INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Loveroflife

Jazzy, I had lunch at a friend's home one time. Dropped my napkin on the kitchen floor, so I bent down to grab it. While I was down there, saw a few food crumbs and couldn't resist not picking them up. She still teases me about it

Spookiesmom

Hahaha. That couldn't happen here. One of the 4 footed hoovers get any crumbs.

Chevyboy

Hi Gypsy! Yes, I know.... I guess I could ask her some stupid question just to see what she says! Hah! I remember when my Grandson was about 10... He was showing me how to do things on my $100 computer, that I bought at the flea market! I was amazed at the technology, and that was about 20 years ago! But I really DO read news reports, and reviews of things before I buy them....... Windows 10 seems to have done away with IE! So I downloaded Firefox, and use Chrome..... I am so used to AOL for my email and "favorites".... Even though they seem to be way behind in their technology!

Do any of you know anything about Neuropathy of the feet? Like on the bottoms?

Theresa, my 90 year old neighbor in Assisted Living is having trouble with the bottoms of her feet... They feel like she is walking on "sand"...???

She can wear SOME shoes, but other newer ones, really bother her.... Does it sound like Neuropathy or something else? She is selling me her new slip-ons for just $10.... They fit me great.... but I told her I would ask what is wrong with her stupid feet!

Boyd748

Sas-Schatzi,

Sorry I asked so many questions, and if I annoyed anyone else I am sorry. I am new to all this and scared. This is one post that people are actually on and I was trying to get a little support because I feel so alone in this, my husband is supportive but just doesn't understand. He says there is nothing he can do about it so don't talk to him about it. I just thought maybe the more I know and understand of what's normal the less scared I can be of the unknown and be ableto stop crying so much and move forward. Thank you all very much for putting up with me and a big thank you to those who answered my questions. I won't be bothering you on this post anymore. Thanks again and best wishes for you all!

Rosevalley

Ilene welcome sleep is horrible after all the BC crap. I finally got a PCP to give me 5mg of ambien. It is a wonderful wonderful thing! I take it every night and finally feel like I have some sleep. Now I take percocet with it for sore ribs..and to shut my feet off when they get peeved from being swollen. Taxol neuropathy is so fun!

After reading all the comments about Taxotere I am so very glad I bailed. My last oncologist (the one I had when the ascites started) wanted me to do Taxotere.. ugh I declined. I still suffer from the effects of Taxol.. no thanks. I made it home late late last night. I will not miss the smoking at my Mom's house oy. I will miss the cicadas, cool noisy frogs and watching the tropical birds. Nice and cool here no humidity. I cancelled the hospice here in town- they had no inpatient and need to talk to PCP about options. My insurance only allows 5 days inpatient respite without leaping through hoops to get clearance. If I stay off hospice, I have 180 days coverage long term care/ rehab type coverage. Hmmm No in home help with hospice, there must be someone available in the home. DH works full time. What do single folks do? The hospice folks asked me if I had any good friends.. you need to be a very good friend to wipe your butt! Hahaha

Smarty very cute DGD and she is very excited about the baby! Love the line up with all the boys and one girl! Loverly- the shepard ring bearing will be a highlight! Have a safe trip! Chevy love your transformation of the sidewalk strip. Jazzy I want a friend with OCD who will come and clean our cupboards and frig! What a great friend. Mags pretty funny post about pms add and ocd.

Hi Patty! Howdies to all I missed.

MarlanaB

Hi, Eeyore--my childhood nickname is Pooh (long story about 10-20 pages back).

Lovely--scars can be a nice accessory, depending on how you look like it.

Chevy--nice job. My local colloquialism (my 10 point bonus word of the day!) for that area is the parkway. I'll have to look into Windows 10...my brother's long term girlfriend is a Microsoft programmer that works on their VIP response team and fixes broken code...basically flies to wherever some company has jacked up their system and fixes it. I like to tell her she's the Roto-Rooter of the computer world.

Sas--you and my mom are having more and more in common. She's also got ADHD and OCD. The OCD was worse when she was working but got better after she stopped working to become Mom's Taxi Service in the mid-80's. The ADHD has really stepped up since then coupled with panic attacks when she feels like she's got too much cleaning/organizing to do and she's not getting it done.

Jazzygirl

Boyd- if you are still here, I sent you a PM with some more info on the process. I hope it helps.

debiann

Boyd, you're not bothering us, we've been there and we know what you're going through. The unknown is scary.  The sooner you get your biopsy the sooner you'll know if its cancer. If its not you can stop worrying. If it is, the first weeks are the most difficult because you are hit with so much imformation and difficult decisions may need to be made quickly (like lumpectomy or mastectomy). Once you have a treatment plan in place it gets a bit easier.

