February 2011 chemo pals

dogeyed

SpecialK, Roadkill, tooooooo funny. 

Fuzzy, I was totally spaced out yesterday, had no idea what I was doing, I REALLY feel for you having to work.  Extra water might help, I forgot about it yesterday. 

This Taxol makes me shaky and nervous.  Guess I'll be quartering the Valium they gave me two months ago to relax.  But much less pain.  Someone asked, I took double dose of Oxycodone at end of AC and it somehow got me thru.  GG

lorenar

Hello my ladies. Sorry I have been away,our internet service was having issues. Glad for you doing well. Sorry for you felling bad. My first taxol/herceptin was doable just hoping #2 on doesnt bite me in the ass. ha. Well UPDATE; MY DH took me for that second opinion and we love this onc. I kinda have to stay where I am for now at least until I finish these taxol. When I start herceptin only Ill change over docs completely, he will only need to see me once a month. 1  Noone has even done my bone scan and he says its only 1% you get it but who would want to know when its to late well me they better schedule it asap. 2 My tongue has felt numb and pain since last adrimyacin a month ago so I thought the chemo done it since my docs never check my mouth he did I have a infection in it he gave me pills for. 3 he said Im very lucky I havent been in hospital since they never gave me a neutropenic shot as low as my blood was sometimes. 4 he never heard of any onc not wanting to give any of us women ativan to sleep. He was appualed when I told him how ive been suffering. lets say wv looks stupid to him right now. He gave me so many ativan to take 2 times a day or 3 if needed. He said I could come see him anytime even now though. I told him I ma y have to just to get the ativan he laughed and said okay. I just cant afford to drive 4 hours down and 4 back more than once a month. He makes me feel like at least hes wathching on me. I didnt ask for pain pills but reading your stories I may have to go back for that, ha, I slept so sound last night for the first time in months. Its so sad you have to leace your homestate to get treated with respect thoough it really is. Hope you all are okay. Ive missed keeping up with you. have a very happy easter. My Mamas havin dinner. Yummy. Also are we really allowed to take ibophoran  mispelled Im sure with taxol and herceptin noones told me.

sukie10

HAPPY EASTER !!!

Hope everyone is enjoying their day as much as possible.

Lorenar, So glad to hear you like your new Onc. Having a team you trust is very important. Drugs were made to make us comfortable and we deserve to be as comfortable as possible through this. It really is sad you have to drive so far to get some relief though. The stuff we have to go through. Grrr.

Sending cyber chocolate bunnies out to everyone.( They are better for you anyway. )

mks16

Happy Easter to ((((all my wonderful chemo pals)))) !!

Melanie_Ann

Going in for round 5 of chemo tomorrow! Almost done!

I'm glad you like you're ONC better lorrenar. I'm at WVU and like it. I wonder what the difference is. 

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you're all well!

lorenar

Hi ladies. Sitting in the chair getting # 2 of #10 poison juice. My appointment was 11am and Im just now finishing the herceptin. What a day. Hope all my chemo buddies had a nice Easter, My Mama made a real nice dinner, sooo goood. ha. It seems like each visit gets a ;little linger. ha. probably just because I want to get all of this done just like all of you and move on. Will we really though? Move on that is I dont know about ya all but I will appreciate each day a lot more and be thankful for so many healthy happy people I know. I foind out they did dp the bone scan when they did the cat scan just failed to  fax it to my second opinion. It was good news with rest of body. I was a little scared waiting to know. ha. have a nice evening ladies. A question does this taxol and herceptin come with any harder problems as each one is under our belt like worse bone pain. etc. bye for now.

lorenar

Not sure what the difference is Melanie-Ann. If you havent had pIN BOTHERING YOU or anxiety and asked them for medicine for it, than maybe your getting treated better. For me its like I dont care if you have a panic attack or severe bone pain as long as I dont have to write  a script thats gonna help you. ha.

alison0415

Hi Everyone, chemo #4 for me this week (TCH) Thursday.

 One question I had for the group.... the past few days I have been totally wiped out like I've never experienced thus far.  I can hardly keep my eyes open and have to nap several times a day.  Is that from a low blood cell count?  Does anyone know how to improve that?  I am afraid they might delay my chemo which would really upset me.  I do get the neulasta shot, fyi.

Thanks in advance for anyone with more knowledge than I.

 Alison

pejkug3

Alison - we're on the same schedule and I've been having the same crushing fatigue!  I don't know why it's happening, but I have the same concerns about a delay for chemo.  It's always something, right?  *sigh*

Like Alison, I'm scheduled for TCH #4 on Thursday.  And I'm *dreading* it.  Ugh!  This round really knocked me for a loop.  I'm just so darn tired.

