Here's what cheezed me off today
Comments
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Oh, Elizabeth, that SO SUCKS! Unless she was lying under a semi, she has no good excuse. It's so strange how this friend thing works. Some people (and family) that I thought were close completely shut me out. But the good thing is, people I had lost touch with suddenly found me and supported me. And I made some good friends at rads and on these threads. Doesn't take away the sting when those you count on let you down though. I'm sending you a ((hug)). How many more treatments do you have?
As for the stupid neighbor, she's been keeping a low profile. Thinkin' about TPing her yard.
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rohanna, Neighbors... so neighborly... should've told her, "Wow, you haven't even had any treatments, so what's up with your hair?" I've got a feeling people are uncomfortable and just don't know what to say so the first thing that rolls off their lips is what dribbles out.
My vacation is nearing an end tomorrow (the one I took and put off my surgery for). Not looking forward to the surgery or upcoming results (back to the not knowing stage). I saw a cancer patient in the restaurant last night and she didn't have any hair and was wearing an LE sleeve :-(. It reminded me that my journey has only just begun.
I had to hold back my tears for the fact that I even knew what an LE sleeve was. It was only a couple of months ago when I knew nothing of this new "language." Okay, pity party over. Off to go surfing this morning! At least I'm not doing it with a port hanging out from under my arm. :-).
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rohanna: Thank you for your kind words. My friend and I have "sort of" made up. People certainly can be weird at times. Maybe they think cancer is contagious. As of today, I have 14 rads down and 19 to go. Getting near the halfway mark. Good luck with the TPing!
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Rocky, I'm so jealous! We have to wait until October to get to the beach. Seriously though, I hope you're having a great time. Treat yourself, you deserve it. Please keep us posted on your surgery. I am sending you prayers and hugs. Wish I had thought of that snappy comeback for the old bat but I had just complemented her on her bird's nest. Grrrrrr! I just told myself that my mama had raised me better!
Elizabeth, I have a great idea! The next time someone asks a stupid BC question or makes an inappropriate comment, I'm going to say, "Did you know it's contagious?" Then I'm going to b%$&#slap them on the arm, yell "Tag, you're it!" , and run away. Let's all do it! It'll be like a secret handshake! Thanks for the idea. I feel better already!
The halfway mark can be a little emotional so, don't let it blindside you. It passes pretty quickly. Week 3 was the hardest for me. This is my first week out of rads but I'm still exhausted and suffering insomnia. Have heard it will pass in another week and I sure hope so.Everyone, have a non-cheeze weekend!
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Happy Tuesday Everyone! It's been quiet in this group so I'm guessing all the stars are aligned and the cheeze factor is at a minimum. This is my last week before my kids go back to school and my surgery. Love the "tag" game rohanna :-).
Anyone have trouble deciding who to tell and who not too? Mainly my close friends and family know what's happening with me, but I haven't mentioned it to the "ladies" at school. It's the strangest feeling to be talking with someone about the new school year and be all matter of fact knowing they have no idea what's happening with me.
It's funny... at the end of the school year, I specially didn't take on any chairperson positions because I was thinking that I had no idea what was to come in my life and didn't want to commit. I couldn't even imagine being PTA president or something else now with what's to come.
Okay, so maybe my cheeze of the day is, "Who do I tell and will I be comfortable knowing people may talk about me when I'm not around? Of course they may do that already :-), but now I would know they were for sure."
