INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

JunieB

Good morning Ladies,

Shep - So glad & grateful you didn't break anything. But I know you're hurting.

The no anti-inflammatory for those with bone Mets, I've never heard before. I take Relafen daily and my MO is aware of it. I think you might want to double check that with your MO.

Hope you sleep well and feel better soon.

JunieB

After viewing the posts yesterday with the raccoons, I go to lay down and as I'm looking out of my window what do I see. One huge raccoon taking a stroll down the path that runs along the building here.

I wasn't quick enough to snap a pic though.

Smaarty

sheep, happy dance for no broken bones.

JunieB, when do you get to go home? Hope each day gets better.

Sensi, did you survive your first day back? Did Chance?

Well, I'm off to Tahoe this Monday. 5 days of sewing! I'll post pics of the lake and projects as I get them done. First one will be a baby blanket that I have to finish!

We lost a cat to raccoons years ago. I know there's still some in the area but haven't seen them in awhile.

Susan, how you feeling? Anybody hear how Blondie or Patty are doing?

feelingfeline

Sensi, Smaarty and Lover - great to see you all!

I am just back from the Great Saltee Island off Ireland's south coast. No racoons, but plenty of these

There is nothing on the island but birds and peace.

susan3

wow sheps, you did a good job on that foot...yikes

For those who have inquired...inquiring minds want to know... Life is not so good on this end. Going to go back to counseling. My daughter is treating us like we only exist for chores. She was with her in laws on Mother's Day and now on Father's Day. Hasn't called her dad yet. This is just one of many things that have been going on in the past 3 years since their marriage. I should address things as they come along, but I don't....now I am going to explode. Just called her and told her she better call her dad in the next 5 minutes, or I won't be helping move a couch tomorrow. And hung up.

I think she feels so comfy around us that anything goes and no matter we will be ok. She seems to have forgotten that we have feelings to. Everything goes her in laws way and we just have to adjust. Her mother in law even asked me if I am happy cause Claire married a good family and she is there to replace me when I am gone....really!!

I know counseling will bring perspective back to my life. I have left things snowball....so now I am obsessing in that wonderful black hole....uhhhh, I hate when I do this ..blahhhhhh

Jazzygirl

Happy Fathers Day to those of you celebrating with your dads, husbands, sons, etc.

Shep- that bruise looked bad. I was worried for you that it could be a break. I hope you are feeling better soon. I found after a bad sprain that lavender oil along with ice helped to reduce swelling and bruising.

Anonymous

Jazzy ~ I have lavender oil! How do you use it? Applied "straight" it is a good antiseptic for people and dogs (toxic to cats). Do you water it down and then apply?

Loveroflife

Aww Susan, that is not a good place to be in. It drains you of your energy and push you further into darkness. People,including our loved ones, will disappoint us when we place our expectations on them. I think we have this innate desire to control. Can't change others. We can only change our perspectives and actions which is often not easy. Hate it when I am stuck in it too (currently, upset at DH for his insensitive words). May we get 'unstuck' from our hurts and have the grace to forgive as we have been forgiven. Praying we both get out of the black hole soon. Better to spend the precious energy on something good. Easier said than done, I know. Hugs

ShepK, I am glad to hear you didn't break any bones. No anti-inflammatory for metastasis bone pain?? Hmm. I wonder if she was thinking of the steroid anti-inflammatory, i.e. Prednisone. Hated the crutches when I broke my foot three years ago. My armpits couldn't handle the pressure, plus I almost fell a few times using the crutches because I am am klutz. Have you seen a knee scooter similar to this?

It was a life saver for me. You can rent it. Not sure if insurance will pay for it. I ended up buying one. I think it was close to $200. It was a good investment because if I were to rent it for six weeks, it would cost close to what I paid for, plus three people have used it after me. Wish you were closer. I would loan it to you. Arnica also helps with the bruising.

