INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Chevyboy

Sass, sometimes our kids just aren't in to the same things we are.... But in that case, I would just hold onto the stuff you think would be important to them..... If they mean a lot to you, just hang onto them, and display them where it makes you happy....

Find something else he likes.... His tastes may change.... I kept so many of my Mom's things.... A lot were in her China Cabinet, and some were scattered in her drawers, in mirrors, etc.! I kept her poems she clipped out.... then I gave some of the little things to my girls, and they mean as much to them, as they did to her....... I have a big plastic bin with our "old stuff" from them.... Even this dress my Mom used to wear all the time... It still smells like it used to! And I have 5 of her diaries.... Each one is 5 years worth of her memories when she was growing up, and when she was dating my Dad... I've read them a few times.... I have to get them out and read them again.... And her high-school ANNUAL! The old cards and letters Mom and Dad gave to each other...

THOSE things are who I am.... I feel so close to them when I can see and touch their "things".... I kept their Drivers Licenses... Dad's old Navy pin... So it's alright if your Son isn't as excited as you are when you give him something "special".... He is STILL so young!

Brandon saved this rock, taken from the Warden's House on Alcatraz... I met him in San Francisco when he was 11... And we both have so many special memories of "our trip".... He kept that little rock all these years.... AND a fork he took from "our special Restaurant" we went to on Pier 39. It was a little crab-fork.... Ha!

It meant so much to him, because we went to a nice EXPENSIVE restaurant! He fell asleep driving back across the SFOAB bridge that night.... Geez, I wish I could go back to that time...........

Jazzygirl

Hi ladies- good day today and another call for new work. Can I clone myself? About to get VERY busy. But busy is good!

I had a massage today and my gal told me she is closing her business. Not surprised, as she has gone back to school to get an accounting degree and told me she may have to do this and guess she has decided the time is now. We will do one more short massage for my feet later this month and that will be that. We have become friends so I hope to be able to see her from time to time, but think it is totally great she is doing something for her longer term career needs. I am always reminded nothing is permanent, right? We have like 3000 massage therapists in the state, I bet I can find another!

Tang- I have been to Jordan and much of it is more developed than most people realize. It was that way almost 30 years ago when I visited. Amman Jordan is a very cool city. I hope you like the young man, and think most couples can overcome cultural differences. Sometimes it is important for young folks to know how their partner feels about moving back, which many want to do.

Rosevalley

Sassy- glad to hear things went well. No I never tried the Ibrance and it is still in the bottle sealed. Anyone know of Patty's address? I think she takes it now. The onc I have now didn't think it would work anyway- well I said I didn't think it would work and she agreed sort of. At any rate it never got opened cause I lost my motivation once the maligant ascites set in. Anyway on Tuesday we only drained 550cc and I got all excited thinking maybe the herceptin was working, since I always fill 1200. Poop. Today 1200cc off.. so 1750 for the week. About the same. Always the same... treading water. I do so love this catheter and need the stitches out. I nap after the draining.. makes me tired. Weird. I never feel good, just worn out sore knees and joints. sigh... Next dose Herceptin Wednesday, hoping no chills and shaking. My eye sight is going and my night vision really is scary. No night driving at 57..ugh. I feel kind of numb emotionally.

I think the Halloween dress will be really cute when it's done. It's something I can do, sit and sew ribbon and lace and doll it up. DD1 will just love it and enjoy being pinkified! She loves pink and regularly gives me pink ribbon posters to "have courage and be strong Momma"... these drawings break my heart too. My DD3 is giving me much heart ache. SHe is trying her best but the deaf school here has low numbers of normal kids and high numbers of special needs kids - resources are tight. My kid has struggled with English and basically has stalled out in 3rd grade for 6 years... we keep telling the school to try new things and stop doing the same things/ approach cause it isn't working. She does better in math,unless it's word problems. They blame my daughter for failure to progress; nothing they can do. There are just a few kids at grade level and a huge swath below grade level. The standards are low and Oregon is a poor state with no sales tax and 120 kids at the deaf school can be written off. It makes me so sad. She's a good kid and worthy of support and education and I am sure if we could find the right way in, we could crack the "English code." ASL (American Sign Language) is her first language and is not written, so English is a second language. But my DD3 said to me over lunch.. " I will never get a diploma Mom, no college no school; why bother trying? Why study? What for?" I could have choked on my soup. To be just 14 and feel like there is no hope? She's basically right.. too far behind to ever catch up and meet standards to get a regular diploma. I don't have the stamina to homeschool her and she needs deaf peers for socializing and sanity. When I visited in Jacksonville (November) I drove to St Augustine just to see the school for the Deaf in Florida. It's so much bigger 600 kids, more resources and beautiful and has a good reputation. If I had my health I would move there just to get DD3 access to a better school more opportunities. Life is hard. Cancer sucks.