I saw a complementary medicine doctor a couple weeks ago and I promised I'd report back with what supplements she recommended for use during chemo:  Vitamin D and PSK (medicinal mushrooms).  That's all.  She said that we could discuss supplements for post chemo/rads in a couple months.  She did recommend juicing or drinking "Naked" brand juices.  She believes that BC is a problem with a person's immune system and that we could all benefit from strengthening our immune systems.  She recommended yoga and massage for stress relief (which is good for immune strength).  It was an informative appt. and I will go back.

She (and my onc) believe that I have celiac disease.  It wouldn't surprise me...my grandma, aunt and cousin have it.  So an endoscopy and/or colonoscopy is on my list of things to do in the next few weeks.  Yay.

Guess what *lovely* gift I got today?  My period.  Go figure.  I thought that chemo was going to knock my ovaries out of service for a while?!  Guess not.  But I still have 50% of my hair (albeit SHORT hair) and have to shave my armpits and legs.  The worrywart in me is concerned by all of that, but I talk myself out of worrying by reminding myself that not every patient gets side effects....

 My friends have decided that I need to have meals brought in.  Everyone who I've talked to after this round of chemo says that I sounds so tired.  And I am.  But I feel guilty that my friends are bringing in meals.  Heck, they've put themselves on a schedule that has them making meals until mid June!  I am so crazy blessed to have terrific friends.  My four kids were laughing at dinner about how our meals are being "imported" now.  From our friend's kitchens! 

 I'm still having a bit of trouble with my eyes.  But it's improved a lot, I believe.  Unfortunately, discontinuing the Minocycline has made my roseacea kick in in full force.  Anyone have rosecea?

What do you guys think about "chemo-brain"?  A real thing?  Imagined?  I have a lot of trouble remembering things and concentrating on written text.  It's like my eyes just cannot focus on words.  I remember feeling a bit like that when my daughter drown and I was so very depressed.  I don't think I'm depressed, so I'm thinking this may be attributed to "chemo-brain".  Anyone having trouble with memory/concentration?  I don't know how you ladies who work keep your focus to do quality work! 

dogeyed

About all I know on being tired and keeping blood cells up, which mine have been real good thru four ACs and now one Taxol, is eat protein thru day.  In fact, protein snack items taste better than a lot of stuff.  I got some canned meats, easy to fix and snack.  Hormel's makes a shelf selection of boxes with meat & gravy type stuff, for micro.  Soup, sandwiches.  Food also has a positive effect on the mind, love V-8.  But even I am exhausted just going outside to check the mail.  Ha!  Oh, and anytime my body hurts, I take half a pain pill, constant discomfort is wearing on the mood. 

But gosh, I can get so blue, drives me up a wall.  Yesterday I was crying and thinking nobody cared, legs really hurt, tired of being on the couch with the TV.  So, after telling husband what a ruin I was, he goes, "I care," I made myself traverse the backyard to unlock the side gate for the mow man this week, took a pill, ate ravioli right out of the can, and I was okay after that.  But I honestly do not know how you ladies are working, I absolutely could not even stand up much less work, but I am older and disabled, maybe that's why.  It REALLY helps to think of you guys when I get in a fix, I just remember that you are all in the same boat, bailing water and no land in sight.  But don't you know, when we finally reach the shores, we'll all get out and run, lay in the sand, and just smile, smile, smile.  We're buying at least two years, and most of us the rest of our lives, else the docs would not put us thru this.  Love, another chemo wasteland, Gail

SpecialK

alison - it could be from a low hemoglobin.  Eat some more red meat, leafy greens, high protein foods etc.  Part of it is just you are to #4, but up your intake of iron rich stuff and you may see some improvement.

pejkug - I still have half my hair as well and am having to shave - no measure of how well the chemo is working, you and I just didn't lose all our hair.  I had a hysterectomy ten years ago so no period though.  Also, chemo-brain is real for many.  I don't feel I have been affected that way - any problems I have had with that are more likely fatigue related, but many women  have commented about lack of concentration.

DivineMrsM

dogeyed, I had anxiety and depression this past weekend.  Had received my 4th chemo treatment the Wednesday before.  Was taking Ativan to help me sleep at night, one pill a day. It dawned on me it was for anxiety as well a nausea, so I took one Ativan during the day on Sunday and my anxiety began to lift. I actually was surprised and rather happy to get relief from the anxiety.

As I thought things thru, I remembered I still had an anti-anxiety perscription given to me about a year ago from my gynecologist.  As I got older, I sometimes experienced such stress during PMS, he told me to take the medicine for a week before my periods. 