Loveroflife

Feline, nice photo of the puffins. Gereat Saltee sounds like a neat place to visit.

queenmomcat

Awww, bleep, Susan! I wish I was closer, so I could invite myself to your house.

Edit: yeah, her mother-in-law's a real piece of work, if that comment's any indication. I'm with Shepkitty that you might say to MIL "And I'm so happy for [your son] that he has a similarly lovely family to turn to, should you not be here." And add a real toothy sharky grin.

I suppose it's not possible to say to Claire some variant on, simply, "I'm not available." No explanations. No apologies. Just: "I'm not available that day."

feelingfeline

Susan

In my first marriage I used to be responsible for Father's Day, Mother's Day, Birthdays etc

One famous year I remembered to send my Dad a card. This happened because I saw a card I knew would appeal to my Dad and I had bought it weeks in advance and sent it. Only on the day itself did I remember that I had not sent one to ex-DH's Dad....ooops!

Anonymous

Susan ~ Oh. My. Dog.....That mother-in-law is a real See-You-Next-Thursday. (learned that from my mum) Next time you see Ms Sunshine I hope you smile warmly and assure her the feelings go both ways......her son will have a nice family to replace her should she and Mr Sunshine die in a fiery car crash or aneurysms or sumthin'. Bless her heart.

Something I try to remind myself over and over and over is "I am responsible for my own happiness - F 'em all" Easier said than done, I truly do know.

FFH and I met when my DS had just turned 3 and his DS was 9 and his DD was turning 6. Their mother had packed up and high tailed it to Canada one morning after putting them on the bus for school in the morning. She had vanished before but FFH had been able to "cover" it up for the kids. Usually you hear about kids in blended families not getting along. Our three bonded right away and have always considered themselves to be "real" siblings. Never had any of the "new" parent angst either. We were a family. It wasn't/isn't always easy. Both kids have been scarred by their mother's abandonment, which has carried over into adulthood. SDD is genius intelligent but suffers from mental illness. She refused meds and treatment as a young adult. That's another story, but basically she is a manipulative, destructive train wreck.

FFH still feels guilty about trying to make a bad marriage work. He was trying to do the best for his kids. He is always over doing for them, forever trying to make it up. I raised them longer than bio-mom and loved them as my own. (sigh)

So, as adults.... my DS always brings cards, sends texts, calls and visits for every single holiday. For both of us. DSS has gotten better about his dad's special days. He has never acknowledged me on Mother's Day. Nor has SDD. SDD never acknowledges us for anything. The only contact she has with her father is if she needs something - she even texted him for money on his birthday! No birthday wishes though. She no longer contacts me at all. When I was first dx'd and too sick to function, she offered no help and only caused more problems and stress. Horrible to say, but we are thankful her other self induced med problems make it highly unlikely she will ever breed. Thank Dog she lives many states away now.

The boys (28 & 21) rent a house together a few blocks away. SDS won't ever offer help but will do so if asked. Sometimes. FFH spends most of his free time with his son or his BFF. I am alone most of the time. If I go out it is usually with DS. He is a good boy

My sweet Granny used to say "Don't let the bastards get you down!". She was a bad ass

Your health, your husband's health, your happiness, peace and comfort are what matter most. "Mother" is a title and also a verb. You will always be Mother. Claire is a grown woman. No more mothering required. Tell her how you feel and then leave it at that. She is now both a Mother and one who mothers. You have set such a loving, positive supportive example of all the wonderful things the word Mother means. Now it's her turn to be the nurturer. Or not.

Focus on YOU. DH and Shelby. I know it's hard. We can only control our own actions though.

Pushing the special command button on my 'puter for you

Jazzygirl

Shep- no dilution needed. I take a bit in the palm of my hand & rub it on the affected area. Doing it before you ice can have a double effect of reducing swelling and pain. It really helped me after a bad ankle sprain.

susan3

I have seen people on that knee hingy. They move quicker than me.

