Here's what cheezed me off today

Rockym

Thanks MOmmyof2, I am still trying to shake off the stress. Mom me called numerous times yesterday. She told me she was feeling better and apologized for upsetting me. I reassured her that I wasn't angry or upset with her, that I was frustrated with the situation. She knows her mind is coming and going and she gets scared. The best I can do is tell her I love her and that we will get her moved soon.

luvmygoats

Rocky - Lurker on here. Would the AL place put you higher up on the wait list IF you took the closet sized space only with a well written contract to get out for the bigger space? A pain in the patootie for sure to move twice and maybe more disconcerting for your mom than it's worth. Depends on the bigness of the facility. I've never been personally in that situation but I am a retired hospice nurse. I know you would make sure the contract is ironclad by the way you write so that your mom wouldn't be stuck in the closet sized space. I had a pt in a glorified bedroom space and she was morosely unhappy - though I think that was also her general personality. Same facility another pt with a much larger though still one room, had bed place, sitting place, eating place. Family was much happier - pt mostly non-verbal so hard to tell his feelings.

StillKicking

Well, it has been a while since I have complained here so let me catch everybody up:

Hit coffee table and broke toes more than once over last few months; something wrong with gall bladder; air conditioner just went out after paying $400+ for servicing last month (100+ degrees scheduled for next few days); gained more than 25 lbs this year and the list goes on.

But the worst of it, I'm sitting here waiting on test results to determine if I have something called monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance (MGUS) or full blown multiple myeloma, a rare cancer of the blood. If it is MGUS, it means being worried about cancer for the rest of my life. Ok, more worried than normal. If multiple myeloma, from what I've read, my prior BC treatment will be like a walk in the park compared to this one. Geez.

Wren44

Yikes! Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. Here's wishing for good results.

M0mmyof3

Everything worked out with the weekend of the 15th/16th and the two cookouts. My family had the birthday party/cookout for my niece on the 15th so we were able to go to that one and then attend the cookout on the 16th that was for our neighborhood association. Thought my brother was going to kill me when he saw the gift for my niece, I got her a My Little Pony coloring book. Was going to get her a book but couldn't find a book that would be just right for a 3 yr. old. So I got her the coloring book, didn't notice until I got in the car that there was also stickers inside. So I had to warn my brother and his wife that they might want to hide the stickers before my niece stuck them up all over the house! My brother reassured me that my gift was fine and the stickers would be hidden from sight and little fingers.

Wendy3

suebak I can totally understand the family thing. I have twin boys that are 17 and they need a reminder on occasion. I can't blame them I did always take care of stuff... However I figure this is my body telling me it's my turn to focus on ME.

M0mmyof3

What is it with people who are walking along a street as busy as mine with their dog and don't have it on a leash? Heard a dog getting hit by a car near my house today, needless to say that when I heard the dog's cries of pain I jumped up and looked out the window to see if the dog was seriously hurt. From what I could see it looked like the dog was relatively okay, but it made me mad as Hades to see that the owner didn't have a leash on the poor thing and it darted out into the street. The driver of the vehicle that hit the dog looked pretty shaken up.

My dog is never outside without me being close by. And when we take him out of our yard, he's on a leash! Why can't people take a couple of minutes to put their dog on a leash so they don't get hurt. My town has a leash law for cryin' out loud!

Rockym

How's this for cheezed... finally decided to pull the trigger and move my mom a few mile from me from her out of state location. I visited probably 10 places before finally picking the one I liked best. Today, I tried to seal the deal and my sales person is was on vacation so I'm dealing with a kid sales guy. When I tell him we are ready and I want all the papers, etc. to get things going... he tells me the place went up by $400 a month. I was so way pissed that he had the nerve to try to squeeze extra $400 out of me when this was already a rough time. I told him in an instant that the money he quoted would change everything and that was a deal breaker.

Next thing I knew he was back peddling and eventually told me he worked it out with corporate (yeah right) and that the original dollar would be it. Talk about cheezed! My mom isn't an effing car! I can't tell you guys how difficult this has been. I know I've passed along mom stories before, but really?? Anyway, it's been awhile since I've been ticked enough to share so there you have it!

M0mmyof3

I don't blame ya for being cheezed!

Wren44

Yikes, how awful! I would call and tell them the original sales person should have the commission.

mel147

Hi, Rocky -

I haven't been on much and I just saw your post. Wow! That is crazy to try to squeeze extra money out of someone in this situation - talk about low. Unbelievable! Since it's been a few weeks since your post, I'm hoping all is going well now and that your mom is settled in to the new place.