Thanks for listening. DD2 is doing really well at work (got a quartly bonus) and in her sophmore year at college. Yeah! Thankful for that!

I kind of agree with Sassy on Jordan being sunlight in the desert, progressive and good to it's people. Hope this new person is a winner. I love all the balloon pictures. be well. Have a great weekend.

magdalene51

Chevy, I'm the same way. I have so much of my mom's stuff, and boxes of letters she and my dad exchanged while he was at sea in the Navy. And treasures she collected when we lived in "Occupied Japan" in the 50's, and that my dad picked up in China (before the Communists took over). And out of 6 kids, I am the only one who wanted anything except her jewelry. I have some wonderful things, but what good do they do?

susan3

Rosie, we have friends who sent their deaf child to a " bonding"?school fir the deaf. Don't know if I could have ever sent my daughter away. Such tough decisions.

We are about the same age. Me too...cried yesterday...tired of treating sideeffects.

Oh well...cancer world is a rollercoaster

Hope I can sleep tonight. So tired but can't sleep. Spent the day in the bathroom. I'm exhausted

mema4

Wow, you ladies are busy. It has always been hard keeping up here.

First, those items....you keep those items because they are so very dear and I get that 'cause my sister is like that. But, there's always a but with me, someone will take them out of your home someday so you have to figure out where you want them to go. My daughter's stuff, it's time her children get to enjoy those memories and what better way than all those pictures and toys and items that would never see the light of day with me other than to cry over. Her childhood lives in my heart. My mom and dad, I have kept the most important items but only a few because nothing can remind me of their smells, their ways or anything that important so again, it's in my heart. I don't want to see things buried under dust and high up on a shelf. I want them out and in the light so I'm giving everything, but two or three small items, to my grandchildren. When I die, those items I'll leave to them but I might just have them cremated with me. Nothing says I can't!

We are hosting a baby shower tomorrow. Good heavens, I so dislike this work and it was not my idea. My stepson (love this kid) and wife are having their first child, a son. It's my DH's first grandchild other than mine. My DD is being such a toot to me that I haven't seen them in months so this has been a distraction along with a new kitten. I forgot to take any meds today until about 4 pm as we have his late Dad's girlfriend visiting from Palm Springs. I would prefer to be the visitor instead of the hostess. When I get cranky I'm tired and had 3 ladies here tonight giving me directions on what to do. I just wanted to tell 'em all to shut up and do what I say! Guess I shouldn't have missed those meds! But I didn't however I'm not speaking much to DH. I hate when he rolls his eyes with this old rich biatch. He gets too much "yes sweetie" from her. Her ass is headed back to CA Sunday.

Sass, glad to hear you clear for a year but I know there is more to that story. And you keep your pretty stuff for you! Kids don't really appreciate things the way our generations do/did. Don't save anything - put it on display!

Better take a few pills and see if I can start to shut down. Glad to hear Patty is up and running, sort of. I'll BBL....

Rosevalley

Susan- Hugs to you on this miserable path. Great big hugs. What wouldn't give to offer you something more potent to make the cancer creeper go away. Lovingkindness and hugs to us all.

Chevyboy

Ah Rosie.... I know you'll find a way............ Can you find some kind of ombudsman, or advocate, or just someone else to help you find more resources? Or going on a different path to get where you need to be?

Don't want your little girl to feel this way at her age.... SURELY something else can be done, or found to help out... Have you ever thought of writing an open letter to your newspaper? Or do you have a TV channel, that helps people get out of a situation? We do here... when someone needs something done, and no-one will help them......... Or wait.... Is there some sort of private tutoring that the deaf school knows of? Since THEY aren't helping, maybe just SOMEone knows who can help break through to your Daughter!