Sometimes friends and families, especially husbands, don't know how to react or support us. That's why this forum is so important to all of us. You can always come here to laugh, cry, bitch or whine.

So, take our advice, get the biopsy ASAP. In the meantime, try to remain calm, worry isn't going to change the situation. Accept that you "may" have cancer. If you don't then celebrate. If you do, then you need to be prepared to face it and begin treatment. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have hope, you just need to be emotionally ready for bad news too. 

And no, a cancer mass is not going away on its own. Of couse there are rare stories of spontaneous remissions, miracles,  ect, few are documented to be true and most are legends passed around by word of mouth. If you have cancer, or even a pre-cancerous condition, you will need some type of treatment to stop its growth.

Blessings to you.

Boyd748

Thanks Diabann,

I had a lymph node removed in 2007 that they said might "grow back" and to be aware of any signs of cancer but they didn't do anything to help prevent. If it is cancer I want a mastectomy personally I don't want to take chances, whether it can be done and save my nipple or not is up to surgeons. If I knew for sure it was cancer than I wouldn't be as concerned I would just be getting ready to fight! My doctor did say even if it's not cancer he might see if insurance will let me get a mastectomy anyway. I've was told years ago I would at some point most likely get breast cancer.

Loveroflife

Boyd, I just sent you a PM also. You are not bothering us at all. The anxiety and not knowing is the worst

Spookiesmom

I PMd her too.

Spookiesmom

Chevy, i first started with PN around 2000, when I didn't pay attention to my diabetes. Feet felt a little numb, like Novocain from the dentist. Then the chemo Taxotere did a nasty job on me. They are more numb, and it's on top of my feet, above my ankles.

There isn't a cure for it, only meds that MAY help, Lyrica, Cymbalta, neurontin.

If this is something recent, she needs to tell her doc, as what she's feeling could have several causes.

I use this stuff from Walmart, it feels nice and cooling when my feet burn.

Spookiesmom

Hey Rose so sorry you got to see us at our soggiest!!!!!Suns been out 2 days without a drop.

Wren44

Boyd, Your husband might like directions on how to be supportive. Tell him you want a hug and him to tell you will be OK either way. Men think we want them to fix things.

I had an ultrasound guided needle biopsy. I was scared, but they gave me some Novocain and it didn't hurt after that. I think something like 80% of biopsies are benign. If you don't have a biopsy you will always wonder. Better to find out for sure.

We are very willing to listen to your concerns. I think we can all remember how lost we felt at first.

Loveroflife

Rose-seems like a tough decision you are facing hugs.

Ms. Spookie, I hope the shepherd can stay focus and tune out her prey instinct when the birds or any small creatures decide to visit us during the ceremony.

Marlana and Frey, you are better today??

Rosevalley

I can't get over how insurance blocks everything. We have Providence Catholic insurance and they wont let us use the Legacy System which I prefer. We had lots of really good experiences with Legacy and our kids. Well the only inpatient hospice in Portland is owned by legacy and it's lovely. Nothing local. Only other option is in a town South of here half hour and I am not sure that would be covered. But our state contract states 120 hours inpatient on hospice period. Pathetic. They show all these lovely facilities on the hospice web sites but they are all "adult foster homes" for dying and not one of them is covered by our insurance. The hospice I saw has one and I can't use it. Providence Catholic Insurance will dump me in the nastiest nursing home in town, but not this nice ^hospice facility geared for dying patients and run by the hospice they will pay for!!!. Who knew?

I resent this insurance so much. It's a state law to have access to Death With Dignity and Providence won't cover it. The only other option is Kaiser Permanente and they cover DWD with an 8$ co-pay. I am trapped, insurance switch isn't until Jan. I really thought hospice offered more and I was wrong. It is just a way for insurance to save money by restricting access severely to one agency and limiting options. I will speak to PCP and hash out options. I am amazed because none of this happened with hospice in Sarasota when my Dad passed in 2006. They were awesome and their inpatient facility amazing. Wish our insurance would let us use what's available here. There is one adult foster home for terminal patients that is just fantastic.. cough up the entire amount on your nickle.

Sorry to rant but I am so disgusted and disappointed I can't tell you. Thanks for listening.

Loveroflife

Oh Rose,

dunesleeper

Chevy, they are pushing that bloody 10. I know how to use my 8.1, so I will sit back and hear how people are liking it before I fix something that is not broken. I hope it turns out to be fairly bug free, quick, and far more user friendly because I saw a great deal of frustration with Windows 8 when I was working in Office Depot (not least of all myself) lol.