Take care!

Lisa

mel147

Back again to share what cheezed me off today. It was time for my yearly gyn appt. Unfortunately, my gyn was diagnosed with eye cancer and is no longer in practice. I chose to go to the same practice with a different doctor, so it was also a different nurse. They have all my records since I have been going there for 6 years. I went today without my breast prosthesis on since I knew I would just have to take them off anyway for the exam. The nurse was in quite a rush...I'm sure you all know where I am going with this. She does the initial blood pressure and pleasantries, then holds up some mammogram card and starts on her routine talk about where they are sending people. I just cut her off mid-sentence, pulled my shirt flat against my chest and said, "I have no boobs." She just looked at me with this "oops" expression on her face then started looking at the paperwork and commented about how one of the pages I was supposed to fill out was missing then she asked about cancer in the family. It's so stupid. Nothing has changed...whether stuff is written in your chart or typed in the computer, they don't pay attention to what is in your record and say stupid things. I got kind of used to it with always being asked about my last period when I had a hyst in 2003, but this one just really cheezed me. If the doctor hadn't been so good, I would just switch, but he was very thorough and good to talk to about things.

Rockym

Wow! Nothing for over two months?? Either we are all doing great and nothing is pissing us off or perhaps none of us have the time to bitch about it :-). I've had so many things cheeze me off, but then something comes around that is good to soften the blow. My mom is doing pretty well in her new community near me, but there have been challenges. She was sick for a couple of weeks and her dementia went wild. Needless to say this was scary as hell. She has gotten better, but I don't know if some of her problems are now permanent . This is the hard thing... not knowing if she will be her old spunky self or if she is slipping father away with her memory.

Things typically don't scare me much, but I didn't even go there the other day without calling an Alzheimer hot line first. I had no tools/experience on how to handle her, but they did help and she seems stable for now.

Hope everyone is having a good holiday season and I wish you all a fabulous 2016!

StillKicking

Confirmed its multiple myeloma. Well, it's at what they call the "smoldering" stage. Nothing to do about the 20% cancer cells in my plasma until it starts destroying my bones. I know this sounds funny, but I swear some days I can feel the cancer in my legs and fingers. Leave it to me to get a weird cancer.

Wren44

Sorry for your bad news. Although the alternative wouldn't have been much better. What treatment are they recommending? Nothing until the destruction of bones begins? I hope it continues to smolder for many years.

StillKicking

Pretty much. They have guidelines called "CRAB" to begin treatments. Stands for elevated calcium levels, renal (kidney failure), anemia or bone disease (they start breaking bones or you get lesions). Any of these signs means its time to start treatment.

M0mmyof3

That the big "C" has found its way to a friend of mine recently. Ever since the news came, I have been so furious with this crappy disease that I have wished countless times that I could find a way to destroy it so it never touches another person I know.

sas-schatzi

Stillkicking, I was trying to find Rohanna saw your post on Multiple Myeloma. Sorry, more chit. But wanted to pass along that I'm fairly sure it's a covered blood disease by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They have a Grant program. Grants up to 5000$. Please, go to their web site. Pm me if you have questions.

My DH had Lymphoma. He received two 5000$ grants. Every penny of the first grant was used. Only 150$ of the second grant was used.

They're is also a local chapters throughout the nation that gives a 150$ grant.

The national LLS fiscal year is from July 1st till June 30th. If you were approved for a grant now, it will pay for covered items back to last July 1st. What bills they cover are pretty broad. Insurance premiums, meds, co-pays office and hospitals, taxes, and much more. It's been awhile I forget what else is covered.

Hope this is enough info to get you started. Going to PM this to you too. Good Luck.

Anonymous

Greetings, Cheezers! Sorry to have been AWOL for so long, but I've been staying with my mother and taking care of her and it's a 24/7 kinda thing. Luckily, my sister has bought a house near her and can take on some of the work now. I hope. I've been trying to catch up on everyone and will be doing a lot of reading now that I'm home. Seems like years since I've been here. But you've all been in my thoughts and prayers! Love and Hugs!