It's just that when it comes to our kids, we don't want ANYbody holding them down, or making them feel "less" than what they are! And as Mom's we feel like shaking the holy hell out of anyone or thing taking away their dreams! Damnit!

Good Morning Susan......... hang in there kid.... some days are worse than others, as so many of you know.... but just keep thinking tomorrow will be better....

Memma... You are right... Those memories mean so much to us..... After my Dad passed away, and my Mom the year before, it was like I had to put so many of their things on the walls or dresser! DD came over once and said "It looks like a shrine in here".... And then our little dog Lacee was gone, and I still have some of her things on a stand with her ashes.... It's okay.... if it makes us feel closer to them, that's alright.

And go take your pills! You are going to scare those people.... If I was there, I would just look at you and say... "Oh! We forgot our pills, did we?" But I would hold your hand and bring them to you... with a glass of water... or Vodka.... same thing. ANY company is sort of a strain after awhile.... We need peace and quiet.... and a chocolate coke.

Jazzygirl

Good morning friends

Susan- I am sorry things are hard for you right now. Sometimes a good cry gets out a whole lotta frustration. That being said, I am sorry you are not feeling well and hope you were able to sleep and have a better day. Hugs sister.

Mema- I can relate to your desire to not host a party. I definitely don't enjoy having parties anymore, too much work and being single, not really much help. I like to have dinner parties with friends here, got one next weekend.

I hope things go okay today and that you can veg tomorrow.

Chevyboy

Oh Mags, I forgot.... SOME times you look at things and think, okay, I can give this away now.... but ask first! If it won't mean as much to someone else, then keep it........ put it all in your special box, or trunk, or shipping container....(see? that was funny.).... but you will still have it all. My oldest Daughter still has little things she remembers from my Mom that I gave her....

My Dad gave my Mom this pretty little "baby-doll" that she saw in the store, so Dad gave it to her for her Birthday one time.... She kept it on their bed on the pillow.... Well I took it after she passed away..... And since DD#2 has her own doll collection, I finally gave it to her.... I couldn't stand it.... I needed that doll home with me.... so I asked for it back... And she's on my bed.

susan3

Chevy called me a kid.....ha ha

Thanks for all your well wishes. I did finally fall asleep last night and slept well. Got about 4 hours before bathroom call. That was beautiful.

Since I have been spending so much time in bathroom, I have developed many excerceises while sitting on the toilet. Do you think there is a u tube video in there somewhere?? Uhmmmmm

Jazzygirl

Susan- glad you slept better and for awhile before the bathroom summoned you. Wishing you a better day with SEs. You still have your sense of humor, I can see that much!

Rosevalley

Susan a video! Ohhh you are brave. I have so many intestinal issues and have for so many years that I know all the best bathrooms and just how long it takes to scramble off the freeway and get to them. Important information! Your sense of humor makes me smile!

Got a PM asking why I am not on the tried and true combo taxotere and perjeta (sp?) in addition to herceptin since my markers decided to flip. I was offered taxotere when I developed ascites before I asked them to test the fluid. I declined since taxol made me so miserable I simply couldn't stand it. I couldn't even feel my feet after the 4th dose and after the 3rd dose of taxol I had big blisters on the bottom of my feet! The thought of more of that taxol/taxoterrible road just wiped me out. I don't know about perjeta. I assume there will be markers drawn next week and we can discuss then. I want quality of life at this point and have not read that any intervention stops ascites, so if the side effects are icky I won't do it. I have enough icky. My left lymphodema arm is aching and tight under the arm pit.. very uncomfortable this morning.

Chevy I love the doll! Comfort critters. I have a stuffed otter (fav wild animal) and a little fuzzy chemo bear my DH gave me that I keep on the bed. One is never too old for some thing to ease life's rough patches and make a smile. I will see what I can do to find a tutor at the local university that has special ed/ deaf ed and education majors. We tried getting a student this summer and the gal we found could only do it one week before class committments changed for her. I will keep on it. I shouldn't get so disgusted and depressed, since there are adults who never learned to read and did so later in life, going to college and making a life. Still to hear a 14 year old sign to me what's the point in working hard or bothering to even try is jaw dropping. This kid needs to learn to read and write English to be employable. She has no speech and open cavity cochleas, so she doesn't even have enough of the sound spectrum from her cochlear implant to learn to speak. Nothing science or medicine can do to fix it. She will be ASL dependent and deaf for life. Off to get a little done.