Your driveway/sidewalk really does look lovely, You do good work and have an eye for landscaping.

I am so sorry about the choices they are leaving you for DWD or hospice, Rose. Cybe hug passing through. Excuse me. Cyberhug is needed by Rosevalley. You sure have me thinking about it all. I will need to pull out my Cigna information. I know my fear level will hit the roof if decent hospice care is not available to me. I know you must feel the same.

M0mmyof3

Rose, sorry you have to face these not so great options.

 

Had a good time last night with a few neighbors of mine at a community event.

Missing my daddy today as it would have been his 76th birthday.

Gonna finish my coffee and get going on the housework for today.

Freygea

Morning everyone. Slept better last night lover so that is great. Thinking I am going to have a decent day. Ty very much for asking.

Gah Rose , I know you have heard it all but I am so sorry. Is there a church or even a social worker anywhere that may be able to help in some way? Gah If I were feeling better I would come and stay with you. I am a retired hospice nurse and can tell you you do not have to be a retired hospice rn wippy dippy dooo to help give someone and thier family a good death.. I know you do not want to leave your family while in your home, but with the right people there, your family and yourself would be very comfortable, and your family would cherish all the memories in your house once you are no longer with them.

I wish I was not in treatment myself atm because I would come and help in any way I could.

Hugs to everyone!

Chevyboy

Morning gals......... Boyd.... You CAN'T leave! We don't even know what's wrong with you yet! And don't tell your Husband "nothin'".... See, they try to know what is going on and how we feel, but they just can't. I talked about all that stuff here...! Mostly because my Husband and both my Daughter's were even more afraid than I was!

So here I was trying to make them feel better, and not to worry.... But it helped me too. I'll tell you, the waiting for answers is the worst. Maybe you have something and maybe you don't.... But you gotta find out, then just deal. Your Doc will come up with some sort of plan.... and you go along with it. They just need answers...

So that's what WE are here for. I didn't send you a PM, but I was thinking about you....So don't just walk away.... See, I'm older.... so I know what you are going through...

Spookie, thanks... I don't think it is Neuropathy.... Only her manicurist that does her toe-nails told her that.... So she assumed that's what she had. It CAN'T be, otherwise her feet would feel funny on the bottoms with ALL her shoes... But I made her laugh... I just make fun of her, when she comes up with these ideas.... She said her blood-pressure was a little "high" yesterday... I told her, well maybe it's all that blood racing down to your feet, causing them to get all excited, and that's what's wrong.......

Dunes, I got along with Windows 8.1 great..... And that's why I was a little leery of windows 10... But so far so good! I don't use it for "office" or syncing anything, because I don't have anything to sync! Haaaaaaaah! And I don't have a clue what "cloud" is... or numerous OTHER things I hear about..... But from what I gather, "Cloud" is where Cortana, and all my stuff lives............. When I need anything I just type something in, and the answers come from the clouds.... It's like a huge storage bin! Right? If it isn't, I don't know what to think...

Rosie.... tell me what to do, and I will take care of it... What's WRONG with these people? Can you talk to your big know-it-all provider, and ask them what's the BIG problem? Can you go about this another way? I mean with like the STATE? Ask someone who looks over those bug-eyed insurance agency's who you can turn to? Tell THEM the problem, and I'll bet they can help you.

I'm going to submit this, before I lose it.......

Chevyboy

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/boyf...

This is sooooo funny! It was on the Warm and Fuzzy thread, and the "pain level" scale is hysterical! You don't want to sound like a sissy, when you say how MUCH something hurts, but DAMN, sometimes you just want to take out that cast-iron skillet and whack them over the head with it!

Boyd748

Thanks Chevy,

I am here. I slept last night when I had so much I needed to do. Figures lol. I just got up and am having pains in my problem breast sharp of and on which is a good sign?! Breast cancer doesn't hurt they say. Also it itches like crazy. Last night I told my husband that I didn't think I had much of a chance because my boobs match fairly well. He pointed out how they don't, the problem one is noticeably larger than they other and doesn't hang like the other and you can see the spot on the aerola under the nipple where it's rippled Easley and how it turns the nipple down. I know strange morning conversation. I hadn't actually looked at my breasts in the mirror, I can run topless all day as long as my son is not home but I hadn't looked at them in a mirror. Wow they are way different. Now I am trying to figure out how my primary doctor didn't see the dimple on my aerola when I showed her it months ago. She told me it was nothing and that they nipple discharge that is clear and yellow is normal. Thank goodness the PA that works at my doctors office was there when I mentioned it last time and sent me to have it checked. Bear with me sorry so long.

