one more.

Sunrise79

Seacretgardn and Markat: I am doing better, thanks for asking. Still weak but getting stronger every day. My PCP wants me to go to my mom's for a couple weeks to regain strength and to avoid any more infections. It kills me to leave my kids. I told them tonight and my son took it the hardest. He is older so he understands more of what is going on. He also asked some tough questions and I answered him honestly. It's just a tough situation for everyone, especially the kids.

markat

Kelly my thighs have been killing me. Hope you get some relief.

Kelloggs

Thanks Markat. And Mardibra, I hate that you are in pain too....but it helps to know I'm not crazy.  I never expected chemo drugs to cause actual pain!  I am feeling a little better today...went back to work.  Thank God I only have one more TCH to go.....don't know if I could do any more.

Hope today treats everyone well, minimal SE's to all!

seacretgardn

Mardibra and Kelly, one more for each of you. I hope the time goes quickly and you feel better.



Sunrise it is tough on our families. I hope you regain your strength quickly.



Chilly here today in NJ but the end of the week will bring 60's.



Spring can't come too soon this year.



A peaceful day to all, feel well.

naan1004

I got some good news from my chemo nurse today, I thought I had to do chemo 16 times but turns out it is only 12, so I.m done with 3/12 treatment as of today without any delays I'll be done May 8, yay! Surgery should be soon after chemo is done.