Had a long talk with Claire...she insisted, knew something was up and wanted to clear the air. Really still not in a good pace to purge.....but it exploded out from me...,ahhhhhhhhh...not happy with myself. But bless her heart she was calm the whole time then prayed for us a beautiful prayer for a loving family and understanding and peace and God to guide us.....suddenly I felt like the young child.

The mil, I will just stay clear from.

Relationships....why can't they always be like unicorns and rainbows???????

Anonymous

Susan ~ It IS all unicorns and rainbows!

Anonymous

Loverly ~ I keep "stepping" on my bad foot with the crutch. We'd be dangerous together! There are two hospitals equally close to our house. I wanted to go to one, FFH drove me to the other. ER we went to is iffy on competence. That helpful nurse came out with some real doozies. Don't know what her specialty was, but she had no clue about Oncology. During intake, she started pressing on my spine to "examine" for damage. I had already explained my spine situation and asked once nicely not to touch me there. She argued and kept poking and pressing. Came close to cussing her out. I very firmly told her to remove her hands immediately before we continued anything. She complied. I'm little but fierce. Even FFH backed up! MO will do back scans. I'll also have the x-ray of my foot double checked. I only saw that ER nurse, no doctor or real exam.

Not as cool as Wenchie but I do have my John Deer to tool around the house in

Feline ~ Love the Puffins! I know they live in Maine, but didn't know they lived other places. Neat! Keeping track of everyone's birthdays and such is hard! Hope you were forgiven for the one time you forgot

sas-schatzi

ELEvate......open the page know no more. ELEVate

Loveroflife

That John Deer is even better than the knee scooter. With your fragile spine the knee scooter is not a good idea. BaHahahaha @ the Unicorn.....isn't that the truth? Relationship is where we get to practice our virtues.

WenchLori

Ohhhh SWEET Shepkitty!! I so want one! LOL

I love the puffins too!

sensitivehrt

Shep- Hope your foot heals quickly and am glad it isn't broken.  Love your John Deer

Smaarty- First day back was ok.  I amazingly woke up 8 minutes before my alarm went off at 4:50.  I definitely could feel it in my chest working today.  Little time to take it easy. Had to wing it and learn the new system, which wasn't to bad, except I made a med error which hasn't happen in a couple of years.  Very disappointed in myself.  Just very thankful, it wasn't something major.  A reminder to slow down!

Susan- Hope things get better with your daughter and ignore the MIL, she's an ass.  I'm sorry you have to put up with that

Holeinone

Susan, boy oh boy, I think I might have gone postal on this women. I have been sick pretty much the last 3 months. You know, 5 infusions, still progression, everywhere. Hard to stay on top the pain some days, which is my fault. If someone said that to me, about one of kids, the way I feel right now, I might of needed bail $.

I hate violence, so I am kidding, but the words coming out of my mouth would not be G rated. Was this MIL controlling before they got married?

sensitivehrt

Holeinone-great signs!!!!

sas-schatzi

Susan, so sorry that you feel that way about Claire and in-laws. I have much the same and the kids aren't even married. Totally sucks. You have been so giving and caring. Sucks. Serious big squeezing hugs. Chit , if they went through by your side of one week of chemo may be they'd have an attitude change. They have no comprehension what you do. Hmmmm. well fix that--- do a turn about. Ask for help on the chemo week. Serious. They need a reality check. Don't let Claire or Andrew of the hook with the new baby. She needs it as a daughter. He needs it as a doc. You've made BC look easy to them. They need to see what it's really like. LOVE YOU.

Wenchie, I wrote that thread year after dx. So wish I had that info. I had these piles around the house of info. insurance, whatever. Two people with cancer at one time. DH kept track of miles and I had the calendar of visits that year b/c I heard that was important. 258 visits and the miles I forget. Allot. Sucked. Then the next year was worse. But the paper was organized. 9 binders. Part of why I stick to BCO. Newbies need our help and care. LOVE YOU

Shep, Nice to hear nothing broken YAY Elevate. Well, that's interesting that they told you no anti-inflammatories with bone met's when the research says different. There ya go. BTW final dispostion of dx should have been by a doc, but you were likely routed to Fast Track. A Nurse Pactitioner. Call them back when you have a moment and ask there source on the no anti-infllammitories. SUCKS. LOVE YOU.