Monday, rather than take the ativan, I took the antidepressant.  I'm so surprised by my turn-around in outlook on all things in general.  I answered the phone when it rang rather than screened the calls.  I answered a friend's knock at the front door rather than let my husband tell her I wasn't available--then had a two hour visit with her!  I even felt the urge to do some deeper cleaning like scrub the bathroom (rather than just the usual dust and vacuum of main rooms to keep the appearance that things look clean.)  

So what I'm saying is, perhaps you could check with your doctor about an antidepressant.   I am certainly going to discuss the matter with my oncologist when I see her in two weeks but it has already made a nice difference for me in just two days.  It's only taken me since finding a lump in my breast in December to figure out by now that I can find some help along the way, sometimes in the form of medicine!

mks16

@Pejkug3, I haven't missed a period yet

My first one was  right on time, only a few days after my first chemo so I figured it was too late in the cycle for it to stop. My second one was delayed by a couple of days, but it came. It was only 4 days long and I thought that was it, but wouldn't you know, two weeks later, I GOT ANOTHER ONE!

Ugh, I feel like I've been promised stuff that wasn't delivered, haha. I also still have some hair, but now that I've started Taxol it should all be falling off soon. 

Saw my dentist yesterday, to rule out any dental problems and he confirmed that the pain and infection are actually coming from my sinuses. The swelling (GOLD Ball ) is still there, in my left supraclavicular area. I am trying not to panic, although it did make me realize how vulnerable we all are. I was the epitome of positive attitude all along, and then I found that lump and it all came crashing down like a card house.Now I feel like I've just been deluding myself into thinking that I will be fine when in reality I simply don't know that. All I can do is hope for the sunshine and sandy beach Gail is talking about!

MamaV

Hello all.  I'm new to this site.  I had to chuckle about the name of the group Feb 2011 chemo pals.  I wish I only had chemo in Feb.  I started A/C on Jan 26th (4 - once every 3 weeks) and have now started weekly Taxol.  I will be having chemo until July!  (Then radiation of course).  Like I said - wish it was just for Feb.  The A/C kicked my butt!  I was down and out for days 2-4 and could barely get out of bed.  Taxol has been MUCH easier to tolerate.  Next Taxol is Thursday.

I started reading these forums b/c I think I have hit a brick wall.  I am emotionally exhausted and feel like I cry all the time.  I have unbelievable anxiety (even with anti-anxiety meds) and even though I have a great support system, I feel like I am alone in this fight.

I knew this was going to be tough, but oh boy is it!

mks16

Welcome MamaV!

I've hit the brick wall couple of times since my diagnosis in December '10, so I know how it feels and everyone else here knows it all to well too.

I hated A/C with passion, and same as you, I find Taxol easier to handle. I hope it gets better with each treatment, everyone here is very kind and supportive no matter what is physicial or emotional issue bothering you. 

I'll be your radiation buddy as well, not how I wanted to spend my summer, but oh well....

Sending a big hug your way!

MamaV

Thanks mks16 - you are a week ahead of me in diagnosis, but almost everything looks very close!  Glad to know I'm not the only one on this roller coaster ride of emotions.  Thanks for the hug - it helps to know I'm not alone. 

And yes, I'll ride the radiation train with you too!

SpecialK

MamaV - All any of us did was start chemo in February - some of us are neoadjuvent, some us have already had surgery and will have more.  Some will need rads and some of us have some other issues as well - just a way to say - you are not alone with having to continue treatment long after February!  We will all be here with you one way or another.  It is hard to see the forest for the trees but you will find great support along this journey from the strong women in the Feb group.

sukie10

Alison my first and third AC knocked me out big time. I'm not really sure why I breezed through the second one. I asked my Onc today about the tiredness and she said it will improve within a couple of months after chemo is done. She seemed to think it was a very normal side effect. I guess when we are used to being so active it's hard to settle into the extra sleep requirements. I nap a lot. I have noticed V8 juice works for a little pick me up.

I also was surprised by a period just 5 weeks into chemo that lasted 10 days instead of the usual 4. I'm hoping no more surprises this round. The no period thing was the only side effect that I was happy about. My last AC is in a few hours. I can't wait to be done with that half.

I love the Onc apt. before chemo day. I'm always at my lowest and then I go in for my tumor measurement and find out how much it shrunk and it gives my the "high" I need to get in for my poison the next day. Today they couldn't find the sucker. So while it might still be visable on an MRI it is clinically gone. I'm so happy to know that all of this isn't for nothing. 