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Rocky, I had only been retired for 2 months from the school system before I was diagnosed. I probably would have stayed on for another 5 yrs. but we were assigned the bitch principal from hell. She is the sorority sister type who befriends a handful of very young teachers and everyone else is on the s*&% list. She immediately started bullying anyone on staff over 50. Staff started transferring and resigning left and right. I couldn't stand how she treated our special needs children. I've been a SPED teacher for my last 15 yrs. and I couldn't do anything because her husband's on the Board. A friend at the school assumed she knew about my dx and talked to her about it. First, the bitch told my friend I was probably faking. Then when she found out it was true, she sent out a systemwide email asking for prayers(without my permission). Hypocrite! After my surgery, I went by the school to have lunch with the kids in my former classroom and she said "Stop by my office before you leave, I want to know how you're doing." First, I don't take orders from you anymore. Second, I have a phone and you have my email address if you want to know how I am. Third, kiss my ass. When I left the cafeteria, she waved me over to her table and I just turned my back and walked out. Dang, that felt good! P.S. I miss those kids so badly, I'm subbing. (IN ANOTHER SCHOOL!) Have a non-cheeze week!!!!!!
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Rockym, I'm an aide in an elementary school. Because I live in a small town (about 5,000) and the school system is small, (meaning the gossip flies around fast, lol) I knew everyone would find out anyway. So I was open to letting everyone know.(However, I'm stage iv and I only told that part to family members). That way, instead of talking behind my back, they were just able to come to me and ask how I was.
I was diagnosed in Jan, had chemo Feb thru June. Worked when I could. Everyone seemed very understanding. But now, this summer, after my lumpectomy and soon to follow radiation, I just don't feel like talking about my health to everyone. I want/need a break from the focus being on my health. Yes, I deal with it when necessary, but other than that, I want to escape it and be distracted from it. I go back to work in a couple weeks and not looking forward to all the questions.
So I'd say it's a mixed bag when you decide who to tell. Now when people, even family, asks about my health, I give a short update and change the subject. I know everyone means well, but I can only take so much.
rohanna, there's a principal in our school system who has similar traits to the one you describe, so I can't blame you for retiring since you were able.
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rohanna, I hate school/work politics! At least you were outta there and not dealing with that twit on a daily basis. I had a principal in our old school who was such a wimp. It was a private school (which we paid a lot for with 2 kids) and his balls were the size of peas :-). Had to get out of there. Couldn't stand looking at the guy.
As for her sending an e-mail out... I would have been livid! Heck my mother-in-law started to tell family (that none of us are close to) almost immediately and I was like WTF?? Now I rarely speak with her and just let my husband give her updates. Good for you for walking out. I never give people my time if they don't deserve it. Time is precious and reserved for happy, healthy conversations.
TheDivineMrsM, I understand the small town stuff. I'm in a fairly small community where everyone is only 1 or 2 degrees of separation away from each other. This is why I'm not sure about telling anyone (unless there is chemo in my future and then it would be obvious). My close friend who went through this 7 years ago (with chemo) said that when I tell someone, it would be like giving them a part of me and she felt like there were many people that didn't deserve to "have a part." I'm a little more open in my views and think that the majority of people are decent and may have good insight, etc. Oh well... I guess I'll know more as the school year begins.
If anyone has experienced good or bad from sharing... let me know. I'm way curious if anyone was actually screwed by sharing. This would confirm or disprove my friends thoughts!
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I woke up this morning thinking maybe I was going to feel a little better FINALLY. I even got up and gave the bathroom a good scrub. But of course, an hour later I was flat out on the couch exhausted. My husband walked in and told me that the US international credit rating had dropped and it was going to cause havoc. Then he said "You need to go back to work." I was speechless. We've socked away enough over the years for me to take off until I feel well. And he sends money every month to his mother (who doesn't need it and never worked) and an old college friend who is nothing but a greedy freeloader. He knows he'll never be paid back and doesn't expect to be. I'm so damned mad I don't know what to do. He said when I got my dx and I quote "I'm not going to be an as@#%le during this." Then proceeded to be the biggest one he could be. When he wasn't ignoring me. I drove myself to every treatment and appointment. I just want to punch him! Arrrgghh!
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HOLYMF , SOAB!
Can I just PUNCH someone for you rohanna? I haven't gotten to know you ladies on this thread lately but man, can I relate! Although I want to bitch out hubb at timesy, you and I both know they have a different way of "dealing" with all of this. I certainly hope that is the case here. I know mine thinks I am a complete hypocondriac at this point, wondering and worrying about each new ache and pain. CRAP! Can't we just grow old gracefully??