Be well.

Chevyboy

Rosie, I just wish I could give you and your Daughter a big hug.... wish I could help....xoxoxo

magdalene51

My cousin is going back to work, part time, and is trying to get her ducks in a row before she does. She's almost 79! Anyway, one of the things she's been doing is helping me organize my closet since it got so messy when I was going through tx. She did a bunch of laundry and folded it and put it in the guest room. Today she said it was time to finish and brought it all into my bedroom and stacked it on the bed. I've sorted and organized and put things away, and determined that I have too many clothes. You would not believe it.

Anyway one thing I finally did is pull out all my bras. There are maybe 2 I could wear with my knitted knockers, and the rest I have no idea what to do with them. What do you think? Some of these are pretty expensive. 44DDDs don't come cheap.

Chevyboy

Mags.... Just keep the ones you can wear, or really like.... And give away, or take them to a shelter, or somewhere like Good-will....

I did this too.... I had a few that got too big... in the cup....So I cut down to the tip, made a pleat, and stitched it back together, to make the cup smaller.... I had a LOT of bra's to.... but I just put them all in a bag, and took them up to the "Treasure Trunk".... Families can go there, and if they don't have money, it is given to them.... Otherwise the things are sold...like a thrift shop.

Also, if they are too big around, you can shorten the width... I mean the expensive ones can be made to fit.... But doesn't it feel good to get things organized?

Wren44

Mags, If there's a local domestic violence shelter, ask them if they could use them. So many women get away with only the clothes on their backs. And you're right - those large cups do not come cheap.

Jazzygirl

Mags- funny you should mention the closet because that is where I am working today. I have too many clothes too, and been working to thin things out for awhile. I have more things hanging to go to consignment, and a big bag for donations working too. My closets are too crammed and I cannot even see the clothes I have.

Women's shelters are a good place for night clothing and bras. They will take most any kind of using clothing, except perhaps for bathing suits and underpants. They will also take extra shoes, linens, house hold items. I found a new place this year that seems so appreciative of my donations. I am taking everything to them now.

It will be nice to have the space in your closet to access things more easily that you will use now. Kuddos for your cousin for continuing on with work!

Chevyboy

Mags.... I found a woman's shelter through the local Police Department.... And Jazzy is right.... Some women run away in the middle of the night... and these shelters run facilities, like "The Treasure Trunk"..... And you just drop things off... Even for children, not only Women.... I have taken bedding, kitchen-wares.... EVERYthing.....

One time, I went with our Company after we had a clothing drive.... This shelter is for the kids of broken homes, and kids who's Parents just don't want them, or who have been taken away.... Man, it was heart-breaking to go through this place, on a tour.... So I kept going back, and just dropping stuff off.... for their own little private place, like a bedroom they shared....

Actually The Treasure Trunk IS for the children and battered women............... Just different facilities.....

You guys, just a note.... DRINK LOTS OF WATER! My older friend just got back from the Hospital.... She was getting worse...It was not High Altitude sickness, like they thought.... She was DEHYDRATED! She had to go last night, but is back now, feeling a little stronger.... I promised her I would drink more water, if SHE would..... It can really be dangerous!

Take good care!

susan3

I went through my closet too. Two gigantic bags gone. But of course I bought a few more comfy things

Woodylb

Rose,

Perjeta makes herceptin works better and they work together as a first line in her2 , the taxol is only for six months. Though you are right taxol is a tough chemo . It caused me neuropathy and the aftermath takes longer than other chemo to recover from, but it was very effective with the her2 therapies. While there are no known intervention to stop ascites but if the tumors in the liver are totally reduced , the ascites will dicrease . My quality of life during treatment was ok , i just got tired towards the end of taxol and took cymbalta to lessen neuropathy which helped a lot.

Still i truly hope herceptin makes a difference with minimum side effects .