I'll likely be sleeping until Sunday, that's the usual routine. Hang in there, we are making real progress! 

dogeyed

Welcome MamaV, You're in the right place to grab hold of when you hit that brick wall.  We are all well-acquainted with that dang wall, it's insufferable, unmoving, not exactly attractive, you know, plenty of slobber on it from visit-ees.  But as each chemo sort of wears off, hope comes back, and we turn around and walk away from it.  I'm on my chemo until the very first of July, then surgery, then rads, so it's all summer for me, too.

DivineMrsM,  How dear of you to think of me and give me that tip on the tranquilizer and the antidepressant.  I do take antidepressants, but you know what, they put extras in my bottle (I have it that way with several of my regular medicines), so I think I'll throw an extra one in every other day and perhaps that will help me.  Also, one of my pain medicines with the Taxol, I got very nervous, and I had an old bottle of Valium left from February, so I quartered those and felt WORLDS better.

MKS, Ha!  Gosh, I hope SOMEbody will get rid of your "Gold" ball , I do not understand such a thing!  Does it hurt?  I guess they think it will get reabsorbed, or probably just a liquid cyst type thing from infection that they don't know whether to try to drain it or what.  I hope they at least scan it, or have they already?  You've had some wild stuff happening with your rashes and swellings there, so I do believe this is some wild part of "side effects."  Have the oncologist people seen this sort of thing before?  Just what is going on here!!! 

Yesterday, a yard man came out to talk with me about putting some rhododendron along our roadway out front.  I've been meaning to put them in for five years, since we first moved here, and put it off.  Well, this cancer routine made me want to get stuff like that done.  Do I want to go to Hawaii or the Mediterranean?  No, I WANT SHRUBS.  Well, me and this man, we went all the way around my property, thru the briar patch, under archways of broken limbs, and I have NO IDEA how I made it... altho I did take a half pain pill just before he came, to sort of keep my legs from buckling.  Turns out HE has a bad back from a recent car wreck, which he tells me after we sort of slid down a small rise between my fence and neighbor fence, and I told him he could put his hand on my shoulder, and I WAS THE ONE who was going to ask him to do that for me!  I won't be doing no thicket hiking again anytime soon, sure got my walk in, tho!  Maybe I can do more than I've thought all these years of feeling sad about selling our big house and downsizing.  Cancer DOES put a new perspective on things, so while it's like walking a tightrope, the view can be revealing and amazing.  GG

MamaV

SpecialK - thanks!

dogeyed - thanks to you too - I love your description of the wall - soooo true!  I find your desire for shrubs interesting and amazing - great attitude! I am having the exact opposite reaction (maybe it's the nerves and depression), b/c I don't care about any of that stuff anymore.  I feel like everything is on hold until I get through this battle.  Maybe I need something to look forward to besides cancer treatments??? 

Taxol #2 tomorrow - hope it goes as smoothly as #1 last week. 

V-

Thundershowers

TAC #4 for me this morning.  I always get so down on chemo day.  I am so over doing this - let this please end soon!      After I get through the bad days I will be 2/3 through this.  I only count that I am through each one after the bad days.   ugh ugh ugh

MamaV

Thundershowers I feel the same way - I'm so over this and get so down on chemo day.  I usually get down the day before too just thinking about it.  Good luck today.  Here's to more good days than bad!

dragonfly1

Thundershowers and MamaV I'm with you both...I'm always down on chemo day. It's the worst to know what's coming. I had TCH #4 last week and it's been the worst one yet. I've had awful SEs ever since and I'm on day 9. I usually start to feel better on day 10 so I'm almost into the good days now but I get so emotional during the bad days and feel like I just can't do this anymore. I was in tears all day yesterday. I hate taxotere! It's attacked my GI tract to the point that I have 4 days in every cycle where I can't eat at all and have to resort to liquids/soft foods which makes me even weaker and more tired...ARGHHHH! It will improve but it really sucks when it's happening...

MamaV

dragonfly1 - so sorry you are having such a tough time this round!  It's so hard to be strong every day when you know the next day will be much the same.  I hope tomorrow it starts to improve - we could all use the break.  Wish I could give you a hug, sounds like you need one and a good shoulder to cry on (even though I'd be crying right there with you b/c sister, this does suck!)  Hang in there!

alison0415

dragonfly - I am so sorry about your SE with TCH#4.  I know how frustrating it is when the SE's change so drastically from one round to the next.

pegkug3 - I have TOTAL chemo brain.  I can't remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next. Or I will start a conversation with someone and seconds later can't remember my point.  I own a business, and it is so frustrating and a bit embarrasing when it happens with my clients.