Rockym

Happy to see you back rohanna! The "mom thing" can get wearing. Glad you have help. My mom's dementia requires patience that I never thought I had. Same questions, sometimes repeated phone calls because she forgot in the 2 minutes after we hung up that she already asked a question and it was answered. Often, I have to determine if it's worth it to call back. Most of the time she forgets and then the next time we talk she is happy as a clam again (and who the heck knows how happy clams are anyway??). I suppose it's the guilt of blowing her off when I know it's a repeat question. I think I spend more energy balancing her happiness, my family and my patience. Other then that all is well. I don't have much cheeze these days as my spunk has fizzled a bit, but what goes down will come back up and then watch out! :-)

Anonymous

Thanks, Rock! I think one of the saddest things is when my Mom asks "How is --------?" I don't have the heart to tell her over and over that the person she's asking about has passed away. I just tell her now that they're fine and on a long vacation. Lying like a boss! But what else can you do?

Wren44

Rohanna, If she believes in an afterlife, that's almost true. I agree that saving her the repeated sorrow is kinder.

Rockym

When my mom was having some desperate times, I called the Alzheimer's Hotline. Yay for the internet! I was so lost in how to deal with mom at that time and they told me to do exactly what you did rohanna. They said to lie to her about a few things to make her feel more at ease. When my mom kept asking about her car repeatedly, I simply told her it was sold. Eventually she asked how much I sold it for and who I sold it to. I had a hard time keeping my lies in order, but when mom was able to deal with everyday life again I just went back to the truth and all was fine. The good thing about dementia is that she doesn't remember what she went though. I can tell you guys that if you ever need support for a parent with memory issues, that hotline was the best. They counseled me for almost an hour on two or three occasions and even called me back the next day to make sure I was doing alright. It was a time when I really needed someone right away and they were educated and there.

M0mmyof3

Mom was at it again today with her pressure tactic to go to their house for Easter. I have so much going on this week into next week that I am about to snap. She got nasty with me because hubby and I aren't going there for Sunday. I felt like saying to her "why is it every holiday that comes along has to be done at your house? Why can't you come to mine for a change?"

Rockym

MOmmyof2, why didn't you say it? Tell her life is full of changes and celebrating at her house is something that just has to change sometime. You'd think she would be happy that you wanted to spend time with them :-)

M0mmyof3

The response I'd get to that is "we can't bring your brother and his family with us. So it has to be here." No matter what the occasion is, they take that opportunity to use it to prop up my useless brother and his nitwit wife and act like they are such "good parents" to my nephew and niece. Sure they are, that's why they are living with my mom and stepdad and hardly working!!!!!!!!!!

Rockym

...and then I'd say, well they are grown adults with a family and we would love to have them too. Of course it's their responsibility to come here and not yours to "bring" them. We'd love to see the kids too and hope they can make the arrangements. There is a terrific hotel down the road for a bargain, etc. etc. I know... this conversation is probably not going to happen, but ya never know ;-)

M0mmyof3

They will never get the point that I'm trying to make about the holidays. They just think that my hubby and I are made of money and can drop everything at a moment's notice to do for everyone else. Oh well, I'm just happy that I'm having a quiet holiday at home with my hubby and our furbabies.

funthing42

Hi

Here to get mad ! Here it goes. I so suck at it.

Ok so I'm practically in tears . So I called one of those 1-800 cancer helplines.(one of the good ones).I was pouring my heart out. Of course they can't give medical advice. Etc. But I asked how I can help my doctors help me by being prepared with options for my treatment in my dx.

I'm currently waiting approximately 2wks for this descion, ready to crack. Trying not to beg for mass quantities of drugs or move to Colorado lol. Not a fan of meds. the thought is there big time.

This is my fourth time with breast ca since 2009. Anyways it's in my axilla nodes opposite side of where I've had it in the past.

No breast never a chance of every getting them. Rads twice same side.

But wait I guess I could get one breast. Whatever.

Of course I'm babbling much more here than on the phone.

So her freaking recommendation after I told her my whole reccurrence dx.storie etc.

Was !!!!! Durm roll please. .....................!!!!!!!!

Talk to a social worker . WTF. I didn't tell her I need to get my affairs in order or have small children I can't care for . I would have preferred her to say see a shrink.

My onc's can't get it right. So the answer and cure for breast cancer is a social worker. SHIT who would have gathered this.

I told her not to insult me. I'm having a hard time dealing with monotone voices.

So ladies thanks for listening.

Wren44

Funthing, Sorry for the inadequate response. Must have been extremely frustrating. Ask your MO for a referral to a therapist who is experienced with cancer patients. It might be a social worker; there were a number working with patients in the mental health clinic I worked in. Sounds like you need someone for emotional support rather than practical ideas. I hope you're able to find someone you can work with and trust. (((((HUGS))))