Be well

mema4

Susan, please no bathroom vidoes here! Lordy! You always make me smile. And Chevy, NOOOOOOO, that doll has eyes!

Mags, I loaded a box of wonderful bras and took them all to the shelter. Can't do better than that especially when you run off in the middle of the night. My mom did that one night so I get it. You don't always have time to get things.

Shower was wonderful, DH's exwife was here and all was fine. 3 hours was long enough for me . Took an hour nap cause had to get up too early. Still have company but it flies west tomorrow!

queenmomcat

sigh. Gonna be one of the insomniacs tonight, Hospital, two-hour antibiotic IV will do that to you.

Enerva

Smarty I made one for a little girl this week

Mags sorry about your friend.

Chevy u are right every time one of our relatives or friends get c it Hurst us so much

magdalene51

Wait, you guys are getting rid of clothes? I just organized so I can find all the ones I have! See, I hate doing laundry. So I have enough clothes that I don't have to do it very often. Now I'm embarrassed. But Jazzy, you know, when you run your own business, and you're in the midst of a huge project (I used to do 400 page catalogs) sometimes laundry has to wait. I would would normal hours the first few months, then for 3 or 4 months it would be 12 hour days, sometimes 18 hour days, my husband called it "catalog mode" because I was so focused nothing else mattered.and I would do that 7 days a week until it was printed. I remember going on vacation to New Orleans, meeting up with my son and his family, and we'd scheduled it for after the book went to the printer, and there I was in the dining room of our condo, making page corrections on my laptop and sending them to the printer while everyone else was out partying. But when it's your business you do what you have to do. And that's why my back is so messed up. And also why I have so many clothes. And that's my story.

Yes, I want to donate the bras to a women's shelter, just have to find one first. I have some second hand experience. My younger sister was married to an abuser. She called my brother one night in the middle of the night, from a phone booth in Bangor, Maine, after her husband had chased her with a CHAINSAW!!! My brother the lawyer called in some favors, got someone from the local shelter to pick her up and get her on an airplane to us. She was black and blue all over. A few days after she arrived, a guy I was friends with (just friends) from church choir came by to pick us up to go to my mom's for a little get together. She walked out the door and his eyes fell out of their sockets. They were married a year later, and he adored her to the day he died, too soon, of cancer at the age of 49, leaving her with two kids, age 6 and 9. Sad story. She has another good one now though. Her son has never gotten over losing his dad though.

Chevyboy

https://www.google.com/search?q=dunedin+new+zealan...

Good Morning Spookie! I was reading my Brother's FB page, and somehow, one of the guys posted about Dunedin! Thought you might like this...

Chevyboy

What did she just say? I mean Mags! She's talking about printers and condo's and corrections, and she sounds like Phyllidon'tknowwhothehellsheis! You mean correctional institution? Or something like that?

Yes... We all hear of those women who need to get away from an abusive marriage... or relationship.... Sometimes they are so in love with this guy, that they just stay, or keep going back for more. The average abused woman will leave and return 5 times! And any kind of abuse .... is abuse. Whether it is mental or physical....

Good morning Woody! Thanks for popping in here, and talking to Rosie! We need all the help we can get.... I myself just can't do it all.... because there is very little that I know anything about....

Queenly! WHAT HAPPENED? Are you okay? Now?

Mema! Isn't she supposed to have eyes? But I have her laying down, on a little crochet blanket, and her eyes are closed... Am I supposed to be watching her?

queenmomcat

Chevy: the short answer is "erysipelas that didn't respond to oral antibiotics" plus a sensibly cautious PCP. Three two-hour infusions of vancomycin in 24 hours later I'll allow as how I look considerably less like an extra from a cut-rate George Romero knockoff but we'll see what the attending has to say today. Actually got a whole four continous hours of sleep last night without the aid of benadryl.

Chevyboy

Aw geez! I just looked it up! AND saw a picture! But at least I'm glad you got some sleep! How did your infection get to that point? That's what it was, right?

I had a "severe allergic reaction" one time.... scared me when I looked in the mirror... ER, lots of Benadryl in oil, plus Adrenalin, but mine was from an allergy build-up shot... So I kind of know what you went through.... I'm sorry....

Chevyboy

And now I know who George Romero is!