Sharon
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rohanna: What your husband said to you was so hurtful. I am sorry that you have to endure all this. No one can understand the impact that cancer has on your life until they are actually diagnosed with this dreadful disease, but we have the right to expect our husbands to be our biggest cheerlearders. You always have a support system here.
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Ok, just saw this thread....good one! So my son just walked in...I have a throbbing headache and he says "there is no food in this house!" My response "Get some?" At 17 he knows where the grocery store is at....he looked at me shocked.
Sorry your hubby said that....I am waiting for mine to say the same! But he will just say stuff like..."I have to be productive or I am not happy".....well it literally took me hours and hours to get the house organized this week, and so many other things unappreciated for...
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rohanna... what can I say... men suck! It's hard to ignore their bullshit comments. I'm sorry he didn't take a breath to think before just spouting dribble out. As for the mom and money deal... what's up with that??? You are probably the 5th person who has mentioned husbands sending $$ to their moms. Even my husband has this weird idea we should give his mom or sister $$. I'm glad I hold the checkbook because neither really deserve anything more than a birthday gift once a year. Maybe next time you could tell him "you know, when you say that crap it really shows your colors." Perhaps that will get him to think twice.
My husband was picking on me the other day. I happen to like lights on in our house because I like it bright and he runs around shutting them off so we can save electricity. Now, we are pretty comfortable so we don't need to save a $ and he isn't some environmentalist, but he was "reminding" me about leaving the lights on and a few other things I have forgotten these days.
I looked him in the eye and said, "Don't you think I have more important things on my mind these days then your bullshit lights?" Score 1 for rocky! He shut up quick and behaved today :-). Men suck!
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Thanks. Ladies. Thank God for people who can relate! Pup, feel free to punch anyone of the male species of your choice. Like Rocky says, MEN SUCK! Here's a ((HUG)) for Elizabeth and everyone. MRDRM, my twenty year old walked in and asked when I was going to do laundry. I said MAYBE DECEMBER! Rocky, his mother is the most passive/aggressive bitch that ever lived. She never worked a day in her life and she inherited her grandmother's house so she never had a mortgage. But she's always played the poor card and he's so p-whipped, he whips out the checkbook. When my daughter graduated, granny couldn't travel. One month later, she took a month long trip through the mountains of Virginia (which my DH paid for). BITCH!!!!!! And she never called me one time during this or sent a card or anything. BITCH!!!! Good for you for winning the lights debacle. I have a theory that testosterone rots brain cells. There can't be any other explanation. When little boys turn around 12 and puberty hits, their brains move south and that's it. From then on, testosterone brain rot! Ok, all together now, MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS SUCK!! Ahhhhh, better.
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OMG!! Passive/aggressive is the word alright. My MIL claims poverty too. She set herself up so that her daughter pays for almost everything (except they keep a ledger to keep track... ya right). As if his mom will ever pay his sister back. She also messed up her other son and unfortunately we can't even have a relationship with either of his siblings. One is toxic and the other is just a spinster who is afraid of so many things it isn't funny. I do have to say that yes, although men do suck... at least mine did come out okay with what he had to endure growing up. I think in the 27 years that I have tried to shape him, I succeeded somewhat :-). Of course, I'm still going to leave my f--king lights on!
My son just hit 13 and so far he is a doll. I'm hoping your theory is for the boys of our generation. My son makes sure to get at least 6 hugs from me a day (his number :-)) and overall he is extremely thoughtful. I'm hoping that I'm raising him to be a better man than those who can before him :-).