Mommy, adorable, we have much the same with Shats. It's nice isn't it. Hugs chickie

sas-schatzi

Feline Puffins, I thought the were only on the north American coastline. Am I wrong one the ID? A great quiet visit..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Loverly, you are such a good soul...........They didn't teach proper crutch walking.. I see you recognized Puffins too

Shep. oh my, we should store this some where OH yes, I wrote a topic on how to create a personal storage area.

" Your health, your husband's health, your happiness, peace and comfort are what matter most. "Mother" is a title and also a verb. You will always be Mother. Claire is a grown woman. No more mothering required. Tell her how you feel and then leave it at that. She is now both a Mother and one who mothers. You have set such a loving, positive supportive example of all the wonderful things the word Mother means. Now it's her turn to be the nurturer. Or not."

Susan Unicorms and rainbows and Shep comes up with the absolute perfect visual WOW

sas-schatzi

Sheesh.

sas-schatzi

What our kids do to us

Holeinone

Claire's MIL

Loveroflife

Hiho, I read your post on the liver mets thread. I am sorry to hear those buggars are causing trouble in your bones despite the pain and trouble you have been going through the last 3 months with treatment. Hoping your MO has the wisdom to do something about the the bone mets. I love the beach too. The sound of waves crashing over the sand combines with the smell of salt water is therapeutic for the soul.

The glistening dots of light are caused by microscopic organisms called bioluminescent phytoplankton

feelingfeline

Love the bioluminescent phytoplankton!

Sas Irish Puffins are Atlantic Puffins. I think there are some Atlantic Puffins on eastern coast N America and a different species - Pacific Puffins on the west coast. Atlantic Puffins are found around the British Isles. They are sweet birds.

There were 3 types of Auks on the Great Saltees (Guillemots, Puffins and Razorbills) The razorbills have to have been the inspiration for Robocop. This is a Razorbill, Robocop view

this is the profile view

Isn't he lovely

It was an adventure as you can only go to visit the island via a small ferry, transferring to a 6 man dinghy as you near the island.

I was there both Fri and Sat.

The island is visited by mainly by birdwatchers and photographers.

There was a lady birdwatcher from Davis CA in the party on Fri and a lovely photographer couple from Deland FL on the Sat.

The island is bird metropolis.

For me it was a real adventure as I was meant to go with my photography club. Near the time for going a local conflicting event arose and a number of the party couldn't make it. The club were chartering a ferry and needed 12 people. So the date was switched to next weekend. DD is dancing in a ballet next weekend, both Sat and Sun, so no way could I go away next weekend.

Then it struck me I could go on the planned dates but on my own! The last time I was away on my own I think was when I was in hosp having my MX () . Believe me this visiting the island was a BIG improvement in solo adventures.

As a result of being by myself I met and chatted to all sorts of people from Ireland , Northern Ireland, England, the US, India and China.

Oh and I saw some lovely birds.

WenchLori

Holy Chit! Some MILs are just !!BEASTS!! I'm so glad I'm not one of them. I love my SIL and both DILs like my own children and treat them as such. My MIL isn't my mother in law, she's my Mom and I call her Mom. I lover her to pieces and we get along great! My DH is going home for their family reunion this weekend. My #2Mom was very disappointed that I won't be going as am I. I can't leave my #1Mom alone as she doesn't listen to what she's told! She has broken her hip and then her pelvis at seperate times in the past year. I told her the next time she does what she's told not to do and ends up in the nursing home, I'm going to leave her there. I love her to pieces but now is the time I put myself first. Without my health I can't take care of her. If only she'd understand that, she says she does but goes right back to being needy when she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself... Sigh

Lots of hugs and love to everyone!!