It's actually a funny story how I finally got sent on. My doctors office had a med student interning in the office. She was really young and just doing blood pressure and bp etc. when she asked About any problems I told her about my breast but I also showed them to her. You should have seen her face not to mention the face of my 16 year old daughter who was in the room. The intern was shaken up and told me how she has never seen anything like that before and had never had anyone show her their chest. Oops! First time for everything. When the young PA came in to see me and I mentioned my breast issues he said very quickly while trying to avoid looking at me that he will send me on for s diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound and there was no need for him to examine them. He did look at the swollen arm pit area. Well the intern didn't come back they said. Lol As for the primary doctor who said it was normal I was told Monday she is talking about retiring like early September at least that's what the PA said. I haven't seen her since all this started but at least it's being checked. Sorry so long hope that's cool

queenmomcat

Boyd: (laughs sympathetically) I do feel a bit sorry for the medical student, mind, but if she's going to get upset by people showing her various body parts, she's probably in the wrong line of work. Unless she's going into something behind the scenes.

Jazzygirl

Rose- I am so sorry about all the hassles with the whole hospice and insurance thing. My mother also had hospice at the end, things may be different with hospice when you are on Medicare, not sure? We had no problems either with that in CA when the time came.

I was going to suggest you talk to your PCP as the doctors can help with these things and maybe their financial advisor folks can work with insurance to get you something that will be good for you at the end. But you are on top of it. You have enough to deal with right now to be having to deal with this. You have created an awareness for me that just because hospice exists, does not mean you will always get what you need when you need it. Hugs sister.

Are you back home or wrapping up your visit in FL now?

Blondie- are you out there? Did you make it to NJ yesterday okay?

Boyd- so wow about your story and how you ended up with the most recent findings. Amazing that the young intern was the one who saw the visible change. My experiences the past few years suggest the more eyes on you, the better. I am a big fan of seeing multiple docs around things, they all see things differently. I hope that you are able to get an apt soon to get this checked out. Lots of ladies here willing and ready to support you as you can see.

I am off to Santa Fe for a few days and will be back and chiming in this weekend. Maybe with some pictures too!

Rosevalley

Chevy that pain scale always does me in.. it's hilarious. "I have Ebola or maybe pinkeye." I just love her stuff. Freygea- I never worked in hospice and this is not what I expected. I sat there as the social worker ran down the list of restrictions and she even called on the phone to their billing office to make sure I couldn't use their facility. I also have heard multiple times from folks with kids in the home how disturbing it was for them to watch a parent die. That the room they died in became a place of constant reminding and pain - a dead zone. I have a rather fragile 14 year old, adopted with bagage. I have known one famly that got up and moved after their Dad passed and their church just about redid their home- new windows, new roof and they still moved. I will not leave from this house, whatever option that will provide that guarantee is what I will do.

Spookie- so now it's sunny and dry? Rained the entire time. Your dog park dry? Hi Patty hope you are well.

susan3

rose, I had palliative care fir my mother-in-law when she lived here. That was great. Ins payed. Self paying groups are home instead and visiting Angels. You have to pay if you don't have long term care ins, but you can pay for just a couple hours for a lunch buddy , or a driver to go somewhere. We will be going that route with my mom just so she isn't bored. Good luck rose. The are so church care giver groups that live to come entertain for awhil

Boyd748

Hey I keep reading where women got the diagnosis and started chemo within a few days after. Is that normal? I have hair down to the back of my knees (I'm about 5'9") and if diagnosed I want to have some photos done before starting treatment. I usually donate my hair when it gets to my lower back but this time I didn't but will definetly do before any treatments. Did any of you have to start treatment immediately? Any time to set up to have photos taken? Strange I know but I want to have good family photos and some by myself and maybe some for my husband. 😉😳

Chevyboy

Okay BOYD! Now you tell that little pin-head husband of yours that he is not "helping!" You must get him in line.... and a cast-iron skillet wouldn't hurt all that much!

That's why we don't have to talk things over with "them".... They are just clueless about women, and how we feel.... What if you had to have a breast removed? What if you had two removed? But what if you didn't have ANY problem with either of them? Your boobs would be the same!

But you still got that husband and one big, and one little boob! Just smack him where he will remember what he said! That's why you talk to us....

Chevyboy

I think you are making too much of this......... just relax.... Do you have any plans yet, or any results or when you will find out? I said waiting is the hardest...

Some women DO get chemo before their surgery.... but like me, no. You don't know anything about what stage, grade, or even if you have BC until your biopsy.... THEN a team will get you all together, and figure out what to do.

Leave that Husband outside the door, then tell him later..... when you want to! We can all do this..... with you....! Those men, and kids get to scared.... so don't make them worry.... that's what we are for.