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I just got home from the pool with my 2 boys and boy was I glad to see this topic up on the boards because my 5 year old was thowing a full blown, all hell breaking loose, tantrum ALL THE WAY HOME on the bus and train! I have learned to tune out people and the way they look at me when this happens... from what the F*** is wrong with your kid to why are you torturing him? A woman was sitting on the bench next to us in the station while I had my son laying across my knees face down so that his feet, hands, teeth, fingernails, and head-butting skull could not reach my face and she kept trying to give him treats to make him feel better. I wanted to say, look B*t*h, he is only doing this 'cause he wants to get his way, and if I let go of him, he may start kicking, biting, scratching, punching, and head-butting YOUR face! Instead I calmly explained that if I give him a treat, he will know that he gets rewarded for this behavior, then hoisted him on my shoulders and walked away as he kicked his shoes onto the track.
Ah, I do feel better now, thanks for "listening"
One love, Jackie
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Rocky, we should buy our MIL's a one way ticket on a very leaky rusty barge! She p-whipped her oldest son so badly, he's 54 and has never dated! He lives home with Mommy Dearest and pays her utilities and phone bills. And my SIL....two words....psycho biatch! I'm so glad to hear that our generation has finally learned how to properly raise sons! My daughter thanks you! Your son sounds awesome, but of course, look at his mom. Well done!
jd, didn't you want to turn to that lady and say something like, "Look, Lady. It's sugar that made him this way. Now Back Off before I give him a pixie stick and a Red Bull and sic him on you!"
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------THERE IS A HEN HOUSE PARTY in OMG THEY FOUND A CURE FOR STUPID. iT'S BEEN QUIET FOR AWHILE. VEGGEY HAS KEPT IT GOING
http://community.breastcancer.org/102/topic/765586?page=122#idx_3635
EVENTUALLY TRY AND READ FROM PAGE ONE, IT IS A COMEDY CLASSIC------WORTHY OF THE OLD SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. MAKES FUN OF EVERYTHING. AROUND PAGE 40 SOMEONE CALLED US A BUNCH OF CACKLING HENS. tHAT WAS GOOD FOR ANOTHER 50 PAGES OF TOTAL NONSENSE-------YEAH.
PETERED OUT AFTER THE HUNDRED PAGE PARTY. PASS THIS ON TO WHOMEVER YOU WOULD THINK MIGHT ENJOY IT. AND GET YOUR SILVER HAT READY
sent this to people and threads did however get confused at times and may have had wrong namesin it------oh well it's them drugs LOL ------invite whomever you would like. I think I will make a knew silver hat. If things offended you , you will love this, everything is mocked just as Chevy chase and the original Saturday night live crew did it. All tongue in cheek----
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rohanna, You always crack me up! Sounds like we have similar lives in some ways although my hubby really pulled it together. Last night I had emergency surgery since I developed a nasty hematoma from my lumpectomy. Needless to say, It was quite an experience, but today he actually helped me shower and wash my hair. I had no idea I was going to have a drain sticking out of me. This is the 2nd time this happened. Had it on the 1st biopsy, but it went away on it's own and then I was cool for the 2nd biopsy so I figure the first Dr. just messed up. Last night when I realized it looked like I had a 3rd breast growing, I knew something was wrong. Anyway, all is better and hubby, my son and daughter are really helping out.
How old is your daughter? Thanks for the compliment about my son. I have to be careful these days to control my potty mouth around him. I have had much looser lips since this whole boob thing started. Must be a SE!
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Not sure if I call this being cheezed off, but my final pathology is in and it sucks! I was hoping for Stage 1, no nodes and ended up with some weird node involvement. Tumor is now considered 1.2cm and not .7cm, but that's not as bad a the fact that SNB had no cancer, but 2 nodes that were on top of and next to the tumor were positive. I'm thinking... well heck if you were laying on crap, then you'd probably have some crap on you too :-). It doesn't mean you picked up the crap and you're carrying it around the house with you.
Okay, gross analogy, but now I have to wait for the Oncologist to tell me what he thinks. Oh joy! Hope everyone else's day is better :-).
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Dang, Rocky! I'm so sorry to hear about the crap you're going through. I'm sending up prayers for you right now. Please keep me updated. Oh, and my sweet daughter is 20. Potty mouth really is a SE to BC. And my fuse is getting shorter and shorter!