I also want to re-state my recommendation to try accupuncture to help minimize SEs.  My onc is on the staff at UCLA and was on the team that developed herceptin.  He is a proponent of accupuncture and as I mentioned, it is even recommended on this site.  I also gave him some written information from my accupuncturist regarding natural supplements developed for chemo/rad patients and he approved them.  I wasn't going to take anything without checking.  The product is called C/R Support.  The description says "for cancer patients receiving chemo and radiation, C/R Support complements the overall treatment by enhancing the immune system, reducing the side effects of the drug treatment, inhibiting the growth of cancer cells, and boosting the energy and vitality of the patient. 

I certainly am not a medical expert and everyone needs to check with their own doctor, but I think it is good to put this information out there for people to look into.  I can tell you that accupuncture has definitely eased by side effects.  I will be getting this supplement on Saturday and will let everyone know if it seems to help.

Alison 

pejkug3

Thanks for the info, Alison.  My complementary medicine doctor recommended acupuncture.  I haven't had a chance to look into it.

BTW, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.  I'll be in the onc office for labs at 9am and probably being infused around 10am.  (UGH!  I'm really not looking forward to it at all...)

Melanie_Ann

Made it through chemo number 5 on Tuesday! One more to go for me. I have been feeling much more fatigued lately too. I'm not letting it bother me though. A nap is always good. I finally got some relief from my nausea with a new med- Zyprexa. It didn't completely take it away but it made it much more tolerable. Now i'm just trying to recover. I get down around chemo time too. We're making it ladies!

Braveheart

Hi ladies, I hope and wish each one of you gets through chemo with minimal SE. I had my 1st Taxol last week. It was very hard on my bones. Day 3 is when my leg bones were on fire! I woke up at 4:30am from a burning watery sensation on my lower body. It felt like boiling water was running through my bones. I was barely able to walk for days. Did anybody else experience this?

My nurse said I should take ibuprofen for the pain, unfortunatelly it didn't help much. It's been hard to walk for about a  week. It's day 10 now and the pain has almost completely gone:) I had pain in my knees as well. AC was very hard on me especially #1 and #3  and I was in bed for a week each time. I was told taxol is lighter. I wish that was true for me. I'll have my next Taxol in 5 days. I'm scared of the pain.

I also feel depressed and sensitive. I feel that nobody cares if something happens to me, they all just moved on with their lives. Deep down I know my feelings are misleading but at this time I can't help the blues. It must be the chemo! I can't wait for this rollercoster to be over. I have 3 more Taxol left!

Yestreday I went dress shopping, I felt so depressed that all the dresses that I loved and would have looked lovely on me before now would make me look like a freak. I had my MX 3 months ago and I'm left with a huge scar emotianally and physically. I'm just now starting to cry about what has happend to me. Before I didn't have any time, since everything happend so fast. How are you ladies coping with mastectomy, chemo blues, bold head? I don't feel alone when I come on here. Thank you girls for lending an ear.

SpecialK

braveheart - I am sorry you are in pain and sad.  Remember that the taxol is on top of your first regimen so your SE are going to be cumulative.  You need to ask your onc for something stronger for pain if ibuprofen is not giving you relief.  I know it is hard when you are only one quarter of the way through but you have to go one day at a time, it is all you can do.  Just make sure you are prepared for the next one with stronger pain meds.  I have been dress shopping too for a wedding in two weeks.  Between the fluid retention and having to disguise having only one remaining TE it is a challenge!  Nothing looks good and I am not sure I can get shoes on my feet the day of! And nothing goes with bald! Just in the last couple of days as I am looking in the mirror I am starting to look scary to myself, the wig and makeup are not helping anymore.  For the first time I look sick to myself.  Lately I am also feeling what you do about people moving on, the phone calls are fewer - people just figure I am ok.  I am lucky to have a few friends who have either had BC and are checking on me, or longtime friends who would never let me down.  They all live far away though.  We do not live near family (my DH's, mine are all gone) and while at first they were attentive, now not so much.  I know what you're feeling, you are not alone.

lorenar

Hi Ladies. I as well have been extra tired and sleepy after this round of taxol/herceptin, and I am glad to know others are having the same side effects so I know its not in my head, Ha. Also have been more down than usual and couldn't figure it out. The ativan new doc. prescribed has really been a blessing though. My car is now in the shop getting a new waterpump and timingbelt. when it rains it pours. ha. Wanted all day to get my summer clothes put out but felt so exhausted said heck wit it Im takin a nap so I did, Sorry you ladies are feeling bummers as well. Better days ahead for us all. My hair stubbles are getting bigger. LOL.