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Rockym: Sorry about the bad news on the pathology report. I hope the oncologist will have a good treatment plan for you--one that both of you agree is good. Please let us know what happens.
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Thanks for your thoughts rohanna and Elizabeth. MO appointment wasn't what I wanted to hear. Looking forward to my RO on Thursday. MO just went straight to the chemo talk without even talking about any less aggressive treatment first. Oh well. I suppose I'm off for a 2nd MO opinion. Elizabeth, your dx looks close to mine... did they throw the chemo discussion at you right away?
Okay, now for the "What someone did to tick me off today." There I was getting some groceries when I realized that I was at the checkout counter and had 2% milk instead of 1%. Anyway, I mentioned that I made a mistake and could they send someone back to swap them out. As I was waiting, the line behind me was getting longer. After a few minutes, I told the checkout lady that I could have gone back and exchanged them myself already.
So I wait some more. Finally, a worker comes with one bottle, not the two needed and has the wrong stuff with her. I had 15 minutes to get my groceries home and get off to the MO appointment so I slipped with my potty mouth (again) and said, "F--k! How hard can this be?" Then I walked to the back and did it myself. The worker was still standing there not being able to figure out how to tell the difference between the different types of milk. I looked at her and said, "A high school diploma comes in handy sometime!" She wasn't even one of the "slow/disabled" people they have working there. Man I was ticked. As if I wasn't nervous and on edge already.
So, the moral of the story... Don't go grocery shopping when you are crunched for time and have an important appointment to get to :-).
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Rockym--------when the poop hits the fan, it just splatters everywhere. Sorry babe. This sucks
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Hi Rockym: What a miserable grocery store experience. I hope your next trip there will be better.
Yes, we do have similar diagnoses and I hope we will both have excellent prognoses. I saw my BS before the I saw the MO after the pathology report unexpectedly found a positive lymph node. He pushed for chemo and called the MO who agreed with him. They did not have to convince me because I felt in my gut that it was necessary for me. Everyone is different and it may not be the best route for you. If you do choose chemo, it might not be so bad. My side effects were controllable and the infusion nurses were incredibly kind.
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Hey ladies, saw my RO today and I am in better spirits. Hopefully I won't be verbally attacking any clerks the rest of the week :-). I found out I am not Stage Ib, but really a Stage II and that the grade is 2. I'll know after I get my results from the Oncotype test what my treatment will be. It took me about 24 hours to digest what the MO said. I get about a week or so to try to physically recoup from the two surgeries and then the news will come.
I went in to work today (I volunteer) and I was much better at controlling my potty mouth so that was a plus :-). I do find that I'm more open in telling people how much I like my tits and that I do feel fortunate that I still have them. It's not all bad :-).
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Rockym: With us, you can vent as much as you like. We are always here for you. Good luck with you Oncotype test.
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Hi Rockym, sorry of the lymph node news and grade change. I went from grade 1 to grade 3 after surgery tests, and that was disheartening. And yes, the chemo "when" discussion began soon after. I,m done with it all and got my first clean, cancer free dignosis this week. (9 months since my chemo finished) Its been a long year, and i also love the moments when i can forget about this. Getting more often, than not.
In the meantime, just know people like us are with you all the way.
My personality is not quite as tolerant as it used to be, people that used to bug me REALLY bug me now!
It,s ok we earned our badges! -
Rocky, can I just say, I f&%#in' love you! Can't tell 2% from 1%! I'm still laughing! Hope you get some good news soon. You deserve it!
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I work as an elementary school aide so have been on vacation this summer. Yesterday we had an all-school meeting. I've stopped wearing my wig; my hair is 1/4 to 1/2 inch long. Most everyone at the meeting took it in stride; they all knew of my situation. One teacher asked me if my hair had fallen out our did I cut it that short? It seemed like she was implying that I cut it short for attention. That irritated me. As if I would really cut my hair so effing short.
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